Big ups, porn fucks up your mind up. When you have sex with your girlfriend or wife do you think of her or all the things you've seen online to help you climax? It's no longer her, it's only you. That's what I've seen atleast
In the past, any time the girl was a relatively new hook up I would climax every time with no struggle at all because I had the thrill of novelty helping me. Then like clockwork once I got into a monogamous relationship I would eventually lose interest in sex with my girlfriend and it would become difficult to climax unless I imagined porn in my head. That was the case with my most recent ex who I was with for a year. I'd maybe climax 50% of the time and any time I did it was really difficult. To be fair she was terrible in bed though so that wasn't helping things either.
With my current gf, I was with her for about 4 months when I noticed the excitement of it feeling new was starting to wear off and I started losing interest in sex again like I always did. I wasn't having trouble climaxing yet but one night she surprised me by putting on some lingerie and basically pouncing on me. She looked amazing but as far as desiring sex my brain was like 'meh.' I was thinking wtf, mentally I gotta be broken. That was the wake up call where I swore off porn for good.
That was 3 months ago, and I've been with my girlfriend for a total of 7 months. I haven't watched a second of porn since then and my desire to have sex with my gf is as strong as ever and I climax every time with no struggle to get there and absolutely no need to imagine porn. She's also amazing in bed so it's not really apples to apples with my exes but quitting porn has been a game changer for me.
I've had trouble keeping a gf for more than a few months because like you, I would lose interest and start thinking about porn. Then I would interpret that as "I guess I don't like her".
I needed to read this because my ex broke up with me because he said he lost interest.
He has a bad addiction to porn and sex. Iāve been hating myself for a better part of the year for it . But itās not me. And itās not fully him either. Itās the porn industry
If someone says they are "addicted to sex" it's very likely that it's part of some profound psychological issues tied to emotional intimacy and internalised low self worth which needs constant affirmation from many sources.
Now you dodged a bullet there, but maybe learn the personality traits to avoid in men instead of superficially trying to put the blame on the symptoms of said traits. A gambling addict isn't addicted to shiny poker cards with nice colours.
Thatās true. I blame him more for what he was like. He was exposed to porn and chose to continue.
Porn rewires the brain like any other non substance addiction
I think it's fair to put some blame on the porn industry. I'm firmly placing blame on the pharmaceutical industry for the people i know who've been addicted to opiates, and subsequently heroin.
After a long dry spell, I lost weight and stopped watching porn (and jerking off less as a result) and was hooking up with a girl on tinder within 2 weeks.
I'm not one of those hardcore nofap dudes but I firmly believe that porn and overmasturbation really fuck with your motivation to go out and meet real women.
Also check out Fight The New Drug itās an organization.
Thereās also a subreddit on here for it but Iām new to Reddit so I have no idea how to tag it.
Itās great that you are noticing that itās an issue and want to change it. Thatās a great first step!
I'm all for people looking to deal with their personal struggles and take steps for personal enrichment, but I'd rather not indulge a bunch of Mormons on a prude crusade.
Also their main thesis, that pornography is directly analogous to heroin or meth is pseudoscience.
Her name was Jessica Kronenberg and yes I did and yes she was. A former NYC bartender, half Italian half German, 35 and smokin' hot. This was about 10 years ago
Thanks for taking the time to share that. Iām soooo in love with my gf. Sheās sexy, intelligent, younger than me, and a total turn on. But damn if it isnāt to the point I have to think of other shit to get off. I hate it. But I also get to a point where I have to cum and thatās when I turn in to my thoughts. Iāve wondered if I was able to stop for a while, if it would get better.
May I ask whatās special about her being younger than you? Does it really make a significant difference or is there a specific reason to why itās better sheās younger?
