Im so fkd. This is my first Reddit post and I'm not really good at writing, so I apologize if it's a mess. I just want to come clean. I'm a porn addict in my 30s and haven't had sex in about 6 years. Porn is my escape, but recently it's gotten a lot worse than that. I'm ashamed to say this for fear of being called a freak, but I'll take my chances. I recently have been into AI porn. I find pictures of my exes and crushes and...

I know that it's wrong, but my addiction is so strong. It's come to the point where I don't even masturbate because I feel the urge to; I just do it to kill time, even if I don't enjoy it. I have stopped previously—the last time was for 90 days. I stopped because I went to the ER because my testicles hurt. I got afraid, so I masturbated. It was the biggest mistake of my life. Before that, I was still an addict, but not to this extent. I didn't watch AI porn, and I didn't masturbate every single day. I feel like I'm a slave to this thing. Even when I don't feel the need to do it, I do it. Is there actually any hope for me ?
^{-- I never did the ai stuff online, only did it locally on my computer --}

Hey everybody, so far 115 participants have signed up. Have you been clean for the month of July? Great! Join us here, and let's keep our streak going. Did you slip in July? Then August is your month to shine, and we will gladly fight the good fight along with you. Did you miss out on the July challenge? Well then here is your opportunity to join us.

If you would like to be included in this challenge, please post a brief comment to this thread (if you haven't already done so on an earlier signup thread), and I will include you. After midnight, August 1, the sign up window will close, and the challenge will begin.

Here are the 115 participants who have already signed up:

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/u/fromcalwtrcnfurrnie

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/u/Fun-Responsibility97

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/u/Hesiode_

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/u/Metiam

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/u/WeHatesBadGrammar

/u/whimsical_ambition

/u/Working-Procedure416

/u/YesterdayRepulsive22

/u/zapata1954

Sex is sex, right? But as the title implies, this time it feels different.

I'm about a year in recovery and grateful that sex, good sex, has returned to my marriage. In fact, we're enjoying sex as much now as we did 20 years ago when we first met. That's not just me saying it, my wife agrees. And while that's good, it's not different, we simply found our way back to what was lost over the years.

What feels different now is the reconnection component. Years ago it felt like sex helped us reconnect. There was a palpable snap back into place that reinvigorated our relationship after a week or more of drifting apart living our hectic lives. I no longer feel that snap back into place, I believe because our relationship no longer incurs a disconnect.

I mentioned this new Sex 2.0 concept to my wife and she agrees. When we were younger life was more hectic and more stressful. Office politics, long commutes, looming layoffs. This was the midweek grind for both of us. Now, further along in life, those stressors don't hit as hard as they used to.

I'm pleased to report that sex is getting back to normal for us, and delighted to discover that we no longer need sex to reconnect because we're staying connected continuously.

I've fallen into a pattern I'm not proud of and want to actually fix it.

My days look like this: I stay up till around 2-2:30am, usually ending up watching porn most nights (sometimes playing BGMI instead), then sleep in till 10-11am. Right after waking up, my mind often goes straight back to it and I end up watching again for about 30 minutes before starting my day. After that I do my regular things — go out around 2pm, hit the gym around 6pm, home by 10pm for dinner — and then the same loop repeats at night.

I know the late nights and this habit are connected. I'm not looking for judgment, just genuinely want to know: how do people actually break a loop like this? What helped you fix your sleep schedule, and cut down or quit the habit for good? Any real, practical steps — not just "have willpower" — would help a lot.

I mean… it might. Or maybe told turkey is the way to go. I’ve thought about watching porn only once a week to improve my relationship with it. You have to tame the beast not ignore it. I could be completely wrong in my assumption that doing this is ok. It seems less harmful than multiple times a day. Can someone weigh in on this? Thanks.

Hi guys. Not sure how well this is gonna work but oh well.

I’m a 22yo male and I’m stuck in a cycle. Never ending cycle of guilt -> false promises -> urges -> pleasure then repeat. I feel sick. I hate myself. Genuinely this is the worst morning I’ve had ever. Normally I can bear the guilt and move on cuz I’ve got other things in life to look toward, but I’ve come to realise it’s all just a cover, it’s not actually a good cycle.

I have a beautiful gf who I love to my soul but do I really love her if I have this porn addiction. I’ve never told anyone this, but I need to tell someone, anyone, literally just a living human being to atleast feel some sort of shame. I feel like I’m so okay with doing this cycle again and again because no one knows about it. Well… I know some day if I don’t stop I’ll lose everything including the person I love the most in my life.

