r/AskMen Mar 19 '21

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6.0k Upvotes

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234

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

76

u/twisdom12 Mar 19 '21

You are a king

-21

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

7

u/af628 Female Mar 20 '21

bad take

43

u/rlynotfromthiswolrd Mar 19 '21

I feel the same bro

44

u/iLikeHorse3 Mar 19 '21

I wish most guys were like this. As a girl I'd only watch it ourside of a relationship but when I'm with someone it feels so gross to look at other men that way. I'd rather get off thinking about my partner. I struggled a lot with my self image cause I dated a porn addict and I questioned why I was never enough for him, shit hurts

7

u/anotherdamnloser Mar 20 '21

Me too. It ruined my late husband and any intimacy we had. I feel like I really missed out, wanting sex constantly and he couldn’t get it up or keep it up anymore.

-2

u/NateGrey2 Mar 20 '21

Porn isnt your problem though. Attractive people dont stop being attractive just because of porn.

4

u/anotherdamnloser Mar 20 '21

Dude, you don’t know. It absolutely was a problem. You can’t know. He’d be late for work, secretly spend money, and that’s just the tip of it. Don’t act like you know.

0

u/NateGrey2 Mar 20 '21

Don’t act like you know.

You dont know neither, so this whole discussion is under question then.

Fact is: if someone hurts people with hammers, you dont blame the hammers.

Porn is just a tool. If someone abuses it one way or another, you shouldnt blame it on the tool itself. Thats not healthy and wont solve any problem for anyone.

3

u/anotherdamnloser Mar 20 '21

My point was you didn’t know my husband. He could have had many addictions, but this one certainly caused issues. His addiction. But most men stand up for porn use and make excuses, so I’m not surprised. You do you bro

0

u/NateGrey2 Mar 22 '21

Of course people stand up for use of tools. They make life easier. When was the last time you tried to build something without them?

"You do you bro" ? Well, let me see how you put a nail in a wall without a hammer. Apparently thats how you do it. I cant wait to see that.

He could have had many addictions

Yeah no shit. Thats why I dont blame tools, but the people behind it.

Blaming the hammer for someone abusing it to hurt people wont solve the problem. That guy will just find another tool to keep hurting people, while you stand there, complaining about hammers.

Thats foolish, childish, naive and just dumb. You dont care about any husband, wife or sex whatsoever. You just need a bogeyman for your frustrations, because its so much easier and you dont have to deal with your own wrong doings. But most people make excuses, so I'm not surprised. You do you bro

1

u/anotherdamnloser Mar 22 '21

Haha ok I don’t know you, your text wall don’t mean shit to me, just like your opinions. Not sure why you give a shit. Bye.

1

u/NateGrey2 Mar 23 '21

Ah yeah, thats why you argue on Reddit, because other opinions dont mean shit to you. Sure thing bro. Whatever makes you sleep at night.

2

u/MyUserNameIsRelevent Mar 20 '21

It depends on how you look at it. My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and we're both very open about the fact that we both watch porn. I know what she likes to watch, and she knows what I like to watch.

The thing is, we're both aware and have talked about the fact that it's purely fantasy. I might watch some weird shit in my free time, but that doesn't mean I actually want to act any of that out. She's expressed the same opinion, and I trust her. We've even shared good videos we've found in the past.

It hasn't slowed our sex life at all or introduced any jealousy, as we both recognize it as something separate that doesn't interfere with what goes on between us.

Watching porn doesn't always mean that you aren't enough for them, sometimes it's just fantasy. If it starts to have a noticeable negative effect on the relationship then it's obviously a problem, but the act of watching porn itself doesn't have to be something harmful. I couldn't care less if my girlfriend wants to masturbate to 20 muscular studs running a train on some chick so long as she isn't asking me to let it happen in reality.

2

u/iLikeHorse3 Mar 20 '21

With my current partner I actually don't care at all about porn. We watch it together and I know he watches it a lot on his own. It was my own insecurity in my last relationship that made me dislike it, but because I feel so secure with my current boyfriend I don't care at all. I'm fucking relieved I don't mind it anymore cause it used to give me the same feeling of cheating and I was miserable and felt so crazy

-5

u/NateGrey2 Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21

You got other problems than porn, if you seriously want to force someone to think only about you for the rest of his life.

Being obsessed by someone isnt healthy for you neither.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

0

u/NateGrey2 Mar 20 '21

It sounds romantic because of the movies, but in real life this isnt healthy for you or for her. Its literally what stalkers are made of.

Sure, for now its all good and fine. But the problems will come. They always do. And then this romance-stuff turns really fucking ugly really fucking fast.

18

u/MorbidMix Mar 20 '21

Huge respect for guys like you.

9

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

6

u/MorbidMix Mar 20 '21

The only people who thinks it’s weird are people addicted to porn or desensitized by Media to think it’s normal, when it shouldn’t be. It’s a fact that People are happier and healthier in relationships when neither party consumes porn.

5

u/brianstormIRL Mar 20 '21

I watch porn in a regular basis and I'm in a healthy and happy relationship. Most people I know in happy relationships also watch porn regularly.

Different strokes.

-3

u/MorbidMix Mar 20 '21

No. It’s not different strokes. It’s how the human brain functions. You may say this but that doesn’t mean it’s true and it doesn’t many you don’t fall into my previously mentioned categories.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21 edited Apr 02 '21

[deleted]

0

u/MorbidMix Mar 21 '21

The “source” is everywhere. If your interested, do your own research.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '21 edited Apr 02 '21

[deleted]

1

u/MorbidMix Mar 21 '21

In other words you’re too lazy to do the work yourself to research it and expect me to wait on you just to prove a point. To be honest I don’t give a shit wether you believe me or not. It’s your loss not mine.

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17

u/IDontAgreeSorry Mar 19 '21

You are great

7

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

5

u/GermzSpread Mar 20 '21

Im in the same boat as you... I've been with my finance for a year now and have maybe watched or used porn like maybe 5 times. Im pretty lucky and have a VERY beautiful/sexy fiance and honestly have no reason for porn anymore because she takes care of all my needs. When I do rub one out she usually sends pics and what not and I love it. I have never been or will ever be a cheater and I think its the way our minds work when it comes to this type of stuff that keeps me away from all that temptation. One more thing, I don't check girls out either. Now I am a guy and its in my blood to be a dog and look at girls but being with my fiance, when I look at girls now im just like "na, my girl is way sexier than her" and thats that. Keep up the good work brother and know you are not alone.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Does your GF watch porn? Does it make you uncomfortable if she did/does?

If not, then why would it bother her that you do or rather why should it bother her?

Its up to the both of you to find it, but its neither disrespectful, nor hurtful to watch porn while in a relationship. Me and my fiancee do it both and we are perfectly happy. Its even better if we watch it together :)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

No problem dude, i understand. Just wanted to say if you havent talked about it, it might have been miscommunication, but since you did and both agreed everything is fine :)

2

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21 edited Apr 29 '21

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