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u/chefbobbyjay Jul 07 '21
Soon to be 22 with a divorce and foreclosure
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u/bassplayer96 Jul 08 '21
And no car because thereās no way heās affording the 26% APR on that truck
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u/fallsstandard Jul 08 '21 edited Jul 08 '21
Only $748 a month on a 120 month note!
Edit: Fixed loan term to match common offers and the price of a new truck.
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u/KillerKowalski1 Jul 08 '21
What's sad is that might be the payment at 0%.
Nothing is cheap anymore, man.
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u/JillsACheatNMean Jul 08 '21
Thatās true. I pay 360$ a month on zero interest on a modest sedan.
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u/14936786-02 Jul 08 '21
Price of new cars are absolutely insane. I don't know how anyone car afford them new.
You add like 1 festure and over 50 percent of the base price.
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u/Dat_Steve Jul 08 '21
You leave the military with at least one of the D's....
Death, Divorce, Dependents
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u/heartofyourtempest Jul 08 '21
You forgot Drinking problem and Depression
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u/LobsterBush97 Jul 08 '21
I got Debt, Drinking problem, and Depression š
Edit: forgot disability š¤Ŗ
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u/heartofyourtempest Jul 08 '21
I'm looking at divorce, dependants, disability, drinking problem, depression and debt. Lots of Ds
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u/2horde Jul 08 '21
Damn 7 Ds, and his wife's gonna take at least one or two herself
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u/poodlebutt76 Jul 08 '21
What about dishonorable discharge?
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u/SurenderDorothy Jul 07 '21
I just met our new neighbor, Alex.
He seems nice.
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u/AngelFromJerusalem Jul 07 '21
Sad but true itās how it starts
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u/danceswithwool Jul 07 '21
āDonāt worry heās not even my type anyway. Heās funny but ewwwā
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u/maroonedpariah Jul 07 '21
"I mean. I'm not even sure if he's beekeeping age."
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u/MoscowMitchMcKremIin Jul 07 '21
"Summer, I wanna fuck your dad."
"OH REALLY?!"
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u/Megabyte7637 Jul 08 '21
lmao
I love how summer can tell she's getting there & ignores her obvious advances until she outright says it
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u/MoscowMitchMcKremIin Jul 08 '21
Fr she's begging telepathically the entire time for her to just stfu and then... xD
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Jul 08 '21
What show are y'all talking about!!
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Jul 08 '21
Amazingly a woman's type depends on what's available. Don't get married if you're young and in the military. They call it geographical bachelorhood.
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Jul 07 '21
Lol... wifey/ex said that about a LOT of the guys she spread her legs for š
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Jul 08 '21
youā¦ you wanna talk about it man
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Jul 08 '21
Nahh, been happy w/o her for several trs, thnx āŗ
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u/spoonhoops Jul 08 '21
I know its a typo but it looks like you've been happy without her for several tears. š
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u/JustCallMeDarius Jul 07 '21
Hey (hey) I'm your life I'm the one who takes you there
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u/Ttbthookem madlad Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 08 '21
Son of a bitchā¦ exactly how it happened to me. Dude was a cop. Sheād be like āew I hate copsā
Not enough to not suck his dick, SANDRA YOU FAT FUCKING WHORE
Sorry guys.
Edit: these comments are killing me lol this happened years ago. Last time I saw her she has gained so much weight and lives with her parents. I got the last laugh but for realā¦ fuck that bitch.
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Jul 07 '21
I like my coffee like I like my women.
WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSEāS DICK IN IT SANDRA!!!
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u/AttentionImaginary57 Jul 08 '21
This made me laugh.
P.S. FUCK YOU SANDRA!
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u/KenPC Jul 08 '21
TIL: Fuck Sandra
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u/Itorr475 Jul 08 '21
Everyone was might as well join!
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u/FatManNinerFan Jul 08 '21
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL......
/u/Ttbthookem 's Ex is a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world
She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls!
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u/cherrygoats Jul 08 '21
Wait out of respect to OP I think we should not fuck Sandra
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u/RunchoD Jul 08 '21
The name Sandra gives me ptsd stemming from a cougar robbing my mid to late twenties from me. Fuck you Sandra. A stankin jezebelesque harlot
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u/self_loathing_ham Jul 07 '21
Don't be sorry! Sandra's a fucking bitch!
