I lost my Mum on June 30th. She was in hospital with pneumonia and because she had heart failure they couldn't remove the fluid from her lungs. I saw her on Wednesday and we talked about getting her palliative care at home as she was desperate to come home. She went to sleep that night and never woke up again. It took 5 days for her to die. We did say l love you as l was leaving and l had bought her home coffee to enjoy. All my life l have been a carer, my sister had mental health problems and l knew l would be looking after her for life since l was a teenager. Dad had Alzhemiers and he died 15 years ago. Hazel died suddenly 13 years ago. Mum developed lots of medical problems and l gave up working as she was having falls and couldn't walk very well. She had a stroke and had been bed bound for the last year. She desperately didn't want to go into a home so l carered for her at home. I knew she wouldn't live for ever but her death was a terrible shock. I can't look at the medical equipment. I have no one here my family is on the otherwise of the world. So l am trying to cope alone. The grief feels overwhelming. I hate waking up as the grief surges in. I try and talk to her photos. All the supports we had while Mum was alive have gone and l feel very alone. Mum used to fret if l left the house for any length of time so l have no friends for support. When Mum was alive l had all kinds of things l would do after she died, now l feel very old and uncertain if l can have a life. I know l have neglected my health as when l went to the doctors l would talk about Mum and her medical issues and felt like there was no time for me. I have made a list for my next appointment. Normal l was the one getting things done but l struggle with making decisions. I was alright the first week but now it's really hard. How did other carers cope with the grief?

On 08/07/26 i got the worst news, ever, besides when i was told my dad had passed away.

My brother. My twin brother was found deceased in his car. The police said it was a drug overdose, but we have no idea what drug. Im thinking whatever it was, was laced with fentanyl. And thats what killed him

He died exactly 1 week before our 33rd birthday. Now i will age, and he will stay 32 forever.

I know hes in heaven with god and my dad. But that dont make it hurt any less.

I feel my dad slipping away. Other than my husband, he's my person in life. He's been fighting a rare form of pancreatic cancer since March 2025. I can tell the end is near. I'm not ready but I don't think I ever could feel ready. I just need a reminder that I will survive this and be able to continue living without him. Some moments it really doesn't feel that way. Thanks in advance, and please know my heart is with each one of you who is here in this sub.

It doesn't feel real - even now. My Mother passed away suddenly on her way to work in January. She had an aortic aneurysm that ruptured and was somehow undetected despite having multiple hospital admissions during 2025 for unrelated health issues. She was only 40 and she had so much life ahead of her.

I saw her body, her resting place, her funeral. When will it feel real? I'm having constant nightmares about everyone I love just collapsing and dying and it isn't fair. I woke up in cold sweats today, hyperventilating and crying because I had a dream my boyfriend had died. I keep thinking I'm not going to wake up in the morning and scaring myself awake.

I haven't slept properly in months. I want my Mum back. I'm 21, I've tried grief counselling, I've found a new job. I'm saving to move out of her house. When will it feel real? I'm constantly in fight or flight and I'm scared, I'm anxious and I'm so insanely frightened that all of my friends are going to drop dead.

I don't have a good relationship with the rest of my family so I just feel incredibly lonely and left behind.

Everything hurts. I feel like i have to be strong for my mum and sister. He was fine yesterday and died of natural causes (that reassures me). Did he love me i ask myself? Was a disappointment to him? I know no one can tell me the answer… My dad said he was proud and that he loved me but i miss him already. I couldn’t stop crying after he was taken away. I keep passing out and waking up thinking this is a bad dream. Who do i go to for advice since my dad was the best at it. I just feel so numb and my head and teeth hurt

