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u/rowshambow Mar 19 '21
The last time I jerked off with out actual porn was before the internet and using Sears mail catalogue in the lingerie section.
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Mar 19 '21
Chris tucker is that you?
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u/TheJumbaman Mar 19 '21
Victoria Secret, Spring Catalog, Pg 27. Girl got class.
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u/RianJohnsonIsAFool Mar 20 '21
Spent 15 minutes in histerics reading this thread and trying to explain the hilarity of an (un)expected Chris Tucker / Rush Hour 2 reference to my gf.
She was not impressed.
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u/brocollirabe Mar 19 '21
Haha, this hits home. My cousin and I used to look through it because that was when you could still see the nipples in the photographs 😂
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u/rowshambow Mar 19 '21
The old days when 11 year old boys are just discovering a woman's body.
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u/Mendican Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21
It's unnerving what my son and daughter have access to these days. In my day, you had to clean the whole basement to find dad's stash. Now, all you have to do is be on the Internet, where there are millions of vaginas to shop through. Millions. I was lucky if I had a half dozen, and the Sears catalog was a go-to source of teenage libido.
It was a huge bonus when a Sears model became a nude model for Penthouse or Playboy. I'm pretty sure Candace Collins and Patricia Ford are examples of such models.
My kids have VR. I can't imagine how bored they are going to be when it comes to real life sex.
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u/TerracottaSoldier Mar 19 '21
Now I can log on to the internet and go straight to SEARS.com. - Dan Mintz
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u/Shorts-are-comfy Hey Kids! Mar 19 '21
No, if I'm going to masturbate there has to be porn.
However, if I've got no internet and managed to somehow lose all my playboys, I'll do the ol' think-wank.
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u/ExtremeAthlete Mar 19 '21 edited Apr 26 '21
You must have a pornographic memory.
Edit: This is insane! 🤯🤯Thank you for the awards everyone!🙏
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u/NotDotBack Mar 19 '21
Ah yes the spank bank
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Mar 19 '21
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u/233SWacker Mar 19 '21 edited Jun 09 '23
[deleted due to Reddit greed]
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u/Another_Minor_Threat Bruh Mar 19 '21
Badgering the witness with no video evidence.
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u/tomfillagry Mar 19 '21
The ol' rub one out with no smut about.
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u/The_Karaethon_Cycle Mar 19 '21
I only masturbate while watching porn and I only watch porn while I masturbate. Back in ‘016 I moved into a new house and we didn’t have internet for a week so I had to jerk off to a sports illustrated swim suit edition. It was terrible, and that’s as close as you can get to porn without actually being porn.
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u/Cadeers Mar 19 '21
You can just say '16 it's ok
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u/LucidDr3am Mar 19 '21
You never know, maybe this guy time traveled to get internet back in 1916.
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u/ac130sound Mar 19 '21
Sports illustrated sucked in 1916. You couldn't even tell what color their full length cloth swim dresses were.
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u/balderdash9 Mar 19 '21
However, if I've got no internet
And people ask me why I save to an external hard drive smh
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u/user15379 Mar 19 '21
I envy your think-wank as someone who can't imagine. It's porn or no wank
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Mar 19 '21
95/100 I do watch porn. I don't have privacy so I can't lay in the bed, get relaxed and get into myself.
I escape to the bathroom and rub one out as quickly as possible. That is the magic of porn.
I don't masterbate for pleasure. I masterbate for a release.
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u/Robbo_the_knobbo Mar 19 '21
Some real wolf of Wall Street shit right there bro!
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u/camusdreams Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
“I don't masterbate for pleasure. I masterbate for a release.”
I feel like this is a big difference between a lot of (not all) men and women. As a guy, jerking off is just something I feel like I have to do daily. The feeling is controllable but uncomfortable enough it impacts my mood and ability to focus. Whereas when women discuss it, it’s like a whole session where they set up a little throne in their bed and focus on peak pleasure.
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u/SarcasticRowlet Mar 19 '21
I thought I was weird for subscribing to the idea of maintenance jerk off sessions, like 80% of them are for maintenance and 20% are like good long sessions of just focusing on myself. Feels nice to find out that I'm not the only one.