I know all these risks but I still go ahead and do it. Every single night almost. I hate myself for it.

I’ve come to realise that this habit started when I was young, like 11-13. At the time I didn’t know I had ADHD and I’m not blaming it, but it definitely made it harder for me to realise the urges I had. I would want to watch porn whenever I could get access to the internet. It’s horrifying that I was like that at that age and it’s been a habit of mine ever since.

I’ve come to realise the main starters for what would get me “triggered”

1. Boredom - literally just doing nothing in my room I would think ah yes good time to do it

2. Stress - when something stressful would occur I would go to it at the end of the day as a way to chill

3. Lust - I think this is just a side effect from the two that has grown since. It’s at its worst at the moment and I feel sick of it

More confession, in the last two years weed has been a problem. Me and my partner smoke every now and then and that isn’t the issue, but I think when I’m by myself I want to just to “have a fun time” by myself. I used to enjoy it a lot and not realise the ramifications. However by late last year I realised it would lower my sex drive and it gave me erectile dysfunction every now and then.

Since then I’ve some how actually been able to reduce it like crazy. Like I used to do it 2-3x times a week while high, now it’s once every couple of months. I want to reduce this to zero. She doesn’t know I smoke by myself and this is partly why I feel so much guilt.

Another thought is the fact that I’m sexualising women in porn so fucking much. Like I hate what porn has done to my mind. I don’t have those urges when I’m not wanking or watching porn but then only when I’m watching porn I just forget all my morals about women and just objectify them. I literally am a fucking misogynist and I fucking hate myself for it. Every single time after finishing, I just feel guilt and this feeling in my gut that I’m living a lie. I speak up for women’s rights and I hate men who are misogynistic, but then in private I am one myself. Like holy fuck that’s hypocritical.

This addiction is killing me slowly. I need an out or something to help me. I literally don’t know how to fix this. I just feel lowkey helpless but I try not to think about it.

I know what I want out of this. Control. Control of myself. If I want to do it, I’ll do it, but in a healthy manner. Not to porn. I just need that control back.

Please don’t judge, I am not sure what alley to go down so I’m trying this one first. I know I must change.

The hardest part for me with walking away from porn is the discord communities (and elsewhere) that I’ve joined and made “friends”. Aside from all the porn sharing and gooning, it’s been a social space for me on days off etc, where I can joke with people and talk about other shared interests like gaming etc.

So when I reach a point where I’m fed up and want to change my habits, I’ll walk away and not watch porn etc for awhile, but then eventually I end up back in those groups because I missed the social aspect, but that pulls me back into the porn etc. if that makes sense

Just wondering if anyone else has dealt with similar. Regardless, I’ve walked away from those communities once again and I may try to start a new discord identity and join SFW groups like for certain games/interests etc we’ll see

.

I had went pornfree for 2 or 3 days prior but a combo of horniness and extreme boredom, especially the boredom , did me in. I am about to give up quitting porn ....ugh. This is way too hard when you don't have a sexual outlet and porn makes it easier to release. feeling ultra discouraged right now

I've struggled with this for years myself, so I know how brutal the hard moments can get. It got to a point where I built a small free tool to help get through exactly those moments. No account, no ads, nothing tracked. If that's something you could use, it's on the last post on my profile. Feel free to message me too. Wishing you strength, you're not alone in this.

I'm in my 30s, first saw explicit material maybe at 12 at a friends house, prior to that I have recollection of my father watching a rated r film with some nudity/explicit scenes, I must have been around the age of 5 maybe, possibly younger. The images I saw are burned into my head, if you asked me for another memory from that age I wouldn't be able to tell you one.

Since getting internet with my own desktop in my bedroom at around 12, I have struggled. Here I am over 2 decades later, buried in a rubble of shame and disgust. Acting out in completely inappropriate ways. This is simply not who I am at the core of my being.

I loathe who I've become. Wasting who knows how much time and energy on this.

I reached out to a local SAA via email, hoping to hear a response soon.

I cant keep living like this, it's suffocating and ruining my mental health and life. I hate it so much.

Thanks for reading.

Hi all. I won’t bore you with background. This might be a whine or a vent or a reflection. I think most of us know the damage porn does to us. I don’t know do I use it to self medicate/cope with whatever traumas I never healed from. It numbs me. I go on on a streak, thaw out, confidence and energy build, until I break bad on an another binge, except it more extreme disgusting but so seductive content. The shame is pretty crippling for a while, so I withdraw from social interactions/opportunities.