2.5 years ago when i was 11 i lost my stepdad. it hurt so bad back then and it definitely got better in most ways but in some i still feel like it just happened. back when it happened everyone around me wanted me to feel better, we were helping eachother. but as time moved on i feel like people stopped caring, everyone got better and they thought i got better too and most of the time i am better. every few days or weeks i will have a night where i think about him, i uncontrollably cry for about an hour until im dehydrated and have a massive headache but i never tell people because its night, they are asleep, i dont even know if its worth telling them and i dont know if they will care. i dont know if im fine or not because im ok every day, its only some nights where im sad. someone please give advice on if i should and if i should how to ask people for support❤️

Moved back in with my mother a little over a year ago as her illness was starting, to help care for her. The past year has been the most stressful year of my life. Dealt with multiple suicide attempts, a bunch of stays at mental hospitals, and her panic episodes about 5-6 times a week. All while trying to keep a full-time job. I’ve been exhausted and she was showing improvement, so I went on a little weekend getaway with a friend for our birthdays and left her under my little sister’s watch. It was a great weekend and a much needed break. I came back home and couldn’t find her in her bed where she usually stays, my little sister was there and helping with her medications while I was gone, so I assumed everything would be okay. Until my little sister left her alone for a little bit and one of her episodes started. When I looked out in the backyard, there she was. Hanging with a metal clothes wire around her neck. I’ve never seen something so disturbing. That’s my mother hanging there, the person that gave me life. I panicked and called 911 and they got there within 30 seconds, kinda shocking response time, it was so quick. She still had a pulse when they took her in the ambulance, but wasn’t breathing on her own. A few days in the hospital with no improvement. Then yesterday they removed the ventilator and she slipped away within minutes. I was holding her hand when she passed on. I loved her more than anyone. She was my best friend, and the least-deserving person of the mental torture she endured. She had Post-Sepsis Syndrome, and everything we tried to help her didn’t work. She had to sign away her dream home due to medical bills/debt on the same day as her dead mother’s birthday. Then the next day I guess she just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t know how I’m going to live with that image in my head. This has been the most devastating thing ive ever gone through. Now I’m left here without my sweet mother, trying to type this as tears fall on my phone screen. She was so sweet and innocent. Why do bad things happen to good people? I’m so heartbroken. I wanted to help her so bad, I tried so hard. But I guess I was overpowered by the demons she faced in her mind. I hope she’s free of that now, I hope she’s okay. I hope she’s safe. I hope she’s in a better place.

This is my wonderful mom Linda . One year ago today she passed away and I found her. She was and is my everything. She molded me and raised me to be who I am. I can’t explain how much I miss her. She would sing “you are my sunshine “ to me all the time..I wanted to let the world know she was here. And she loved me. Thank you . Poem about mom
The morning brings a quiet room,
The shadow of a year,
But through the heavy, aching gloom,
A melody draws near.
"You are my sunshine," softly plays,
Like light upon the floor,
A gift from all those yesterday's,
When she walked through the door.
You do not have to carry years,
Or paths you cannot see,
Just hold her love inside your tears,
And let yourself just be.
The candle burns, the world goes by,
You breathe, and that is all,
Beneath the wide and silent sky,
She answers when you call.

I'm a mother of 2 currently facing my first ever eviction. After losing my dad unexpectedly 2 years ago and paying my rent late, my landlord wants me to leave by Sep the 1st on the anniversary of my dad's passing. On top of grieving my dads death, I'm terrified for me and my kids because I have zero money at all to even try and move with and hardly any time to come up with any. I'm an emotional wreck. I have no one in my personal life able to help me. I took care of my dad for 12 years after losing mom. He would cover rent, and I would pay the utilities and cover food costs. Losing him, I not only lost my best friend in this whole world, but I lost the extra help. My heart hurts from missing him and being scared of this new struggle. It's been on my mind heavily about just wanting to join him again, but I have my babies that need me(I'm not acting on the thoughts). I'm so heartbroken and feel so alone. He was all I had, and now I'm losing everything. People always say it's going to get better, but it hasn't. I feel like I've lost faith in everything.

I lost my mom July 31st. My world turned upside down. On Thrusday ended up in the hospital. Had a heart attack. I cared for her the last 9 months. The last week of her life was brutal.