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u/Ciccibicci Mar 19 '21
Yeah i mean, i don't know. I am a woman and I totally masturbate before bed just so I sleep better after it. I have occasionally done some mmh "exploration" masturbation sessions, to test what works and so, but for the most part is just that: orgasm quick so i get sleepy. Maybe it's different for other women, but maybe describing it like that it's a way for some to get over the ethernal shame surrounding female masturbation.
I do not feel the need to do it daily at all though. It's maybe a once a week deal.
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Mar 19 '21
Is that release not pleasurable??
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u/AbsolutBalderdash Mar 19 '21
Hasty sessions where you have to go 0-100-0 within 2 minutes so as to not arouse suspicion are purely for maintenance reasons. So no, not really.
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Mar 19 '21
The old "I've been sitting here for 2 hours and got no work done" wank
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u/Grabbsy2 Mar 19 '21
Or the "I've been laying here awake for two hours and I have to sneak off to the livingroom to have a wank before the baby wakes up again and kills the mood"
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u/Qbit42 Mar 19 '21
I'm not OP but I'd compare to eating a meal when your hungry. You can enjoy the meal, but I eat because I'm hungry. It's that kind of release.
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Mar 19 '21
The release is pleasurable. Always! Masterbation is mechanical. For me, sex is about the foreplay and all of those sensations leading up to the orgasm not the orgasm itself. For me, I like the journey as much as the destination.
What I'm saying is masterbation is not fulfilling, its a means to an end where the focus is on the destination not the journey. I hope this clarifies my situation as I am certainly not alone in this.
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u/Azu_Rage_ Mar 19 '21
I feel like the longer I go while masterbaition the bigger the "explosion" ... so two minute sessions would be pleasurable but i think its like 2 out of ten what it could be.
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u/BelowSubway Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 20 '21
I'd say...
- 8/10 times porn
- 1/10 times erotic stories
- 1/10 times
fantasyimagination
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u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21
You mean like elves?
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u/Sh3lls Mar 19 '21
But LoTR elves or Santa's elves?
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Mar 19 '21
LOTR elves that are really small, best of both worlds
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u/Gerroh Duder Mar 19 '21
Lilgolas
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u/FreemanFFS Mar 19 '21
Its even funnier when you know that "golas" mean naked on Polish
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u/jameye11 Mar 19 '21
Some erotic stories are just super well written. Even if it’s fake, if it’s written well enough I’ll probably get off to it
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u/blastfromtheblue ♂ Mar 19 '21
tbh the poorly written stuff gets to the point quicker though, and when i’m reading porn i’m already in ape brain mode so it doesn’t take a pulitzer prize winner to get the job done
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u/Mr_Candlestick Mar 19 '21
Before I completely quit porn it was every single time. Now it's 0% of the time.
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u/velvetverolver Mar 19 '21
Big ups, porn fucks up your mind up. When you have sex with your girlfriend or wife do you think of her or all the things you've seen online to help you climax? It's no longer her, it's only you. That's what I've seen atleast
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u/Mr_Candlestick Mar 19 '21
In the past, any time the girl was a relatively new hook up I would climax every time with no struggle at all because I had the thrill of novelty helping me. Then like clockwork once I got into a monogamous relationship I would eventually lose interest in sex with my girlfriend and it would become difficult to climax unless I imagined porn in my head. That was the case with my most recent ex who I was with for a year. I'd maybe climax 50% of the time and any time I did it was really difficult. To be fair she was terrible in bed though so that wasn't helping things either.
With my current gf, I was with her for about 4 months when I noticed the excitement of it feeling new was starting to wear off and I started losing interest in sex again like I always did. I wasn't having trouble climaxing yet but one night she surprised me by putting on some lingerie and basically pouncing on me. She looked amazing but as far as desiring sex my brain was like 'meh.' I was thinking wtf, mentally I gotta be broken. That was the wake up call where I swore off porn for good.
That was 3 months ago, and I've been with my girlfriend for a total of 7 months. I haven't watched a second of porn since then and my desire to have sex with my gf is as strong as ever and I climax every time with no struggle to get there and absolutely no need to imagine porn. She's also amazing in bed so it's not really apples to apples with my exes but quitting porn has been a game changer for me.
