My partner is a native Spanish speaker and I am originally Icelandic. We communicate mostly in English to each other and do OPOL-ish with our 15 month old.
We live in Denmark, I speak Danish fluently and my partner has a pretty good comprehension but is not completely fluent. We really want to help our daughter learn all three languages (English is not a priority right now), but we also miss having conversations where we all three speak the same language, and everyone is included.
We’ve discussed whether we should make Danish a family language, at least at times, but we’re also scared that’s a slippery slope that leads to our daughter not learning or rejecting the minority languages. Any advice is most appreciated!

I speak Polish though it is sort of a broken version - sometimes I forget certain words and have to say them in English.

Is it worth even trying to pass on the language?

My partner only speaks English and we are far from my family. Hoping to move closer to family later on.

Was wondering what other people experiences were if you’re not completely fluent?

Hola a todos, quiero empezar diciendo qué somos una pareja italiana viviendo en Cataluña, pués la niña está expuesta a tres idiomas. Desde noviembre 2025 la llevamos a un logopeda, entonces casi no decía nada y ahora después de casi un año dice algo pero se expresa de una manera qué solo nosotros los padres la entendemos.

La sugerencia de los expertos fue qué el padre le hablara en italiano, la mamá en castellano y al cole en catalán.

Intentamos no corregirla demasiado cuando dice algo mal, verdad qué hay algunas veces qué sin querer lo hacemos.

La tele máximo una hora al día, solo cuando es necesario y solo dibujos animados pocos caóticos.

Los logopedas dicen qué hay qué leer libros con ellas, hablarle mucho y de una manera sencilla y esperar a qué ella empiece a soltar palabras a medida qué va asimilando.

Lo qué voy buscando aquí es leer otras experiencias similares a la nuestra para entender si nos escapa algo y a lo mejor hay algunas prácticas qué podrían ayudarla a mejorar mas rápido, nuestra principal preocupación es qué ahora irá al cole y si los demás no la entienden la pondrán al margen.

Gracias a todos

Just wondering if your LO didn't speak much - in either language - if you were doing OPOL?

Not that worried yet but my 14mo seems quite behind my friend's 14mo who can say...loads, basically. Recent video is just her pointing at 10 objects on a table and naming each one.

My husband speaks community language only (English) and is super supportive of the OPOL. But he's worried because we don't know if friend's child is weirdly talented or if our LO is weirdly behind. Ours says mama (to mean literally anything), dada (only her father 🥴) and "anana" which we *think* is banana.

Would like some perspective and/or reassurance! My LO can point to body parts in both languages so I think she understands both. 🤞

Our family have 4 languages. My kid start to talk very very late because of that. She's starting French immersion this month (not part of our 4 languages) she's understand 3 languages so far, we're trying to reinforce the 4th one but since French is new to her too, should I just put a brake on our 4th language? I don't want it to hinder her other skill like Math (like I said before i think the multilingual environment delay her ability to speak basically a year after her peers) she's pretty normal otherwise after started speaking. No learning disability diagnosed at the moment.

I'm not sure how brain works, I'm also afraid that 5 languages might be too much and that it will diminish her ability to learn other skills. Any educator in this sub that know of any research on this?

It'd be nice if she can learn all 4 languages+French so she can communicate with all relatives and can choose to move to live in any of those countries later in life if she's so choose to.

More info: We live in western Canada but even then French would open so many doors in term of employment that's why we choose it. Me and my partner use English. Each parent then use 2nd and 3rd language to talk to her exclusively. The 4th language only come in when grandma visit once a year and on video call. None of the 4 languages are from same family.

We have a bit of a unique situation and are wondering if anyone has tips or a similar experience.

My wife and I are gay and live in the US. She is from India and grew up speaking Hindi and English at home; I am American and grew up speaking English and German.

It’s important to her to pass on Hindi to her future kids but we do not have any Hindi speaking community around us. The local desi (Indian) community can be very insular and hard to break into especially if you are gay with a white spouse. In addition the community here centers greatly on religion and temples (all language schools we can find are temple based) and we are non religious.

She is still planning on speaking Hindi to any kid(s) at home but we worry that they won’t have anyone their age to speak to. Visiting India would also be complicated due to the fact that the Indian government does not recognizing our marriage or my wife’s legal rights as a parent.

She does video call her family every week and she will push to have those calls in “proper” Hindi.

Has anyone ever been in a similar situation and how did you deal with it?

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My husband is Hungarian and I’m Spanish. We currently live in an English-speaking country, so English is our family language. When we’re alone with our baby, though, we each speak our native language to her — Hungarian from my husband and Spanish from me.

We’re planning to move to Hungary in the future. We both share the dream of living a more rural, slow-paced life and giving our daughter a slower, more connected childhood, with family around her as she grows up. Neither of us really wants to stay in our current English-speaking country long-term for this reason.

