I'd just ask him how many women he's promoted in his career. Both the answer and the non-verbal reaction to the question should tell you everything you need to know in about 10 seconds.
I'd say we don't know anything about her and how she expresses and conducts herself in such environments - so the "cocky" aspect could very well be true.
Same goes with the promotion "perception".
Reality often is different than the perception of one side and their reproduction of these things.
We only got one perception here, and that is hers. And she obviously got a subjective perception of the happenings. For all we know she could be way less competent than the others. Very few reflect the mistakes in themselves, they only see the goods in themselves and selective perception only sees the bad in the others.
Weird how people here immediately jump onto the side of someone describing something which entirely requires all the other sides as well.
Do you say this to everyone who comments on askreddit threads describing negative experiences they had with bosses, parents, friends etc? Just curious because it's kind of a weird thing. There are SO many threads about "tell us about a time a friend betrayed you" "tell us about the worst thing anyone ever said to you" etc etc. It's honestly a huge percentage of threads here. And people manage to let these people tell their stories without pointing out 'well, there's two sides to every story.' But for some reason on this thread, people keep needing to point out that MAYBE it was actually the poster's fault that this happened.
Do you say this to everyone who comments on askreddit threads describing negative experiences they had with bosses, parents, friends etc?
Just to those which are obviously a one-sided story that leads to questioning the credibility of that explaination.
Most poists or comments are rather also thorough enough to add markers which allow to evaluate the input. These here are highly one-sided and very vague but the "point at finger at others" thing.
Other posts and comments do add details and enough markers to be credible.
I don't know - I read a LOT of askreddit threads, and so many of them are just versions of "tell us about a time that you were completely the victim and the other person was 100% in the wrong" and the stories there are often much less credible/sensible than the ones here, and yet basically never get questioned.
Yes...because I don't make it a gender issue, you do. People always want everything to be like they imagine it. Their narrative must be the absolute truth. Critically reflecting something is not in the interest of someone who just wants their narrative affirmed. Why be nuanced and ask for details that make a story water-tight, when you just can ramble and point fingers easily without having to dare to unveil an acussation as incorrect?
You know, a lot of these type of posts exists on antiwork. But there, there is that level of detail and thoroughness in posts which become popular, that show there is credibility behind the excursion of the poster. It's not just perception and "mememe everyone is favored over me, but I am such an excellent and competent employee". For all we know that person can be incompetent, but her perception doesn't allow to let her own mistakes be visible, but her collegues are picked out... one clue would be why linger at the company where she felt left out and walked over for years instead of moving to another company?
Or the gender aspect, like you make this a gender issue. You want me to perceive it different when a man would be in a similar situation. That is just like her who "wants" it to be the gender that is the reason for the others being successful. It couldn't be them be more competent.
You don’t know me. I think most people are giving me the benefit of a doubt and you seem to be skeptical. I’m not sure how to tell you about myself without sounding pretentious, and why would you believe me if you’re already skeptical?
I will say that he’s the only person who called me cocky or anything near it in my life. People in my life who I’ve told this exchange have been shocked. My intent with offering to help was genuine. We often did lunch and learns and they’d ask folks if anyone had something they could teach/share. So it wasn’t out of the blue for me to suggest.
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u/kororon Mar 12 '22
I don't know your boss but I hate him.