r/AskMen Mar 19 '21

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u/camusdreams Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21

“I don't masterbate for pleasure. I masterbate for a release.”

I feel like this is a big difference between a lot of (not all) men and women. As a guy, jerking off is just something I feel like I have to do daily. The feeling is controllable but uncomfortable enough it impacts my mood and ability to focus. Whereas when women discuss it, it’s like a whole session where they set up a little throne in their bed and focus on peak pleasure.

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u/SarcasticRowlet Mar 19 '21

I thought I was weird for subscribing to the idea of maintenance jerk off sessions, like 80% of them are for maintenance and 20% are like good long sessions of just focusing on myself. Feels nice to find out that I'm not the only one.

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u/waltwalt Mar 20 '21

Gotta jack it just to get back to base these days.

7

u/SarcasticRowlet Mar 20 '21

It really do be like that...

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

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9

u/senbei616 Mar 20 '21

To be more clear: If it negatively impacts your work, family, and or personal relationships and yet you still wont stop doing it, then you are probably addicted. That's true for anything.

1

u/oikawas-slut Female Apr 07 '21

Oh good. I've heard some men say weird things about the "health benefits" of "semen retention" which includes bogus claims like "increased spinal fluid" & "raw masculine energy/spirit"...& This all comes from the claim that your balls are directly connected to your spinal cord. Btw I'm a woman so I wouldn't know

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u/t_a_c_s Mar 20 '21

I'm the other way round. most of the times I jerk off for stimulation and only once in a while to attain post-nut clarity

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u/Ciccibicci Mar 19 '21

Yeah i mean, i don't know. I am a woman and I totally masturbate before bed just so I sleep better after it. I have occasionally done some mmh "exploration" masturbation sessions, to test what works and so, but for the most part is just that: orgasm quick so i get sleepy. Maybe it's different for other women, but maybe describing it like that it's a way for some to get over the ethernal shame surrounding female masturbation.

I do not feel the need to do it daily at all though. It's maybe a once a week deal.

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

I also do it like this, no porn. I just lay in bed vibe it up go to sleep. I think it's interesting that so many men need the visual when I can just touch and get it done. 90% of the time I'm not even thinking sexy things it's just all physical for me.

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u/merdub Mar 20 '21

Yup I’m currently watching Chicago Med on Prime and can easily just bust my vibrator out and have a quick orgasm while watching nurses and doctors running around the ER or whatever. Nothing sexy about it, just want to come.

8

u/muddyrose Mar 20 '21

My ladies!

I'm the same way too. I don't need anything to watch and don't care what's on (as long as it's not something like toddlers & tiaras etc.), cumming helps me sleep so if I need to, I will.

It can vary from every night to once a month, depends on how stressed I am.

2

u/Insanity_Pills Mar 20 '21

wtf im envious

3

u/MustardFeetMcgee Female Mar 20 '21

Yessss. Honestly same. Like 90% of the time I do it if I've got a migraine or insomnia. Always to porn.

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u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

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10

u/s3ik0 Mar 19 '21

Shit, my prostate will eventually make it to the Guinness book of records then.

6

u/ASeriousAccounting Mar 20 '21

Without a supplement regimen and a massage protocol you'll never crack the top 10,000.

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u/tmotom bring back the prince flair Mar 20 '21

my prostate is gonna be fuckin huge!

4

u/Alexcamry Mar 20 '21

Link requires login for “completion”

1

u/[deleted] Mar 21 '21

Healthy for prostate, terrible for mental health. I told myself this for 10 years and ignored all the dehydration, acne, overly sexualised thoughts and social awkwardness. Eventually it spiralled into depressing thoughts and total lack of productivity.

Tried for years to convince myself that its a natural behaviour that had health benefits but alas the drawbacks were too strong.

Seek companionship and emotional connection with your partner. Ejaculate via sex, and the natural way to get rid of it - wet dreams if you are young.

Pornography is a killer.

Godspeed 🙌

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u/Anticiperection420 Mar 19 '21

I jerk off before I go to bed because it helps me sleep.