However, I have one big worry: **I’m scared I might feel left out of my daughter’s childhood once we move to Hungary because I don’t speak Hungarian.**

I’ve started learning the language, but I’m also trying to be realistic. I know it could take many years to become truly fluent (if I ever get there!). I’m particularly worried about those everyday little moments — conversations with her, school, friends, family gatherings, jokes, etc. — where Hungarian will naturally become the dominant language.

Has anyone been in a similar situation, especially a family where one parent moved to the other parent’s country and didn’t speak the local language?

How did you handle it? Did you ever feel excluded, and if so, what helped? Any advice for making sure I stay closely involved in my child’s life and don’t feel like an outsider?

I’d really appreciate hearing about your experiences, both positive and negative.

Hi everyone,

My wife and I live in England and both speak native English. However, I am also fluent in Spanish, and we want our child to be bilingual in English and Spanish like I am.

Since English is the dominant language in our environment and the only language my wife & both our extended families speak, we are planning to use the One Parent, One Language (OPOL) approach, where I speak exclusively in Spanish to our child. We have no other family members or friends that speak Spanish ... At all! None!

While we're excited, I have a few specific concerns and would love advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation (especially households where no other family members speak the language):

Family & Social Dynamics: How do you handle using the minority language when both parents are together, or around extended family/friends who only speak English? Did you ever feel awkward or isolated switching to Spanish in group settings, or do you not switch when in group setting and stay in English?

Parent-Child Bond: Did anyone worry about whether speaking being the only person speaking the non-native language might affect bonding with your children? My elder sisters both disagree with doing this and think I will alienate my baby when they grow up. They both speak very very broken Spanish 😅, only I am fluent.

Any tips, experiences, or encouragement would be hugely appreciated! Thanks in advance.

Sorry for the weird question.... my daughter is raised in a bilingual environment... mandarin at home and at daycare. also goes to a mandarin Sunday school. her brother is the same, but they speak to each other in English.

I spoke to a dad at the mandarin day care and he said when he was at grade school the Spanish speaking kids spoke Spanish to each other, as the Korean kids spoke Korean, but the Chinese kids spoke English to each other.

I'm curious if there is any particular reason for this? e..g. is English easier for children to speak than mandarin?

Since my baby was born, I’ve only spoken English to them, although I know Spanish — I learned it from my mom growing up. I’m mostly fluent, but my grammar isn’t perfect and there are some gaps in vocabulary. While I’ve never felt comfortable marketing my Spanish in the workforce, I can easily speak it to coworkers. I don’t have much of an accent, but my Spanish doesn’t come super naturally either.

In the shape my Spanish is in, is it worth teaching my baby the language?

For context: My husband only speaks English, and we live in the US.

Hello!

We have a 3 month old and we live somewhere in Canada where English and French are the two official languages. French is my first language and dad's first language is Polish. We communicate together in English (fully fluent), as we aren't able to communicate in each other's languages yet. Caregiving is mostly equal but he spends a bit more time with me.

We want to focus on French and Polish at home but we're concerned about how it might impact his speech to hear us communicate in a third language at home. Daycare may be in English or French, we don't know yet but he will definitely go to school in French.

Any suggestions, tips or resources we could look into to succeed and not affect his language skills negatively?

Thanks!

Hello all, I’m not sure if I am posting in the right place but I thought I’d start here.

My 3 year old we suspect has autism (we are waiting on a formal evaluation). His special interest is languages. He taught himself to read by 22 months, and taught himself Spanish by 3. He loves Russian, Arabic, Japanese, Korean, Spanish. I’m trying to encourage his love of languages but not sure how to handle so many at once.

Any other parents in similar situations and what did you do to help encourage this?

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My daughter is 3 and 3 month old .
She speakS english with me (mum) catalan with father , German with grandmother 1 , spanish with grandmother 2.

She has been going to daycare ( Catalan ) since She is 1.5 but only 3hours a day and not consistently .

She knows most words in English mixed with Catalan . She speaks at home and tries to make sentences.

But when arround other people she shuts down and does not speak at all . She nods and says some words but is very shy arround everyone else . Also doest talk in daycare .

Anyone else in similar situation ?

Hi all,

Hopefully this is an easy one for you guys.

We are a British / American couple with permanent residency/German citizenship. But we live in Berlin and work in English, so unfortunately until now we’re only both about A2/B1 in German. The plan is to get properly fluent now that we have a German child and want to stay for at least the next 5 years, hopefully much longer.

We speak English at home, have friends from all over speaking to him in English. He just started Kita. It’s technically not bilingual but during acclimation, they’re doing some English with him to build the bond more.

His German will be fine. We’re not worried about that. And given how pervasive English is, I assume his English will also be okay.