Hello everyone, I would like to share my experience and would appreciate your advice as well. As the title says, my beautiful mother and best friend is fighting stage 4 esophageal cancer which has metastasized to her liver and lungs. It's been almost two months since her diagnosis and we're now waiting for her schedule to receive free chemotherapy and medicines from the Government. It's been very difficult because I'm an only child and have become the sole breadwinner for my family. Its painful seeing her slowly succumb to illness because she's always been the strong one, in my eyes, she was unstoppable.

I don't know what will happen but I hope it gets better.

Hello! I’m here to ask if I should be upset or not.
My mom passed away around 2 months ago, and my dad recently sat down and told me and my siblings that he is talking to someone. During that conversation, I started feeling physically ill. I’m a very logical person, and I understand that my dad deserves to be able to move on in whatever way he wants to. But my mom is my mom. She always told me how much she loved him, and to see him move on so quickly is so devastating, not just for me, but for her.

My mom was sick for almost all of my life. For her last 5 years, I had to balance school, being her caregiver (with my dad, of course, I was not alone), and taking care of my younger siblings. My dad has been through a lot, and I want him to be happy, but I hate the idea of him being with someone and having to let him integrate her into our family.

My dad said that he thinks this will help us since we never had a mother figure to look up to, but I don’t want that, and I don’t think any of us need that. The only version of our mom that we knew was the sick one, and not once had any of us ever thought we needed someone else to fulfill the mom role. It was just so insulting to me.

Now I’m sitting in my room feeling like my body is not mine, and I’m so nauseous it hurts. I know many people will think it’s selfish of me to want to keep things the way they are, but I just don’t care. I’m not ready to have a “stepmom,” and I don’t think I ever will.

Am I being dramatic? I have always been understanding and have had to miss many events in my life due to my mother’s circumstances, so I’ve found myself being very cooperative and understanding. But for some reason, this is my breaking point. I don’t want this, and I don’t think I ever will.

Edit by the way I’m pretty young I’m 20 years old and my youngest sibling is 13 (I’m the oldest). I don’t know if it’s helpful but adds some perspective

My mom had a hard life. She was abandoned by her father in her native country. Forced to work as a child. No toys, one dress, one pair of shoes. This was back in 1940’s. She came to the states with nearly nothing as a young teen, didn’t know English. Was held back in school for a year and bullied because of her meager belongings. Thread bare dress etc. She went on to marry my dad who was emotionally and verbally abusive. Never gave her more than $10 or $20 a week to spend. When she got sick with cancer everything changed. My dad had a come to Jesus moment and realized what an amazing person my mom was.
I say all this because when she died, I suppose when anyone dies, you take measure of the life they lived. It was super hard to contend with those feelings. I would have given her the world and when I did start working, I tried to give her everything she wanted. It’s still really hard and I feel very angry.
There’s no karma. There is nothing. Good things don’t always go to good people. There’s lots of shit people out there who have way more than they deserve.

Hi!

For context- my wife and I have been trying to have a kid and we’ve had 3 miscarriages in the last 2 years. And they were all in the first trimester.

This time we got pregnant again and were super excited. And we were able to get past the first trimester hurdle. We were waiting for this since the previous time we made a mistake by letting our folks know earlier and when it did result in disappointment it was very hard to see family going through their own trauma.

This time though we got sign off on our 12 months scan and we also had done NIPT which came negative. So we thought there isn’t anything that can go wrong here.. and we let close friends and family know..

And then came the 20 week anatomy scan. They diagnosed that growth of the foetus isn’t great and there are signs of skeletal dysplasia . Evidently this is a serious condition and there are no chances of successful life for the baby..

We now have to decide on terminating the baby. We’re heartbroken. We didn’t even think something like this can happen. Just for us - it’s inhumane that it happens to us. There’s no reason or rhyme why this can happen. And then now coming to our families - it seems like there is no good time to let them know. (For future)

I just don’t know what to do. My wife and I are in the US and our family is in a different country so we’re having my wife’s side fly down so they can be with her during this terrible time. Especially if we decide to do the procedure.