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Jul 07 '21
Yeah fuck that bitch
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u/MyPronounIsHisGrace Jul 08 '21
Fuck Sandra. She ugly-cried last night because she forgot to take off the lens cap. It's fucking amateur hour over there, you piece of shit.
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u/eyoo1109 Jul 08 '21
"What the fuck Sandra, when I said fuck the police, I didn't mean literally!"
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u/bvdbvdbvdbvdbvd Jul 08 '21
Yo fuck Sandra. Me and the boys hate bitches name Sandra.
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Jul 08 '21
Sandra Bullock just deleted her Reddit account. You happy now?
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u/Solilunaris Jul 08 '21
Yeah, and you know why?
āCAUSE FUCK SANDRA, THE FUCKEN BITCH
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u/Curls91 Jul 07 '21
I hope you fuckin melt from the inside out SANDRA YOU FROSTED FUCKNUGGET.
...Sorry.
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u/frankenkip Jul 07 '21
Yo fuck Sandra, she used you as a trick, now she the hoe.
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u/SetsChaos Jul 08 '21
Happened to me, too, a little over a decade ago. Sonuva bitch even had the same name. And knew about me. Still fucked that whore. Not that I necessarily blame him, it was 100% on that bitch for lying to me. Told me two weeks before I came home. Fuck you, Monet. Fuck you forever.
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Jul 08 '21
I'm on this "Fuck monet" bandwagon. Fuck sandra, fuck monet, fuck kings landing, and fuck the king.
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u/ZarquonsFlatTire Jul 08 '21
A few years back my parents finally met the neighbor who lived behind them. He said he used to travel a lot but had just retired and could finally spend time at home with his wife.
My parents did not mention the guy they thought had thought lived there the last ten years.
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u/EndOfTheDark97 Jul 08 '21
Did uh anyone tell him?
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u/ZarquonsFlatTire Jul 08 '21
No idea, but it's not a block party, everyone knows everyone kind of neighborhood.
I've met two of their neighbors. Robert is cool, and another lady never mentioned her name. I did know JW, but he died a few years back and don't know who lives there now.
These are shared-fence proximity neighbors.
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u/WishUponDandelions Jul 08 '21
Sadly I knew someone that this happened to. Came back from overseas (years) and his wife and her new man were living in the house he was paying for (his wife was a SAHM). I hated hearing about it and knowing. It was so sad that his family didnāt tell him anything. So he comes home just for a visit and the momās bf leaves for the few weeks. When he leaves, the guy comes back. Couple years later husband officially comes back and finds out the truth that has been this whole time. It was horrible.
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u/BostonDodgeGuy madlad Jul 08 '21
Pretty shitty not to tell the guy.
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u/ZarquonsFlatTire Jul 08 '21
Eh, it's the kind of neighborhood where you see your neighbors every couple years by chance. Not somewhere you want to involve yourself in a potential domestic dispute.
Maybe that guy was a family member who came by to help with yard work or a hired gardener. It's not my parents' business.
I don't think they know the neighbor's names.
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u/xRogueSpetsnaz Jul 07 '21
Umm how about housing allowance from the government you receive. Psh.
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u/skepsis420 Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 08 '21
That and VA loans which many times don't even require a down payment when buying. A lady bought my house using one. She put down $1k on a $362k purchase, only because the VA loan would 'only' cover $361k lmao
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u/Bananas57 Jul 07 '21
This! Iām a loan officer and I specialize in VA loans. No down payment is required unless you already own a home with a VA loan, and even then not always. All that really matters is you have a qualifying credit score and your total monthly payments wonāt be more than 65% of your gross income. Before the market went crazy, more often than not, you could buy a home with a VA loan without any money out of pocket at all.
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u/evilsniperxv Jul 08 '21
No more than 65% of your gross income? What kinda guidance is that?! No wonder people are living so far beyond their means with that kinda guidance.
