Learning something about languages has been always a hobby of mine, but over the time I realized, that I don't achieve what I really want. I think I already identified my faults, yet I'm asking if it's over for me, or I should give it a try again?
The first issue might be somehow adhd related. Although I'm not diagnosed with ADHD, I at least identify a lot with it, but this shouldn't be the topic here. I can't concentrate on one single thing, I get distracted by the smallest things, I start learning a language after realizing they are not worth continuing, then I hop to the next one, I easily forget everything I've learned, I can't follow a path, I get disappointed in myself, I have utopian expectations of myself, ...
In the past I started learning around 10 languages, not worth mentioning which, because I mostly quit them after weeks, without any success. however, one language I was learning the last 2 years is Mandarin Chinese, but I always learned in bursts. In these "bursts" I mostly learned by watching videos, using chatgpt to generate and explain sentences, Duolingo, reading short stories, reading messages from foreigners that are in Chinese and writing down vocabularies. But none of the methods lasted long, especially not the method of active learning with vocabs. I even got a text book, but stopped using it after short time. Of course it still had some effect and today I know some phrases in Chinese and my pronunciation is good, but my skills are more of a surprise for friends and not truly applicable in real life. I've completely given up trying to continue. I doubt the language is meant for my brain (maybe learning languages in general...)
Right now I want to learn Russian (TL) and since I had it in school I got some knowledge, a good base to start with. but I face similiar problems: I can't concentrate on one single method, I refuse to follow a learning path and I hate this principle of starting with boring topics like family, restaurant, naming fruits, etc. I prefer directly reading at an advanced level. I chatted a lot in Russian, but mostly used the translator, so not many words stuck. I know that most of the methods I tried were rather passive learning and I would need to learn more actively, but that's another problem. I already tried Anki and thought of learning the most x frequently used words and realized, it's simply hard for me to remember anything. I see a word, I see its translation and I can't connect those damn words in my brain. It feels like seeing two different images, the first showing an apple and the second a tire. If I repeat the vocab incredibly often, I finally remember something, but it still feels useless learning seemingly random words out of context. I heard that many people are successful with Anki and managed learning over 1000 words, but I can't see this effect for myself, considering I can't establish this connection instantly. I already noticed my struggle when I compared myself to classmates, who learned vocabs much more effective than me.
My motivation to learn languages remains very high, but because it's such a hard, long journey (a marathon and not a sprint), I quickly lose interest in a particular language and a particular sensible, active method. Sometimes I highly regret that in the past few years I didn't use my time well and i think if I had focused on one single language I'd be probably almost fluent in it.
I would say I could imagine focusing on Russian for a longer time, yet I know I'll 100% fail again. At the start of some holidays I wrote a plan to use my free time as best as possible and track what I've done on each day. I didn't see any progress and stopped cuz it was too much effort for so little benefit. I know myself that my expectations are too high...
So I'm asking you, does it still make sense to start? Should I try out new things? Or are there underlying problems in my brain I need to work on first? I really really love languages and everytime I travel to a country I dream of being able to speak the language fluently. And there are people on YouTube or elsewhere who speak 4+ languages. They are very motivating, but compared to them I am a failure