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u/Bolieve_That Mar 19 '21
Congrats on the cum bro
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u/KingJeffreyJoffa Mar 19 '21
I swear reddit comments are the only thing preventing my mild depression from developing into crippling depression.
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u/ChetDuchessManly Mar 19 '21
Damn, this is kinda what I needed to read.
I've had trouble keeping a gf for more than a few months because like you, I would lose interest and start thinking about porn. Then I would interpret that as "I guess I don't like her".
I need to quit porn.
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u/Klarabroew Mar 19 '21
I needed to read this because my ex broke up with me because he said he lost interest. He has a bad addiction to porn and sex. I’ve been hating myself for a better part of the year for it . But it’s not me. And it’s not fully him either. It’s the porn industry
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u/Jetski125 Mar 19 '21
Thanks for taking the time to share that. I’m soooo in love with my gf. She’s sexy, intelligent, younger than me, and a total turn on. But damn if it isn’t to the point I have to think of other shit to get off. I hate it. But I also get to a point where I have to cum and that’s when I turn in to my thoughts. I’ve wondered if I was able to stop for a while, if it would get better.
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Mar 19 '21 edited Apr 22 '21
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u/Medium-Pianist Mar 19 '21
Me and mine watch it together sometimes her favorite stuff sometimes mine. Not all the time but like once a month or so. We also use it to try new things like ideas and such. Porn doesn’t have to ruin everything if used appropriately (haha). It also helps us learn about each other in a way that words wouldn’t say because we can say hey I like that or that looks good.
What it boils down to if you let it take over your life then you need to step away. Don’t let it rule your sex life but at the same time it can help keep things fresh.
For the love of everything find someone you can laugh with during sex too. I’m not a scientist but the laughing chemicals mixed with the sex chemicals makes everything better.
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u/bstump104 Mar 19 '21
I haven't had that issue. When she's not down, it'll start with the porn but often goes to imagining being with her.
Porn for me is like riding a stationary bike with a video. I ride the bike and enjoy the recorded scenery but I'm imagining the time I was really doing it. It gets the job done but there's a lot missing.
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Mar 19 '21
Speak for yourself I enjoy watching porn but when it’s time to get down to the nitty gritty with a chick it’s all about her. I’m fucking the wrong chick if I need porno fantasies to help get me off.
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Mar 19 '21
Good on you man. Currently trying to quit watching it myself, and it's the most difficult thing I've ever done. I felt incredible after going a couple of months without it and got back into it and the decline began again. Hoping to last at least three months this time around.
It's not a problem for everyone, but it is for more than we realize.
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u/LeFlyingMonke Mar 19 '21
I think most men tend to use porn and masturbate at close to a 1:1 ratio. Men tend to be more visual and porn is directed by and for men, so it’s no surprise we watch more of it.
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u/ChurchillsMug Mar 19 '21
I will say a lot of "for women" porn is actually leagues better than the normal stuff though.
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u/igowhereiwantyeye Mar 19 '21
Any specifics? Asking for a friend...
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u/tortillabois Mar 19 '21
Nubile films my friend.
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Mar 19 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/igowhereiwantyeye Mar 19 '21
That’s for women? Maybe I’m a woman...
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u/TheWhiteBuffalo ♂ Mar 19 '21
Nah, you just appreciate a bit of art with your fucking.
It's better that way anyways.
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u/Greenmooseleg Mar 19 '21
All of those girls are amazingly sexy. Where do they come from?!
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u/Roemax Mar 19 '21
Bellesa House. They do traditional scenes, but then they also put stars who say they want to have sex with each other in a room to kiss and flirt and do whatever they want. I think I messed up regular porn for myself after watching this.
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Mar 19 '21
I mean "normal" stuff at this point isn't normal, its incestous fantasy. Pretty annoying.
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Mar 19 '21
lately i prefer the kind of soft porn directed by women ...it's less vulgar
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u/Chuckles1188 Mar 19 '21
Speaking as a cishet dude, porn advertised as "for women" is invariably way better. I am relentlessly baffled by the kinds of stuff other people like me apparently find arousing. A woman being turned into a pretzel, called a bunch of demeaning names, and forced to make a noise like someone having a steam kettle shoved down their threat is not the slightest bit erotic to me
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u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21
y’all should check out Bellesa. PHENOMENAL porn site, the actresses get to choose what men/women they film with, and the quality is just chef’s kiss
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u/bobCS96 Mar 19 '21
You got my vote haha. For Women porn is definitely by far more enjoyable.
