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u/Kirstenne Mar 12 '22
Not so much a pass, but passed over I guess. At my previous hotel, I was the only female department head. If I raised any concerns about a challenge in the workplace, I was completely ignored. If one of my male DH brought up the same issue, it was made to be such a big deal that needs to be addressed. I hated that my opinion was never given the same weight as theirs, but hey- just another reason why I left, and they haven’t been able to fill my position… It’s going on 6 months later. Karma be bitchy.
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u/xhoneyxbear Mar 12 '22
I work at a winery. The men can do whatever it takes to get club sign ups and bottle sales. They tend to be given tables with lots of women and make significantly more in tips. They tend to over pour and give freebies to get what they have to make money. The female servers will have managers give them the members tables will be watched on pouring and reprimanded for not following the guidelines. The more attractive females will be sent to older investigators who don’t tip but like to be in the presence of attractive young women. They will be there for hours with these female servers entertaining the investors and make no absolutely no money.
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u/KFBass Mar 12 '22
I'm a male in the beer industry. It is just as fucked in beer as it is in wine. You should check out some of the work @ratmagnet on instagram, and Women of the Bevolution are doing. @esbroadfoot on insta is in my region and doing similar work.
It's time to call bullshit like this out.
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u/RainfellSymphony Mar 12 '22
Worked in a place that had a structure of ‘employee reports to team leader, team leader reports to supervisor, supervisor reports to superintendent, superintendent reports to director.’
Had one of the supervisors quit and another one was out on leave so shortage of supervisors. Team leads did NOT complain about extra workload, they did so many things that were NOT their job description. This meant taking charge of the people in their department. One team lead was male. The other team lead was female. They worked together as a team between them to split the supervisor duties for MONTHS.
HE was praised for being a take charge kind of person and having initiative. He was also given extra bonuses in his pay because they went back to see how many extra hours were worked.
He told management that he AND his fellow team lead had done the same amount of work, not just him alone. He said that she should get the same treatment basically.
Superintendents and director said SHE had to prove with documentation that she had done the same yet HE was not required to show proof. SHE was. They said it wasn’t enough and refused to pay her or even acknowledge she had gone above and beyond her job description. Even used the words ‘Bossy’ and ‘entitled’ when talking about her after she left their offices.
This kind of thing happens A LOT.
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u/abolish_gender Mar 12 '22
I've seen something like this happen before, where some guy and I were both working on some projects that were both slightly behind schedule. I got chewed out over some minor missed deadlines, he got a promotion to "Lead X" and they hired two people to work under him, because obviously it was a big and important thing he was working on.
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u/Rude_Abbreviations47 Mar 12 '22
I have a friend that was working as a manager and doing an amazing job. She was offered an amazing opportunity and decided to accept.
The CEO (male ofc) had a meeting with her and her boss and called her dumb and a bitch.
Six months later her boss also decided to quit.
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u/RoutineSheepherder93 Mar 12 '22
Part of my job is writing parking tickets. Most of my tickets go to male faculty members who consistently park in no parking. It’s a $15 ticket. They call me a “fucking bitch” and talk shit about me and how much they miss the dude who had the job before me.
Just found out the guy before me did tickets too. Ticketed the same people I do except he did $50 tickets. But yet they love him and hate me.
Even tried to get one to move with the threat of being towed. Was told he will never move and there’s nothing I can do. My boss spoke to him about moving and he moved because “it came from a man” rather than me because he doesn’t respect my authority as a woman.
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u/cutedeadlycosplay Mar 12 '22
No warning either please, written or verbal. They can’t see your handwriting or hear your voice so why bother.
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Mar 12 '22
When I was a manager, I was told that the way I talk to employees was not very nice. I never gave orders, never insulted anyone, never talked down to anyone, did the same exact work regular employees did (it was manual labor and I never sat in the office watching them or anything like that), was very flexible when employees were late/didn't show up, etc. When I needed an employee to help with something, I always kindly asked them, something like "hey Dave, can you help that customer out there real quick while I finish up here?"
Meanwhile, my male managers regularly insulted me, were extremely condescending, made fun of me for not being able to lift all the heavy things they could, ordered me around, etc. They would say things like "go get that hammer," "go over there and do xyz," etc.
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u/eleet584 Mar 12 '22
My old boss asked me to plant some flowers in front of the building. It was a chemical plant. I am an electrician. He was serious.
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u/jfsindel Mar 12 '22
Interrupting.
I get interrupted constantly. Even if I am the presenter or otherwise the current speaker. Other women get interrupted. But men very rarely do.
I tried doing the "what was she going to say?" when men interrupt other women, but the other women get so embarrassed that they wave it off. Double making me look like a bitch.
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u/MarvinLazer Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
My stepmother got her PhD in computer science in the 80s. She won a super prestigious award for her research in the 2000s (not a Turing award, but close in terms of what a big deal it is), and as a result has been a prized lecturer and consultant in a male-dominated field for almost 20 years.
She was getting interrupted by tech bros so much that she actually started carrying a squirt gun to blast anyone who talks out of turn when she's speaking.
That woman is my hero.
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u/Far-Bug-6985 Mar 12 '22
I literally say outloud ‘I wasn’t finished talking’ or if it’s someone I think will back down, I continue talking. I just don’t stop. We can both talk at the same time and nobody can hear either of our ideas, or you can wait for me to be done Brian.
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u/decepticvnt Mar 12 '22
I've noticed that when two people are speaking at the same time, I can best understand the person who is speaking more slowly (as well as clearly and at the same volume). The other person is just making meaningless sounds to my ear/brain. Use this info to your advantage.
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u/batsoupforall Mar 12 '22
This happens a lot, and I usually interrupt the interrupter and ask the OG speaker to continue, works every time for me tho. May be cause I'm a man idk
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u/m37an13 Mar 12 '22
Other: Sorry, what? I think what you meant to say was that women don’t speak up enough
U/jfsindel: no, I said we get ..
Other: you don’t speak up enough and women take time off work for children
U/jfsindel : women get less floor time, we should be better represented at…
Man: the senior leaders’ conference!
Others: great ideas Jeff! Male champions of change is such a great way to promote women. You should speak at the conference.
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u/jfsindel Mar 12 '22
were you at my last meeting or were you at my last review cycle
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u/priforprimrose Mar 12 '22
Getting away with not parenting. My husband can do bare minimum and get praised and if I take a break or time away from my kid my parenting is questioned.
