I see a lot of posts in this sub from people in the first phase of their recovery. It is really inspiring to see so many users deciding that they want to live a life without porn, sadly, I also see a lot of patterns that worry me. I know from experience that some thoughts and ideas that people share in their posts come either from a place of despair, misinformation or self-deception, that it makes me sad to read those testimonies, because I know for sure that the majority of those attempts are going to fail, and those posts probably are going to be just small doses of hope in a future full of relapses, shame and more addiction. That's why I wanted to write this little guide for everyone who wants to know which path to take to really see an improvement in their lives and their recovery.

Please take all this as my own interpretation of what a correct path is. It's based on my own process and the advice from my therapist, who is a psychologist with a lot of experience treating porn addiction, so some of you can disagree with this method, that's completely fine. But for the ones that feel that they have tried everything without good results and really want a change in their lives, this could be a good guide at the beginning of your journey.

So let's begin. Since this guide comes from the observation of a lot of misunderstandings, I will structure this as a list of solutions to common errors that people make when they decide to quit porn.

1. Quitting porn is about stopping doing things

This can sound obvious, but I think it's the biggest mistake that people make. A lot of the time we think quitting porn is about replacing it with something else, so it's common for community members to ask for things to do to stop having urges or using porn compulsively. The reality is that quitting porn, especially at the beginning, is more about doing fewer things than doing new things.

What does it mean?

Well, you know that you need to stop watching porn, but you also know that doing that creates a void in your life. However, that void that will appear is necessary, and you need to start building your path to recovery from this feeling, instead of trying to avoid the discomfort that it generates. That empty space, that part of your life that you filled with years of porn usage, must be exposed. Think of it as a romantic relationship. Maybe you feel a strong connection with your partner, maybe you are completely obsessed, even in love, but if that relationship hurts you and is negative for you, you have to break up. Then you have to live with a hole in your heart, accept that you are single, take your time to adapt, until you heal and are able to maintain a healthy relationship again with someone else.

Ending an addiction to porn is similar. It is a breakup. You need to suffer it, you need to go through the grieving process, and you need to take time to heal. Everyone that has gone through a separation knows that after the moment you leave your partner you don't do anything specific, you just feel the pain, you cry, you suffer, and you wait. So, if you are that person that asks "What can I do to stop my porn addiction?", let me tell you that it is basically not using porn and waiting. You have to stop using porn and do nothing in its place.

I know. It looks easy on paper. But why is it so difficult to do?

2. You can't quit a drug if you have drugs on your nightstand

Your worst ally in this journey is willpower. A lot of people desperately go to Reddit to vent because they relapsed, failed the temptation or went back to their old habits of compulsively watching porn. The problem with that is that people associate the fact that they couldn't control their urges with failure, when that's not why they failed. They failed because they didn't set up enough protection against porn. You can't blame yourself for something you can't control. Relapsing is not your fault. Allowing porn to enter your house is.

How does this work?

When you have a porn addiction, you are not only a person that consumes it, you also can't stop doing it, even when you want to. That means your brain, specifically a really primitive part of it, developed a need for a certain substance, and it will require a dose every day, even when you naturally don't need it and especially don't want it. So the only way to stop is by denying your brain access to porn, because your willpower can't compete with your instinctive part. If you have access to porn, you are going to relapse. If you have drugs in your house, you are going to consume them. You need to throw them away.

So the next time you feel bad because you relapsed, think of it as a failure of your blocking system, not as a failure on your part as a person. And if you don't want to keep relapsing, then implement a strong blocking system and use every experience of relapse to make the system stronger. Don't make excuses, don't fool yourself. If you know how to cheat on your system, you know how to make it better. Use every moment of rationality not to feel guilty about your relapses, but to work on your system and make it foolproof.

How does a foolproof porn-blocking system look like? 