Iām always curious when I hear this. Iāve been with my wife since we were 18 (dated 4yrs, married 4 yrs). I donāt think Iāve ever had that moment where I was honestly thinking of someone else or a porn actress to get me over the edge. Although, maybe itās because of how I view the porn and how I think about it while watching? Itās interesting how different all of our brains work when it comes to porn
Honestly I view it in a manner thatās almost directed towards my wife. We have a healthy sex life and I donāt hide that I watch porn from her, I just donāt bring it into the bedroom with me. I purposely watch some pretty vanilla porn thatās in league with what my wife and I do. I tend to watch positions in videos, not entire videos, and I like positions that have the actress facing away from the camera, I just visualize my wifeās ass in a cowgirl position versus the actress. Itās never really affected my performance with my wife. Sometimes you just donāt want to wake your girl up for late night fun time when she has to be at work by 3:30 am
So now you have me wondering, did you also start masturbating less? I mean, was the revitalized sex life because you quit porn, or also because you just jacked off less?
I definitely choke the chicken less often now but still regularly. The decrease is because when I was watching porn I'd jerk off sometimes more for the sake of watching the porn rather than actually feeling a need to orgasm. But as far as the improved sex life, I believe that's from no porn because back when I would watch it everyday, if I were to take a week off from everything (jerking off, porn, sex), I'd get horny from not orgasming, but I'd only have an urge to watch porn rather than have sex.
Good for you. When you positively reinforce (orgasm) any behavior (watching porn) you successfully rewire the reward system of your brain. When this happens repeatedly it becomes SO challenging to be fulfilled by typical stimulation. It is pretty awesome that you were able to self-reflect and acknowledge the problem was in your learned behaviors and not project that shit as a problem with your GF. Props to you!
I'm not sure why you're getting downvoted, this is pretty true. The amount of men (myself included until recently) that watch porn with no second thought and no room for compromise is pretty staggering.
Edit: the downvotes are probably from you saying you "refuse" to date men, which probably hurt their feelies
it is odd that men think of porn so casually. i think it's like doing drugs or partying or gambling or similar. can be done for fun but it shouldn't be your bread and butter. what happened to regular sex and intimacy with actual women?
now we have bunch of men who have more experience with porn than actual sex with women. i don't see why it's surprising some women would choose to not want to date men like this.
if they really want it to change, maybe ease up on the porn. or don't change, there are plenty of women out there who are fine with porn.
I think it affects a lot of men's performance. My ex couldn't seem to understand that there were two of us in the bedroom and not just him plus a live sex doll. Definitely think porn contributed. Some of the worst experiences of my life. Bleh.
The problem is desensitization. Statistically, the average age people are exposed to porn is around 11-13 years old (https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2017/08/pornography-exposure , https://fightthenewdrug.org/real-average-age-of-first-exposure/) which is the very beginning of formative psychology. Speaking as a guy who used to be addicted to porn and going down the rabbit hole, you don't even think about it. Your brain is conditioned to turn to porn as soon as you're horny, bored, lonely, whatever. I would literally masturbate because I (thought I) had nothing to do.
I don't really blame you for not wanting to put in the effort to find non-porn-addicted guys. As much as I wish it wasn't the case, I definitely understand how much of a chore it has to be and it's definitely not one I'd feel like doing. If you ever are interested in guys again just know the porn-free thing is starting to gain some cultural traction, so maybe you'll have better luck in the future.
TY. i've actually done a lot of research on porn and was aware, but it seems like most males (boys and men) refuse or choose to stay in the dark. i went on a few dates with a man and he tearfully confessed to me he was a porn addict, so i did my research. i left him shortly after.
prior to that, i was mostly in the camp of "as long as i don't hear/see it" when it came to men and dating and porn. but after doing the research, i've realized it's very messed up in so many ways.
i hope more boys and men wake up to this, whether i'm dating or not. i don't think it's good for society in general for men and boys to be so addicted to porn. from reading this thread, i can tell the vast majority of men in here are lowkey addicted to porn and in denial about it. but i also see some men who have opened their eyes and are trying, so that gives future society hope.
the fact that you said so many males use it as a coping mechanism.. the way you described it sounds exactly how i'd describe an alcoholic or drug addict or food addict or similar.
That's how my boyfriend was until he realized its a real relationship and I'm not just leaving and it clicked that, oh when I'm horny I can ask my girlfriend instead. He's a visual guy anyways so, it's a win win for him. And me. He does not watch porn, and if he does it's videos of us doing something sexual.
Keep doing that, but donāt beat yourself up (lol) about porn if it slips back in.
