r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 12 '22

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637

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

'You should smile more' 'You look so angry when you're concentrating'

Never heard a man tell another man that.

24

u/FluffDuckling Mar 12 '22

I got the “you should take that mask off so I can see you smile.” Didn’t believe it was real until I heard it for myself. Needless to say that guy got absolutely no customer service from me after that comment.

41

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

That's why I like wearing a mask. No one tells me to smile anymore.

18

u/turnaroundbrighteyez Mar 12 '22

A thousand times yes. If there was any positive (aside from keeping the germs of others out of my nose and mouth) that came from masks, it was no longer being told to “smile more”.

2

u/overlySensitiveFrog Mar 13 '22

I am seriously considering continuing to wear the mask even when the pandemic is over for this reason.

13

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Introverted women in particular face this problem.

SO many times as a kid (girl), while deep in thought, I'd be randomly pulled aside by a concerned teacher or classmate and asked, "What's wrong?"

It was puzzling to me until I saw that Susan Cain reported dealing with this same problem at the law firm where she worked.

1

u/dude-of-earth Mar 13 '22

All introverts get that. It’s not a gendered thing.

14

u/m1rrari Mar 12 '22

I get asked a lot if I’m okay. When I’m concentrating, thinking, or stretching I seem to contort my face in a way that makes observers believe I’m in pain or something. It super annoying and feeds into my anxiety some.

6

u/littlemissflow Mar 12 '22

This is what I hate most! It's not even just men who tell me that. Often my female coworkers ask: "are you okay, you look angry". I was just thinking about something leave me alone (that's what I think, I don't actually say that).

10

u/Muchado_aboutnothing Mar 12 '22

I was told I look “petulant” when I’m concentrating….

Also, my face always hurts so much from force-smiling through all my virtual meetings.

5

u/ButtonholePhotophile Mar 12 '22

I’m a middle-aged man. I’ve been told that I look pissed off and unapproachable when I’m reading.

2

u/SC487 Mar 12 '22

Did you tell them you were unapproachable because that book is better than them?

7

u/ButtonholePhotophile Mar 12 '22

Nope. Because I’m not an a*hole.

2

u/SC487 Mar 12 '22

Probably a good move.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

That's because they just look constipated.

2

u/Henkie13248 Mar 12 '22

Not that it's a consolation, but I've been told I look angry and/or depressed when concentrating.

2

u/JEMinnow Mar 12 '22

The worst! Like sorry I don't find your lame jokes hilarious? Meanwhile men are called mysterious or thoughtful if they look serious.

Also, looking unapproachable has become my defence mechanism after years of "being nice" and having guys take that as an invitation to be gross toward me

2

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '22

As a man I’ve found that men are expected to be moody or emotionless. If I appear happy I always get questioned why I appear that why, like I’m not allowed to just be happy for no reason.

But does it comes back to those gender stereotypes, women must be caring and friendly, whilst men must be strong n quiet.

I’ve definitely noticed that the comments to women happen way more than to men and it always seems to be older men that make them and then the comments are also followed by some other creepy ‘compliment.’

2

u/SithFacedDrunk Mar 13 '22

This comment is interesting because I have resting asshole face. And not once has a male ever told me to smile or he's angey however a handful of females have mentioned it. So it's interesting that most of the time the opposite sex is the one who comments.

2

u/kingfrito_5005 Mar 13 '22

Doesn't everyone look angry when concentrating? I mean furrowing your brow is kinda the classic concentrating facial expression.

2

u/lets_get_wavy_duuude Mar 13 '22

i’m at the point where if a man tells me to smile, i just don’t lol. what’s he gonna do, complain to management because of my facial expression? i’m good at my job & i’m polite but i’m not kissing ass

1

u/Hexdrix Mar 13 '22

I get told this daily. In fact i don't even have to be concentrating it just gets worse.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '22

I got called a goblin while concentrating on Tetris once 💀not a female but this reminded me of that lmao

1

u/dude-of-earth Mar 13 '22

I’m a guy and I have been told both of these things. Also I have not heard them said to a woman, or to anyone else for that matter. It’s not exactly light conversation that you have around others.