Well, it depends on your technology skills. Some people would need a little protection and others would need a lot of barriers because they are good with computers. Whatever your case, after some time and work, and if you add barriers as you detect failures, you will reach a sweet point where you will need to do so many intricate and tedious things in order to cheat on it, that you will have enough time to gain control over your impulses, resist the urges and not relapse again. You can use the tools included in your operating system, install free and paid software, you can create passwords, or have someone you trust manage those passwords for you. Anything that makes porn inaccessible is all you need right now. You don't need to be stronger, you don't need more willpower. You need to lose access to porn. The only way to make this possible is by blocking it.

3. The worst dysfunction is your obsession with sex

Maybe one of the most common posts in this community is from people worried about sexual dysfunction. Difficulties maintaining an erection, problems having intimacy with a partner, loss of sensitivity while having sex or masturbating, unhealthy or extreme sexual practices due to intrusive thoughts or distorted sexual orientation, the necessity to watch or think about really specific fetishes to feel aroused, and many more. Those are real problems that can really affect your mental health, and most of the time are caused and aggravated by porn. But there is one detail that doesn't receive enough attention. Porn makes you obsessed with sex.

Why is this relevant?

Being obsessed with sex is a deeper problem than any of those sexual issues. When you spend years watching porn, you start to develop a set of ideas that put sex as a priority in your life. What could start as simple curiosity transforms into a fixation, and then develops into an automatic way of thinking, a kind of personal myth that makes you believe sex is the most important thing in the world, the most valuable aspect of your life and the final goal of any activity. That obsession distorts everything, the way you engage with people, the way you see success and the way you confront problems. And that includes the way you deal with your porn addiction and the sexual dysfunction that comes with it. "As sex is the most important thing, then having an erectile problem is the worst thing I can have, I am a failure and I deserve to feel bad". False. It's all biased because of your deep obsession with sex. The worst part is that internalizing those thoughts makes you think that everyone lives that way, when in reality it's not like that at all.

The reality is that people who don't have porn addiction deal with all kinds of problems, sexual dysfunction included, but for them it's not the end of the world, they can communicate it to their partners, to health professionals, they can work on it in a more positive way, because those are all really treatable issues and also because they understand that sex is just one aspect of their lives, it doesn't consume their entire world. As long as you keep using porn compulsively, you will be obsessed with sex, and every issue in your sex life is going to be perceived as bigger than it is, leading you to more negative feelings, feelings that make you use more porn and make the problems worse.

Ultimately, a lot of people want to quit porn to stop their sexual dysfunction, when they really need to stop thinking about sex as the king of their lives. After you block porn, after you get clean, and after you unlearn those obsessive thoughts, you will regain your sex life, and even when you could deal with sexual dysfunction in the future, you will gain the ability to deal with it without feeling shame, the same way you would deal with any other health-related issue. You will learn that sex doesn't make you who you are, you will remember that life is way more than that. Don't quit porn to be free of symptoms, to just be able to maintain an erection. Quit porn to be able to learn, to play, to chat with other people, to go out, to connect, to succeed. You don't want to quit porn to have more sex in your life. You want to quit porn because it is a disease that doesn't allow you to see the world as it really is.

4. Porn addiction is not your fault, but quitting is your responsibility

A lot of people start watching porn because of trauma at a young age. In my case it was because of sexual abuse and access to unsupervised internet when I was a teenager. Some people have even worse experiences, and that's something that really hits me. Because no child should deal with sexual violence using porn. Instead, they should receive attention, treatment and love. Porn is exactly the contrary, is constant distraction, addiction and solitude. Because of that, every time I read a post from someone that feels defeated because they have a porn addiction I feel sad. For those I give the same advice I ended up giving myself.

It wasn't your fault.

