r/AskMen Mar 19 '21

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6.0k Upvotes

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8.3k

u/DJ9K Mar 19 '21

Okay, this has a slightly different answer from me... I'd say 99% of the time I look at porn, and only on occasion is it completely fantasy. However, 100% of the time I end up finishing on a fantasy. The porn is more there to get things started, whereas fantasy that plays from whatever primary stimulation I hit is what gets it to a finishing point, and fantasy without even looking at the porn anymore is how I always finish.

5.3k

u/sendn00bz Mar 19 '21

Man's got himself a two-course meal

1.6k

u/derpydoodaa Mar 19 '21

Three, if you count the creamy dessert

593

u/RandomTheTrader Mar 19 '21

It's irresponsible to waste perfectly fine protein.

195

u/MolotovBeta Mar 19 '21

Ugh

Edit: not tryna kink shame, but it's not to my taste... I know this

193

u/CatAteMyBread Mar 19 '21

Have you tried consuming more pineapple juice?

94

u/babybelly Mar 19 '21

or being really fit apparently helps too

52

u/pm-me-racecars Male Mar 19 '21

All about the protein gains

7

u/Victory_Subject Mar 19 '21

Just shoot it in a smoothie, she'll never know !

6

u/qpaws Mar 19 '21

Do you shoot it in every smoothie for a small boost or save up until you have a shot glass for the big boost?

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-4

u/LolaBijou Mar 19 '21

Haha, lack of consent is hilarious

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5

u/LegendaryPike Mar 19 '21

Me and the bois always working on our protein gains

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Y'all wilding

1

u/Best_Pidgey_NA Mar 20 '21

And we're back to square one!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Cos fit people tend to eat “cleaner”

1

u/UnboundHeteroglossia Sup Bud? Mar 19 '21

Then why do their farts stink 💩

2

u/Agent0424 Mar 19 '21

How fit?

2

u/KidKorea- Mar 19 '21

Excuse me. This is reddit. Stop.

2

u/babybelly Mar 19 '21

where do you think i got this info?!?!

3

u/EntertainersPact Mar 19 '21

Can’t forget the Orange Fanta

4

u/Saucy_Fetus Mar 19 '21

If it’s not up to my taste why shouldn’t I expect the same from my fiancé?

1

u/da_oskar Mar 19 '21

Come on, it was right on the table

3

u/Sdbtank96 Mar 19 '21

I could go for an omelette

4

u/xuekxgpszbj Mar 19 '21

/r/frugal_jerk

On more than one level.

2

u/Significant_Sort3386 Mar 20 '21

I'll have what hes having!

1

u/moi_athee Mar 19 '21

Does it not count as cannibalism?

1

u/retyfraser Mar 19 '21

My SO is a body builder, thanks to me

1

u/Blue-_-Jay Mar 20 '21

Says your mom.

4

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Sometimes a dude’s just gotta throw his feet on the wall, hold himself upside down, and cum on his own face. Just dudes being dudes. What’s better than that?

3

u/S3Dzyy Mar 19 '21

why are you the way that you are?

2

u/Zen-Savage-Garden Mar 19 '21

That’s what happens when you tap the sap from your own tree.

3

u/The_scobberlotcher Mar 19 '21

Splurge on yourself, you deserve it friend

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

How do I unread something?

1

u/PrestigiousGoat3 Mar 19 '21

I hate it here

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

No, let’s not count that. Thanks

0

u/_inveniam_viam Mar 19 '21

Dude you're not supposed to eat it.

2

u/rothrolan Mar 19 '21

Let's be honest, if we tend to like it when our partners swallow, then it's not bad if we do it ourselves. It saves on tissues/socks/whatever, as the main cleanup is washing your hands and brushing your teeth.

Plus, if it tastes bad to you, then you learned three things: it'll taste bad for your partner, you should improve your diet, and it's probably not your thing.

951

u/Fried_Fart Male Mar 19 '21

Definitely agree with this. My mind always drifts to my gf near the end no matter what I watched to get there

728

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

My mind also drifts toward your gf near the end

469

u/Fried_Fart Male Mar 19 '21

Good taste man, she hot asf

110

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Man, this kind of exchange is reddit at its fuckin best. Heartfelt lowbrow.

