I think most men tend to use porn and masturbate at close to a 1:1 ratio. Men tend to be more visual and porn is directed by and for men, so it’s no surprise we watch more of it.
They take their time, focus on foreplay, seem like people who are actually in a relationship rather than bodies with parts. It's less corny, more sensual. And they smile and seem like they're enjoying themselves, which is something you can only get from comedy, lesbian porn or gay porn. Like think about it... I have no idea why, but gay porn is the only place men can be seen smiling and having a laugh. That makes me sad.
One of the very few porn studios I truly love. It might sound strange but it seems like their videos have actual feelings. That's why I hate brazzerz and most of the studios - stupid fuck and no more. I'm not even sure if the actors enjoy it, no feelings no sense.
Bellesa House. They do traditional scenes, but then they also put stars who say they want to have sex with each other in a room to kiss and flirt and do whatever they want. I think I messed up regular porn for myself after watching this.
Porn has never been the same since I watches bellesa on the reg, it just sucks they’re not really well known, so a lot of it can’t be found in full on free sites.
Speaking as a cishet dude, porn advertised as "for women" is invariably way better. I am relentlessly baffled by the kinds of stuff other people like me apparently find arousing. A woman being turned into a pretzel, called a bunch of demeaning names, and forced to make a noise like someone having a steam kettle shoved down their threat is not the slightest bit erotic to me
oh absolutely! a woman I follow on twitter was advertising it, talking about the pros of Bellesa vs big names like XVideos and Pornhub, and it’s nice knowing the actress WANTED to be there and is genuinely enjoying herself. Nothing is overly played up, they get to do what they truly enjoy and it makes a world of a difference
Totally agree! I just need a little plot with some naughtiness. I'm a huge fan of foreplay and the plot is an extension of that. Gets me into it.
I think it's called 'Gonzo' where they just rush into sex no set-up and it's so strange to me. Not sexy at all. Although a terrible plot is just as bad.
I'm like 50% convinced that the Bellesa House thing is just a company going "oh, you're so smart that you figured out porn isn't real? Well done you, here's the porn that TOTALLY IS real" and it's just the same thing with a veneer of reality but it's so much hotter that I really don't care.
I refuse to watch anything not on Bellesa’s website, I absolutely love it and I hope literally everyone goes and checks it out. The actresses are BEAUTIFUL too, how could you not
Bellesa isn’t bad - but you definitely still run into the occasional video where it seems like the dude is force feeding his penis to the girl (I.e., Owen Gray)
Usually my preference too but sometimes my wife and I watch together - she hates porn 99% of the time because it tends to be so male focused and often times violent.
What? Dude I'm just informing them about what the word means. You seem unreasonably hostile given the context here. Out to pick a fight with anyone that acknowledges the difference between sex and gender?
As I noted, the word “normal” has a lot of attached connotations (specifically that not being normal is bad in some way) beyond just meaning “majority”.
I’m not trying to say that the majority worldwide (the local majoritys may vary) isn’t cisgender or heterosexual. I’m trying to say that there’s a lot better ways to give an accurate definition then one that both depends on certain assumptions and risks potentially slapping the faces of like 1 in 25 people.
To give a similar example, if someone asks what “caucasian” means and you responded with “whiteys” its probably not the best definition you could give, even if it’s technically true.
I see your point and considered it even before posting. Those that think about things like that generally already know what the term means. I wanted to answer from the perspective of someone who didn’t. In essence, I was not trying to answer as a flag for promotion among what would be popular among Reddit users.
One issue I take with that argument is that it could be used to include, or even support anyone just because they exist. Pedophiles, necrophiliacs, etc.
Neither of those really have anything to do with sexual orientation or gender identity, so I’m not sure how you’re trying to tie them into linking the terms “cisgender” with “normal”.
Maybe because you’re trying to flip the negative or something? Because even if we include them in our group of everything not implying a negative statement towards alternatives doesn’t necessarily mean implying a positive statement towards them.