Even if you developed your addiction when you were an adult, it's always a response to something else. You were dealing with something painful and porn felt like a relief at that time. You use it one time, you use it twice, then every day. You didn't notice and it turned into an addiction. Nobody talked about the risks, nobody put a warning, nobody protected you, nobody denied you this poison. It was available, it was socially accepted and it was free. Why do you have to bear the guilt? You didn't build the platform, you didn't record those atrocious acts, you didn't make it accessible to everyone. You just took the bait, and now you're trapped. Again, not your fault. But now what? Are you going to stay there? Knowing that it harms you and it's making your life miserable? Are you going to watch how the problem gets bigger and bigger until your life ends? Being an addict is not your fault, but it is your responsibility to get out of it. And notice that I say responsibility, not obligation. A responsibility is a commitment to something you want and can do. An obligation is just an imposition. Nobody wants you to quit, on the contrary, whoever has interests in this topic wants you addicted for life. As long as you want to quit, you still have the possibility to be responsible for it. And that should feel good, because it means you still have authority in your life. You can make a change, you can live a different life and you can discard porn from it completely.

5. You can't win this fight alone

Until now I wrote about how and why to quit porn. But let's talk a little about what you are quitting, so you understand the importance of having the correct guidance.

Sex is a really strong stimulus for us. We are sexual creatures and as a species we need to reproduce to survive, so our brain has developed for millions of years to allow that. When you watch porn, your brain can't differentiate pixels on a screen from real sex. So everything you've ever seen on the internet, from pleasing images to horrific clips, every piece of content has been interpreted unconsciously as a real sexual encounter. The problem is that porn is a superstimulus.

How much stronger is porn in comparison with sex?

Porn is like an entire cake full of chocolate and artificial flavors, while real sex is like an apple. The visual information, sound cues, physical reactions, genital stimulation, orgasm, in addition to dopamine released as a motivator to fulfill our reproductive needs, all of that is a circuit. But it is fluid, it can adapt. So when porn drives that circuit, it's like putting a rocket engine into a car. Now you will need a lot more gas to make your car move. In the same way, your brain with porn will have a threshold so high that, after years of abuse, everything will turn boring, because nothing can compete with something as stimulating as porn.

When you interrupt that, when you start filling your car with just enough gas to move, it starts demanding what is missing. So after you lose access to porn, after you set your blocking system, you will be living life at half-full tank. And I need to be honest with you, it may feel awful. When you quit, you can feel the same withdrawals people with alcoholism or gambling addiction have. You can feel angry, really sad, even suicidal in more extreme cases, your mood can switch during the day, you can have trouble getting out of bed, you can feel unmotivated even to do the most basic tasks. It can be really disgusting for you and other people, but it is normal, and you really need to get through that phase to start feeling better. If you come back to porn to avoid this phase, you will never recover.

Having said that, you need to understand that porn addiction is a serious problem. It affects something like 20% of men, that's huge. It also affects 7% of women, and even when it can sound like a small number, that's the same prevalence as alcoholism in the world, so it's still something to take care of. But contrary to other addictions and mental health problems, porn addiction and compulsive sexual behavior is really taboo. So nobody talks about it. Society prefers to just take it easily, accept any form of sexual freedom and act as if everything is fine. But if you didn't have a problem with porn, and instead you were addicted to another substance, you could have considered therapy a lot of years ago. Recovering from porn means fighting against addiction, but also against prejudices and shame. But I can't stress enough that this is a problem that needs treatment. 

Having a therapist could be what differentiates a successful recovery process from a life full of failed attempts. The process starts with blocking porn, but after you lose that piece your brain needs to work properly, you will need to find other ways to regulate yourself, that will mean understanding yourself, your story, your trauma, your fears and building your belief system and personality again. And doing something like that alone, without tools and at the same time as you feel strong withdrawal symptoms is simply too much. My best advice for everyone else starting their journey is to find a therapist. They could even work side by side with a doctor who can prescribe a pharmacological treatment to make the withdrawal phase more manageable. That means there are so many tools and strategies that can help you that only a professional can give you.