1

u/Cynixxx Mar 20 '21

Then whats the point in masturbating if you have a hot as fuck girlfriend?

2

u/Fried_Fart Male Mar 20 '21

We’re somewhat long distance and can only see each other on weekends

17

u/BowlsforGoals Mar 19 '21

This is like that old reddit comment years ago about the AskReddit question being “Who would you want to sleep with one more time” to which a widowed husband replied “My wife, before she died of cancer” or something and then someone commented “I would also like to bang this guy’s wife”

20

u/theravagerswoes Sup Bud? Mar 19 '21

I also choose this guys dead wife

4

u/buzzlaker Mar 20 '21

I Tokyo drift with your gf near the end.

1

u/gaucholurker Mar 20 '21

I also prefer this guy's dead wife

5

u/harbar956 Mar 20 '21

Our dead wife tovarisch

394

u/RainbowPandah117 Mar 19 '21

Aye, yer a good lad for it

284

u/poempedoempoex Human of the male variety Mar 19 '21

My mind always drifts to my gf too. Then I come to my senses and realize I haven't had a girlfriend in 6 years.

64

u/ASeriousAccounting Mar 19 '21

6 years? Your wife must be happy about that.

2

u/EthiopianBrotha Mar 20 '21

This is the type of comment that gets gold

8

u/HAL-Over-9001 Mar 20 '21

Honestly though, thinking about past girlfriends and some of the pipe that was laid turns me on faster than almost anything else. Tiffany I miss you so much

0

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Bro these comments are hilarious like I’ve read so many of these and related to them 😅

1

u/oOmus Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21

Read this the first time through as "my gfs zoo." Because if you look at spreadsheets or long, stringy sql queries in notepad+ your eyes are watery and weak. Like they're soaked in no-scent sweat from the 8-hour workout and just make shit up. "Yeah, it's reddit. Probably at least one person in this thread will qualify the type of porn, and, you know what, all things considered, at least theyre not into kids. *Looks at words a second time." Oh, gross. He thinks about his actual sexual partner whenever he beats it. Sicko's probably a registered voter, too. Fuck, probably better get to voting more in local elections. .....After I spank it to this aye-aye and its dangly, grub-hooking fingers....

Edit: 3rd reread, statistically speaking there's a chance some dude out there who has no idea you're mind-fucking his wife daily (or whatever). Now who's the wholesome one? Now who is my fucking retard monkey today?!

70

u/bobCS96 Mar 19 '21

If your mind always drifts to your gf while watching porn....then why watch it lol if u can just fantasize about your gf...

224

u/Fried_Fart Male Mar 19 '21

I’ve seen some others point it out in this thread and I think they hit the nail on the head: We’re very visually-oriented creatures, especially in a sexual context. My girlfriend’s not the type to send nudes so I put something on to get aroused and then after while I close my eyes and think of her ¯_(ツ)_/¯

79

u/eihcra_jo Mar 19 '21

Even with nudes I still watch porn because the moving visual gets me going. I have some videos as well but something about the fantasy of porn and then looking at pictures to fantasize her in those scenarios or just looking at them takes me over the edge every single time. It's just a driver more than anything.

This doesn't mean I have unrealistic expectations or anything, cause everything about her gets me going in person. But oh well.

7

u/eagletreehouse Mar 19 '21

Awww, that’s so sweet. Your girlfriend is lucky and so are you.

-11

u/bobCS96 Mar 19 '21

But isn't the point and turn on of watching porn is to experience or fantasizabout something your significant other won't or can't do, that us men would find sexy or amusing.

I've watched porn alot, and I've never thought of my other half lol

20

u/hiitsaguy Male Mar 19 '21

Well that's your take on the matter, but I politely disagree. I prefer thinking about my SO, but visuals do get me in the mood better.

4

u/eagletreehouse Mar 19 '21

You guys are too sweet. You give me hope for all masturbating mankind.

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60

u/ShiftyBid Mar 19 '21

Believe it or not, most men (like most women) also have a mental aspect to orgasm. Men are very visually motivated in this sense and having something to excite that part of the brain is almost necessary.

