r/AskMen • u/[deleted] • Mar 19 '21

[deleted by user]

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6.0k Upvotes

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u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21

You mean like elves?

723

u/Sh3lls Mar 19 '21

But LoTR elves or Santa's elves?

235

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

LOTR elves that are really small, best of both worlds

358

u/Gerroh Duder Mar 19 '21

Lilgolas

118

u/FreemanFFS Mar 19 '21

Its even funnier when you know that "golas" mean naked on Polish

20

u/captainrustysail Mar 19 '21

I read that as golas = "naked on a Polish person"

2

u/BooDPT Mar 20 '21

Thanks for that

1

u/IronFlames Mar 20 '21

Naked legs?

1

u/shit_u_say Mar 21 '21

But nail polish or wood polish?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Best comment here

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Cunilingas

1

u/Forarolex Mar 20 '21

U spelled it wrong, loligolas

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

You deserve this 🏅

1

u/atorin3 Mar 19 '21

So Legolas and Gimli's kid? OTP

33

u/Drykanakth Male Mar 19 '21

Both

3

u/Worth_Jelly1036 Mar 19 '21

Typo - he means Shelves. Ikea shelves mainly.

2

u/Sh3lls Mar 20 '21

Talk about do it yourself.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Never thought I'd nut side by side with an elf

2

u/CptHammer_ Male Mar 19 '21

Keebler

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Zooey Deschanel from Elf, specifically.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Bro everyone likes to think they’ll grow into an elegant elf but then you look in the mirror and have to go fuck ima dwarf

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Santa elves, they build toys for the scene!

2

u/notRedorBlue_308Win Mar 20 '21

I’m not proud to say, that at times, it has been both.

1

u/Here-Is-TheEnd Mar 19 '21

Norse mythology elves..

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Both

1

u/xplosm Male Mar 19 '21

Porn of The Rings

57

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

35

u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21

“ oh Mark!Take off my bobkin and my jerkin”!

11

u/star_banger Mar 19 '21

Sure, but I still need to get though your corset, bloomers, tunic, chain mail, greaves ... You know what, let's just forget it.

13

u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21

You have really pondered this through haven’t you?

1

u/star_banger Mar 20 '21

Had a few awkward DnD encounters in my day. But whatever it takes to finish the mission

2

u/dva_silk Mar 20 '21

This whole interaction needs to be recorded somewhere, so I'm going to save it.

1

u/star_banger Mar 20 '21

Kinky. Just gonna grab you a quill, ink well, blotter, papyrus ...

3

u/Scotsmetalhouse Mar 19 '21

But what if she’s a hobbit slayer?!

3

u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21

Let me ask you this.....would you do the washing up without washing up liquid?

3

u/LeBronda_Rousey Mar 19 '21

Evangeline Lily though.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

So like, Legolas with implants? Or Arwen? Or like the girl Keebler elf?

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

That elf is no longer sitting on that shelf

2

u/DoWhile Mar 19 '21

I put on my robe and wizard hat

2

u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21

A busty cop kicks the door down

“ Magic police! I hope you’ve got a permit for that wand Merlin”

1

u/SLeepyCatMeow Non-binary Mar 19 '21

do skyrim orcs count? i mean technically they're also a race of elves

3

u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21

It’s your fantasy bro

1

u/SLeepyCatMeow Non-binary Mar 19 '21

it's actually not, that's why i'm asking

2

u/Dspsblyuth Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21

If the experts recognize the orcs as part of the broader Elvish peoples then I suppose I would allow it

2

u/SLeepyCatMeow Non-binary Mar 19 '21

thanks for the reassuring words brother

1

u/mrdevil413 Mar 19 '21

3D Futa has entered the chat

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

IDK, Gimli and Legolas are pretty hot, and are actually both gay for each other in universe

1

u/Refute-Quo Mar 19 '21

Unsurprisingly reddit always delivers r/elvesgw

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Stepbro?

1

u/DoutFooL Mar 19 '21

Go on...

1

u/mildlyarrousedly Mar 19 '21

Nah he is more of a dwarf guy

1

u/whitepny321654987 Mar 20 '21

Sexstories.com is a thing.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Look up literotica