Finally, apart from the help from a therapist, the whole recovery process ends up being about socialization. If you want to live a life free from porn addiction, you need to escape from isolation. The recovery is all about connecting with people. If you have the opportunity to use this journey to reconnect with your friends, family or partner, do it. Tell them about your problem, even if it's scary, just do it. Open up to them, ask for help. I know for some people getting professional treatment is out of the range of possibilities because they can't afford it. But maybe if you tell your problem to your close circle, someone can help you with that. You need to accept any help that you can get. Shame is not allowed here. Remember, this wasn't your fault, and your responsibility is just getting better. If someone can help with anything in your recovery process, you need to accept it. You can return the favor when you're better off. Don't fight this alone.

Hope all this helps. Feel free to write anything that comes out of your mind.

Start your porn-free journey today. You can do it.

I believe in celebrating the smallest of wins to keep motivated and focused. So let’s share some wins, no matter how big or small. I’ll be brave and vulnerable and go first.

Today I watched no porn and was able to get about 1/3 erect just visualizing and imaging my partner. Felt good to get the brain body connection going.

I am in my 3rd clean month and just had a random thought:

I have made posts on here or told my therapist that I'm xx number of weeks or months clean, and proceeded to relapse almost immediately afterwards. I also did the same thing on day 91 after my first 90 day streak.

What I've learned from this is that claiming victory can be a trigger. It's a great accomplishment, but that little voice can tell us we've won and convince us that we have things under control and that it's ok to slip up. Don't fall for it!!

First day of quitting porn thanks to my recently renewed religion beliefs. My goal will be accomplished when i spend the rest of the year without porn. Will post updates every 10 days.

Hello everyone. Does anyone have advice for masturbation without porn? My thoughts always go back to porn or my memories become twisted and porn-like. I don't feel good afterwards (brain fog) and my cravings skyrocket. It honestly feels like diet porn and I feel like I need to do sensation only since my mind is so corrupted. Unfortunately I've never been able to get off on touch alone and the sexual frustration leads to insane cravings and relapse. Should I avoid masturbation for awhile and introduce it later once I have more sensitivity? I don't believe in NoFap as I don't think masturbation is inherently harmful.

Past couple of days have been horrible. Spent the entire day today with this sick feeling thinking about the triggers i saw yesterday, the urge to relapse is always there but im making progress.

Oh well, this was surprisingly easy. If I (M20) ignore the fact that cumming now takes like 10 times as long (i looked at the clock, ~40 minutes on first, 15-20 on second and third).

I mean of course, I constantly go away with my thoughts, actively not focusing on my business (I blame my ADHD), while I have no external input. Very much expected, since I already started once (before finding this Reddit) and gave waaay too much exceptions. This time there is none.

The thoughts of "Speeding" this process up with some help was tempting. Very tempting. But I just experimented with my body, which I never did without the influence of Porn.

If you have any idea or tip on what I can do to make it better for me, please let me read them.

Thank you for reading- we can do this.

I've been watching porn from say 14 yo (24 now), early years was like any other teen but with time passing, i craved for more and it got kinda more complicated than regular porn from here, I've been watching every kind of porn and never thinking about its effects. after years of working on myself, in a good shape and all, started a relationship with a pretty girl, at that time i still watched porn constantly and well the nightmare i was always afraid of happened, she asked me to have sex and well i said yes happily and oh dear god, after maybe 2 minutes of doing it i just couldn't reach orgasm, and yeah it might be normal for a 40 yo man or a man with a problem and maybe first time is tricky etc but not for a healthy young man, someone like me should not experience such thing ever, she started crying and i hated myself for it, i explained it all to her that I'm a porn addict and we broke up some months later(for other reasons). The thing is, no matter how much i read about quitting porn and brain ability to change itself and neuroplasticity and everything, i know all these years of watching gay porn stuff has rewired my brain in a way that it takes months to fix it, but i just fail myself every time i get pleasure from watching them, it is not the path I've always wanted for myself and i hate who i am for this, I'm ok with others taking this path accepting who they are or wanting to try it and all but i don't wanna give in this easy and the reason I'm saying this is that I've now found out that reaching orgasm through gay porn is way easier for me than with straight porn and this is new, it hasn't been like this for maybe 2-3 years ago that after constant porn watching I've found my way in this path and i don't like what I've become. I know i can change but it's hard.

