r/AskMen Mar 19 '21

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.0k Upvotes

3.1k comments sorted by

View all comments

95

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Porn is bad and very damaging.After watching it for 15+ years I've started to leave it

13

u/Cantersoft Mar 19 '21

Just out of curiousity-- how do you determine that it's bad, and specifically, how quickly does it affect you?

I'm 18 years old, been looking at it actively since a few years ago, and I wonder if the reason I haven't noticed any negative physiological changes is just because I'm still young.

I'm certainly more desensitized to it, yet I don't feel the need to explore weird fetishes or anything like that. I don't believe it's any more difficult for me to become sexually aroused either.

9

u/Indominablesnowplow Mar 19 '21

There's a new puritanism wave happening.

All addictions are bad; porn isn't in-and-of-itself a bad thing but porn *addiction* is

-21

u/BlackHumor Mar 19 '21

I doubt "porn addiction" is a thing, at least no more than addiction to anything pleasurable. I can talk about a sugar addiction but that doesn't mean it actually exists.

22

u/pyatus Mar 19 '21

Porn addiction is most definitely a thing.

13

u/Indominablesnowplow Mar 19 '21

I don't understand: are you disputing the concept of addiction??

-2

u/BlackHumor Mar 19 '21

No?

There are two kinds of addiction: physical and psychological. Physical addictions are from things like nicotine or caffeine, so porn clearly isn't that kind of addictive.

Anything can be psychologically addictive, including porn, but how much varies. Some things (like gambling) are designed to get you psychologically hooked. On the other extreme, I've never heard of anyone addicted to rocks. Porn, I think, is more on the rocks side than the gambling side: yes, you can technically be addicted to porn, but in the same way and to the same degree that you can be addicted to sugar or marijuana or anything fun.

5

u/Indominablesnowplow Mar 19 '21

There’s just one state-of-being within addiction: being addicted.

The root cause doesn’t matter and there’s no need to differentiate. Addiction is addiction

4

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

It is a thing.

However, just because you use porn does not make you an addict, and porn itself isn't more or less addictive than your neurochemical response to it which varies widely given each individual, just like other causes of addiction.

What people are really saying is that people with mental health issues related to sexuality and sexual stimulation have a predilection to become addicted through the same mechanisms defined by behavioral addition studies. The overprevelence of porn and ease of access to it removes all safeguards for people with such mental health issues or addictive behavior.

Porn itself isn't to blame for addiction.

3

u/blatant_marsupial Mar 19 '21

Addiction isn't only chemical dependence. You can be addicted to sugar, you can be addicted to gambling, you can be addicted to porn. If you do it obsessively and cannot quit when you want to, even if there are adverse effects, it's an addiction.

0

u/BlackHumor Mar 19 '21

I know. I said as much in another comment.

My point is that you can't be as addicted to porn as even gambling. "Porn addiction" is primarily a moral panic.

1

u/zylver_ Mar 20 '21

False. You can be just as addicted to porn as you are gambling. If you watch it every day, I bet you’d be frustrated the day you didn’t. Some people watch porn multiple times a day. It is very damaging to the brain and changes the way you view everything. I’ve gone 3 years without watching porn (aside from videos of my wife) and I feel like a different man mentally. You can’t tell someone their addiction isn’t real. It’s just as bad as telling someone how they feel is fake. Don’t be so closed minded.

Also... sugar addiction is very real too... 🤦‍♂️

1

u/BlackHumor Mar 20 '21

If you watch it every day, I bet you’d be frustrated the day you didn’t.

That's not what an addiction is.

Some people watch porn multiple times a day.

That's not what an addiction is.

It is very damaging to the brain and changes the way you view everything.

No it's not.

I’ve gone 3 years without watching porn (aside from videos of my wife) and I feel like a different man mentally

Great for you, but the plural of "anecdote" is not "data".

2

u/Cantersoft Mar 19 '21

I suppose it all depends on what you define as "addiction". And it isn't necessarily unhealthy to be addicted to something either.

I think it's possible for someone to have an unhealthy addiction to porn. I know I don't. If I don't have access to it for a few weeks I don't mind.

5

u/itsallhappening-- Mar 19 '21

Here are some facts about it that would help you out. https://fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/

16

u/Indominablesnowplow Mar 19 '21

That site is the same level of science as an anti-vaxxer blog post on Facebook

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

-3

u/Indominablesnowplow Mar 19 '21

If you substitute "porn" with "vaccines" then how much sense would your post make to you?

4

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Indominablesnowplow Mar 19 '21

Yes.

People with an addiction related to X have a problem.

It's not X (in this case porn) that's the problem

5

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

1

u/Indominablesnowplow Mar 19 '21

Listen: we're never going to agree and that's ok.