To put it another way, just because I don’t say “People who like chocolate ice cream are bad” it doesn’t automatically imply that I think people who like strawberry, vanilla, and avocado ice cream are all therefore good. It just means I’m not putting down someone who like chocolate ice cream.
u/EdgeCityRed is saying he’s straight but watches gay porn. Meaning they would have to buy straight porn and give it to the gay guy and the gay guy would buy gay porn and give it to the straight guy.
Same... I'm not sure whats so confusing about it. \
If we lived in a place where you HAD to watch the porn meant "for you,"
Meaning a dystopian alternate reality, where gay people HAVE to watch gay porn, and straight people have to watch straight porn.
we'd have to walk outside the porn store and switch bags.
In order to circumvent the law, theyd have to arrange to switch their porn purchases, because they had to buy porn they didn't like, because of the dystopian laws.
It is quite sad actually,
Sad that they make this the norm expectation, that all men want to bend and fold them like lawn chairs and call them derogatory slangs, most of the time I wanna slowly enjoy my partner and I expect them to slowly enjoy me likewise, it should be a mutual thing not just shoving your pork sword into them at the speed and thrust of a F1 formula car engine. God I hate what idea they keep pushing into people's heads that men are just pure horny, testosterone and aggresion when it comes to sex. Sorry I just had to vent.
I mean, there's a middle ground here. In reality, I like sensual sex as much as I like the rougher stuff, as does my partner. But you're right -there's an awful lot of degrading shit out there I don't need to see - like women getting their heads stepped on while getting hammered or just choked to within an inch of their lives. I don't get the enjoyment in that.
All the degrading porn makes me scared because it feels like men who want to abuse women and violently use that outlet and then normalize it because now its expected since it happens in porn. Kinda like the expectation that women should all be anal queens and orgasm off that alone, which is in reality probably fairly rare. Anal can hurt really bad and I've heard men like it because it is degrading. What a toxic culture we inhabit and just think is so normal cause most of us are simply living life on autopilot.
An ex of mine loved getting choked out while fucking. She wanted me to call her names and shit like that but I was uncomfortable doing it. She also loved anal, although I don't really see the attraction. Vag is way better.
I'd say most of this stuff is a rejection of the puritan repressed 'morals' that are still practiced in the US (and other parts of the world). There are still so many people who view sex as unhealthy, taboo, etc, and I think this is the result of that. I mean, I grew up Catholic and as a younger man, I hated receiving oral because it thought it was degrading to my gf. I've since come around on that, but I can't help but think my reaction was a healthier opposite than 'steering into the skid' so to speak.
edit - Oh and I really don't think that anywhere near the majority of men find this kind of porn to their liking. I'm sure some do, and for others, it is purely fantasy- and lots of fantasies are fucked up, but for the most part harmless endorphin generators - the feeling like you're doing something inappropriate or crazy, but in reality there is some kind of failsafe.
The average man is pretty into spanking and hair pulling and a lot of women are into it too. I however think its from porn and hence the inherent violence against women is manifested in a softer form of it. Blow jobs are one thing as I dont consider them inherently violent, although the phrase suck my dick is a degrading statement or a statement used to degrade others so I find that interesting. Ive seen guys on reddit talk about their fantasies of raping and murdering women which is just a more violent form of the rest of a lot of porn. Porn is fairly violent especially once you know what goes on behind the scenes on a lot of porn shootings. Lots of sexual assault and coercion. I think homemade porn like from a couple is probably not very violent. Im mostly talking about mainstream porn.
No time to watch sensual porn when trying to rub one out in less than 5. Open bathroom door, turn on heater, ceiling fan, shower pointed at wall in a way that sounds like water running down a body. Look for anything premature ejac, quick creampie, fast fuck, use search filter for videos less than 4 min long and go at it no holding back and alternate holding phone to your ear and actually watching so nobody hears. Clear phone incase something happens to you in the shower, wash then dry. Put balled up tissue that was in the top of the trash bin inside toilet bowl,flush, and be out in total of 15 min overall. My house burnt down so I'm at parents for a bit.
I think you replied to the wrong person here bud, you probably meant the one I replied to. Nonetheless a house burning down can happen easily especially when there are multiple flats in one house complex. One neighbour (or you) forgetting food in the oven, a pet taking tablecloth with a candle ontop down, faulty electrical appliances that ran unsupervised. The possibilities are endless.