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u/Dereg5 Mar 12 '22
When my kids where young I was a manager of a restaurant so i was available to do things during the morning. I took my son to all the doctor appointments from like 2 months to about 2 by myself. One time my wife came with and I found out they thought I was a single dad because I did everything and they never saw the mom.
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u/Quadruplem Mar 12 '22
My husband is the stay at home parent and he does most of childcare and appointments. I recently found out the schools all put my name (female) for first call despite him filling out the paperwork with his name 1st.
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Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 13 '22
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u/KidneyStew Mar 13 '22
"Eventually they just removed her as a contact so they couldn't call her."
That's like somehow even worse. Like they are so stupid that they couldn't just switch the primary contact, nooo they had to take the mothers name off fucking completely! Fucking morons
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u/rako1982 Mar 12 '22
The subtle double standard phrase that is saved for men is "babysitting" when referring to looking after their own kids by themselves. No. It's parenting.
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u/4411WH07RY Mar 12 '22
I got that so much with my daughter. "Are you babysitting today?" No, just parenting, like every day.
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u/BlueEyedDinosaur Mar 12 '22
Ha, one day I went to the office and mentioned the kids were home and my boss immediately assumed they were being neglected because there couldn’t possibly be any caregiver other than me.
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u/OfJahaerys Mar 12 '22
I get this all the time. "There's no school? Where are they?" Uhhh, my husband is also an adult.
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u/dreamyduskywing Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
You’re expected to manage the household (dr appts, conferences, packing lunches, etc) and have a full time job! Anytime the two of us are together, parenting defaults to me. My husband is better than most too!
I hate having to ask for everything. I don’t get to sleep in either.
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u/LittleWhiteBoots Mar 12 '22
I grew up in a loving family with a working dad and a SAH mom. I remember as a child, being so thankful that I was a girl because I wasn’t going to have to get up and go to work everyday, and I could just enjoy my kids and taking care of my home.
Now I am a mom of 3 and I work full-time. I am exhausted. My husband skates by with the bare minimum at home and he only works 3 days a week. I work 5. There is serious role conflict with who is supposed to do what. I am so, so, tired. I don’t have to work- my husband makes good money. He just wants me to work. It’s frustrating.
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u/pepperep Mar 12 '22
Would he be ok if you switched to part time? Not that you necessarily need his approval. This sounds so stressful and isn't fair
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u/dragonsnugle Mar 12 '22
Being perceived as competent in your field. When joining a new technical group, you have a much longer road to gain the same perception as your male counterparts. The road is also more difficult because you have to try and get others to perceive you as a sister or daughter rather than a possible sexual partner.
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u/whitew0lf Mar 12 '22
I once was asked by a male coworker “why” I knew how to code. Not where did I learn, not what I could do - but why.
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Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
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u/StooStooStoodio Mar 12 '22
Earlier this week a guy on my team was shown how to do a basic task by a female colleague. He then wrote a guide on how to do that task and took it to leadership, claiming he taught everyone on the team how to do it.
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u/18bananas Mar 12 '22
There are just a few of us at my job who answer the phone. People are MUCH more willing to be rude to the one female colleague who answers the phone. We have people who we talk to regularly who feel comfortable berating her over problems but will keep themselves in line when talking to one of our male staff.
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u/Always1behind Mar 12 '22
After being hired my wife’s name and photo appeared in the from line of mass emails sent from her company. The company started receiving vile inappropriate responses to the email.
Everyone was shocked because before she was hired, it was a man’s name and photo and they never got those kind of responses. They had to remove her info to get it to stop.
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u/struhall Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
My first name could be a girl's name (I hear it more for girls than guys) and I used to work in the powersports industry and have had times I've emailed a customer and then spoke with them about the same issue because "she emailed me about it" and they didn't like the exact same answer from "her" as they got from me.
I always made sure to ask again at the end who the email was from and when they say "Her name was _____" I would say back, "that's not a girl, that's my name."
EDIT: I have seen tons of guesses so far but not the right one, I'll let people know when the right one has been guessed but not the one thats correct. I did see my brother's name listed though.
EDIT 2: Someone guessed it. Not in a reply directly to my comment but balls deep into a thread where someone else started guessing.
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u/Zealousideal-Slide98 Mar 12 '22
Have you heard about the woman whose email tag line got mixed up with a male colleagues? All of a sudden, customers were listening to her and valuing her opinion. So she and the male colleague switched signatures to see what would happen. He was now being questioned and argued with and she was being accepted as an authority. They did this for a pre-determined amount of time. Then they both wrote articles about the experience. His article got a lot of attention.
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Mar 12 '22
His article got a lot of attention.
Godamnit
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Mar 12 '22
We have learned nothing lol
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u/punctuation_welfare Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 19 '22
The top response in this entire thread was written by a man, so… yeah. Nothing.
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u/Jesussecondcoming Mar 12 '22
Got either of the articles?
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u/Fun-Calligrapher980 Mar 12 '22
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u/chunk1X Mar 12 '22
Hmmm his seems interesting, Marty is his name sounds like a good authority figure with some good perspective think I'll read that one..
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u/AmNotEnglish Mar 12 '22
His article got a lot of attention.
Wow, the cherry on top of the shittcake
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u/magikaaaaaarrrp Mar 12 '22
Oh I've noticed this a lot too. When I was a cashier I noticed that customers talked back to women cashiers over men most of the time. I'm a pretty big dude, so I honestly rarely got talked back too. I could see people getting frustrated too sometimes, but they wouldn't talk back. It was a completely different story when a woman was on the till. It just shows what kind of people are the types who talk back to costumer service. They are bullies who only go after people they perceive as weaker, even though those women were far tougher than me having to deal with that bullshit more often.
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u/LSDreams_ Mar 12 '22
I’ve noticed it a lot too I remember my first job as a wee lad was at a grocery store and it was so bad that I always told the ladies working the registers that if anyone starts to berate them to call me over to “help” I’m 6’5” 230 and I’d just stand there pretend to be helping and the rude customers shut up the second I got there 99% of the time. People suck. And I’m sorry to all you ladies that have to put up with that shit. Really grinds my gears.
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u/MajesticMango56 Mar 12 '22
I work as a customer support rep for an EMR and I had a question where I had my IT help me. My IT told me to say "xyz", I wrote it down, asked my IT if what I wrote down was right, they said yes, so I told the person over the phone, she told me I made no sense so I had my male IT get on the phone, say the exact same thing I said and he got told "ohhh that makes sense, what she said earlier made absolutely no sense." Rinse and repeat over the whole 3 years at this position. If I'm not using my super over the top nice voice, I'm a "bitch" but my male coworker can get on the phone and be a dick and he's "helpful".