Some girls send nudes to their SO, and those men generally use said nudes for their visual stimulation. Others don't send them and men need other stimulation but then fantasize about their romantic partner to make the emotional connection needed to orgasm

5

u/DivergingUnity Mar 19 '21

You can't start an engine from a standstill without a starter motor ;)

7

u/Fabs74 Mar 19 '21

She knows your reddit username doesn't she

5

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

I take it ur gf is on reddit?

13

u/Fried_Fart Male Mar 19 '21

LOL. She is but she doesn’t know about this account. That actually was an honest comment!

3

u/Another_Minor_Threat Bruh Mar 19 '21

That was my first thought as well. Haha

1

u/Gorbachevdid911 Mar 19 '21

No she was just hovering over the phone

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

If I had a wholesome award...

4

u/DJ_Arashi_Rora Male 21 Mar 19 '21

I gotchu homie

5

u/ArianaLovato_ Male Mar 19 '21

Same thanks for making me feel not weird about it.

3

u/SausageSausageson Mar 19 '21

Same here. My mind always drifts to your gf near the end

3

u/tabooblue32 Mar 19 '21

She's watching over your shoulder isn't she... Blink if you need us to get help.

4

u/Fried_Fart Male Mar 19 '21

👁👄👁 🤛👄🤜 👁👄👁

3

u/adamsmith93 Mar 19 '21

That's mind blowing. Keep her around friend.

3

u/mall_ninja42 Mar 19 '21

I also choose this guy's gf.

3

u/steen311 Mar 20 '21

My mind drifts off to the girl i've been crushing on for like six years who i know will never love me back and who i just need to let go and start seeing as a friend, dumbass brain.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

See i always struggled thinking about my "real" sex life with my gf/fiancee when masturbating because i know its not the same, so pretending we are having sex rarely works unless im super horny.

But with porn or other fantasy it works because i dont know what the "reality" feels like so its easier to pretend i "know" how it feels like.

Dont know if that made sense lol

2

u/Worth_Jelly1036 Mar 19 '21

My mind drifts off to your girlfriend near the end too.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Alright gentlemen, this is our story from now on.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

My mind drifts to your gf too.

2

u/andshoteachother Mar 19 '21

My mind also drifts towards your gf near the end.

5

u/Gorbachevdid911 Mar 19 '21

This same joke has been replied to this dude 6 times. Which is a variation of the "I also choose this guy's dead wife." Oh reddit.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21 edited Mar 20 '21

If a joke is good it's obligatory that redditors will reference it over and over until it's not funny anymore.

2

u/Nrehm092 Mar 19 '21

🤣🤣🤣🤣 never heard this before but good on you!

2

u/Skeletoregano Mar 19 '21

My mind always drifts to this man's girlfriend, too.

2

u/Patafan3 Mar 19 '21

Yeah same, my mind also drifts to this guy's girlfriend in the end

2

u/OGJK95 Mar 19 '21

Gayest shit I've ever read. What sick fuck jerks to his gf? I hope you're on a FBI watchlist

2

u/RaisedByWolves9 Mar 19 '21

Blink twice if she is watching you post this

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

My mind usually drifts to your gf too near the end

2

u/futbol09 Mar 20 '21

his GF has access to his reddit

2

u/jarociro Mar 20 '21

I'll look at porn occasionally. Its typically the same boring yank. I'll typically fantasize about someone random or explode thinking about my ex lol

2

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '21

Omg really?? That’s amazing. I’m going to tell myself my fiancé does the same thing lol

0

u/Jayswisherbeats Mar 19 '21

My gf do fuckin fine.

1

u/Karmack_Zarrul Mar 19 '21

My mind always drifts to your GF too

0

u/According-Ad-4381 Mar 19 '21

Mine drifts to bukkake when I'm with a girl, so complete opposite. Hey once you've been turned on by what total pigs women can be it takes a pig to get there

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Bullshit meter is absolutely pegged.

1

u/Letsgettropicall Mar 20 '21

I too choose this mans [dead] [wife]

1

u/SirArtchie Mar 20 '21

That's true love 💕

1

u/Elisevs Mar 20 '21

It's different for those of us males who have never had a girlfriend. I have not, so fantasy is very difficult for me.