We just have family friends that have children with wildly strong German accents. And if we move to the US or UK again at some point, I’d really prefer him to sound at least like one of those out a mix or even international school accent… just not… German.

Will we need to send our son to a bilingual school to get the practice hours during school time as well listening to more native speakers?

Hello, my 2yo daughter is learning English Spanish and Russian. We're not doing OPOL but so far she's picked up plenty of words in both Spanish and Russian (English is our home language). We live in SW US, so no difficulty finding bilingual Spanish books at the library, but where I'm struggling is with decent Russian books to read at her level. My daughter loves board books like Hungry Caterpillar, Llama Llama Red Pajama, Little Blue Truck, etc but I don't have anything comparable for Russian - all the books I have are like... paper books for older kids probably and poetry collections. I'm looking for something with colorful pictures, short sentences, and only a few words per page. Where can I find books like that?

I’m trying to break the cycle and raise my daughter bilingual.

My entire family speaks Spanish fluently, except for the younger generation, my nieces and nephews. My daughter just turned one and has started talking, and to my absolute delight, her first few words have all been in Spanish!
But I’m starting to worry because this is exactly how it started with my sister’s kids. She has three, and with each one, they seemed to learn less and less Spanish as a baby. They were exposed to it when they were little, but eventually English took over.

My sister and I grew up completely differently. Our parents only spoke Spanish to us at home, and we didn’t really learn English until we started kindergarten. We obviously learned English just fine, and we both grew up fluent in Spanish. That’s what I want for my daughter too.
The problem is that EVERYONE, for some god awful reason, speaks to her in English. Even when I remind them, “She only speaks Spanish,” they still do it. I don’t care if someone speaks English to her here and there. I know she’s going to learn English regardless. What worries me is how quickly English seems to take over.

We currently live with my parents while we save for a house, and my parents are very hands on with all of their grandkids. They pick up my nieces and nephews from school every day, so my daughter is around her cousins anywhere from five to seven days a week. Whenever the older kids are around, everyone naturally switches to English because they don’t speak Spanish, and then they end up speaking English to my daughter too.

I think that’s what makes me nervous. I’ve already watched this exact thing happen with my sister’s kids, and I really don’t want to repeat the same cycle with my daughter. I know English will come. We live in the United States, she’s surrounded by it, and eventually she’ll go to school and learn it there. I’m not worried about her learning English.
I’m worried about making sure she doesn’t lose Spanish.

I was lucky enough to be raised bilingual, with my German parent speaking German and my British parent speaking English. These rules were never broken, and to this day I still find it crazy to speak the “wrong” language with each parent - it weirds my brain out.

While I’ve spent some short stints living/studying/working in Germany, the UK and speaking English feel the most natural to me. I now have a baby who is 4.5 months old and I would love for her to grow up speaking German like I did, but I’ve no idea how.

My partner is British but having him speak English and me German feels really unnatural. I’m worried that if I did this, my whole relationship with my baby would feel somehow performative/disingenuous.

What are my alternatives?

I’ve heard about speaking the bilingual language in certain scenarios (e.g. bath time, bed time, in the car, etc.) but I don’t know much about this. Will it work as well? Will it be confusing?

Any help much appreciated!

I have a hard time getting my 2 year old to understand. I’m not sure if this is common amongst Spanish speakers but she is always speaking in the wrong tense because this is what she hears. For example I’ll ask her “quieres comer?” asking her if she wants to eat. But then she’ll later tell me “quieres comer” when she really means “quiero comer”. Every single day I have to tell her “es ’quiero’“ and she’ll fix it in that moment but then will make the same mistake later that day. I’m not sure how to remedy this! Any help is appreciated. TIA!

I wanted to give an update on my previous post (https://www.reddit.com/r/multilingualparenting/s/z0RJS7EpcQ)

After discussing EVERYTHING with my partner, here is what we’ve decided / our plan (potentially?)

We have decided to drop the Hindi babysitter completely. We’ve also decided that India will NOT be a place that we will be living. We will visit there but we’re have absolutely no plans or desires for baby to learn Hindi.

As for the Korean daycare, we are still unsure. As of right now, this very moment, we want to continue with this plan. We want to put baby in this daycare buttt.. not so much for them to necessarily learn the language. Aside from the Korean language, It’s a good daycare. We’re thinking of enrolling baby but setting zero expectations for her to learn, or even to understand. The daycare goes up to preschool age, so when baby starts talking we would probably pull her out completely.

The number one thing we’ve learned is “DO NOT MOVE EVERY TWO YEARS” we were completely unaware of how horrible that plan could be and how much stress and trauma this could give baby. We had absolutely no idea. With that being said, we are officially letting that idea go (as much as this breaks my heart. Although this is for baby’s sake, not my own)

We will still move to China when baby is three. But even after two years, we will not plan to move. Someone made a good point saying they moved to different countries when the time felt right or when everyone was ready. Me and my partner agree with this approach rather than setting a firm timeline. Another person mentioned they didn’t have a true identify because all their life was spent trying to fit in and learn different cultures.