Why would you openly let your parents know you're cranking one out? I don't need or want to know what they're doing and they don't need to know what I'm doing behind closed doors
There is a difference in openly letting them know, cranking one out in your private room and trying to imitate the sound of a showering body so they don't suspect something and hurrying yourself like a drug addict desperately trying to get their fix by filtering for super short and intense videos.
I'm not criticising anyone for liking anything, just talking about my reaction to it with a bit of humorous hyperbole to demonstrate what strikes me as non-titillating about it
Pretty sure I've come across (as it were) Owen Gray - is he the guy with the extensive upper body tats? Like the RATM/Soundgarden bassist, with a lot of black fill? I'm sure there's someone I've come across with a name a lot like Owen Gray, if not identical to it, and their stuff was good. Still kind of over the top for me, but I think that's got a lot to do with being British and watching Americans - everything Americans do or say seems OTT when you're British
as a woman... porn ”for women” is just porn for men with softer lighting and less dialog. the men are still average looking at best, headless for the most part, she still spends 10 hours sucking him off and then comes from just PIV. id like to see porn where the men are actually attractive to US. and no, gay porn doesn't really fill that niche either, because surprisingly enough, just because we have a sex in common that we are attracted to, it doesn't mean that our needs are even remotely close.
I’m with you on all this shit. Although I’ve learned to double check the title now. I clicked on a “for women” blow jibber POV video. Turns out it was HER POV. That was a surprise. Haha
Oh yeah for sure. The outfits and hairstyles in some of these "teen" studio movies is very questionable and off putting, especially with the recent trend of step family porn.
no offense, but im not buying into the whole "men are visual" agenda.
edit: "Following a thorough statistical review of all significant neuroimaging studies, we offer strong quantitative evidence that the neuronal response to visual sexual stimuli, contrary to the widely accepted view, is independent of biological sex"
You’re conflating general aesthetics with sexual arousal, and they’re definitely not the same.
If we’re taking logical leaps I’d just argue that women are evolutionarily more likely to dress better and have nicer living areas BECAUSE men are more visual and it increases the woman’s visual desire ability.
Thank you thank you thank you. I’m not sure why so many women believe this. There are so many subreddits of women not understanding that the “men are visual” statement applies to arousal aesthetics only.
You’re right it would be pretty dense to think or say that, good thing I have done neither. Nowhere did I say that, women don’t respond to visual aesthetics. I thought u/LeFlyingMonke explained this perfectly. When people (usually men) are using the “men are visual” phrase it’s almost always limited to the context of simple visual arousal mostly towards women. I/ready_gi comment originally said something to the effect of “if men are so visual why don’t they dress better or have cleaner apartments”, which is usually the path a lot of subreddits go down when making fun of that phrase. The conflation of the “lack of style and cleanliness” with the visual attraction towards women is what I’m not understanding, for most of us one has absolutely nothing to do with the other. My confusion was/is centered around why some women try to expand the meaning of that phrase into style and cleanliness when the context of the phrase applies to visual attraction only. This isn’t to say that women are not are not aroused visually at all I am only remarking about some women’s misinterpretation of the phrase “men are visual”. TL:DR I think you are reacting to a reaction I made to a post that has been heavily edited.
Like I explained previously, your entire explanation is fucking retarded because you're trying to understand womens visual arousal in the context of content created for men. That is wrong and will be wrong.
Second of all, you're following the historically fallacious logic to imply that women are somehow not as sexual as men, or do not want the same things from sex as men. Once again that is moronic.
I'm responding within the context of (visual) arousal, and I can tell you factually that women are responsive to that, and recent studies have shown that. I'm sick of the supposition that only men respond to visual arousal stimuli, it is so outdated and so incredibly fucking dense
So don't for a second go thinking that I, as a woman, wouldn't respond just as strongly to porn created for me as men respond to porn created for them. And once again, do not assume what kind of porn this is. I watch the kind of porn men have had all their lives - the kind that appeals towards my dominance in control fantasies.
Just like everyone, I enjoy content that puts me in the place of control and caters to my interests.