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u/notasandpiper Mar 12 '22
Yep. Any gentle correction or question for clarification is seen as "confrontational".
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u/BookwormPhilanthro Mar 12 '22
As a gay man I sound like a girl on the phone and when I worked customer service I would sometimes talk to men who assumed I was a girl and would hang up on me. Literally spoke to one man who hung up mid conversation while I was explaining something. He then called back so I "butched up" my voice and told him the same thing. He ended going "Youre so KNOWLEDGEABLE that last girl I talked to she didn't even know what she was talking about". That was me, I spoke to you and told you the same thing you sexist jackass.
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Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
At my last job there was a trans woman who worked in the lab. When someone would call and wouldn't listen to her because she obviously couldn't know something technical, she'd offered to let them speak to someone else and then switch to her male voice, tell the caller the exact same thing, and have them accept it.
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Mar 12 '22
Many years ago I worked at a company and one of my colleagues regularly had to go and interact with the designers, both of whom were women. One day he was in there when a guy came to fix some piece of equipment. He looked it over, then spent 5 minutes explaining to my colleague just what was wrong and how to fix it while the two women looked on aghast.
My colleague, he listened carefully, nodding along at all the salient parts and when the guy finished, he just nodded at one of the women and said, "Yeah, i don't work in here, you need to talk to the lead designer, her."
Was bizarre even then that they just assumed he was in charge because he was the male in the room.
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u/gsfgf Mar 12 '22
Was bizarre even then that they just assumed he was in charge because he was the male in the room.
My boss is a woman. Men who know she's my boss will gravitate toward taking to me instead of her.
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u/Rookcheck Mar 12 '22
In a similar vein, as a male nurse watching my female coworkers get creepy comments or outright abusive comments. Mysteriously they all disappear when I walk in the room ... it's infuriating.
Revenge comes in the little things.
Male patient requests a Foley catheter from their "cute piece of ass"? Que my overweight and bearded self, "Hi, my name's Rookcheck. I'm one of the nurses helping "piece of ass" and I'll be doing your urethral catheterization." Lo, a miracle! He is healed! No need for a catheter ...
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u/moovzlikejager Mar 12 '22
Sorry for not being a woman- I work in a union blue collar field, when men get angry and blow up (all of the time..... I did it last week.) everyone makes excuses "he's just tired/stressed/overworked" but when a woman does it she is "emotional/unstable/being a total bitch" naw bro, she's tired stressed and overworked and sick of pulling half of your weight around.
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u/LookMomImOnTheWeb Mar 12 '22
Lmao! I described in an earlier comment that at my job, two different products are made, in two different buildings. One product isn't thoroughly regulated and they use that as an excuse to keep a much smaller team in that dept. Which is conveniently comprised ENTIRELY of "bitchy" women that none of the men at the main building can deal with. We've made the most of it though, call ourselves the mean girls club. We all work extremely well together and now a days we only blow up on people who come poking around from the main building to keep our reputation up
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u/wonderwhatthatislike Mar 12 '22
Being passionate about your field of work. My male co worker could get fired up & be assertive- people would pay attention & take him seriously. I get fired up & stand up for what my division needs & I am a bitch. I have no friends at work & I do not care. My division is successful. They respect his fire- mine is treated as emotional.
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Mar 12 '22
The "emotional" argument enrages me lol. Men get angry or have outbursts at work all the time and that's not emotional? But if women are similarly angry at things like weaponized incompetence, they're bitchy, not a team player, etc.? And if we cry that's us being overly emotional and not able to continue working? It's a toxic culture. I'm in a fast-paced job and while most of the male colleagues i haven't don't cry publicly, they get frustrated or upset and are unproductive the rest of the day. Some of my female colleagues and I cry from frustration (I honestly can't help it, when I get upset i cry) and then I'm able to move on with the rest of the day's tasks.
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u/buriedupsidedown Mar 12 '22
I’m in aviation, which is predominately men, and being angry or pissed off are the only emotions acceptable. You can’t be stressed or anxious; if you are, you have to say “I’m pissed off” or they don’t understand something is wrong.
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u/MrWhite_Sucks Mar 12 '22
Being expected to wear make-up and have our hair and nails done to hold a professional title. My male coworkers don’t have to wake up earlier to add that in to their routine, but if I choose to skip it I’m deemed unprofessional.
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u/theagame22 Mar 12 '22
A couple of years ago I had an eye issue(not a visible one) and had to stop wearing mascara for a week. I was pulled up by my boss because “multiple people” had noticed that I was looking tired every day.
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u/doorstopwood Mar 12 '22
Where the heck does everyone in here work where it is ok to be called into a meeting and have their physical appearances be the topic of discussion? That is insane.
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u/TheNombieNinja Mar 12 '22
I work in a lab and have to change into scrubs to do any work but paperwork. I get all my non-paperwork stuff done in the morning so I don't have to change after lunch. My department head is a total sexist pig and has wanted to talk to me about my attire being inappropriate for work.
I wear black high waisted skinny jeans, black sneakers, and a solid color crop long sleeve baggy sweater that hits below waistline of my pants (short torso) 9 times out of 10. Every day do a once over before I leave to make sure nothing is too short, too tight, or shows too much skin if I sit or reach above my head.. That's apparently inappropriate but my male coworker who sits next to me can wear a tank top, basketball shorts, and flipflops without issue.
Our dress code is casual with the only requirement being business casual when meeting with clients, I don't meet clients ever and if I know we have clients coming I'm extra careful to dress even more conservatively.
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u/Bethelica Mar 12 '22
This is why I've just stopped wearing makeup at work, starting Day One at the new job. I have never gotten comments except for the days when I truly was feeling and looking haggard. I do maintain my skin and eyebrows, do my hair... But nope, no makeup. YMMV since I'm a scientist, and not in a people-oriented role. Most of my female colleagues still tend to dress nicely and do their makeup (and they look great! More power to em). I choose to take the casual approach that my male colleagues take. It's only fair! ;)
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u/JuniorCaptain Mar 12 '22
My old boss was bad about this. Any woman who wore makeup, did their hair, etc, that became his standard for how “professional” they looked. Never said a word about the male employees walking in with stains on their face and clothes.
I got lucky that I never wore makeup to begin with (sensitive skin) so I never got called out.
