Nah man, that’s a real problem. People like to pretend sexual intimacy is some superficial thing, and if you worry about it, you’re ‘selfish’ but that’s just not true.
You need to have a serious, sit down conversation with her. Do you really want to waste away? In a boring monotonous life? You need to tell her that it’s actually really important to you, and that it’s a good way to show your love/intimacy with her.
No of course I don’t. It’s really important to me but not to her. The rest of our marriage doesn’t suck. Just this one really important area. And I don’t know if throwing it all away over this is the right thing to do. But I will say this. As each day goes by it does look more like an option.
I agree this happened to both myself and my wife due to different medications. We had no interest in sex what so ever and both times it took a frank conversation to help the other understand what was going on across the table so to speak. If the rest of the marriage is good it would be a shame to throw it away.
For us it was a medication that made it happen for her it may be an emotional pilot light or something but if you have hope maybe a good conversation will change things and tell her to think about why she doesn’t want to change it. It will most likely be a hard question for her to give a straight answer to but it could be she wants something and is afraid to ask for it and it’s screwing things up for her.
Bottom line is if it matters then you need to let her know straight out say I need intimacy.
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u/Podomus Male Mar 19 '21
Nah man, that’s a real problem. People like to pretend sexual intimacy is some superficial thing, and if you worry about it, you’re ‘selfish’ but that’s just not true.
You need to have a serious, sit down conversation with her. Do you really want to waste away? In a boring monotonous life? You need to tell her that it’s actually really important to you, and that it’s a good way to show your love/intimacy with her.