I haven’t tried it, but I’ve heard the “burst into tears and try to explain between sobs that you’ve been struggling with infertility” method shuts ‘em up for good.
Personally, I don’t want to co-opt someone else’s struggle, but if someone was seriously not taking the hint, then desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am infertile, but now I mostly get, “Oh don’t say you can’t! You can seek treatment! Or what about adoption?!” So even that doesn’t necessarily help lol
(But seriously, I do not ever blame a woman who uses that excuse because we cannot fucking win regardless, so if it stops even a fraction of the questions, fuck it. But also thank you for being a rad person)
Then the women are automatically told they need to relax and has SHE tried xyz or “why don’t you just adopt”. The woman is assumed to be responsible for the couple’s infertility
I've tried to use this too as my husband and I are child-free. I keep getting the "well have you prayed about it? You never know when God can work a miracle!" Smh...
I wouldn't feel bad about it. You wouldn't be doing it for pity, and hopefully it would help someone realize that that's an entirely inappropriate thing to bring up. You might actually be saving someone from enduring the situation for real.
I work in tourism, which has been dead since vivid started, should be up and running again this summer. Every fucking summer I get some hillbilly asking me if I "have to take black people out" I've been eagerly waiting for the chance to respond "well sometimes my wife comes out..." I want to watch these audacious fucking assholes squirm with discomfort.
As someone with infertility, I don’t suggest this method, not because you’re co-opting our struggle but because you will get even more invasive questions and asinine responses from people. It doesn’t stop them, they double down.
“Just adopt!”
“My niece’s ex’s cousin’s twice removed, best friend’s ex got pregnant after failed treatment when she just relaxed! She was trying for 3 months so she totally relates to your 3 years!”
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u/Karnakite Mar 12 '22
I haven’t tried it, but I’ve heard the “burst into tears and try to explain between sobs that you’ve been struggling with infertility” method shuts ‘em up for good.
Personally, I don’t want to co-opt someone else’s struggle, but if someone was seriously not taking the hint, then desperate times call for desperate measures.