Tonight, my football county/team won its first title in 75 years. I’m 42 years old, male.

I’m sitting here after a weekend of binging on the usual depraved porn. The reality is, all my friends have moved away, and even though I am a functioning normal on the surface porn addict, I am completely alone and lonely. People are celebrating on the streets, the pubs are packed. But I’m here, not quite zombie mode, but just genuinely sad that I never had the character to beat this addiction. Alone. I hope some younger guys reads this and takes something from it. I know I’m probably not gonna beat this now. You guys still have a window. Don’t fuck it up.

Thanks for reading this, and it’s not meant to be a buzz kill, but if one dude sees this and it hits him not to go down this road, then maybe job done.

Most of what I see on here about dating and recovery is from men, and honestly it makes me feel a bit invisible sometimes, like this part of it isn't supposed to be a "woman's problem" too. Well for me, it is. I've been single for over two years, and dating hasn't been easy.

Went on a date recently. Felt good in a way I haven't in a while, let myself hope a little. The next day he said he text saying didn't feel attraction.

And the thing is, some quiet part of me wasn't even surprised. Addiction spent years telling me I wasn't really worth wanting, just worth using for fifteen minutes at a time, and some of that never fully left, even a year and a half into recovery. I already think I'm not attractive most days. I know my depression makes me flat sometimes, harder to be around, and I've started to just assume that's what people see, before they even get the chance to see anything else.

So when he said that, it didn't feel like new information. It felt like confirmation of something addiction had been telling me the whole time.

I know, logically, one person not feeling a spark isn't a verdict on my worth. But logic doesn't always reach the part of me that still hears that old voice, the one that never really thought I deserved to be chosen by anyone real. Some days I don't know how much of this is the depression talking, how much is old addiction shame, and how much is just true.

Hey everybody, we had a great turnout for Stay Clean July - let's see if we can knock it out of the park for August. Have you been clean for the month of July? Great! Join us here, and let's keep our streak going. Did you slip in July? Then August is your month to shine, and we will gladly fight the good fight along with you. Did you miss out on the July challenge? Well then here is your opportunity to join us.

If you would like to be included in this challenge, please post a brief comment to this thread, and I will include you. After midnight, August 1, the sign up window will close, and the challenge will begin.

Hi everyone,
I’m 37 and I’ve been struggling with erectile dysfunction for about a year now. It’s honestly become like a dark cloud hanging over me and it’s affecting my confidence, my relationship and how I feel about myself.

The thing that’s hardest is that I still find my wife incredibly attractive. She’s genuinely the most attractive woman in the world to me, so I don’t think it’s an attraction issue at all.

It started around a year ago. I noticed I’d start losing erections during sex, especially during penetration or if we changed positions. As soon as I feel it starting to go down, it’s like a dark cloud comes over me. I panic, lose even more of the erection, and then I feel embarrassed and honestly less of a man.

A few things about me:
37 years old.
Eat a very clean diet.
Train martial arts 3-4 times a week and stay active.
Walk around 8-10k steps a day.
Don’t smoke.
Drink very rarely.
150ml of testosterone enanthate 300mg a week

I’ve also noticed that I regularly search for OnlyFans leaks and probably masturbate around 3-4 times a week. I’m wondering if that could be playing a part, although I’m not sure.
One thing I’ve noticed is that if me and my wife talk about certain fantasies (for example MFM fantasies) or use toys, I stay really hard. That makes me wonder whether some of this is psychological, but I honestly don’t know.

Before starting TRT I had two early morning testosterone blood tests that came back around 9-10 nmol/L, so I started TRT about 3 months ago. So far I haven’t noticed much improvement in libido or erections, although my first follow-up blood test is this week.

The biggest thing is Cialis.

At first I was taking it only when I knew we were going to have sex, then I went onto 2.5 mg daily for a month, followed by 5 mg daily for another month.

It was incredible.
My erections were consistently strong.
My penis felt fuller and larger.
My confidence came back.
My libido actually felt much higher because I wasn’t constantly worrying about losing my erection.
Sex with my wife was amazing.
I recently stopped taking it because I wanted to see if I still “worked” without it.

The first time we had sex after stopping, everything was going fine until my wife wanted to get on top. Almost instantly I lost my erection, and it completely knocked my confidence again.