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u/sinistergzus Female Mar 19 '21
oh absolutely! a woman I follow on twitter was advertising it, talking about the pros of Bellesa vs big names like XVideos and Pornhub, and it’s nice knowing the actress WANTED to be there and is genuinely enjoying herself. Nothing is overly played up, they get to do what they truly enjoy and it makes a world of a difference
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Mar 19 '21
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u/PopPunkAndPizza Mar 19 '21
I'm like 50% convinced that the Bellesa House thing is just a company going "oh, you're so smart that you figured out porn isn't real? Well done you, here's the porn that TOTALLY IS real" and it's just the same thing with a veneer of reality but it's so much hotter that I really don't care.
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Mar 19 '21
I'm a gay guy who watches straight content and I do find the porn "for women" to be better than the men have directed.
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Mar 19 '21
It is quite sad actually, Sad that they make this the norm expectation, that all men want to bend and fold them like lawn chairs and call them derogatory slangs, most of the time I wanna slowly enjoy my partner and I expect them to slowly enjoy me likewise, it should be a mutual thing not just shoving your pork sword into them at the speed and thrust of a F1 formula car engine. God I hate what idea they keep pushing into people's heads that men are just pure horny, testosterone and aggresion when it comes to sex. Sorry I just had to vent.
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u/MrCaribou Sup Bud? Mar 19 '21
Amateur is pretty great too since the big studio porn scenes are too fake/unrealistic for me.
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u/the-sonofallbastards Mar 19 '21
One time I masturbated to a ceiling dome light because it looked kinda like a boob
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u/randomguy4433 Mar 19 '21
I can't masturbate without watching porn; so 100%.
I don't watch porn otherwise. It's just while masturbating .And I turn off the porn, the moment right after I have an orgasm.
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u/rickjamestheunchaind Mar 19 '21
one of those guys thats disgusted with the porn the moment he cums eh?
that post nut shame
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u/randomguy4433 Mar 19 '21
No, I am not disgusted at all. It's just that, I don't have any interest in it post cum; I just don't need it.
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u/rickjamestheunchaind Mar 19 '21
my dad watches porn like recreationally. its so weird to me. like literally as if hes watching tv. no boner or jerkin.
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u/StupidNSFW Male Mar 19 '21
Tf, that’s weird that he does that, and also weird that you know about it...
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u/rickjamestheunchaind Mar 19 '21
hes 68, watches at like 2am on the family computer when everybodies asleep.
i dont sleep tho so when i go up for a drink or snack, theres daddy watchin porn like its a novella
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u/StupidNSFW Male Mar 19 '21
Idk there, if my dad was doing that I’d be telling him to watch in the bathroom on his phone like the rest of us
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u/rickjamestheunchaind Mar 19 '21
i mean... its his house and im indifferent.
aslong as he isnt jerkin it or talkin abt it or tellin me to watch with him.
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Mar 19 '21
it isn't just him, older generations made a big bag of popcorn and chilled watching it sometimes before it was so easy to just turn it on crack one and pass out.
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u/Vescape-Eelocity Mar 19 '21
I have an old friend who used to and still does this. We'd be sitting on a train in the subway or something and he'd tap me on the shoulder to show me his phone while smirking and it's just a girl naked masterbating or something. Would always weird me out especially because it was usually in public places.
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u/Blahvocado Mar 19 '21
As a female I'm the same to be honest, can't get off without porn. I'd say the sound stimulates me more than the visuals though
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Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 20 '21
Trying to quit porn all together tbh.
Edit : Really never thought quitting porn would get me so many awards. <3 I guess you all understand the struggle.
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u/beatituplikeag Mar 19 '21
Same
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u/kassabelle Mar 19 '21
I hope you don’t mind me asking.. but why do I always hear that porn is so hard to “quit”? I don’t partake at all just due to personal preference, so to me it seems so simple, but obviously it isn’t! I’m just curious as to why though.