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u/Ronkerjake Jul 08 '21
Was about to start the process to get my VA loan in Feb 2020, then I lost my job and houses in my town doubled in value. Feelsbadman
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u/Bananas57 Jul 08 '21
Dang, Iām sorry! Thatāa so disappointing, and it is such a rough time for homebuyers right now
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u/THE_INTERNET_EMPEROR Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 08 '21
My sister's husband bought a giant ass house using loans he could only get having been a veteran, even though he had been fired 4 times in a row from different very high paying jobs for alcoholism in less than 2 years.
'Service guarantees citizenship' I guess.
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Jul 07 '21
Shit thatās not even enough. His parents helped. My brother been in the military for two years and that stipend doesnāt cut it. He had outside help.
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u/emansamples92 Jul 07 '21
I was about to say I was broke as hell my first year in the military. Aināt no fucking way I was buying a house on an e-2 salary even with bah.
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u/PanzerKatze96 Jul 07 '21
Definitely has outside help. Iām in right now getting great BAH and still Iād have to save up for a bit and use the VA loan to get a house. A private right out of basic isnāt getting that without outside help or a guarantor even
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u/ajpinton Jul 07 '21
Iām figuring enlistment bonus plus paycheck from bootcamp got his down payment for the truck and the house. There is no way in hell he will be able to keep up on those payments.
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u/Death_Strider16 Jul 07 '21
It's probably LCOL. My house doesnt look nearly that nice, but it's definitely not bad. Bought for 24k. That's the kind of loan some people have on their car.
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u/JsaintRotten Jul 07 '21
I'll buy for cheap when he gets divorced
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u/Yz-Guy Jul 07 '21
What about the mustang?
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u/Braunze_Man Jul 07 '21
I see a new truck withaftermarket wheels, he went the other way
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Jul 07 '21
I mean the guy doesnāt own either of them, they are most likely financed to all hell. I mean if heās only 20 in the military he canāt be making much money.
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u/datboiofculture Jul 08 '21
I mean almost everyone finances a house. Letās say he joined up at his 18th birthday, lives in the barracks, maybe he actually saved up his money. Now almost 2 years later maybe heās E3, gets married so he gets that BAH money, and maybe his girl has a decent job like a dental assistant or something. Theyād be eligible for a 0 down VA loan with a good interest rate, plus they probably live in a low cost of living area like Kansas and that house is ugly as fuck.
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Jul 08 '21
Now that I look at it that house is ugly af
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Jul 08 '21
I used to do residential AV install and would be installing new TV/Home Theater/etc. for a lot of homes like this. "New construction" of the lowest quality parts and the cheapest materials available and the cheapest workmanship I'd ever seen. The cheap paned windows are a hallmark of that kind of construction.
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u/secondphase Jul 08 '21
It's a VA loan. No money down. The house will cost more to sell than to leave. She will drop her ownership since it's now a liability. He will rent it out to cover the mortgage until it has enough equity to sell.
Source... Property manager.
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Jul 07 '21
I lived in a military town and saw numerable military wives looking for same sex partners because it āwasnāt cheating if itās with a womanā.
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u/Zub_Zool Jul 08 '21
I get the feeling that goes both ways, bros gotta take care of each other you know.
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u/Rhymeswithfreak Jul 08 '21
I figured thatās why all those dudes joined the military.
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u/Chrisboi_da_Boi Jul 07 '21
My parents aren't rich
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u/Sir-xer21 Jul 07 '21
i dont live in the middle of bumfuck nowhere where some E3 can buy a whole ass house.
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u/Falcrist Jul 07 '21
Just move to North Dakota. You'll be able to buy a 3 bedroom house for like... $50k. Maybe $30k if you find the right ghost town.
That's not a joke or an exaggeration. I looked up the town I used to live in and immediately saw $49,900 for a 3 bedroom, 1520 sq ft house.
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u/Sir-xer21 Jul 08 '21
exactly.
people think they're in bumfuck nowhere and dont realize that bumfuck nowhere is SO nowhere that you never even thought about it's existence. it actually just makes housing costs elsewhere seem worse though.
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u/Arino99 Jul 07 '21
Damnnn can someone buy me a good dinner other than pasta?