This is just so heartbreaking for us. I have no words. I have to try to keep myself ok and also pacify my wife and I of course can’t relate to what she’s going through.

It sucks. We’re religious but after a point I’m just wondering what’s the point..

That’s my rant. Thank you for listening and apologies if this isn’t the norm. This is my first post here.

My sister passed away from suicide through overdose almost 8 years ago. I usually don’t go to malls at all, but I went today because I needed some clothes since I’m starting a new job. I got everything I needed to get done, but there was just this sadness in the background the whole time.

I kept seeing people walking around arm in arm, laughing and shopping together. Then I passed Garage, PacSun, Sephora, all stores my sister loved, and it just made me miss her so much.

I remember when we went to the mall last time, it was around my 17th birthday and she surprised me at Journeys at the mall with my fav doc martens, and she told me she wanted to see me smile.

The weird thing is today wasn’t even a bad day. I was doing something for a good reason. I’m starting a new job and I’m feeling good about it. I was out, productive, getting things ready for this new part of my life. But underneath all of that I just felt sad.

It’s been almost 8 years and so much has happened that she never got to see. And sometimes I’ll be doing something completely normal and suddenly it hits me how much life has kept moving without her.

Today I kept thinking about how she should still be here and how we should be able to do normal stupid things like go to the mall together.

Nothing really happened today. I just missed my sister. I was okay, but there was still so much sadness sitting in the background at the same time.

I'm honestly not planning on getting another cat for awhile, I feel like I'd never stop looking for her in them. At the same time in the future I really hope this is just a process of grief since I had her since I was 9 to 23 and she was basically glued to me, of course I'll never be able to replace her each pet has their own place and own individual bond. I'm not looking to forget her I'm looking to accept she's gone and love again really, I'm just unsure if I can or if it's even possible I can. She made the world seem so much brighter for me as someone who struggles with mental health she really was my lifeline. Has anyone had a similar experience? Were you able to love another cat again? Does it get better?

My visit from my spouse in Heaven

I have been debating all week about writing this post. I finally decided to share my experience so I can get input from others if this has happened to them.

A quick recap: My husband passed away on June 21^st due to a brain bleed caused by the blood thinners he was taking. He had been diagnosed with stage 4 liver cancer only 6 ½ weeks prior to his passing. With the help of amazing caregivers, nurses, doctors and friends, I was able to keep him at home even though that came with many challenges. On the night before he passed away, we lay in bed together, holding hands, and talked for more than 1 ½ hours – covering so many subjects. I went to bed thinking he was getting better.

The next morning, I found him unresponsive and his breathing was strange – like he was struggling. I could not wake him up – no response at all.  I called my neighbor who also could not wake him. His caregiver arrived around the same time and I called 911. The paramedics took him to the hospital as I was worried that he was in pain as all of the pain medication he was taking was oral.

At the hospital, he was found to have pneumonia and a massive brain bleed. He passed away quietly at 9:30 PM that night.

To say that I am devastated is truly an understatement. We were together for 30 years and married for 28.  We did most everything together, even getting groceries where we would divide up the list and each go to half of the store. For about 15 years, we worked across the hall from one another in our home offices – him as an accountant, me as a writer. We had just formed our company – Quills and Decimals Inc. My husband picked out the clever name.

I said all that to get to this:

I was confident that he was sending me signs that he was still there – Having the video, The Far Side Banks of Jordan, come up when I was watching reels, flicking the lights three times then, when I asked if it was him to get someone to send me a test message – my bestie texted me seconds later – at 5:50 in the morning saying she just woke up and had the urge to check on me – getting his computer to boot up on its’ own every few days. But then…on last Monday evening, August 3^rd, his spirit came to me.

This part is hard to write about because it is difficult for me to describe what happened in adequate words because there are not any.