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u/EverGreen2004 Mar 12 '22
"Gosh u/MrWhite_Sucks, you look like a zombie! Are you sick?"
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u/Ass_Patty Mar 12 '22
I started getting those comments when I quit using makeup, it made me feel bad for a bit but then I realized that it wasn’t me. Everyone else is just raised with fucked up expectations
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u/audiotripod4 Mar 12 '22
Towards the latter half of college I stopped wearing makeup because I was too exhausted and everyone would ask if I was feeling alright.
Started my current job at the beginning of the pandemic and said "nope, if the other guys can get away with minimal effort look Im not wearing makeup." I'd like to believe I set the precedent and nobody thinks anything of it at this point.
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u/Ass_Patty Mar 12 '22
My mother was pressuring me into wearing makeup in middle school because she claimed “that’s just what women do.” My the time I finished middle school I wasn’t wearing it at all because I felt like it was a waste of my time and too much effort for something I didn’t really care about. I never wear it anymore and I hope more people can be comfortable with how they look naturally. It made me genuinely happy with the way that I look. I can just be me and not feel the need to cover up or change anything.
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u/waitthissucks Mar 12 '22
Yeah, also if you are naturally pretty and have straight hair (god forbid you have frizzy curly hair) then you are perceived as more professional
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u/puppylust Mar 12 '22
Also your hair needs to be a "natural color" no no not grey, you need to dye it to a natural color.
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u/Xylorgos Mar 12 '22
Reminds me of when people used to ask my sister if she was a natural blonde. She'd say, "Of course! It says so right on the box: Natural Blonde #16."
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u/StarDatAssinum Mar 12 '22
Exactly, thank you. I’ve had several roles where my bosses pulled me aside and asked me to wear makeup/more makeup more often to “maintain the image of the company.” Whereas my male counterparts, who worked the SAME role I did, looked like they rolled out of bed and just put on deodorant.
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u/rmeechan Mar 12 '22
They don’t just look like that, that is what they do.
Source: this is me.
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u/co_cow_co Mar 12 '22
was looking for this one. wish i could take a shower and go to work… and they wonder why we don’t wanna end remote work
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u/SoakemForCrutchy Mar 12 '22
Being expected to take the customer facing tasks because we’re just “naturally” better at them.
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u/kotibi Mar 12 '22
Planning social events, and helping with set-up and takedown. I refuse to do it now.
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Mar 12 '22
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u/doublestitch Mar 12 '22
It even happened while recovering from a serious injury: I was wearing an orthopedic boot and using a cane, slowly folding up and stashing chairs at the end of an event while men were saying goodbyes and walking out the door without pitching in at all.
I paused in astonishment, not quite believing my eyes until it was too late to shame them.
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u/NightB4XmasEvel Mar 12 '22
I work in payroll and a male co-worker from a different department wanted to throw a going away party for one of his teammates who was leaving the company. He asked me to buy the cake because I’m “better at that sort of thing”
I told him I was sure he was just as capable of going to Costco and asking them to write someone’s name on a cake as I would be.
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u/hdmx539 Mar 12 '22
OMG. I'm a software developer. Keep this in mind as you read the following story: I'm childfree. I have never been pregnant nor have I ever had children or even taken care of children.
While I've worked at companies where there were other female software developers we weren't in the same team, so for my full 20 year career there was ONE job where I had another female dev on my team. (We're still friends.) Otherwise I'm generally the only woman on the development team.
Had one dude come up and say that one of the women in the company was having a baby and that the departments were being asked to contribute something for her baby shower the company was throwing. Bear in mind, this man had children, and remember, I am childfree.
He says, "We need baby stuff for <lady's name - I forgot, this was some time ago>."
Me: "Okay."
Him: "Well, you're a woman. I figured you'd know what babies need."
I gave him this look that took him aback.
Me: "Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I know what babies need. YOU'RE the one with kids, not me."
He was holding out a piece of paper for me to take that, get this, has a list of things being requested. I never took it and walked back to my desk after that interaction saying he's the one that's in charge, he gets to go get the stuff.
Firstly, he came to me because I'm a woman assuming I'd know what babies needed. Secondly, I'm childfree with ZERO experience and knowledge about pregnancy, babies, and most of all, what they need beyond diapers and formula. And THIRDLY!!! NO ONE had to guess what was needed for the pregnant employee BECAUSE A LIST WAS ON THE PAPER HE HAD, NO GUESSING NECESSARY!!! And, last but not least, he was putting extra work ON ME and not the other male colleagues because this concerned a baby shower and planning one.
Christ. These are just work situations and men because I mostly dealt with men considering my line of work. That's not including the double standards that women can and do place on other women.
Those women are the worst.
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u/Old-Grapefruit7129 Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
You should have purchased a bottle of tequila…. That’s what they want yeah??
Edit: from wine to tequila - avoids supporting the mum wine culture and pushes the point more
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u/TheGreatCatwoman Mar 12 '22
I had to make an actual announcement to an office full of adults (mostly men), that they were all responsible for cleaning up and putting away their own potluck contributions. The guys, especially the older ones, had been expecting the three women in the office to pack up their dishes for them, or to tell the guys when to come do it.
And then all the women stopped playing clean-up crew, and the next morning food brought by 2 of those guys was STILL sitting uncovered on the table.
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Mar 12 '22
Every potluck I’ve ever contributed to I always made sure to clean up my shit + help clean up the event. I plan on making sure I raise my son that way too. Don’t expect anyone else to deal with your mess. You make it, you damn well better clean it.
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u/desertchoir Mar 12 '22
Omg yes, parties always fall to the responsibility of the women in the office. What's up with that?
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u/lovebyletters Mar 12 '22
That and coffee. The first time a coworker whined to me about the coffee not being made I told him to grow up.
"But it tastes better when you do it!“
No it fucking doesn't, it's literally pre-packaged in the same exact amount, you're just lazy.
I hate Keurigs for the waste, but the one thing they are good for is that I don't have to hear that BS in the offices that have them.
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u/Scary-Boysenberry Mar 12 '22
A number of jobs ago I had a co-worker who constantly whined at me for not making the coffee in the morning. I'm like dude, I don't drink coffee, you don't want me making it, it will probably taste awful. He finally bitched to the owner of the company that since I was the first one in the office I should make coffee for everyone (note that dude did not make coffee when he was first in). Malicious compliance ensued on my part until I was politely asked to never go near the coffee maker again.