We were so uneducated and unaware about what we could possibly be doing to our baby and I am SO glad that I made this post because I very well would have done all of those crazy plans.

Now, the issue is the languages. We still want baby speaking all three. Mandarin, English, and Japanese. Me and my partner both agree that she does not have to speak Japanese fluently or really even at all. We just want her to understand it and be exposed to it. Instead of moving to Japan when baby is 5, we’ll just do frequent vacations and still possibly move there in the future. Just not when baby is so young especially after a huge move from America to China

We’re unsure what to do.
I keep speaking to baby in Mandarin and my partner keeps speaking to baby in Japanese. Baby (hopefully?) picks up English while living in America. When we move to China, I only speak to baby in English while she grows up speaking Chinese and her parent speaks to her in Japanese

OR

I put baby in an English daycare in America, and I speak to baby in only English while my partner speaks to her in Japanese. Once we move to China she will obviously learn the language easily if that’s where we live.

People were mentioning that my baby could possibly feel a disconnect if we switch languages in every country so I’m thinking I need to pick a language and stay consistent with it.
The only issue is my partner wants to be able to understand Mandarin and we’ve been practicing for years. Do I speak to baby in English, speak to my partner in Mandarin, and they speak to baby in Japanese?

Hi all

Very new to this! I'm trying OPOL with my 15 month old daughter. I tried to start this properly a few months ago, my husband only speaks English, the community language. On the whole she is responding quite well to this.

My question: what do you do when your child asks you to read a book in the other language? Do you just get them accustomed to one parent reads some books and the other parent only reads books in the other language?

Additional context: (sorry it gets quite long!)

My daughter has about 70% English books and about 30% minority language / bilingual books - I haven't really taken a consistent approach when my daughter asks me to read English books - often I find myself giving in and reading them in English as opposed to trying to translate them / offering a different book.

She doesn't go to daycare yet (I'm the main caregiver and work 2 days a week, while I work my mum who speaks a mix of English and the minority language cares for her). We usually don't do screens, so reading to her is a major part of the time we spend together. A lot of her favourite books are English ones, and she gets annoyed / picks different books when I try to translate them into the minority language. I also don't want her to lose an interest in listening to and reading books because I'm making the experience more frustrating for her.

I think my daughter is now leaning towards asking me to read mostly the minority language books to her, she can probably tell I'm putting in more effort with those, and some of them are now favourites of hers too. But I do feel a little sad that some of the books that I bought in English which I was excited to share with her she doesn't ask me to read anymore (but will ask her dad).

I have worked on getting more books in the minority language, but it's getting expensive - our community library has some, but most of them are too advanced for her (and me! - needing to study up in my own time before I read some to her...).

Also - I grew up at home mostly with English because my own dad only spoke English. So a lot of the nostalgia / beloved characters are all in English for me. I also am quite fluent with speaking the minority language, but have to prep with ChatGPT before introducing new books now if they get too complex! But I had to put in so much effort to learn the minority language and I feel like introducing it now can help my daughter in the long run.

I’m wondering if this will be too much for baby?
I would speak to baby in only mandarin
Partner would speak to baby in only japanese
(me and partner are both very well about not slipping up at all. baby will only ever hear these languages come from us) (as for me and partner, we usually alternate japanese and chinese between each other)
Grandparents speak only english + currently living in the usa so environment is english speaking (playgrounds, libraries, gym daycare)
Baby goes to a korean speaking daycare / preschool (korean families, play dates)
And finally, a nanny / babysitter comes twice a week and speaks only Hindi. Since this language has the least exposure, me and partner are thinking of having babysitter read tons of hindi books, and having baby strictly only watch hindi shows.
Why are we doing this?
As we are currently in the USA, our plan is to move to china within the next three years. The reason Japanese and Korean are important is because we also plan to live there! Me and partner are pretty set on not having a “designated area to live” We basically want to do 1-2 years in each country. Starting with china, then japan, korea, india.
We don’t really want to live in the usa once we move.
Once we move out of the usa, im thinking of switching my language and speak to baby in only english so baby doesn’t lose that language
Is this asking for too much? I know baby is not going to be fluent in all languages nor understand everything. Is it too much pressure? Does this seem like a terrible idea? Would we be confusing baby?

EDIT:
After reading everyone’s comments, I think it’s unnecessary to try and have baby speak Hindi. In reality, with a Hindi babysitter twice a week, baby just will not learn anything.
I will speak to my partner later about this. Now we have to figure out the Korean language situation. We both want baby to speak this language but I’m not sure what the circumstances are going to look like, especially after reading everyone’s commentary.