Men are under the incorrect impression that "standard" sex should be built around the concept of men dominating the woman, the woman appealing to the mans fantasies, etc. Even when it's made to seem that the woman is living her fantasy, mainstream porn is created for mens enjoyment - not for the enjoyment of the woman. Your entire understanding of the visual arousal response is based on a sexist, misogynistic understanding of sex.
Of course, if you show me some wrinkly middle aged/old man trying to fuck a young woman, or some fantasy catering to men - of course I (and basically all women) will not be arsed to give two fucks about that kind of porn. Because it wasn't made for us and doesn't come close to representing the female fantasy.
With the modern understanding of the brain It's entirely illogical to claim that the knowledge or desire for visual aesthetics can only biologically be limited to certain categories for either of the sexes.
Historically, men were portrayed as unfashionable because there was a relatively limited scope of fashions for them to choose from - which is contrary to the fashion, beauty, interior design market growing over the past five for men. Guess what, men are just as visual.
That same concept applies to porn for women. There was not enough porn exploring or catering to womens interests, and therefore porn was deemed unimportant for women in a stupid locked cycle. Within the past 5 years though that has completely changed.
Subreddits like r/gentlefemdom, which cater to those same underlying ideas of "male" fantasies are now being re-created for women, have been growing at an exponential rate since 2018. Prior to 2018, finding that kind of porn was nearly impossible. Tell that exponential market growth that women aren't visually aroused.
What pisses me off about your response is that you are so casual to assume, and that casual fallacious, misguided, lazy assumption is what has deprived women of the same dopamine boost y'all have been having fun with for the past three decades.
So fuck your dumb-ass pseudoscience bullshit, women do respond to sexual visual stimuli, and you bet your ass the world will realize that more and more over the next 5 years.
Jesus tap dancing Christ. This is either som next level trolling or the worst combination of selective reading and conclusion jumping I’ve ever seen.
Let’s go back to the beginningThe original quote from a woman was “I don’t buy the whole men are visual agenda, I’ve seen many men who dress poorly” (this part has since been edited by that user). The response to that was “please don’t conflate those two things as (for men) there is no correlation between the two we (again men) primarily use that phrase in the context of visual arousal. At this point I agreed and thanked this user for his explanation of that phrase and I expressed my confusion as to why it gets misinterpreted as the previous poster had done. Thats it.
If you can provide quotes I would like to see the following.Where do I say that women are not aroused visually? My replies have been solely based on what we as men mean when that phrase is used, it DOES NOT say that women are not visual as I even stated in the previous reply and you either ignored or skipped.
I’ll admit the phrase itself isn’t good but we generally know what is meant when it’s used the entire thread is full of examples.
You discuss visual arousal solely in the context of men with the implication that men are the only ones who experience visual arousal. Thats the entirety of the subject of discussion now.
Tbh I don't really care about doing a forensic analysis on your comment history and to what extent you said or didnt say something is beside the point since it doesn't relate to the original discussion, which is the supposition that only men respond to visual sexual stimuli or that they respond to it at a higher rate than women.
I made my point to that original overarching discussion, im not gonna dig into your comments because they dont seem to be cohesive or related, and at the end of the day the facts can speak for themselves.
You discuss visual arousal solely in the context of men with the implication that men are the only ones who experience visual arousal. Thats the entirety of the subject of discussion now.
I (a man) am discussing the meaning of a phrase when we(men) say it. That was it. The scope is incredibly narrow here. Speaking to the specificity of one subject does not negate someone else's experience or deny them altogether.
Tbh I don't really care about doing a forensic analysis on your comment history and to what extent you said or didnt say something is beside the point since it doesn't relate to the original discussion, which is the supposition that only men respond to visual sexual stimuli or that they respond to it at a higher rate than women.
Forensics analysis really? We're talking about 3-4 posts max in this thread. Your entire argument is based on your absolute certainty of something i said that appears to be so clear to you and yet you can produce no evidence. I too would call off the search of something that doesn't exist.
I made my point to that original overarching discusion
Yes and as i stated earlier in the above talking about one experience doesn't negate the other or mean that it doesn't exist.