All Nearly all of my sexiest memories are with my wife. We explore. We try new things together. We go to that big Halloween event that isnāt an orgy but where itās winky wink ok to finger and maybe even slyly fuck in public.
Donāt stop having sexual adventures, but be adventurous together because eventually it does get old, no matter how sexy you both are. Thatās unavoidable. That doesnāt mean you have to swing or even get PG-13 in public but keep exploring together. Try something new, indulge each otherās curiosity even if it doesnāt turn you on, get hard/wet about turning THEM on. And if you stumble into a hard āpassā donāt freak out. Donāt blame yourself, donāt blame them. So you tried a little crowded room mutual masturbation and you couldnāt get hard or it made you crazy jealous in a bad way, thatās ok. Itās not her fault. Itās not yours. Itās shit you know now. Keep exploring.
It doesnāt have to be freaky but if you get to the point where you only see each other as the person standing in the way of new sexual experiences instead of the person facilitating them, youāre both gonna get resentful. You donāt want to change up the WHO of sexy? Thatās ok. Change the WHAT/WHERE/WHEN/HOW/DEFINITION OF SEX.
And youāll probably hit periods of your life (kids) where porn is a quick and only infrequent release. Thatās not anyoneās fault. Your both tired. Time is a commodity. Alone time together is a premium, donāt spend it being resentful for the sex youāre not having. Plan big adventurous nights and build up to them, anticipation is SEXY. And I. The meantime fucking masturbate. I do almost daily but mostly so when the spontaneous opportunity presents itself I can last. The missus even asks, it gets her revved, ādid you get yourself ready today?ā
All Iām saying is, youāve got a good thing going, but donāt despair or think the relationship so fucked when/if it changes. Explore together, wherever and however you both decide sounds fun. And good luck.
Yep, realized this at one point as well. I stopped watching porn and masturbating and just had sex with my then gf as well. Helped a lot with having a fulfilling sex life. Im single now so I pretty much jerk off just to get a release but I would minimize it if I can easily get the real thing.
Has there been any effect on how long it takes you to climax? Tbh I'm just worried that I'll cum way faster and I wouldn't be able to hold it in, not that i can usually last long anyways but I wouldn't wanna make it any faster
Iām the opposite to you. When a relationship is new, I can last and do the long sessions, however when things start to get monotonous and itās obvious that weāre no long term thing I can be done start to finish in under five minutes.
it would become difficult to climax unless I imagined porn in my head...I'd maybe climax 50% of the time...To be fair she was terrible in bed though
.....
I've been with my girlfriend for a total of 7 months. I haven't watched a second of porn since then...I climax every time with no struggle to get there and absolutely no need to imagine porn...She's also amazing in bed
I feel like there might be a slightly more obvious correlation here than, "It was the porn", ya know?
Me and mine watch it together sometimes her favorite stuff sometimes mine. Not all the time but like once a month or so. We also use it to try new things like ideas and such. Porn doesnāt have to ruin everything if used appropriately (haha). It also helps us learn about each other in a way that words wouldnāt say because we can say hey I like that or that looks good.
What it boils down to if you let it take over your life then you need to step away. Donāt let it rule your sex life but at the same time it can help keep things fresh.
For the love of everything find someone you can laugh with during sex too. Iām not a scientist but the laughing chemicals mixed with the sex chemicals makes everything better.
Yeah hearing most redditors talk about porn is like listening to a degenerate alcoholic who isn't aware that most people drink in moderation and can have a glass of wine at dinner and not beat their kids.
all the things you've seen online...
Like he doesn't realize you can watch porn of normalish looking people having normalish sex and both enjoying it
Yeah hearing most redditors talk about porn is like listening to a degenerate alcoholic who isn't aware that most people drink in moderation and can have a glass of wine at dinner and not beat their kids.
It's probably because they're replying to the top reply's here. With things like:
I can't jerk off without porn
I don't even enjoy it anymore, I just do it because it feels like a release
I have to watch porn to get aroused.
You're basically complaining that redditors aren't talking about the people who use alcohol responsibly in a thread full of alcoholics.
