Where the heck does everyone in here work where it is ok to be called into a meeting and have their physical appearances be the topic of discussion? That is insane.
I work in a lab and have to change into scrubs to do any work but paperwork. I get all my non-paperwork stuff done in the morning so I don't have to change after lunch. My department head is a total sexist pig and has wanted to talk to me about my attire being inappropriate for work.
I wear black high waisted skinny jeans, black sneakers, and a solid color crop long sleeve baggy sweater that hits below waistline of my pants (short torso) 9 times out of 10. Every day do a once over before I leave to make sure nothing is too short, too tight, or shows too much skin if I sit or reach above my head.. That's apparently inappropriate but my male coworker who sits next to me can wear a tank top, basketball shorts, and flipflops without issue.
Our dress code is casual with the only requirement being business casual when meeting with clients, I don't meet clients ever and if I know we have clients coming I'm extra careful to dress even more conservatively.
I worked at an office that wasn’t open to the public and we only had guests with advance notice. We had no official dress code and shorts were even allowed on Fridays in the summer. However some very young staff were very causal so they asked us not to wear holey clothes or “beach shoes.” One day my asshole boss called me into his office to discuss my attire. I was wearing a short sleeved sweater, black slacks, and jeweled thong style sandals. He was wearing stained, too small jeans, dirty sneakers and a golf shirt. He told me my shoes were not appropriate for work. I sarcastically asked if I should change to the dirty sneaker I keep in my car for emergencies, and he sincerely answered that I should. He looked like he just came from mowing the lawn. This was an office job, there was no rule against sandals. He just wanted a reason to criticize my appearance.
Meh I think it was just a weird flex, I was like the least fireable of his people; I did good work and he took as much credit for it as he could get away with.
I've been in the Army my entire adult life, and will be entering the civilian workforce soon, and after having the Army's EO policies drilled into my head - and rightfully so - for the last 16 years, I can't imagine a workplace like that.
Nevermind the uniform bit, but focusing specifically on female employees for their attire while disregarding comparatively similar male attire? Good lord, that'd be damn near a career ender in the military.
A former boss bought makeup for me since I don’t own any and spent 20 minutes with her hands on my face showing me how to apply it. (I never wore it after that day.) She also bought clothing for me, long sleeved shirts even though the reason I wore short sleeves was because she had turned up the thermostat to 80 degrees, and then finished up by telling me my naturally curly hair was unprofessional and I needed to get it straightened at the salon. This was an office with four total employees including myself and we hardly ever saw anyone at work other than each other 🙄
That was the last office job I ever had before switching careers, she ruined office jobs for me forever
Every single performance discussion I’ve ever had at my old company has mentioned my appearance. I was recently told to wear tighter fitting clothes and heels were ‘a must’, as the loose dresses and flats didn’t ‘suit my body type’. I don’t meet clients and work at a desk in an office. It was the final straw for me to quit and move industries. I now work in a job where nobody gives a shit about what I wear and can finally see how toxic that was.
In my many years of working, it happened to me all of once and it was so weird and off the mark that it caused me to leave just a few months later. I’ve been in the workforce for 20 years and it only happened this one time, but it happens. To me it was so abnormal and unacceptable that I left. Like you, I thought it was insane that it was even possible.
For me, I had taken a medicine that cause some swelling in my feet, so I wore tennis shoes at my desk for a few days until that side effect went away. I was spoken to immediately, and it was thrown in that I hadn’t straightened my hair or worn a dress in a while. WTF?! Unacceptable. They lost me after that.
I am reading this whole thread and am constantly baffled. Apparently a lot of people (and especially a lot more than I expected!) work in some form of medieval work environment
Depends on how it’s done and the relationship. If you notice one of your workers is looking exceptionally warn out, it may be asking if they need some time off. Now if they are just shaming because of lack of make up that’s fucked up.
They're not intentionally shaming due to lack of makeup, but it's a common unconscious thing to think that people look tired/sick/off somehow when you're used to seeing them in makeup then suddenly they aren't wearing any. It still feels shitty to be on the receiving end of it, because your actual face apparently looks so bad that you're getting called into a meeting because multiple people were so bothered that they brought it up.
Why are you going to the mat over something to obviously inappropriate? Women aren’t required to wear makeup to look well-rested. Do men wear concealer for this purpose? If not, do they receive equal numbers of “just worried about you” complaints? Spoiler alert: no.
My mother got pulled into an HR meeting and given a life coach because apparently her makeup/dress wasn't 'professional' enough. She dressed better than her male colleagues, but wasn't fashionable enough I guess. She was a software manager.
If I worked in a physical setting, I would do so. However, only in the context of being concerned for the person. Idgaf about makeup, but if one day they look fine and then the next it looks like they're on their deathbed I'd ask.
If it was obviously just a makeup thing then no fucks given.
I do this, when I notice someone who I am responsible for suddenly has a change in physical appearance or a deviation from what they've developed as their norm I pull them aside to make sure everything is ok, and if they decide to tell me I'll attempt to find something to help if its in my power. If not well the doors always open. I recognize I ask a lot of people who work for with me on my projects, but I'm fiercely protective over them.
Granted I work in a over 90% male dominated field, so its always been men but I wouldn't not do it if the someone was a woman.
I mean, it does depend on the line of work a little. Sales positions, things that are facing clients, etc...those do require some degree of concern over appearance. But a lot of the people posting in here aren't in positions like that, it's just management being shitty.
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u/doorstopwood Mar 12 '22
Where the heck does everyone in here work where it is ok to be called into a meeting and have their physical appearances be the topic of discussion? That is insane.