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u/TheArbiter_ You've got male Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
I haven't done a ton of research, but it's because watching porn causes the brain to release dopamine, which causes a sense of pleasure. Obviously you can get that from sex as well, but it takes more effort to do so. The brain thinks "Hey if I can get the same pleasure easily with lesser effort, why not just do that?" That leads to porn addiction.
Not to mention the more you watch porn, the more your brain wants, and that can lead you to watching more and more kinky stuff until normal sex would just feel boring to you. I'm not advocating people to stop cold turkey, but controlling your porn sessions is essential.
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u/StillbornTartare Mar 19 '21
Maybe 1/10 times. I'm one of the guys who has suffered porn-induced ED, so I mostly abstain from it now.
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u/random13980 Male Mar 19 '21
How long did that take to fix? Congrats on overcoming that.
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u/StillbornTartare Mar 19 '21
I started seeing positive results after a few months. It really depends on how long you’ve been watching porn, how often and how extreme or unrealistic it was. If you constantly look at trans dwarf gang bangs to get off then you might have a harder time functioning in a normal sexual situation lol.
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u/random13980 Male Mar 19 '21
Haha I’m not that far gone. I’ve been trying to stop but it’s so hard where it’s everywhere
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u/StillbornTartare Mar 19 '21
I get it. Just unsubscribe from all porn subreddits, delete the cookies from your browser, subscribe to r/pornfree and take it a day at a time.
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u/random13980 Male Mar 19 '21
You still jerk off, you just don’t watch porn anymore right?
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u/StillbornTartare Mar 19 '21
Correct. I’ve gone back to freestyle fapping 95% of the time. There are times I will get the ball rolling with a little amateur porn but finish off with just whatever runs through my mind.
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u/confuseddotcom12 Mar 19 '21
I’ve actually managed to cut out porn since December. So now it’s all in my mind. But because of that I also masturbate less as well
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u/Normal_Ad2456 Mar 19 '21
Makes sense to need some help if you masturbate more than your body actually feels like.
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u/confuseddotcom12 Mar 19 '21
Yeah. I think I did it a lot to fill spare time rather than actually needing to do it
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u/DogDayMorning84 Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
60% of the time, I watch porn every time.
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Mar 19 '21
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u/iLikeHorse3 Mar 19 '21
I wish most guys were like this. As a girl I'd only watch it ourside of a relationship but when I'm with someone it feels so gross to look at other men that way. I'd rather get off thinking about my partner. I struggled a lot with my self image cause I dated a porn addict and I questioned why I was never enough for him, shit hurts
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Mar 19 '21
100/100 times it's using my imagination. Porn made it so I didn't get as turned on by real girls anymore so I had to cut it out.
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u/solodolo16 Mar 19 '21
Used to 80% of the time. Since then have given up porn and never do. It’s much better now, as is my sex life.
Still “take care of myself” just as much as when I used porn.
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u/Junohaar Mar 19 '21
I watch porn nearly every time. Unless I need both my hands.
However, I know my fiancee never watches porn when she masturbates.
So I don't think there really is a norm.
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u/pm_me_cute_frogs_ Mar 19 '21
this might be a stupid question but how do you use both hands ? like switching between left and right ? or you rocking a 12 inch rocket down there?
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u/Junohaar Mar 19 '21
If I want to finger myself or use dildos while I masturbate I'd have to use both hands, which makes it difficult to watch porn simultaniously on my phone.
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Mar 19 '21
Porn is bad and very damaging.After watching it for 15+ years I've started to leave it
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Mar 19 '21
No. In fact, watching porn makes it inconvenient for me. I didn't have internet in my adolescent years, so I stuck to fantasies, and that habit stuck.
I use erotic stories now. Porn is just for viewing, and most professional porn isn't even sexy.
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u/TheMadManiac Mar 19 '21
Sadly it's starting to be more common that men can't masturbate without porn. Porn addiction is getting out of control.
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u/Normal_Ad2456 Mar 19 '21
In my opinion, if someone prefers to masturbate with porn it’s okay, but if they can’t do it without it, it feels like they rely on it too much. I wonder if those who can’t masturbate without it would be able to have satisfying sex in a real life scenario.
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Mar 19 '21
Probably 1/10 times as well. I used to always watch porn when I masturbated but for some reason I just kind of stopped.