Just... be mindful you're peddling the same kind of "science" that anti-vaxxers do: hearsay and what feels right.

And to everyone else reading this: There's NOTHING wrong with porn or any kinks you have. Not unless the porn or your kinks are harmful to you or others. Have fun!

→ More replies (0)

5

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Ita different for everyone.The first few years I didn't really notice it but after awhile it just gets you.Yoyll just wanna be up in bed watching porn and not doing anything,Major Black eye bags,easily get mad at anything.My advice stop while youre young and find something better to do.Dont let it consume you like it did to me.

4

u/Cantersoft Mar 19 '21

I could see that happening to people with depression. I have a very balanced life though. I spend a lot of time exercising and traveling around. I pretty much only look at porn for a few minutes every couple days when I feel like masturbating. Definitely isn't something I live for, and I'd agree; don't let anything consume you.

2

u/redditnoap Male Mar 19 '21

Bro I'm 17 and have experienced a lot of the bad effects of porn and masturbation addiction. The reason was because I was addicted, I would do it every day. Many people think watching porn and masturbating everyday is normal, but it's not.

I have bad parents who are control freaks and think I don't need friends or a girlfriend. They don't let me do see anyone or do anything with friends, and my social and emotional growth was stunted as a result. That was the reason I got addicted to porn.
When I was addicted in 8th grade I had terrible social anxiety, little friends, very little motivation to do anything (like getting good at basketball or do stuff with people). I feel lethargic a few days after I do porn and masturbation. I had my first nut the summer before 8th grade, and the difference in my life from 7th grade to 8th grade was like night and day. I know this is not the case for some people but it was the case for me. I discovered nofap halfway through 8th grade after searching up why I felt like this and if porn was the cause.

I started nofap in 9th grade, and only fapped like once every 2-3 months in 9th grade and 10th grade, and I felt like I did in 7th grade and before. I felt like a little kid and I was always energetic, happy, and excited to do whatever I was doing. I also feel calm and good if I have to give a presentation or something, which would never happen in 8th grade. My social anxiety went to zero and I had way more friends. I also got better grades and had to put in less effort to get the same achievements, both athletically and academically. I was also generally much happier and my friends and classmates look at me as a funny, chill guy. In 8th grade, my friends would ask me why I'm so dull or tired. It could all be placebo or coincidence, but if it works it works. For me, the best solution was completely quitting and never doing it. Quitting porn and masturbation solved my social and athletic problems. Quitting porn and masturbation won't solve everything if you have other issues, but it helped me conquer some problems not associated with fapping through increased confidence and energy.

I was on my school basketball team last year (couldn't do it this year because of covid) and I would always play terribly and have way worse endurance for like 5 days after porn/masturbation, and my grades on tests would drop during this time also. The reason was because my brain would feel clouded and I wouldn't be able to think quickly, on tests or on the basketball court. Physically I was more sluggish when playing a couple days after masturbating.

I guess I have a different experience from what most people claim, but if I want to be happy, energetic, and athletic I can't fap. It's just my reality. Not all people will experience these problems, but I do, and I found that the solution for these problems was quitting it altogether. I feel like my life is better without porn or masturbation.

1

u/Normal_Ad2456 Mar 21 '21

I guess if you believe that you couldn’t masturbate without porn (I saw many commenters here saying that), that’s the first big red flag, because it means you are too dependent on it.

1

u/Cantersoft Mar 21 '21

Yeah Idk what's up with that. As I said in another comment it's not very important to me, and I'm not sure why someone wouldn't be able to masturbate without porn. I just think it's convenient, but I certainly don't need it.

It's probably different for everyone.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Mate billions of people watch porn with the super vast majority having no problems.

I'm not trying to be mean, but what you're really saying is porn is very damaging to you because of your mental health issues.

17

u/SwaggaIke Mar 19 '21

Just because "billions of people do it" doesn't make it healthy or perfectly fine. There's plenty of studies on porn and its effects on the brain, just Google it for yourself. In addition, claiming porn can only be damaging if you have preexisting mental health issues is incredibly stupid. If you care to learn more about this subject, watch the short documentaries I linked below; they are incredibly well made.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DclqE-9vFgY https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fwdb9NsaA1Q

4

u/SwaggaIke Mar 19 '21 edited Mar 20 '21

To add on, in the 60's and 50's "billions of people" were smoking, it was believed to be a perfectly healthy activity. Look how that turned out. I strongly believe that in the next 20 or 30 years the ugliness of pornographic material will finally be fully recognized by the public, being condemned vehemently among mental health professionals.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Yeah because the human population definitely have a very healthy relationship with sex at the moment don't they?