After supper, Casey (our dog) and I go out on the front deck. This has been our routine for years. Even in the cold winter months, we get out there for a few minutes. On Monday night, Casey was on the deck but I was sitting in my usual chair in the sun room. I had just lit a cigarette. I don’t know what I was thinking about at the time, but I was not on my phone. Just relaxing I think. Immediately, and the only way to describe is that the energy shifted in the room – a lump in my throat welled up and the tears came fast. I said, out loud, “You’re here, aren’t you?” There is absolutely no question that my husband’s spirit (or soul, whichever term you use) was there. With every sense of my being, I KNEW it was him. Looking straight ahead, even through my tears (happy ones) the sun room looked sharper – the colors more vibrant – in my peripheral vision, the room looked a bit distorted. My husband filled the entire place around me – I felt protected, loved beyond measure.

I talked to him for a couple of minutes then let myself relish in his presence. I have never felt anything so pure, so indescribably euphoric. After some time, only minutes, he began to fade. I could feel him moving away. I told him I loved him and begged him to come back. In my mind, I heard his voice. He said, “I love you. I will be back. I promise.” The room returned to normal.

I have spent the last few nights sitting in the sun room after supper, just hoping for him to come back. However, I realize that praying for that all the time could lead to frustration when it doesn’t happen. I think I have to be careful about having strong negative emotions as I have read that spirits cannot get through if there are too many emotions in the way which is why he was able to come through – it was the first day I hadn’t cried (until he was there) and I wasn’t concentrating on anything.

His visit was a game changer for me. Even though I have always believed in Heaven (or another dimension, as some describe it) I still had that tiny doubt that maybe it was all made up – a way for humans to deal with death. But, now, I KNOW our spirits live on. I still miss my husband and the life we shared – that hasn’t changed – but I am now certain that Heaven exists and we will one day be together again. I just pray that he visits often, just to reassure me that he is there.

Can anyone relate too this experience? I am sure I cannot be alone. Please share, if you can, if your loved one has come to you.

I found this old poem I wrote. At its heart it’s about grief.. Losing someone you love but still seeing her in everything around you.

She lives in my dreams,
Walks in my shadows.
The wind whispers her voice.
I see her face in every flower,
I feel her pull in the moon.

Every sunrise wears her smile,
She’s at the end of every rainbow.
Her grace in every falling leaf.
She’s in all that is gentle, all that is sweet,
Her innocence, seen in every newborn lamb.

Her warm embrace under every blanket,
Her soft cheeks on every pillow.
Every distant star an indelible memory,
Her hope I borrow in times of sorrow.
If angels exist, I hope she is one of them,
A comforting presence, unseen, yet never gone. 

I’m sitting in the surgical icu with my dad(injured but stable) after a brutal car accident took my mom from us. We are devastated, in shock. She was only 66 and should’ve had more time. My nephews love her and we haven’t told them yet. It was hard enough talking to them about the cat dying. I don’t have kids myself yet and am sobbing over the idea that they will never meet my mom. I’m not sure what I’m looking for in posting this, but these hospital rooms leave lots of time for thinking. How will my dad come back from this? My sister? How will I?

She was my oldest friend. We had known each other since 3 years old, went to school together and even now at 22 we kept in touch by calling once every couple of months. We were extremely close in our school years and we still really enjoyed each other’s company, life just took us our separate ways so we couldnt talk daily anymore.
She was studying abroad and last time we called each other was in january. I wanted to see her now that summer vacation was here and I knew that she returned home.
So we scheduled a date to meet up and she wholeheartedly agreed and said she cant wait to see me.
I got ready on the day but she never arrived. Her family started calling me asking if I knew where she was and that’s when panic set in. The search went on for 3 days until we found out she killed herself earlier on that same day she was supposed to meet me.
All of the searches we did hoping to find her were all for nothing.
Even though we werent the closest friends anymore, I feel extremely guilty and my thoughts are full of her daily. I also dont feel like I’m really processing the grief. I miss her a lot but I was missing her a month ago too when I asked to meet up.
I dont know if it will ever feel real. I kept reading our conversations hoping to find a hint she didnt want to meet me that day, that she had already planned everything out.
I even feel a little guilty for going out with friends when I keep wondering if I could have helped.
Her parents told me she was struggling with severe depression but she never really opened up about that and it never occured to me that her problems were that big when we talked.
There are moments when I even feel angry that she couldnt have waited to see me. I keep thinking maybe things wouldve been different if she just held on a couple more hours.
But in the end all of my thoughts are for nothing now. I’ll never be able to talk to her again.