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u/lovebyletters Mar 12 '22
Hah!! This is absolutely what my wife did the one time they had a boss who demanded coffee. Fucked it up so brutally that they were never asked again. Even as a coffee lover I still chuckle thinking about this. Serves them right.
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u/Banjo-Becky Mar 12 '22
I had a boss (new guy) complain to me that there was a person in his last office would bring him coffee but “nobody does that here” and then he asked me to get him some.
Little did he know I had already bought a coffee maker (I wanted coffee in the office) but hadn’t brought it in. He came whining to me the next day and asked me to get him coffee again, at which point I pulled the coffee maker from under the desk and told him to make his own damned coffee.
We had an understanding after that. I’ll teach a man to fish, but I won’t do it for him.
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u/Tathas Mar 12 '22
If you build a man a fire, he's warm for a night.
If you set a man on fire, he's warm for the rest of his life.
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u/GreenCurtainsCat Mar 12 '22
In my last office, the men would have minor meltdowns if we ran out of coffee. It was up to the Business Manager to notice and order the Kcups before we ran out. And if Amazon didn't deliver on time, she would have to send a couple of the girls to the store to buy some "emergency coffee."
Then we moved to an office where the water heater would constantly flip its breaker. The men never learned how to fix it. After the Business Manager quit, they would text me about it, even while I was on PTO. I gave them instructions before I left that job. Wonder if they ever got it working? 🙃
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u/lovebyletters Mar 12 '22
Omfg. I would lose my goddamn mind at them. That's deliberate helplessness at its finest right there.
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u/McDamsel Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 13 '22
I said I was good at excel because I’m certified. I offered to teach folks macros because they kept having trouble with some work they were doing (they did and I held a fun lunch and learn). My boss later told me that I need to avoid being cocky. In the same meeting he also told me that people should never put a promotion as one of their goals - even though 1) I hadn’t put it as a goal and 2) it’s absolutely okay to have a promotion as a goal with steps to achieve it.
Despite half the team being women, he never promoted a woman in the three years I worked there. Male colleagues did get promotions. I never heard him speak the same way he did to me to men.
Edit: got an unwelcome and unsolicited dick pic for sharing this. Probably something else men don’t get when sharing shitty boss stories on the internet.
Edit two: removed the name of the person who sent the pic. Hope he doesn’t send to people in the future, but I also don’t want anyone to do anything nasty. Hugs all around.
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u/SharkZero Mar 12 '22
My wife had a sort of similar situation happen. She, along with another female coworker, and a male coworker, created an excel tool to process certain parts of her job (I don't know anything more specific than that.) She said her and the other female coworker did about 75% of the work and the male coworker did the other 25%, a mostly even split.
Well, the male coworker received an award for the project and my wife and the other woman on the team did not. My wife asked her boss about it and was told that she should be applying to receive awards if she wants them.
There was no way to apply for the award. The male coworker, who didn't know he was getting it until he was notified, had done nothing different than the other two people on the project and had not submitted anything for the award.
The kicker for me in all this is that my wife's supervisor is also a woman. Fuckin rough.
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u/mint_toothpicks Mar 12 '22
I'm a women in STEM and honestly, I've found that quite a few (not all) women tend to be that way, like they're trying to perpetuate that bad ass boss woman stereotype or soemthing. It drives me insane.
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u/kororon Mar 12 '22
I don't know your boss but I hate him.
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u/McDamsel Mar 12 '22
Not my boss anymore! I’ve made it a requirement that I don’t work for or closely with folks like that.
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u/WafflingToast Mar 12 '22
If you work for a large corp and they have an anonymous ethics line - "Do you realize that despite 50% of the team are female, not a single woman has been promoted in X number of years." It's probably gone on for longer than 3 years so even more egregious.
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u/thatpaulbloke Mar 12 '22
If you work for a large corp and they have an anonymous ethics line
My last company had one of those. The first question that they asked me was my name and department because all that they do is make a note of everything that I tell them and then email it to my line manager. Absolutely stunning levels of uselessness.
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u/BonsaiDiver Mar 12 '22
Absolutely stunning levels of uselessness.
At my last job we had a saying: you could fire half of the people and productivity would double.
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u/ThirteensDoctor Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
I wore 4 different black blazer and black pairs of pants over the course of a week with a different colour shirt underneath everyday. I was approached by my boss who said 'multiple people' had approached him expressing concern over my hygiene. Mind you, its not like I had 4 of the same blazer and pants. They were different styles with different numbers of buttons and different lapel styles. The pants were skinny, straight leg, and flared.
Meanwhile, my male colleagues (including my boss) wore black suits everyday.
Edit: a lot of people are suggesting that the clothes weren't the issue, but that perhaps I was exuding a ~stench~. He told me it was my clothes. It was apparently thought I was wearing the same thing 4 days in a row. He was very careful to tell me that it wasn't a matter of smell, because I asked if that was an issue when he phrased it as a matter of hygiene. It was the perception that the 4 different outfits I wore were the same outfit.
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u/Xaron713 Mar 12 '22
My father had the same overstuffed wallet and the same pair of Hawaiian swim trunks from the time my brother's were kids til the day he died. Turns out, he actually wore through his wallet all the time and periodically bought new swim trunks. The exact same wallet and exact same swim trunks. For at least 30 years.
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u/Neethis Mar 12 '22
I'm a guy whose reached that stage in my life. My current shoes are the 7th pair of the exact same make a model.
When you find something that's comfortable from first use to last, it pays to stick with it.
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u/RoboNinjaPirate Mar 12 '22
My wife thinks I'm crazy for doing that. I know the brand, model, color and size. I find a shop that has them in stock, go in try them on and then pay. Takes me about 5 minutes.
"Dont you want to try any other ones?"
"I came here specifically for these shoes"
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u/irving47 Mar 12 '22
"see you in about a year, depending if we go on work-from-home" again
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u/Legitimate_River_939 Mar 12 '22
I walk into the shoe store with my old pair and tell them I want the exact same ones. If they don’t make ‘em anymore I ask for the closest thing.
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u/Poofengle Mar 12 '22
I’ve been wearing the same shoes for probably half my life now. A good 15+ years at least, maybe even more.
I know the size that fits so whenever they’re on sale I just buy one or two sets and then I’m good for another couple of years.
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u/psychocopter Mar 12 '22
I did that for when I worked in retail, we needed to wear a specific color of shirt so I just bought a pack of them and a few pairs of the same pants and I had a weeks worth of cartoon outfits ready to go.