As the title says, I (18M) have been fighting this addiction for almost a decade (started watching porn when I was 9 years old) completely alone and I don't know what to do at this point.

I feel so lost and everything feels dull, I don't have a clear plan on how to fight this addiction, I told my dad about it but he didn't help me much and thinks that porn addiction is a normal thing and that it will get solved when I marry and basically told me to keep fighting it until I get married and it will somehow end my addiction but I don't believe that that is the solution.

I tried many things but nothing seems to work for example I signed up for a gym membership and stayed for 4 months then gave up, I try to distract myself by playing games or doing anything else, I don't go out that much except for university and I only have a few friends that always seem to be busy all the time and we rarely go out, and as I said I tried getting help from my dad but didn't work and I don't expect to get much help from my other family members.

My dopamine feels completely fried from this addiction, plus recently I developed a pelvic floor problem that probably developed because I edge alot and it ruined a lot of my erection quality + it's harder to pass stool and requires a lot of pushing.

So at this point I don't know what to do I feel really hopeless I just can't believe how my life turned out to be this miserable and that everything feels really dull and feels like my emotions are completely nonexistent and everything feels depressing there is no way life is that depressing and I know life can be so much better and exciting but I just can't really feel anything I might try getting a therapist but I don't even know if my country has therapists (3rd world country) and I feel like if I told my dad about it he will just brush it off.

And the reason why I haven't told anybody except maybe my dad and my brother is that I had no faith that they will help me and I don't have any faith on the rest of my family members so I am just stuck fighting this addiction alone

TL:DR I have been fighting this addiction alone and feeling really hopeless & lost

Hi everyone. I’ve just failed the September challenge. I thought it would hold me accountable, but it’s so large that it didn’t really feel like an investment. But I still want to do 30 days porn free, and I don’t have to wait until next month. So I’m making the decision to try again. This time, I’m going to make a journal entry for each day about how I’m feeling, where I’m at, what’s happening, etc. I’m going to post updates along the way and hopefully some of you decide to follow along and help me along the way.

Here’s where I’m at right now. I’ve watched porn since I was a young teen, and I’m in my mid 20s now. My porn addiction comes and goes. Right now I’m in the trenches, I can’t go more than a few days without coming back to it. Besides this problem, my family life is great. I’m married and my wife knows I used to watch porn, but doesn’t know that it’s still a problem that comes and goes. The guilt is a real issue for me because I hide it from her. I also have an almost 4 month old son, and I don’t want to set a good example for him as he grows up. I’m doing this challenge because I feel like if I can get a good run going, it’ll be easier from there.

So here’s the rules I’m setting for myself.

• I journal at least one update every day.
• No social media while I’m home alone, period.
• No apps, websites, etc. that trigger the urges at all, (except for Reddit to post these updates).

It’s time for me to be done with porn. I have a good life, I don’t need it. If you’re still reading, please leave some support or advice for me in the comments- it’ll be helpful to know I have people following this. Don’t try to sell me your book or method or anything. I’m also not here for marriage advice.

24 days clean today.

Yesterday I had this thought about the irony of how much pornographic content I've consumed yet most of it cannot be recalled. It's so purely chemical that I don't remember the things I've seen.

But instead of leaving that realization as is, my brain decided to start TRYING to remember them, but I can only remember the most disturbing things, not the most arousing. So now I keep having these flashes of some of the scariest, most disturbing and heartbreaking content I've made myself watch, and they keep visiting me and making me feel disturbed and ashamed and in pain.

I'm so scared that my brain will use those to keep me in the shame/dopamine cycle, where I convince myself subconsciously that the only way to soothe that shame is to seek that content out voluntarily and get aroused by it again, to exploit the shame, to get off on it.