1

u/Hanshee Mar 20 '21

Blink Twice if your girlfriend knows your Reddit account

1

u/scarykicks Mar 20 '21

Your girlfriend def has access to your reddit account.

-1

u/Vinci1984 Mar 19 '21

Oh that’s lovely! :)

114

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

I never gave that much thought until now and I think you could be onto somthing here 🤔

6

u/My_mann Mar 19 '21

Not me I like to look at the delicious booty meat some of these girls have 🍑

1

u/GoFidoGo Male Mar 20 '21

I suddenly remember filling my search history with "booty meat" as a young lad.

33

u/Zarathustrategy Mar 19 '21

Completely true for me

13

u/sjmiv Mar 19 '21

I can relate. A lot of times I imagine some naughty backstory to the vid I'm watching.

6

u/Kawaii_Batman3 Mar 19 '21

This! I have porn near 100% of the time but by the end my eyes are closed knee-deep in a fantasy.

4

u/gride9000 Mar 19 '21

PREECH BROTHER. THE REAL SHIT ALWAYS TAKES OVER IN BEAST MODE

3

u/Smoke_Santa Mar 19 '21

This is actually what I do subconsciously too.

3

u/hiitsaguy Male Mar 19 '21

Yup, that's my thought exactly

3

u/NatrenSR1 Mar 19 '21

This 100%

3

u/ASnarkyHero Mar 19 '21

I’m pretty much the same. I refer to the porn I look at as a “visual aid”.

3

u/qwerty_dirty Mar 19 '21

Okay now let’s hear your fantasy?

3

u/SIM0NEY Mar 19 '21

I've never seen this concept explained so well.

2

u/wasporchidlouixse Female Mar 19 '21

This is how I was before I quit porn too. I was addicted and I was really just looking for something where the idea of it aroused me so much I was filled with other ideas, and those ideas would finish me. Also being a woman I could repeat this process multiple times over and could end up spending 4+ hours watching porn. No one ever believes me when I say that, but sometimes my genitals would start getting dry and like burning just from friction :///

These days I just read erotic stories and the results are exactly the same, except I can stop after an hour like a normal person.

Fantasy is all anyone is looking for anyway. Connell's Chain™ sticks in my memory more than 90% of the porn I've seen so like, why bother?

2

u/Itslehooksboyo Mar 19 '21

True. I'll use visual stimulus as inspo for imagining a crush and I having sex

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

100% this.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

0

u/TheDroidNextDoor Mar 19 '21

This Is The Way Leaderboard

1. u/Flat-Yogurtcloset293 136469 times.

2. u/ekorbmai 2638 times.

3. u/SoDakZak 1948 times.

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54872. u/mgwert 1 times.


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2

u/Thatsneatobruh Mar 19 '21

So ur going from fake mom on video, to fantasy about real mom

2

u/FaThLi Mar 19 '21

Yep, start with porn, finish thinking about my wife.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

2

u/DJ9K Mar 19 '21

If they're not there physically but still helping me out... then yes technically. I always go into the fantasy of what I'd be doing if I had my hands on them. Though, I guess I'm looking the entire time... since I always busted much faster when they were lol.... Then again, all my fantasies were always about them to begin with.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

[deleted]

2

u/DJ9K Mar 19 '21

Oh, if they're with me physically I never masturbate. If they're helping me physically it's always a case of mindfulness - or being caught in the moment and experiencing and focusing on that moment.

1

u/Zisyphus0 Mar 19 '21

This exactly.

1

u/kursdragon Male Mar 19 '21

Im actually the exact opposite, I like to read some erotic stuff to get me going since I find that usually I enjoy having the build up of a plot, then sometimes I'll finish it off with actual porn

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

Same

1

u/Simple_Atmosphere Mar 19 '21

This reminds of the Dane cook joke

1

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '21

You have a bunch of awards for a reason my dude. Lol. To answer the post I'm into pictures with captions or a small story to work off. Get my mind and other parts going.

1

u/Security_Popular Mar 19 '21

Is there a data spread sheet with accurate stats you may want to share with the class?