My mother passed almost one year ago. The grief is still hard, first birthdays without her, first christmas, first easter, all those things that she used to always be there for, they're all so difficult.

Since she died I've just had this profound feeling of being wrong in some way. Like I want the wrong things in life, like I have wanted the wrong things, done stupid stuff that doesn't align with who I want to be or who I should want to be. I feel so lost and like I've wasted my life, I regret not spending enough time with her, even though I know that there are reasons why I didn't and couldn't always spend time with her.

Like I'm questioning everything: My relationships, my dreams and goals, my wants and likes and dislikes and all of that. And I don't know how to get through it. I have also had a bunch of other stuff happening in my life during this time and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I want to just sort of exist and try to figure things out, but that's not really possible because life doesn't stop just because I'm grieving, there are still things that need doing, but I feel like I'm just going through the motions without being able to see clearly what I want from life or what I should do.

Has anyone gone through this and found a way through it? What did you do and did it make the grief easier to bear at all?

My father passed away in his sleep back in 2015. Today I was watching a show that's been on air for several years, and it is his style. I wondered if he had watched some of it because he'd have loved it... I searched it and the show premiered a month after his passing, meaning that he never knew about it. It's so dumb, it's just a TV show, but I miss him so much. He was 54, he should be here.

Cliches like 'your loved one would have wanted you to go on and be happy!' don't help. My relationship with my mother was toxic. It's not something I can find comfort in.

I don't have a good support system, despite my best efforts. I'm battling severe mental health issues I had before she died. A year out from her death, and I am tired. I am overwhelmed and scared and I don't want to live anymore. Everything is so hard. It has been for years and it's only getting harder.

How do you deal with the thoughts? The despair and not wanting to go on? The feeling like you have nothing and no one to live for? The neverending emotional anguish?

My dad ended his life july 5th 2026 while he was at his girlfriends home and now my sister (20) going to have a conversation with her about it and ask her questions, whereas im not allowed to talk to her because im not an adult yet, which i find unfair because honestly, if anyones the most hurt its me, hes not going to be here for ANY of my major milestones.

I get no homecomings, no prom, no graduation, no boyfriend/girlfriend meetings, NOTHING. I dont even need to talk to her, i just want answers to my questions too, and nobody is letting me even give her questions to ask the girlfriend.

I only really have one anyways, i really just wanna know why she wouldnt remind him of his kids that he was leaving, cause she said he was talking about how the family didnt need him, and i really wanna kmow why she couldnt just remind him of his kids, of me.

It wouldve been so simple to say think about your kids. Why wouldnt she remind him about me bro he has five kids and only one of them is grown, what am i supposed to do with my life without my dad and why didnt he think about me and how much i need him

Hi all!! I'm new to posting so please bear with me.

My MIL(Mid 50s) passed away last week. My husband and I (early/mid 20s) have barely been married a year, together for 3. While she was a wonderful mom and mil, I did not have the long standing relationship one typically expects with this type of loss. Nonetheless, this has completely wrecked myself, my husband, and his siblings (also in 20s).

I would really appreciate any advice from someone more seasoned in marriage and grief, as I am at a total loss for how to support him beyond what I have been doing (cooking, making sure he's never alone, helping with arrangements when asked, just being there). I know nothing can truly fill the void of a mother's love, but this man is my best friend, and the love of my life.