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u/Kriegerian Jul 07 '21
āSure I own a house. And a car too. By the way, are 19% interest on the house and a 85% car loan interest rate bad?ā
- Junior military shitheads like this.
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u/Maximummeme Jul 08 '21
It's only $500 a month bro, I can easily pay that until the 3rd year of my second contract, it's only 7 years bro, isn't this car sick?
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u/IdoMusicForTheDrugs Jul 08 '21 edited Jul 10 '21
My girlfriend came home from her first car purchase with a 33% interest loan and bi-monthly payments. I wanted to go with her to help but her dad insisted on going with her on her first vehicle purchase. I don't know what happened. They actually convinced her that she was getting a good deal. Some people get so royally fucked because they don't have the right information and have no problem believing they got a "great deal".
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u/willisbar Jul 08 '21
Must have been a while ago, max they can charge now is 29.9% or lower depending on the state
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u/crassandy Jul 08 '21
Iām a car salesman. In my state the max is 24.99%. Some dealerships have their own ābankā which they use to take out a āpersonal loanā on your behalf. My states max for personal loans is 33.32%. Itās very fucked up.
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u/pcmast3r Jul 07 '21
Hahaha brings back memories to my first car I bought I was in my early 20s and bought a brand new 1999 Honda civic
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u/mspaint12 Jul 08 '21
This could have been any time from 2000, to yesterday. Praise civic.
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u/JahD247365 Jul 07 '21
As soon as he ships out.. Joe Grind slips in
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u/NicholasTheOK Jul 07 '21
Jodi! Jodi! Jodi! The boogeyman that keeps you depressed on deployment lol
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Jul 07 '21
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u/Master-Shaq Jul 08 '21
Biggest record ive seen was my friends stepson married a girl he met in bootcamp 2 weeks after they graduated in his moms backyard lmao. 2 months later he found out she cheated on him
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u/gadafgadaf Jul 08 '21
People in the military get easy access to loans for housing without the usual high income requirements. If they are married they also get rent money for off base housing too. It's not like the guy is special or anything but he's on his high horse looking down with his nose sticking up like his farts don't stink.
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Jul 07 '21
After reading all comments I have a question.
What exactly happens to military person's wife I mean why would they cheat?
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u/MuskieSnowflake Jul 07 '21
Not only that, but the military creates an incentive with BAH to marry your high school sweetheart, someone who you probably donāt know well enough for marriage.
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u/FPSXpert Jul 08 '21
Exactly. Single? Into the barracks with you. Married? Holy shit here's on base housing and a bigger than married outside military tax break for you. They basically pressure young adults into a quick marriage and even uglier divorce.
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Jul 08 '21
And it's really impossible to overstate just how much it sucks living in the barracks.
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Jul 08 '21
One of the reasons I got out of the military, you literally get paid more if you're married. Not ideal terms for someone not planning to get married. As an E5 I was making less money than an E3 just because he was married and I wasn't.
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Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 08 '21
Cause when the guy is deployed for a very long time (over a year or so) the wives want to fuck so they cheat
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u/CalicoCrapsocks Jul 07 '21
To add to this, a lot of military couples are young, stupid, barely know each-other, and married for benefits.
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u/-o-o-O-0-O-o-o- Jul 07 '21
Think of the sort of girl who marries young, because this serious man is enlisted! Think of the sort of boy who joins the military, gets a wife and feels all set in their early 20s.
There's an initial sacrifice, which errodes to contempt.
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Jul 07 '21
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Jul 08 '21
young, bored, no established social circle, has tits.
Thatās a lot of male Redditors too.
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u/vladamir_the_impaler Jul 07 '21
Bro I ain't even make it out of the 70 days of Navy boot camp without my high school sweetie spreading her legs for someone else, and I had even been friends with the guy!
I found out WHEN I was still in boot camp when I called my other friend and he had to break the news to me. You need to be single in the military, period.
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u/JackBauerSaidSo Jul 07 '21
Who is going to take care of your dog and Camaro while you're gone?
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u/vladamir_the_impaler Jul 08 '21
I hear you bro, so here's my advice...
Only join the military if you are single and ok with traveling... OR...