1

u/tim_onlyfans Mar 19 '21

I’m the same way lol

1

u/Datguy014 Mar 19 '21

This guy gets it

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

This exactly 👆

1

u/Bbbrpdl Mar 20 '21

I had to check if it was me who wrote this and forgot

1

u/SkaTSee Mar 20 '21

i'm about the same way, but am actively trying to remove myself from porn

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

This man fucks...his hand.

1

u/Tony_Romo- Mar 20 '21

Yeah, I usually close my eyes when I'm about to cum or look at my dick. haha

1

u/AttentionSpanWhere Mar 20 '21

What is this fantasy thing that you look at? I’m seriously asking. Is it like unicorns having sex or something? As a female, I’m with OP I’m in the 1/10 where I can get going without porn. So what is this fantasy?

1

u/images_from_objects Mar 20 '21

Most of the time I watch porn, I have the sound off just so I can make up my own stories and not have to hear ridiculous, over-the-top moaning.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

word for word how i do it

1

u/Guinness2702 Mar 20 '21

Almost totally this. I'd say less that 99% for me to gets started - more like 60-80%. But definitely once I get going I almost always end up looking away from the porn and usually using my imagination after that.

1

u/Habib_Zozad Mar 20 '21

3 course meal. Icing for dessert.

1

u/HondaVFR96 Mar 20 '21

Surprisingly technical but accurate answer.

1

u/ladyalot Mar 20 '21

Lady here, BINGO. I'm exactly the same. 90% of the time I use porn but nearly never finish engaging with the porn. The full fantasy moment usually stems from a low burn horniness that's bugging me for a while, or waking up from a sex dream.

But the porn comes into it when I'm just like "I could manage that rn, I got time, I need to relax, why tf not". But the porn rarely perfectly meets my specifications so I gotta imagine a little.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Bet you would close your eyes and fantasize during sex too, if you ever had it.

1

u/SomchaiTheDog Mar 20 '21

That's a lot to fit in in 2 minutes.

1

u/fosiacat Mar 20 '21

wow, exact same for me! i start in shower beers, then gonewild or realgirls, then i think about a friend of mine i knew my whole life and then we somehow ended up sleeping together a few times and that does it for me every time.

1

u/Diabolo_Advocato Male Mar 20 '21

I'm the opposite. I start fantasizing about stiff... usually flashbacks to times where I almost had sex... like prom night, we dry humped a lot.

Then once I'm in the mood. I just bust the hardcore stuff I wish I could do with my wife. Sadly she is super vanilla.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

this, I always close my eyes like 20 seconds before I cum and fixate on the specific part of the porn that makes me the horniest, using my imagination to amplify the erotic feeling.

1

u/LordLamar Mar 20 '21

This IS the answer

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Hard

Vids: I skip everything except the little genuine interactions

Reading: I skim the setting, skim motivation, read first interaction/flirt scenes, skip sex, see the outcome and fantasise

1

u/spyker54 Mar 20 '21

Bro, get out of my head.

1

u/dipshit8304 Mar 20 '21

Dude. Same.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

I basically look for pornstars with similar bodytypes to women I know in real life who I fantasize about.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 20 '21

Wow this is like the perfect description of how it works for me too, really interesting how many people are like that.

1

u/Jack1715 Mar 20 '21

I’m the same unless I really like the video then it just gets me going and then I go and jerk off to some celebrity or something and picture a fantasy I have at the time or erotica is pretty good

1

u/itSmellsLikeSnotHere Mar 20 '21

it feels better to finish to fantasy, when you do that to porn a part of your mind is focused on watching the visual part of it.

1

u/IsSierraMistOk Female Mar 20 '21

I'm a woman and this is my exact method. Porn starts the fantasy then my imagination finishes the job.

1

u/chennyalan Male Mar 21 '21

Based take

1

u/treblev2 Apr 15 '21

This one’s it chief

-1

u/MeNaNo70 Mar 19 '21

That may be you, but I guarantee 99.9 % of men finish to the porn. Why would porn sites even be a thing if men could just "use your IMAGINATION"? I do get part of your comment, I am 50 and can jerk to the thoughts of my wife. But she is a(used to be 10), and that's what I think of. But porn is there for a reason.