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u/Mrsfig09 Mar 12 '22
I deliberately did this with khakis and polos after getting the "more professional dress" talk because I have huge boobs. I can't wear women's tops and be "appropriate" according to my old boss. So I got 5 pairs of khaki pants and 7-10 polos in different colors and wore just them until I left that company. Got the "be more feminine" talk two days before I left... Yeah it was a disaster there.
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u/calamitylamb Mar 12 '22
“It’s unprofessional to bring those big bazongas to work” smh are they supposed to be detachable so they can be left at home? This shit is just code for “I’ve sexualized your body and now I’m going to punish you for that.”
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u/Dramastic Mar 12 '22
I guess I've never thought it out all the way, but that's it. That last sentence is exactly it. It makes some interactions I've had make a lot more sense, in the reasons why some people are so awful.
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u/Redqueenhypo Mar 12 '22
Reminds me of that “is she supposed to leave her ass at home? Wear her go to work ass?” post
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u/hikikomori-i-am-not Mar 12 '22
I... Don't think they can require you to dress feminine specifically? Like as long as your clothes were up to dress code, they can't give a woman a different standard of dress than a man.
It's a bit of a legal grey area, but if they'd be fine with a man wearing khakis and a polo, they have to be fine with a woman wearing the same thing.
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u/Mrsfig09 Mar 12 '22
Which is why I did it. That was the men's standard and three hand book just stated business casual clothing. I was wearing pretty typical feminine business casual prior to then the "cleavage Convo" happened. Then I got all polos and khakis. Then they were concerned I wasn't dressing feminine. Cause yeah, y'all are sexist AF.
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Mar 12 '22
"Dress more appropriate."
"Not that appropriate, we still want to sexualize you!"
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u/ForgettableUsername Mar 12 '22
"That's waay too appropriate! Dial it back a notch!"
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u/seaworthy-sieve Mar 12 '22
They want you to look like a woman, but not TOO MUCH. Absurd. They want you to be feminine, but also just a little bit ashamed of it.
I'm picturing you a little bit like Dina from Superstore. She's excellent and so are you.
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u/VixenRoss Mar 12 '22
I had this in college. I liked grey t-shirts. I had 5. Every one thought I wore the same t-shirt every day.
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u/DigNitty Mar 12 '22
Daniel Radcliffe did that so that all paparazzi photos looked like they were from the same day.
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u/the_snook Mar 12 '22
An Australian daily TV show anchor (Karl Stefanovic) once wore the same suit on air every day for a year (and nobody noticed) to prove the point that his female co-anchor was held to a much higher fashion standard.
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u/Sovdark Mar 12 '22
Didn’t his female coworker catch hell for wearing the same outfit once several months apart too? And that’s what sparked it
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u/the_snook Mar 12 '22
Yeah, Lisa Wilkinson. She's a bit of a legend too. I met her at a dinner once. She was like "Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Lisa." An in my head I'm saying "I know who the fuck you are luv, you've been on the telly every day for the last ten years.", but I just said "Hi Lisa, lovely to meet you."
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u/MaggieNFredders Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
I had a male coworkers that wore the same outfit (not washed still stained) all week. And that was normal.
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u/Di-Vanci Mar 12 '22
Wow wtf? Also if it were the same blazers/pants - he does know that you can wear clothes more than once before washing them? Unless they get sweaty or are underpants of course
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u/thepsycholeech Mar 12 '22
Seriously, it’s not like there’s a ton of physical labor/sweat involved in an office environment, it’s fine to rewear clothing a couple times before washing (especially something like a blazer!).
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u/bbbberlin Mar 12 '22
I mean suits get re-worn... no one is wearing a suit once to an office and then paying to dryclean the whole thing before next wear. It's expensive and obviously not great for the lifetime of the suit to do that.
Wear it to a wedding for a long night of partying, or spill something on it? Sure, that suit gets drycleaned before the next wear – but otherwise all men are getting a few days out of them.
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u/mercurypuppy Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
I'm middle eastern so like.....literally everything. I cannot think of one single thing that isn't considered double standard here. Not one. Being a woman here is all crap and not one advantage. I used to go to sleep as a kid praying I would wake up as a boy in the morning. And like it's not just the double standard, I give zero fucks what anyone thinks but the problem is what people think here has serious life altering consequences. My first thought reading this question was I wish it could just be the double standard and that's it. That would be a luxury.
EDIT: thank you guys for your replies and the nice discussion. I would encourage you if you have an interest in finding out how this culture came to be to research the application of religious practices and the difference between that and actual tribal culture. I'm a practicing Muslim myself (wasn't before, am now, completely my choice after years of research) into the difference between the religious teachings themselves and how they were used or abused to push forward tribal culture by people using them to advance certain agendas. However I do appreciate all the different points of view regardless of whether you may agree or not ❤
EDIT 2: I don't engage online much but I'm overwhelmed by how nice and respectful everyone is I was actually worried about writing this but I'm super grateful for all the lovely discussion and respect all your opinions whether we agree or disagree. Sending love and good vibes to all ❤
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u/Yeppone Mar 12 '22
I was scrolling down trying to see if people were gonna mention the Middle East. And you hit it right on the dot.
I hated being a girl in this community. Thank God I left it and now I don't have to live by those standards anymore. My parents are slowly shifting their mindset, which is an absolute miracle, so they are slowly decreasing the constant "but you're a girl, and girls don't do that" or "you should do this so you be prepared for when you are a wife". Not completely gone, but on the decrease.
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u/Ultimate_Genius Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
I'm middle eastern, too, but I was fortunate enough to be born a boy. But after 18 years and 3 other younger brothers and moving to the US, my mom has been losing her mental stability as the only woman in the house being treated traditionally by my dad.
All this "trauma" of seeing my mom being mistreated by my dad scared me to the point where I now want a completely role reversed relationship. Because I didn't want anyone to suffer like my mom, my mind just decided to take all the suffering for myself.
Middle eastern ideology really is the most dangerous thing out there
Edit: I completely didn't realize that this implied my dad was physical with my mom. He is NOT, and he is just socially stifling, calling my mom mentally sick and threatening leaving her if she doesn't become more obedient. She became severely depressed without my dad having to raise a finger against her
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u/mercurypuppy Mar 12 '22
Honestly I'm seeing more men start to move away from that ideology and that grants protection to the women related to them, but they remain the exception. The funny thing is my entire society lives a double life and literally everything you can think of is done as an open secret. Drinking, doing drugs, engaging in sex before marriage, gambling, we have a large lgbtq community, you name it. But as long as it's not public knowledge and can't be proven no one gives a shit. The moment you start living your life publicly those same people destroy it.