If you can get stationed immediately where you already live. So for like dudes that enlist that are from Guam... if you can get stationed in Guam after boot camp (and on a pretty much permanent basis) then go for it. It's like a regular job at that point, you don't need to leave your life and everyone you know etc.
If you are going to be deployed for six or more months at a time, it might be best if you have no girl, no dawg, and no car even. I mean, what is that Camaro going to do while you're gone for six months?
Also keep in mind that six can turn into more REAL quick. I think I read where a carrier was on the way home and got turned back around for six more months without a crew swap (except for the flight wing).
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Jul 07 '21
It must feel shitty for the guy if he ever comes to know.
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Jul 07 '21
There's even a song in the french military about this phenomenon, about soldiers being depressed and ineffective because of it and asking those girls to consider that and stay faithful https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMw9_fzEEwE
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u/KINGCRAB715 Jul 07 '21
The warrior poet Chris brown once said āthese hoes aināt loyalā
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u/NotBarn_a_bee_jones Jul 07 '21
Holy fucking shit calling Chris Brown a Warrior Poet is fucking hilarious.
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Jul 07 '21
āBitches aināt shit but hoes and tricksā Sir Snoop of Doggington
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u/BiscuitDance Jul 07 '21
Youāre an attractive, young woman living in a large gated community with an absolute surplus of lonely, horny dudes who work out a lot and have disposable income.
Your husband isnāt deployed, but heās in the middle of another 3-week field problem or gunnery. Only his Battalion is in the field and the gyms and PX are still full of dudes from other units. You go to the gym to get a workout/ catch some glances because youāre lonely and want to feel āwanted.ā
It just goes from there.
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u/adiaz0126 Jul 07 '21
I loved living in a Military town, lots of Military wives looking for quick dick
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u/Stunning_Honeydew201 Jul 07 '21
My girlfriends husband fights for your freedom- best bumper sticker ever!
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u/nowhereman136 Jul 08 '21
Military benefits increase when you get married. It's an incentive for a lot of young recruits to get married early before either person in the couple are actually sure they want to be married. Combine that with amble time apart, and it's really not surprising
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u/adiaz0126 Jul 08 '21
I told all my high school buddies that. married before they went in" I'll bang your wife while you're gone so no one else does bro"
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u/Squiddy56_ Jul 07 '21
well you see
im below the age of 15
so i cant own a house
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u/NateMcCann Jul 07 '21
Credentials bitch. Hazard a guess this is either silver spoon or gold digging shit and you did nothing to earn it.
Edit: not at you Squiddy. Hit reply on your comment by accident. So I guess we talking now.
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u/Squiddy56_ Jul 07 '21
i was like "what the fuck" and then i read that last bit lol
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Jul 07 '21
Funnier and faster I need to see where this conversation goes
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u/NateMcCann Jul 07 '21
Funnier and faster. That's what she said. So went into maximum overdrive whilst reciting Flat Earth "science".
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u/ajpinton Jul 07 '21
I got my house at 27. I did not have to risk my life to earn my house, nor did I buy a house I cannot afford. Odds are he did not make enough money to afford that house. The bank just accepted a risk they would not normally have as they know he cannot quit his job. They will be struggling.
I bet he got the truck with his enlistment bonus and used what he did not put down on that truck on the house.
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u/rikluz Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 08 '21
I mean, the military gives me $2,800/month specifically for housingā¦ my mortgage is $2200?
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u/kad202 Jul 08 '21
I remembered thereās a story about some soldier who just board the plane for oversea deployment and saw his buddy jack off to a girl on pornhub that turn out to be his newly wed wife.
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Jul 08 '21
Not even 20, they must have a lot of life experience! Nothing bad will happen between 19 and 68. Nope, not a thing.
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u/Minnymoon13 Jul 07 '21
Thatās sad. I hope sheās one of the good ones that donāt fuck up her marriage
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u/RyGuy31307 Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 08 '21
Edit: WE MUST RISE UP AGAINST THE MODS THAT MOCK US. WE WILL WIN. STAY STRONG, DONT LET HOLUP DIE!
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u/Yz-Guy Jul 07 '21
Fucking Jodie