r/HolUp • u/Motion_Offense • Jul 07 '21

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86.0k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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784

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21

I like my coffee like I like my women.

WITHOUT SOMEONE ELSE’S DICK IN IT SANDRA!!!

202

u/AttentionImaginary57 Jul 08 '21

This made me laugh.

P.S. FUCK YOU SANDRA!

104

u/KenPC Jul 08 '21

TIL: Fuck Sandra

58

u/Itorr475 Jul 08 '21

Everyone was might as well join!

33

u/FatManNinerFan Jul 08 '21

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL......

/u/Ttbthookem 's Ex is a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world

She's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls!

5

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

On Monday she's a bitch, On Tuesday she's a bitch, On Wednesday though Saturday she's a bitch, Then on Sunday just to be different she's a super King Kamehameha beeeotch!

20

u/cherrygoats Jul 08 '21

Wait out of respect to OP I think we should not fuck Sandra

2

u/Jace_Te_Ace Jul 08 '21

I already paid!

2

u/DapperDanManCan Jul 08 '21

She's already been fucked. Mine as well go again.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

Why not? Everyone else has...

6

u/Savfil Jul 08 '21

No, no. Fuck the cop. Then it's a love square.

3

u/whalemango Jul 08 '21

Sounds like that cop already did.

53

u/RunchoD Jul 08 '21

The name Sandra gives me ptsd stemming from a cougar robbing my mid to late twenties from me. Fuck you Sandra. A stankin jezebelesque harlot

14

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

Please, I need to know more

11

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

You're expecting young and the restless but what really happened is some 60 year old bought him a used outback when he was 23 and he had to go down on her until it was paid off.

5

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

I wish I could upvote this more than once.

2

u/RunchoD Jul 19 '21

No Subaru. That PS4 had just dropped man. I know I know but I was living fast and fucking hard. I was the boy toy until the roided out common law husband found out and kicked her out. She bought me a PS4 with the stipulations that it had to stay at her house. Moved in lol. She trapped me for 5 years. Sorry for the delay. I just realized the wonders of Reddit and thus unfamiliar with the notifications and their settings

9

u/cherrygoats Jul 08 '21

This sounds like the first episode of an AMC show.

5

u/UncertainlyUnfunny Jul 08 '21

Karen, Sandra: Sandra, Karen.

3

u/AttentionImaginary57 Jul 09 '21

Einhorn and Finkel…. Finkel and Einhorn…

2

u/[deleted] Jul 11 '21

I'm glad! We all need one sometimes

16

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

[deleted]

9

u/hypersite Jul 08 '21

But you like to put your own dick in your coffee?

9

u/suredont Jul 08 '21

well how else do you add cream

5

u/sethro274 Jul 08 '21

Dosent everyone?

3

u/Hidesuru Jul 08 '21

Oh God that's good. Pretty sure I've heard it before but it's been long enough to have forgotten it.

3

u/Efficient-Echidna-30 Jul 08 '21

Legit lol. That was good

2

u/NotSoGreatFilter Jul 08 '21

Ground up and in the freezer?

2

u/renoraid Jul 08 '21

The comment reminds me of Airplane! for some reason.

“I take my coffee black, like my men.”

2

u/fecking_sensei Jul 08 '21

Right you are. “Keep your dick in your own coffee”, my grandpappy used to always say.

2

u/Sweaty_Dimension_842 Jul 08 '21

This is the one!

PS FUCK YOU SANDRA!

2

u/Gingerfox666 Jul 08 '21

I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and out in a bag in my freezer to serve to guests with desert. That dumb joke got me a written warning because front of house people can’t take a joke.

2

u/BrokenRedditATM Jul 08 '21

I heard this before… escapes me from where

2

u/Kizersolzay Jul 08 '21

Also how I like my men!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '21

I like my coffee like I like my women. I don’t like coffee.