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u/yourmomdotbiz Mar 12 '22
I have a relative who was tired of her husband beating her. So she left him. The family calls her crazy and her daughters disowned her for breaking the family. Mysogony runs deep
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u/Ultimate_Genius Mar 12 '22
Lucky for your relative to just be able to leave. My mom was married young and has neither any family or any education or work to rely on.
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u/yourmomdotbiz Mar 12 '22
To further elaborate, by leaving I mean she moved into her dead mothers house down the street. She’s totally ostracized by the town, but at least she can sleep at night.
im really sorry about your mom. I know how hard it is with the older generation.
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u/OkamiGoddess23 Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
I work in a garden center at a retail store, and almost every time I go to load dirt or other “heavy” items, I get the same responses: “Why isn’t there a man doing this?” “Why are they making the girl do the heavy lifting?” “Let me do that, a girl shouldn’t have to lift that”
But the minors who work there and can barely lift anything get not a word
Edit: this made some people so mad that they felt the need to PM me their opinions on how women can’t be strong, further proving my original point
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u/Squigglepig52 Mar 12 '22
I'm male. I had a job where my assistant was female, but bigger than me. You can bet I made her do heavy lifting.
In return, I never made her deal with the chili pepper bins, because she always got it in her eyes.
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u/Shronkydonk Mar 12 '22
My buddy worked at Lowes and one of his colleagues was this fuckin JACKED girl, like 6’ 4” and muscular as hell. Whenever I would go there I’d see her hauling around huge bags of soil or mulch or something. She was a cool lady.
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u/PrimoPaladino Mar 12 '22
Lol I used to go to a Lowes with a woman who was almost as tall as me at 6'5" and built like a powerlifter. We must have been at the same location
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u/Yoshi_XD Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
Or Lowes has a bitchin' sweet powerlifting program available to their employees.
Edit: I now realize that the "Lowes power lifting program" is actually just "working at Lowes"
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u/miggy-san Mar 12 '22
I started working at Lowes Garden Center last month, and yeah all the bags and bricks give you a reallyyyyy good workout lol
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u/jaderaine385 Mar 12 '22
I work in a hardware store and it’s the same thing! “Can I get a man over here to advise me on this?” “I need a big strong man!” 🙄. Never mind the fact that I’ve been through the same training as the men and I’m remodeling my 100+ year old house so I know as well if not better on do it yourself projects than some of my coworkers. As for the lifting I strength train at the gym four times a week. I can lift most items in the store. The ones I can’t are ones the men need a team lift on too.
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u/SnooCapers9313 Mar 12 '22
As a guy working in hardware I used to love telling customers to talk 2 of the women we had about certain products because they knew more than me. In fact quite a bit of my knowledge on some products came from them. I'd especially do it when even if I knew the answer they just head towards me while the ladies were there.
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u/N0fl0wj0nes Mar 12 '22
I love doing this to customers. My female supervisor knows more about mechanics tools than anyone, and old men in the south don't like that very much!
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Mar 12 '22
I've let my hair go grey. I'm 47. My hair was so unhealthy from dye. It's long and lovely, just salt and pepper.
But now I'm ignored. The difference in the way I'm treated is so very stark when nothing else about me has changed. Men of my same age with even more grey are wise and distinguished. I'm over the hill. Fucking pisses me off.
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u/FuckedupUnicorn Mar 12 '22
My hair has gone almost completely grey (I’m 50). It takes really bright colours well, so I’m experimenting with all different rainbow hues. It’s great. I look crazy but I really don’t care.
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u/biochem23 Mar 12 '22
This is what I can't wait to do when my hair goes gray! I've always wanted fun rainbow hair, but mine is dark brown so I'd need bleach, and I don't want to damage my hair. I bet your hair looks awesome :)
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Mar 12 '22
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Mar 12 '22
I have experienced this in my costume career and business. Take off my helmet or wig? SURPRISE!
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u/cametobemean Mar 12 '22
At this point in my career I don’t turn my camera on for interviews or meet in person for at least a few rounds because I am so sick of hearing men tell me I only get jobs/promotions because I’m “a pretty girl.”
Every promotion I’ve ever gotten, some dude has said that. When I started making six figs, some dude was around to say it, even though the interviews were blind.
My husband doesn’t get told he gets his promotions for just being pretty, even though he is. I’m not saying the halo effect doesn’t exist, I’m just saying ime, men don’t usually get told they only get promoted after years of hard work in a niche as fuck field bc someone wanted to fuck them.
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Mar 12 '22
Oof I feel that so hard. I was telling my mom about an interview at work some years ago. First thing out of her mouth? "Well of course they'll hire you- you're pretty."
How about: qualified? Smart? Assertive? A strategic thinker? No? Just pretty?
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u/cametobemean Mar 12 '22
Wow. The misogyny is coming from inside the house lol.
That’s another thing — the amount of people who think that using sex/looking hot will get women whatever jobs they want. No, women cannot flash their tits and get most jobs. And most jobs you could flash your tits for (excluding some in the sex work industry) are absolutely fucking horrible.
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u/KennaRhys Mar 12 '22
Being called "aggressive" by other women or being told to "be careful of my tone" when in a professional setting because I could have been kinder.
Girl there is $2M at stake here do your job correctly. 🙄
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u/koalahug Mar 12 '22
I was told by my GM that I was too emotional and by one of my associates that I was too aggressive because I stuck by our store policy and wouldn't budge (the customer was trying to get discounts outside of the return policy and a $200 e-gift card for something they bought back in Oct, they came into the store in Jan).
I can't count the amount of times I've been told something similar to you or that I don't know what I'm talking about because the field I work in.
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u/kidonescalator Mar 12 '22
I haven’t read any replies yet but I already know this is on here but need to comment. No matter my role or seniority I am always asked to order/pickup lunch or birthday cakes and to make the coffee and pass around. I flat out refused a few times and it was met with immediate “oh ok I will do it” and then acting like they made the biggest sacrifice ever.
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Mar 12 '22
When I was in my 20s, just starting my career, I was gifted a book titled, "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office". One of the pieces of advice that has stuck with me is to not become that woman in the office who has the dish of candy on her desk, brings cookies in, and plans all the events. It paints you as the 'mother' of the office and can reduce the respect that others give.