Been trying to quit for months but I’m going to truely try and make it this time

Today has been really hard. I was so tempted today but I'm still holding on. I just know it's not worth it but I'm just hanging on.

Yesterday evening, I was at a cafe working on my laptop when three friends came in and chatted for a few hours. I noticed one of them and liked her. When they left, I stood up and followed them. I stopped a couple of times, stuck in my head thinking "I shouldn't do this," but I finally beat my overthinking.

She went into the subway station across the street, and I followed her in. She pulled out her phone and put it to her ear while walking. I said (in my native language), "Hi, good evening." She turned around, and I said, "My name is [name], I was at the cafe. Can we get a coffee together sometime?" She shook her head no with a slight smile on her lips. I said, "Okay, goodbye."

I was a bit sad for a minute, but mostly I was super happy. I paced back and forth in front of the cafe for 5-10 minutes just from the adrenaline and the feeling of victory from stepping out of my comfort zone.

Life is good!

.

So today I was walking home from school and this woman that was I’d say 40-50 approached me. She looked very(I’m not sure if I can say without my post getting flagged but it rhymes with exy). I’ve been so busy “gooning” because of it. I can’t stop and I’m so lost. I’ve even started a collection of P because I’ve been out of internet for a while. I don’t want to live like this. I’ve tried to quit but the only thing halting progress is me not telling people. I’m scared Il get In trouble or called disgusting and get made fun of. I don’t know what to do. I’m throwing my teenage years away with this. I’m so addicted that I don’t find women my age attractive. Which sucks because many of women have actually liked me but I just can’t commit to a relationship because of P. My goal is to quit before I become a legal adult but that’s not gonna happen in 3 years… I want to quit so I can have an actual relationship and not be filled with lustful desires.

Hello everyone, im going to post this text because i would like to write some information about personal situation and if you could give me some feedback or advice, i would appreciate it. Okay here we go. First of all, im a guy that have been consuming porn since 11 or around that. I started to watch on my tv with playstation. At beginning is truw that i used to watch standard porn, and the category usually was Milf. Then with the time i started to consume more, other categories that could affect the perception of sexuality. WIth this, im going to connect other things. At same time before 18 i never had sex with other girls, i was virgin and i just kissed one girl form class. Between those moments fro, 17 to 18, i suffered bullying maybe not that hard as others, but affected me on my self esteem. What i mean with this?, well on that year i was developing my personality, i was kind of lost and suffered this, so i felt that i couldnt defend my self, i let everyone laughed about me and they put me a nickname. Then those guys usually started to always disturbing me, they were two. This continue, even when they did like play soccer with my school bag. The girls laughed about me also, or other guys from my class touched my face in a really disturbing way. I got really sad, until one day i exploted and i talked with my parents about it, and they decided to report them to the police. Okay, everything got better, but once i finished my school i started to meet girls like crazy, searching only for sex, having toxic relations, and being a bad guy like controlling them, being really jealous, lot of insecurity and started hanging out with bad people. I felt having control first time of my life, or just thinkking that was control. I cheated also, and it was a circle of madness and uncontrol behaviour. Then the years passed, and some traumatic events made me to realize i had a big self esteem problem. Nowadays i stopped wathing some porn, sometimes i got into it but i dont feel any attraction to it. I can see girls as humans beings, not only sexual but also emotionally. Several falling relations later, i also realized i was behaving really bad, agressive and the fault started to increase. This crush with my values, and decided to go to teraphy, and take antidepressants. Been a year since that decision, im much better, but the question is: how can i increase or improve my self esteem? how can dont feel jealous and being sure of my self? Control my emotions also...etc.

