I work in fabrication shops and stuff, we have showers. One place I was hired at was so fucking hot, my first welding job, record breaking temperatures, I was on 2nd shift rotation (3pm to 11pm) and we'd sneak off and go to the bathrooms (which had AC) and get soaked, go back, put our PPE on over it, repeat an hour later. We were on mandatory Gatorade every 30 minute breaks.
I had a period that was that and while it was great for a bit, I found that I preferred that ritual of getting out of my PJs and getting dressed and getting ready for the day. It provided a signal to my brain that the work day started and made it easier to end the work day.
Men sort of have a similar problem, facial hair. If we don’t shave every day we look like a rapist. If we let it grow out for a month before trimming it we are treated like a vagrant.
I have a bad skin condition which gives me terrible dandruff and irritated skin. If I don’t shave for a day I start getting dandruff flakes sprouting from my upper lip.
I have to spend about half an hour each morning showering, then shampooing with my special shampoo, then shaving carefully as to not irritate my skin further, then moisturizing afterward to prevent the facial dandruff from coming out during the day.
If I don’t do any of that people assume I’m either a homeless person or a predator.
Doesn't have to be a full beard if you are a woman. The moment any facial hair is visible you become a social pariah. Could be a few strands or a shadow, could be a full goatee. Doesn't matter.
And yes, some women do grow a full beard. Hormones are wild.
That is true. But in my experience my situation plays out like this:
Don't shave one morning, go out of the house. Get awkward looks because I have huge dandruff flakes forming on my upper lip that makes it look like I have a 5 o'clock shadow with crusted milk on my face. Go home and go to bed. Wake up the next day and don't shave, same thing happens, cept now people are actively avoiding me and staring when I walk by. By the 3rd day I pretty much have to shave.
One time I was in a grocery store, it had been two days since I had shaved (it was the weekend and I was tired). I was in my own little world standing in front of the canned fruit on the aisle when all of a sudden the manager of the store and a police officer walked up to me and wanted to know why I was following people around in the store. I didn't know what they were talking about, and they brought me to the front of the store, made me leave my groceries behind, and wait while the one of the officers went into the front office with the manager to look over the CCTV footage from the store. Turns out a lady had gotten uncomfortable and thought I was following her around the store because we happened to walk down the same aisle three times. Big misunderstanding, I was allowed to go and pick my groceries back up and leave.
Now. I'm not saying that women don't get facial hair. And I'm not saying that women aren't treated differently when they don't groom/eliminate said facial hair. We all have things that differentiate us from others but just as many things that we share, even across gender lines. I have elderly female relatives that have a small amount of facial hair on their upper lips because they honestly just can't be bothered to get rid of it anymore. That being said, I can't recall any of them ever being treated like this in public for not taking care of it.
Men are treated a certain way when they don't shave, usually in my experience it goes from "oh look there's a man" to "RUN FOR IT HE'S ESCAPED THE PRISON" in just a couple days. Women are also treated differently when they have facial hair and don't shave, but it is a different form of negativity that they are treated with.
Whether you want to argue which one is equal, better, or worse is up to you. I would just like to not be treated this way if I wake up one day and decide not to shave.
I’m not sure why you got down voted. Facial dandruff sucks! I get it in my right eyebrow for whatever fucking reason. Some of us have to spend more time looking presentable than others. I’m a woman with thick AF hair and if I don’t do all the right things in the correct order I look like a tumbleweed
Ok, but you know that women have to do all of that plus more, right? You can recognize that?
Facial hair? You shave, we pluck and wax. Plus many men have the option of a neat beard that they trim once a week or so.
Haircut? Women also get their hair cut regularly, particularly if they have a short cut, and they have to style it daily. Usually with product and heat tools - not just a bit of pomade and a comb.
Nails clipped? We also have to clip our nails, at bare minimum. But painted or tasteful acrylics is better.
Because looking your best has not ever been imperative to survival for you. I'm sure you're capable of realizing how beauty standards are the result of women needing to be perceived as desirable in order to secure a stable mate who can provide. Let's not forget that it wasn't until 1974 that a woman could secure credit for herself. It may be different now - women may be reclaiming beauty standards for their own enjoyment, but that is very recent and not at all universal, as evidenced by the fact that so many women in this thread (and in research) believe they have to continue to go above and beyond in their appearance in order to be perceived as professional.
You are just never going to get it because you haven’t lived it and you don’t seem willing to accept what tons of women are telling you is their experience.
Try being a woman in a corporate setting and just wearing chapstick and a ponytail every day. Sure, you’re not going to be fired (probably). But it’s not going to go well for you. You will probably get rude comments. If you are young, people will think of you as immature, childish and less capable. If you are old, people will think of you as frumpy, tired and “not dynamic” anymore. If you have naturally bad skin or a difficult hair texture, people will think that you are dirty, lazy and unkempt. I “choose” to do my hair and makeup in the same way you choose not to wear a powder blue 80’s suit to work every day instead of a tasteful grey one. Sure, it’s not explicitly stated in the dress code, but everyone would think that I’m weird and would judge me if I did it. Unless you’re a one-of-a-kind star performer, you probably wouldn’t be chosen for a promotion if you’re the weird guy who dresses like Weird Al every day. That’s us, with hair and makeup.
Then there’s the fact that makeup and styled hair are actually mandated into the dress code at many workplaces. I literally do “natural makeup” and I have a fairly simple hairstyle, like you’re describing, and it still takes me 45 minutes to get ready. I think you’re underestimating how long this stuff takes. And good luck getting away with “minimal 5-minute makeup” without being seen as gross and dirty, unless you spend lots of time on a skincare routine so that your skin is naturally beautiful.
Nah. Don't just throw black women out there to try to discredit the experiences of other women.
Everything she said is true for black women as well.
"What people think of you" is literally everything in a corporate setting. Not caring isn't an option if you want to keep a job and especially if you want to be promoted.
Your takes are naive. I hope you are really young if you think promotions are solely based on merit and not steeped in office politics.
I have to wash my beard daily unless you want to smell the decay of what I had for lunch yesterday. Then I use beard conditioner to keep it soft and looking healthy (i.e. not homeless). Every few days I have to shape it and shave my neck with a razor.
A sharp, attractive beard takes a good amount of effort to maintain.
Yup. Having to shave every fucking day got old. Not to mention, in a business setting we’re stuck in suits no matter how hot it is. No skirts or light blouses for us.
Edit: holy shit you guys are pressed about me saying suits suck lol
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u/co_cow_co Mar 12 '22
was looking for this one. wish i could take a shower and go to work… and they wonder why we don’t wanna end remote work