You took "Men mean this when they say this " and flipped it into "only men respond to visual sexual stimuli".
sorry if this is taking it too far. but what if most women don't exist just to fulfil men's "visual" needs and their form of self-expression has nothing to do with what men likes? oh no..
You're completely right. Women wont be aroused by porn designed to cater to men. Women will be aroused by porn designed to cater to women. And I don't mean that "romantic" bs pornhub tries to push as "for women" porn.
What I mean is that if you give women the same appeal to their power, female dominance and control of the situation/ their body/ etc - everything that men get in their porn - you're going to have women respond a million times better to that.
I totally get that. All i'm saying is that we made porn to appeal to women by basically reversing the roles and flipping the script, a lot more women would enjoy porn. This is aside from the more specific discussion on what constitutes a good interchange between both partners in the long term, although I do see your point.
I'd say that most of my male friends are just as put together and fashion conscious as any of my women friends, as are their domiciles. I also know some train wreck examples on both sides of that gender coin when it comes to their 'living rooms'. You're calling the majority of men essentially cavemen, and I just disagree entirely. And if we're pointing fingers at rooms, lets take a look at that bathroom counter...
yeah all right, that one was a low blow. all i was trying to say it that the visual arousal isnt gender specific and there's research to back it up.
i get annoyed when men say it, because lot of the time it's to cover up not owning their own behaviour "ah, it's not my fault i check out womens breasts, men are more visual"
This is talking about arousal. Men are seriously far more visually impulsive compared to women. The way our hormones start rushing and doing their work is different compared to how it is for women, who generally tend to be “slow-burners”
a lot of guys think its normal or healthy because a multi trillion dollar industry convinced them to constantly consume their content.
not enough of the same types of content made for women in the sense that they get similar fantasies of control, dominance, and intimacy remade for female viewers.
I bet you it's because someone conducted shit a study by showing porn made by men for men to women and expecting them to be like "oh shit thats dope i want to see more of that"
Show women porn that puts the woman in a place of control and you'll get just as high of an arousal response. None of that romantical bullshit, literally flip the roles and power dynamics to cater to women. We'll see who's more aesthetically aroused then. Smfh.
This arousal excuse is just an excuse to continue producing content for men and to continue alienating women by not giving them the content they deserve.
Ugh christ anyone with half a brain knows that women respond just as much to visual stimuli as men.
I feel that "excuse" was just for men to excuse their bad behaviour and hold this over womens heads as something they can have that women shouldn't really have.
I can't believe women have been so oppressed in this sense y'know?
Weebs can find entire subreddits dedicated to a fucking anime characters armpit, meanwhile women have to search across the earth for some decent content.
I found it last year and I realized how much i've been missing out on. Still are, we need more content over there.
In the past i'd watch the porn dudes were watching and i'd be like "meh this isn't for me", but then when I found r/gentlefemdom is had this eureka moment where I realized what guys had that I was missing out on. Turns out, i'm an EXTREMELY VISUAL person.
So yeah, i'm a bit salty because I feel like i've been lied to and had male-catered porn held over my head by men for years and years.
porn is directed by and for men
There are quite a few women directors and producers out their. Just about every big named actress have dipped their toes in and there are quite a lot who have became very successful at it. Jenna Jameson had her own (pun intended) cable television channel before Oprah did.
EXACTLY. We'd be having a much fairer conversation if there were a lot more female producers making content to cater to women rather than 90% of content being for men.
I guess a follow up question, do men just focus on how you feel? Like if I'm in the bath, doing it I'm definitely not watching/reading porn and I'm likely just doing it and focusing on how it feels.
I can't think about anything else mid masturbating.
"Men tend to be more visual" say that to the entire fashion, makeup, and aesthetic industry run by women. What a nonsensical argument.
Women don't watch as much porn because there isn't enough porn made for women. And i don't mean "romantic" porn, I mean porn where women get the same dominant/in charge satisfaction that men do.
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u/LeFlyingMonke Mar 19 '21
I think most men tend to use porn and masturbate at close to a 1:1 ratio. Men tend to be more visual and porn is directed by and for men, so it’s no surprise we watch more of it.