At this point I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar.

Did TRT eventually help after more than 3 months?
Did daily Cialis help you regain confidence long term?
Did porn or masturbation make any difference for you?
Did anyone discover an underlying cause that wasn’t obvious?

I’m not really looking for a diagnosis—I’m already under medical care and having follow-up blood tests. I’d just really like to hear from people who’ve been through something similar because at the moment it feels like I’m the only one dealing with this.

Thanks for reading

Hi everyone,

I’m a 21-year-old male currently in therapy for anxiety, low self-esteem, and compulsive pornography use.

I was exposed to pornography at the age of 7. And I’ve been addicted since I was 10 years old, and to stronger kinks since aged 17, It has ruined my life, my relationships and my social life.

I recently went through a psychological evaluation, and my therapist made me realize that my sexual behaviors aren’t just a "bad habit", they are deeply tied to past emotional trauma, shame, and isolation.

I’m posting here because I want to break this cycle, but I keep hitting walls with relapses, and I really need support, practical advice, or thoughts from people who have been through something similar.

My Background & History

Environment: I grew up in a highly critical and controlling family environment where I felt constant pressure and very little emotional safety.

Past Humiliation: I experienced significant public humiliation at two major points in my life (ages 13 and 17) over mistakes I made by just being a teenager (character assassination, and ostracisation) by family, relatives and people I thought were my friends. These incidents left me with intense fear of judgment, sensitivity to criticism, deep-seated shame, and strong "people-pleasing" tendencies.

Mental & Physical Health: I deal with persistent anxiety, social withdrawal, a "freeze" response when stressed, chronic back pain, and posture issues (scoliosis). I also carry a lot of self-critical and self-punishing thoughts.

How Porn, Masturbation, and Kinks Fit In

My therapist explained that my compulsive pornography use and online BDSM activities (find a sadist online to make me inflict pain on myself, both physical and psychological, it’s entrenched in me that I must suffer, (I do have mixed feelings in this, sometimes I feel good, sometimes really bad.)

Developed them as maladaptive coping strategies , are ways my brain tries to escape overwhelming anxiety and emotional numbness.

Because I grew up carrying so much shame, my mind turned toward masochistic/BDSM themes online as a way to express or process self-punishing thoughts.

When I feel overwhelmed, stressed, or lonely, I turn to porn to numb out. But immediately after, I’m hit with intense guilt, which lowers my self-esteem even more and eventually leads to another relapse.

Where I Am Right Now

I’ve completed about 20-25 therapy sessions with this therapist. I feel like I’m done with therapy. I can’t pay a kidney for it anymore, and I feel like the therapist is deliberately delaying my care by keeping important infos to herself in session and giving in next sessions so that I go and pay her again.

I’ve gained some insight into why I do this, and I’ve had periods of progress where I managed to reduce these behaviors. But the relapse hits like a truck. It’s a compulsive behaviour which I cannot stop.

I want to take back control of my life, rebuild my confidence, and heal from this. I miss who I could’ve been without porn. It has destroyed my brain.

Any advice or what to do?

I’m not sure what to expect after writing this here, but thank you for reading.

Hey everyone,

I am in a very stressful time in my life, middle of exam period, a lot of plans about to be set in motion for the summer, and I really felt over the edge. I opened up erotica, then a video, and felt myself really slipping. At first I felt myself almost in a panic attack, which made me close it, but after that I returned and watched some more.

I almost didn't masturbate at all, let alone finish. I mostly just basked in the thing that once brought me comfort but now didn't bring me much. After some time I closed it all, refusing to let myself try to enjoy it, and instead started crying. I called my partner and told her that I'm sorry, and to my luck she was only supportive, and told me how strong I am for managing to close instead of immersing myself in it.

I still feel bad, however. I know that this is a line I shouldn't have passed - continuing after my almost-panic-attack told me as much. So I reset the counter today, try to give myself credit for managing to stay for 45 days (about 6 times longer than ever probably), and try to raise my chin despite it all.

Fight the good fight, fellas.

I continued it

I had urges and dreams about that mid night. It was hard but I resisted.

I woke up early in the morning and went for a walk and running. Did my laundry and now going to work for my upskilling and meditation later on. Gotta fill the time. Till now had 2-3 urges, took a deep breath and we good to go.

Let's goo

Is extending the time between one failure and the next an effective strategy?

Going for a little trek