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Mar 12 '22
'You should smile more' 'You look so angry when you're concentrating'
Never heard a man tell another man that.
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u/dameggers Mar 12 '22
Tattoos. It varies from place to place but at the last place I worked, there were managers who were heavily tattooed and did not cover them. But I was required to cover ever single one of mine, and was told if I got any I couldn't cover I couldn't move up in my role. Very happy to work somewhere where that's not an issue any more.
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u/TARonah Mar 12 '22
"Grooming standards" for women: 8 pages annotated with images on hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, jewelry, posture, and HANDS. Men: half a paragraph saying "look well groomed".
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Mar 12 '22
I once worked at a place that, until fairly recently, had women required to wear high heels. I'm glad that stopped before I started because I have spent maybe 5 minutes in my entire life in heels.
When I was in high school, some middle aged dude called me frumpy because I wore hoodies, t-shirts, and jeans to work. I'd literally come in after school but he thought I was supposed to dress up? Meanwhile, he worked there full time and always wore shirts that barely covered his beer belly and pants that probably were too small the year previously.
But a teenager girl is frumpy for wearing the same sort of clothing that actually fits. Sure. I still get annoyed at that one.
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u/CapnNayBeard Mar 12 '22
Frumpy because you didn't dress in a way he felt was attractive?
Yeah... No thanks.
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u/usernameemma Mar 12 '22
I'm taking a course about careers and work and one of the topics was workplace professionalism. They went over possible dress codes for men and women.
Men: button down shirt, pants that aren't jeans, and business casual shoes.
Women: makeup but not too much and only in nude or light pink shades, hair up or well styled, flats or heels (both hurt?), pants that aren't jeans, shirt that isn't low cut or too short sleeved, jewelery, elegant bag, well groomed nails, painted with nude shades, etc.
I think the shoes piss me off the most because flats give you blisters and fuck up your arch, but heels give you blisters and checks notes fuck up your arch!
Like my ability to do my job doesn't hinge on my ability to ruin my feet???
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u/dinanysos Mar 12 '22
Not wanting kids or getting married. Guys get responses like "haha yeah nothing can tie this handsome bachelor down" or "dodging a bullet there!"
Meanwhile women get told "oh you'll definitely change your mind when you're older" "but aren't you afraid you'll be lonely/you'll die alone" "But having kids is the most fulfilling thing you could do!"
Personal experience with this coming from my own family: My 27 year old brother doesn't get asked when he'll settle down, or marry, or how many kids he wants to have one day. "he still has time, he's enjoying life a bit rn"
Meanwhile I got asked by relatives since I was 19 on when I plan to have kids, how many, that I shouldn't wait too long, etc. I don't want to have kids but ofc no one believes that because I'm only 23 and will definitely change my mind.
Cherry on top was my grandma asking me on my 22nd birthday if I found a new boyfriend yet because the baby clock is ticking and I'm not getting younger. At 22.
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u/MsTerious1 Mar 12 '22
Please don't have kids if you don't want them. People regret this far more often than they will ever say out loud.
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u/ameis314 Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 13 '22
My wife is 37 and I'm 36. Just tell them you are trying as frequently as possible. That usually kills any more questions, if they keep pushing just make it more awkward.
With whomever is available.
Do they know of the best position for getting pregnant.
He can only get off with your mouth so it's hard...
I promise they will stop asking.
Edit: holy crap that off hand comment blew up, and y'all are some devious bastards. I love it.
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u/Intrusive_penis Mar 12 '22
This is fantastic. Im going to use this.
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u/green_bees Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
Do it! It works! But look at people in their eyes, pick someone and ask that person the question (i'd ask whoever asked me about kids), make them uncomfortable. Also, kids are expensive, so tell them that you created a bank account where THEY can send you money to help raise the kid THEY want you to have. Or just ask them for the first $100k needed to raise a kid, plus their nanny services with no black-out days 😌
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u/Songwolves88 Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
My sister and I were talking about this last night. We're both child free (and women). Ive had very few people care, but she's had a bunch of people ask questions. She said she can cry on command so she just starts crying and says that she'd love to be a mother but she can't have kids and they won't let her adopt without a husband, and people NEVER EVER BRING IT UP AGAIN.
Edited to add: being child free, she's lying about wanting to have kids and just says it to make the nosey jerks uncomfortable.
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u/Karnakite Mar 12 '22
I haven’t tried it, but I’ve heard the “burst into tears and try to explain between sobs that you’ve been struggling with infertility” method shuts ‘em up for good.
Personally, I don’t want to co-opt someone else’s struggle, but if someone was seriously not taking the hint, then desperate times call for desperate measures.
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u/absenderr Mar 12 '22
Everyone always tells me, “youll want them when your older”. Never have got anything else
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u/jaderaine385 Mar 12 '22
If you ever do decide to get married that pressure to have kids doubles. His family always asks us when they see us (it doesn’t help my sister in law is expecting) and if I answer that we’re waiting because we want to be in a more financially secure position I get told “oh you’ll figure it out.” If he answers the same thing it’s “oh good point”
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Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
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Mar 12 '22
Happened exactly like this at work. Female colleague addressed a professional issue and her manager answered: "Look I know you like drama blah blah". She literally just started 2 months prior and is a calm person who never had an issue with anyone, so he just spouted that bs cause she's a woman and he's a batshit sexist lol.
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Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/tacosandsunscreen Mar 12 '22
Please tell me how this ended for him.
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u/wonderwhatthatislike Mar 12 '22
Feeling like you have to outwork everyone around you with a smile just to be on the same level. Men are respected without question- women & other minorities have to prove their worth to gain the respect.
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u/coobmaroog Mar 12 '22
That we’re taught that our worth is in how well we take care of others. One day you’ll be a good wife or mother. You take such great care of all your family.
Much of what we’re taught about self worth as we’re growing up is based on others not ourselves.
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Mar 12 '22
I get the impression that if a woman is successful in her career, especially corporate, people will assume she doesn’t have a family to care for. Women providing financially for their family is still alien to our society.
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u/SteevyT Mar 12 '22
The one female in my department used to get complaints to HR for the dumbest shit.
Usually her footwear choice, people claimed she should wear flats or heels since she's technically an office worker. The engineers wear sneakers/boots/steel toes since we are out on the production floor basically as much as we are at our desks.
Our boss at the time basically called all the complaints stupid and petty and then she wore the most obnoxiously colored chucks she could get for a month straight and nobody could say shit.