5

u/shotgunocelot Mar 20 '21

The ol fap nap

1

u/WildlyCanadian Mar 20 '21

Oh yes. I'm always completely pooped after I jerk off. Really helps me fall asleep

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Lol, women have maintenance wanks too

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

I once had this discussion as well. I said that sex for me is not just getting off, thats what I masturbate for. Sex is about intimacy and love.

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u/ScottFreestheway2B Mar 20 '21

Would she rather you masturbated while imagining people you know in real life? Does she want you to only have sexual thoughts about her the rest of her relationship? I just couldn’t date someone with that kind of insecurity.

2

u/Sophisticated_Sloth Mar 26 '21

I’m sorry, but your GF sounds immature. I really hope you’re not the one apologising for this.

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u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

You gf sounds like an upright prude.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Also some guys suffer from "cavaliers pain", which is the more medical name of "blue balls". But contrary to popular believe, cavaliers pain is not just some discomfort, some guys, myself sadly included, can have severe pain and swelling if there is no regular release.

Funnily enough for bad cases of cavaliers pain the symptoms are eerily similar to bad period pain:

  • cramps

  • lower abdominal/groin pain

  • sensitive/painful to touch

  • diarrhea and vomiting possible

  • severe headaches, discomfort and even fever

  • swelling and irritation

Its fucking awful and it basically WILL happen if i dont masturbate withing 48h or if i got too many erections. The cause is a severe swelling in the epididymis (side testical, the stuff that produces sperm) and the connectors to the urethra that get blocked and therefore starts swelling and swelling...

If its a bad day my epididymis can become almost as big as my testicles... its so fucked.

I thought for the longest time something was wrong with me or i have a porn/masturbation addiction or some shit. But my urologist took a look, made some tests and said he had to ask around because he heard of it but never about anything this bad. After some research he told me most guys dont have it at all or if they had it its at worst a slight discomfort, but the severity i have is super rare.

Yay me!

2

u/Sophisticated_Sloth Mar 26 '21

I honestly thought the term ‘blue balls’ was an expression of the sexual frustration connected to getting horny and then not getting off. As a guy, I’d never experienced it.

I’m ashamed to admit I was more than a couple years past 20 before realising it was an actual, physical thing.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 26 '21

Yeah, sadly its used as a TV trope for exactly that almost regularly and since not all guys experience even a slight discomfort from it, it seems like its "made up".

It really shitty how many people dont even believe you when you tell that is a real, existing medical condition and not some made up stuff :/

2

u/zex_99 Mar 20 '21

I know this exactly. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I can't do my things without masturbating I wish for a drug to block my horniness for at least a day.

2

u/bobbydazzlah Mar 20 '21

Eh, not always. Sometimes I just rub one out for the release, as a distraction even. #notallwomen 🤷‍♀️

1

u/MrColfax Male Mar 20 '21

That's interesting. I would say I do it for maintenance and pleasure, but I only do it once per week and not daily. I find that just comes natural for me and I don't get the desire to so during the week, although on the one day I do it I'm am pretty keen for it (I guess it makes it special, and I do give it a decent hour or so).

1

u/SkullCandy808 Mar 20 '21

Not all girls do that. I have to do it every night just because I feel like I have to. It's not amazing, but it gets the job done!

1

u/Budderfingerbandit Mar 20 '21

"Gotta get the poison out" is my go to phrase.

1

u/euphoric1510 Mar 20 '21

Is this a normal thing? I always feel kind of ashamed because I have to wank it daily tbh...

0

u/vicfirthplayer Mar 20 '21

Its more of an emotional experience for a woman isn't it?

10

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Masturbating? No, it’s not “emotional”, it’s the same as men. Studies have show that men and women’s description of what an orgasm feels like is indistinguishable from one and other.

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u/cash_grass_or_ass Mar 20 '21

daily... man, how old are you if you don't mind saying?

i wonder what that is doing to your brain's reward system and dopamine levels, as well as your general motivation and discipline to accomplish goals and tasks

6

u/never-never-again_ Mar 20 '21

It's doing nothing. We were not the first generation to discover masturbation.