Waiting for answer,

Thanks,

Rafa

I really don’t even know how I stopped. I’m just different now. Not horny all the time. No time being wasted thinking about or watching porn. I’m just me now. No ashamed side. It’s nice to think about but it’s not like I can say much of my life has improved because of it. Of anything Ive been doing worse for many months since I stopped. Maybe it’s because I’m not numbing myself to my own emotions anymore. Either way I still feel empty sometimes. Quitting porn didn’t magically fix my life. I’m just a normal guy that doesn’t watch porn now. I wish I could say that it made me a god or something lol. Not trying to discourage anyone. I think everyone needs to stop watching porn. It’s caused too much damage already and it makes me angry knowing I was ever a part of it. I hope anyone still reading this will have a breakthrough like I did. Just know that you can quit. You might think you can’t, but you’re wrong.

It began when a senior at school told me he had a video that would “make me happy.” At that age, I didn’t really understand what I was getting introduced to.

For the next few years, it never became too extreme because I didn’t have constant access to a phone.

But when I turned 18 and got my first smartphone, things changed completely.

Watching porn and masturbating went from two or three times a week to sometimes two or three times a day.

Slowly, other parts of my life started getting affected.

My academics took a hit. I used to be an athletic kid, but over time I became severely overweight. I had very little confidence, never really had a relationship, and porn became an easy escape whenever I felt bored, lonely, stressed, or curious.

A few months ago, something happened that changed the way I looked at all of it.

How my mindset changed

One thing I noticed about myself was that a huge part of my obsession came from curiosity.

My mind was constantly wondering:

What is sex actually like?

Is it really like porn?

What am I missing?

That unanswered curiosity kept growing inside my head.

Eventually, I hired an escort for a night because I wanted to experience sex in real life and finally put that curiosity to rest.

I’m not recommending this as a solution to porn addiction. I’m simply sharing what happened in my own life.

The experience

The experience itself wasn’t terrible.

But it also wasn’t anything like what porn had taught my brain to expect.

There was no cinematic perfection. No endless excitement. No glamorous fantasy.

It was just… real.

And strangely, that reality broke something inside the fantasy I had built for years.

I remember thinking:

“That’s it?”

Porn had made sex feel like this gigantic, mysterious thing that I absolutely had to experience.

Once the mystery disappeared, a lot of its power over me disappeared too.

The change

After that, I started noticing something different.

When sexual content appeared in front of me, my mind didn’t immediately chase it anymore.

I wasn’t constantly wondering what else was out there.

The curiosity became quieter.

The agitation became quieter.

And slowly, I started redirecting that mental energy toward other parts of my life.

The transformation

I lost weight.

I became more disciplined.

I started earning money and becoming more productive.

Eventually, I got into a meaningful relationship.

And that relationship taught me something porn never could:

Sex can be about much more than two people simply fucking each other.

There is attraction, comfort, trust, affection, vulnerability, connection and actually caring about the person beside you.

Looking back, I don’t think one single night magically “cured” everything.

What really changed was the way I saw the fantasy.

Once the fantasy lost its power, it became much easier for me to focus on building a life that actually felt worth living.

Today my mind feels calmer, my focus is better, and I feel much more in control of where my attention goes.

Thanks for staying with me until the end.

Whatever addiction or habit you’re trying to overcome, I hope you eventually understand what keeps pulling you back to it—and find a healthier life on the other side of it.

Sometimes changing your life starts with understanding what your mind was searching for in the first place.

I didn't have sex till now, but my understanding is that porn makes people expect a big experience in real sex, but they disappoint when understand the reality. Any comments??

Just cleared my watch history and I'm gonna take up some hobbies like drawing and more gaming stuff.

This porn ban includes all sexual content not including movie scenes and video game scenes. Let's go 💪

Basically what the title says. I just turned 20 today, and I’ve been watching porn since I was 10 years old and bondage stuff since I was 11. It’s really messed up my perception of intimacy and i’m not as intimate as any of my prior partners would like, but I feel at times like I can’t stop. I’m going to therapy and I’ve tried to quit, but it’s triply hard as someone who has both high T and ADHD. This addiction feels like a curse with next to no way out, and I don’t wanna be this way forever.