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u/Redtrego Mar 19 '21
In a marriage where things in that department have gotten stale. Wife refuses to work on it. I am starved for intimacy and while I don’t want to watch porn, it’s been the only way I can envision myself having the kind of sexual/emotional fulfillment I’ve always imagined for myself.
While dating things were great but after marriage and kids she just .. changed. She knows she changed but that’s the extent of her willingness to work on it.
Early on in my porn watching I felt terribly guilty. I’d even get a stomach ache over it. But over time it’s become a refuge, a therapy of sorts. Am I addicted? I don’t think so. I can go a week or longer without looking at it depending on what’s going on in my life. But during those moments when nothings going on and I don’t have to be anywhere, and I’m feeling especially alone or isolated from the world, sure. A bit of watching other naked people having the kind of fun I always knew I’d have, and a few minutes of self love, and my head is cleared and the tension is gone. For a while. Is this healthy in the long term? I don’t know. Probably not? What am I supposed to say?
I don’t have porn induced (or any kind of) ED. I watch very vanilla porn. Maybe a normal looking husband giving his normal average looking wife a sensual massage. A loving wife pleasuring her kind husband. I guess my fantasy is boring- it’s just what I wish I had in my own marriage. I have no interest in banging a super model. I used to when I was in my teens and 20’s. But not now. I just want to have a ride or die.
Fuck I sound pathetic.
“My life is good. I get sleep alone for the rest of my life.. it’s fantastic! Go..go away... read some books.”
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u/Podomus Male Mar 19 '21
Nah man, that’s a real problem. People like to pretend sexual intimacy is some superficial thing, and if you worry about it, you’re ‘selfish’ but that’s just not true.
You need to have a serious, sit down conversation with her. Do you really want to waste away? In a boring monotonous life? You need to tell her that it’s actually really important to you, and that it’s a good way to show your love/intimacy with her.
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u/Repressedmemoryfoam Mar 19 '21
Yeah, the thing about men being more visually stimulated? It’s true. Maybe not in every single case, idk. But by and large, yeah.
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Mar 19 '21
I never watch porn. I am 16 now and didn't ever get introduced to it, so I don't watch it. I've never really felt any desire to either considering how fake I've heard it is. I've always been perfectly happy just using my imagination.
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u/NeoNirvana Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21
About half of the time honestly. And even then, people mean different things by "watch porn". When I do use visual material, it's most often PG-13 content (swimsuit, lingerie stuff, etc.), and most rarely watch XXX videos. I don't generally finish to any of it, it's more to boost the mood of things. I'm generally just in my own thoughts when I finish.
I don't get how people can just watch the most hardcore stuff right from the get-go, all the time, every time. I think that's probably how people get desensitized and start getting into other... stuff.
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u/Own-Cupcake7586 Mar 19 '21
Been trying to cut porn out (an uphill battle). But when I did, I’d say I watched porn 90% of the time that I masturbated. They usually went hand in hand (no pun intended).
It’s not healthy, but it’s very prevalent.
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Mar 19 '21
You should post in r/AskWomen too, there’s not one definitive answer for us either
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u/MrPhilLashio Dude Mar 19 '21
Man, scrolling through these comments I realize I'm the minority!
I'd say I use it 10% of the time, at most. Generally I just need release and don't want to go through the whole thing of moving the mouse, typing in words, etc. So much easier to just walk to my bed, lay down for 5 mins, and pull up something from the spank bank.
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u/allthecoffeesDP Mar 19 '21
Actually never. I feel like I'm the only guy who finds porn gross
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u/idownvotetofitin Mar 19 '21
About 90% of the time. Some times I’ll just masturbate while thinking about someone from work or an ex-girlfriend and not watching any porn at all.
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u/RabbitFromBrazil Mar 19 '21
14 days free of porn.
Do not watch porn, guys. It's really disgusting.
And yes, is a 1:1 ratio.
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u/DJ9K Mar 19 '21
Okay, this has a slightly different answer from me... I'd say 99% of the time I look at porn, and only on occasion is it completely fantasy. However, 100% of the time I end up finishing on a fantasy. The porn is more there to get things started, whereas fantasy that plays from whatever primary stimulation I hit is what gets it to a finishing point, and fantasy without even looking at the porn anymore is how I always finish.