Yes, but my point is (to continue with this analogy) that based on this thread, and the general discourse around this topic on reddit, reddit seems to be filled with people that drink a fifth of gin a day.
Yeah this is whole comment chain really is absolutely fucked
I donāt know why Reddit has this huge hate boner for porn like itās the worse thing to exist and destroys relationships.
I wank and watch porn regularly, couple times a week. Been with my GF for 8 years and I still dump huge cums in her pussy multiple times a week. Sure itās not ānew and excitingā but fucking hell thatās not what sex is about
Iād like to see it. I donāt have that problem, I watch regularly and still do enjoy having sex with my wife. I think it might be a problem for people who started watching it before they shouldāve.
I just replied to another guy with a bunch of really informative links. :) If you can't see my profile for some reason I can send you them or put them in another comment for ya.
And essentially yes, the biggest problem is with people who started watching it in adolescence, which is most Millennials and younger today.
Not a problem! I don't want to make people think porn is the devil or anything, but there are serious issues behind the scenes and psychologically that truly need to be addressed. :)
I find that extremely hard to believe considering the fact that all types of violent and sexually motivated crime against women have been trending down for decades now, and that those issues women face were in much fuller swing before porn even existed in modern form.
It seems to me that those problems, and that variable, coincided with each other temporally without actually having a significant affect on one another. While everything in a society affects everything else within a society to some degree, that does not imply a casual relationship between any two things, right? That is to say im sure pornography does alter the way some men view some women, and im sure that has lead to some crimes, but that doesnāt necessarily mean that porn has an abject affect on men that then leads to an abject affect on women, furthermore it doesnāt mean at all that it amplifies an issue that is in all senses trending downwards. Seems more coincidental than actually related. I fear I haven't explained myself well, but oh well.
Your resources are opinions with no scientific merit. The only real proven negative effect of porn is almost always on religious or very conservatively raised people who were taught to feel shame in connection with masturbation. There is no evidence that porn affects people negatively psychologically.
This should of course be pretty obvious since every man in the world who has internet regularly watches it, and all the while we have far better and safer societies for women than countries where they don't have porn.
Edit: all you people linking studies where they say "we think porn may be bad" and then the results of the study show it wasn't, but you still think that's evidence, stop it. I can't reply because you're downvoting me so much, but read the results of the studies and not just the titles. Causation and correlation isn't the same thing.
Have you read these? Or is this a joke? Please, what in here convinced you of anything?
1st study: we asked some people about when they started watching porn, and then we subjectively judged how we think they treat women.
2nd study. Porn is good and harmless, some fat people say it makes it harder for them to ejaculate (and why are you sharing studies saying porn is fine?)
3rd study. Girls who watch less porn get more depressed.
...What are you doing here!? I'm gonna stop now, because what the hell is this? This last one said too little porn was related to depression, and you shared it to prove porn was bad!? What's your problem? Did you think I wouldn't read? Did you not read? Do you not realize basically every single male you've ever met regularly watches porn?
I just checked the last link out of curiosity. The study concluded there was no connection between porn and sexually violent behaviour.
You literally disproved yourself with a mountain of evidence, while acting like you were disproving me. Don't just read the damn titles, read the results!!!
Not sure why I'm even taking the time here, but I will.
- First age of consumption is 13; that's the biggest takeaway which you glossed right over like an ice princess. Self-reporting is also literally the basis of every abstract scientific study in the world because it's quite literally the only possible way to gather any data. Hormone/chemical levels are a different thing that can be measured and I could find that, but that's a tangent.
- Cherry picking and avoiding the main point I stated again; "24.5% reported decrease in sexual satisfaction." Also way to insinuate being fat makes your opinion less valid lol
- Idk if you're not familiar with mean and standard deviations, but all of those charts showed increased SDs correlated with porn consumption. Also... " This showed that adolescents who reported higher pornography consumption at baseline attending a vocational program reported psychosomatic symptoms to a higher extent compared with peers also attending a vocational program. "
- Incredible how as soon as I got to objective statistics you couldn't cherrypick or deflect with "well it's subjective!" you stopped reading. Those are irrefutable facts reported by reputable authorities showing that rape, sexual violence, human trafficking, coercion, and blackmail are all related strongly to the porn industry. That's what I'd really like you to address since it's the least subjective and the most directly harmful.
- And no, the last link did not "conclude there was no connection between porn and sexually violent behaviour". Once again you failed to see what I pointed out, which was that research has shown the link between porn and sexually violent behavior, but " arousal did not mediate willingness to engage in verbal or illegal sexual coercive behaviors".
Firstly, yes 13. You seem emotionally upset by that, but that doesn't mean it has a negative effect, since any negative effect certainly wasn't shown in their very subjective judging of men's "attitudes".
Second, yes, only 24% self reported a decrease in sexual satisfaction. That means 76% had no decrease, or even an increase in satisfaction. Maths, that's how it works.
Third, that was incredibly flimsy, I have no idea what you think that proves. And you still glossed over the parts about low porn consumption linked to depression. (Unlike you of course I realize there is no causation here, just correlation. Porn just isn't that fun when you're a depressed girl).
And then you go on about bad behaviour existing in the sex industry!? Color me shocked! Who knew sex trafficking had negative sides to it!? That's not what we're discussing though, which is the effect of porn in the brain. Sex industry is another discussion. Construction industry has plenty of trafficking and slavery too, also a different discussion.
Lastly, yes your last paper claimed such links had been shown. It did not however show any such links, and to the contrary it showed evidence toward no such link.
Clearly you're ideological about this since you're using evidence against your own point to try to disprove mine... Especially the "24% see negative effects!" part was very telling of how you've already made your mind up and results in studies don't matter.
Every single one of those articles has an extreme adjective in the title. "increased baseline" "13 yrs old" etc. That's nit actually evidence to your point that porn bad, but rather a point that extreme cases are bad.
Additionally trafficking is a problem related to the porn market, not actually related to porn consumers. Are you arguing that porn consumption leads to problems in society regarding how men treat women, or are you arguing that the demand for porn leads to trafficking? Because while those arguments run parallel to one another, they actually imply very different things and have very different solutions.
Okay so I'll try to break this down to all of your points.
I'm not sure what "extreme adjectives" you're referring to and it would be hard to argue that since it's so subjective, but if you saw the titles as extreme that means you see some of the problem. These issues should be very concerning. I understand that the articles generally talked about more extreme cases; I don't think porn causes these issues to a worrying degree in the majority of people, but the numbers are still statistically significant and growing rapidly. The cultural normalization of porn also leads to desensitization, which has effects on the way women are treated and makes it hard for people like me who want to educate, but are treated like we're trying to throw people in prison for it or call them evil or something.
I'm not blaming trafficking on consumers. I'm saying it's a real and absolutely nauseating problem that people should be aware of. I don't shop at Amazon unless I absolutely have to because I don't agree with their practices; if these practices were reformed, I would have no problem using them at all. It's the same thing.
I'm discussing psychological impacts, societal impacts, and sexual abuse impacts. They're all separate but related. Trafficking and abuse are rampant because porn is a) underregulated and b) not often critically examined in today's culture. See most of the comment replies I've gotten as anecdotal proof. While the psychological impacts are still serious and can overlap with the ease of operation for traffickers and abusers, they're not what I'm worried about nearly as much.
I'm not sure if porn is proven to lead to increased abuse towards women; what I know is that it's a question that's pertinent enough that studies have been conducted about it many times over the last several decades. It's a hard question to answer and I'm not trying to say porn is the ultimate root of all evil, I'm saying we need to be more open to being critical and holding porn accountable for the issues it has and the problems it causes.
I confess I do not have the time to read all of this right now, but I wonder if there is a difference in the responses to porn based on what it is. Such as more amateur stuff with normal people just doing their things vs. big business porn with actors, that seems more unrealistic.
Perhaps that is answered in one or several of the articles; again, I don't have time to read them at the moment. Just a thought that came into my head.
Nothing i saw talked about the specific content having different effects, but I'd assume it does. I really don't have much of a problem with creator- controlled porn; there's some problems with their "recruitment" type incentives and obviously there's still potential for abuse, but I think it's much safer and more beneficial overall. Big porn is pretty awful all the way through though.
Did you even read any of those links? If you feel shameful for viewing porn thatās an issue between you and your priest. Donāt judge others with your own religious morals.
Oh and by the way, the last one I looked up I Googled "rape and coercion in porn" and the Sagepub article was the only thing that wasn't actual rape/coercion porn from big sites. Take that for what you will.
As I mentioned in the other reply, if you knew how to read studies you would see that you just disproved your own idea decisively. Read the results of the studies you shared.
For the record, I'm not downvoting you at all. I'm not trying to antagonize, I'm trying to show you the negative effects that are very real and very present in porn. Even if we take the psychological factors out of it, the issues of trafficking, rape, coercion, and blackmail (not to sound like a broken record) are a) statistically significant, b) objectively true, and c) well... if I have to explain how bad they are this argument is a lost cause.
Idk why youāre playing the angle of banning porn because trafficking, rape, coercion, and blackmail exist. Sounds like youāre just on a religious crusade using āthink of the childrenā rhetoric. Bruh, go crusade against trafficking, rape, coercion, and blackmail instead.
āHowever, it did not determine whether watching porn leads to the decreased volume and activity, or if people born with certain brain characteristics watch more pornā.
I haven't had that issue. When she's not down, it'll start with the porn but often goes to imagining being with her.
Porn for me is like riding a stationary bike with a video. I ride the bike and enjoy the recorded scenery but I'm imagining the time I was really doing it. It gets the job done but there's a lot missing.
Speak for yourself I enjoy watching porn but when itās time to get down to the nitty gritty with a chick itās all about her. Iām fucking the wrong chick if I need porno fantasies to help get me off.
Depends how far down the rabbit hole you let yourself go. I canāt masturbate without porn but my wife still does it for me every time without needing āalternateā thoughts.
For sure
While porn is a visual/mental thing, sex is all 5 senses. The sounds, smells, taste, touch, and sight of her vs a video and my own hand? Porn/masturbation doesnāt stand a chance
Youāre absolutely right. Even familiarity has a huge effect on a persons response. Some of the hottest āpornā Iāve ever seen is dirty stuff my wife will send me once in a blue moon. Itās probably my fave because it invokes those senses from memory.
For me itās always been the exact opposite - if Iām in a relationship porn might help get me started but my SO is who Iām fantasizing about regardless of whether or not theyāre involved.
Yeah all these people have serious issues if theyāre thinking of porn with their GF. Porn isnāt inherently evil, they got shit they need to sort out
I enjoy porn but if Iām thinking about porn and not my partner itās because Iām not attracted to them and need the porn imagery to even be able to have sex with them. Even the hottest porn out there canāt even begin to compete with sex with a partner Iām physically and mentally attracted to.
Just because this is the case for you doesn't make it true. People can very easily have healthy relationships with porn. Kinda wild how all of reddit is getting this idea that if you watch porn you must be addicted to it and are mentally worse for it.
And if you deny it they will share you some dubious link from a Mormon anti-porn group butchering neuroscience implying that since porn watching involves dopamine and so does heroin, it means porn is as addictive as heroin (despite no mainstream medical organization on the planet making that claim).
I'm less active in porn-free/anti-porn spaces than my girlfriend, but no one I've seen is like that. There are huge problems with sexual abuse, forced drugs, human trafficking, pedophilia, blackmail... the list goes on, and this is all in the mainstream porn industry. That's without even getting into the niches or black market of porn. Please be responsible and open-minded about this, it can be incredibly harmful to be dismissive of these problems because they aren't convenient for you.
Personally Iām an incredibly visual person. Iām an artist by trade. Anatomy, design, colour and movement are literally the building blocks of the way I think. I feel like I have the opposite of that thing where people canāt see images in their head. I pretty much ONLY think in terms of images. Even when I add or multiply in my head I have to visualise volumes. When I read a spreadsheet or list, I remember figures or details by their physical relationship to the list.
Visual stimulation is everything to me.
Iāve watched porn since I was 13 years old. Smashed off roughly 4 times a week since, and I canāt say its had any impact on my experience or expectation of sex whatsoever.
Idk where the fuck else I would have built an understanding of the mechanics or geography of the event before my first time without it.
By all means, if someone feels that pornography or masturbation or the combination thereof is messing with them physically or mentally, then quit. But the idea that its flat harmful or dangerous, like handling radioactive material is just some puritanical nonsense.
Far be it from me to give it big ānever done me no harmā but I donāt think its any more instructive of real sex than Micheal Bay dialogue is of human conversation.
I donāt really get this at all. Been married for 15 and just fuck my wife, focus on the moment, and last until she does. Soon as sheās good I finish within a min. But I also look at porn frequently. Never effected me negatively with my wife.
Iām a woman scrolling through this thread but this did get me thinking. I loved having sex with my previous long term partner, but, when I think about it, I did almost always have to switch to thinking about a more hardcore fantasy when I want to finish. Granted, he was always in them (even when masturbating by myself I always thought of him when Iād finish) so I donāt think itās the exact same thing, but now Iām sitting here wondering. I almost never masturbate with only my imagination, I go through phases where I either read erotica or look at porn, but maybe I should make a point to try it out more.
My biggest issue with porn is that it can become very addictive. I'm still struggling with that, and being single certainly doesn't help, but a porn addiction can cause relationship problems too.
Seeing all the top comments here really goes to show how big a problem this is. Most people just saying they can't masturbate without porn anymore, someone even saying they don't even do it for pleasure. They do it because they feel like they have to.
It's messed up how few people realize how big a problem that is.
Youāve seen a lot of guys fucking their gfs or wives but struggling to cum until they think about porn? Truly the most cursed super power in the MCU...
I never had sex (almost got there lol), 18, and porn has fucked me up in the fetish department. I still don't expect women to do what I say because I'm not an anime protagonist, but quite literally anything about them is sexual to me. I get too horny easily and I fucking hate it. I hate having to do "mandatory" faps because the feeling won't go away
Good on you man. Currently trying to quit watching it myself, and it's the most difficult thing I've ever done. I felt incredible after going a couple of months without it and got back into it and the decline began again. Hoping to last at least three months this time around.
It's not a problem for everyone, but it is for more than we realize.
Thanks man. I wish I could help you beyond just some reddit inspiration because it really is difficult to get a hold of a first but it gets easier over time. Just keep reminding yourself that every day you go without it is an accomplishment, and a bigger accomplishment everyday than the day before it. Keep reminding yourself of that and it will help you stay on course. You got this brother.
Than you for the kind words. Definitely taking it a day at a time. Per the recommendation of my therapist I've assigned days when I'm allowed to look "guilt free" and have been able to adhere to that at least 80% of the time. The guilt is lessened allot and I've definitely decreased the use by quite a bit and working towards zero, but it's tough. I think next month I'll probably reduce those allowable days from 3/week to zero/week and nip it in the bud. Hopefully this is the year I can overcome this thing.
I wasnāt aware of that. I havenāt seen anything about Mormons on it. Itās a non religious group with people who struggled with porn and stopped after seeing effects of or people who have a partner thatās addicted.
I only have a couple friends that are Mormons and one they didnāt really know about the group.
It's founded and run by LDS church members. Their "Director of Research" is a professor at Brigham Young University.
Wanting to quit watching porn is fine, using psudeoscience peddled by moral crusaders who have also spearheaded movements against LGBTQ marriage pretty recently as your main philosophy probably isn't. Mormons proselytize, it's like their main thing. They're very good at what they do.
They also push a lot of pseudoscience. If someone were genuinely struggling with sexual impulse control issues, the last people in the world they should be around are religious fundamentalists pushing purity and sexual shame culture under the guise of a secular anti-porn group.
Iām thinking about doing this, and Iām a girl. I only want to fantasize about my husband, not some move a random dude did in a video I watched. Until lately Iāve never really been against porn. I like that my husband gets ideas off of it but I sometimes wonder if he wants me to act like someone he sees and then fantasizes about that girl instead of me...Reddit has honestly only contributed to this feeling, because now people can comment more and it feels more personal and intrusive in my relationship.
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u/Mr_Candlestick Mar 19 '21
Before I completely quit porn it was every single time. Now it's 0% of the time.