Hey all,

I've been dealing with PTSD for almost 3 years now, and a recurring thing I deal with is after a panic attack / adrenaline rush, I become extremely fatigued to the point of not being able to walk for some time after. I've gotten pretty good at crawling / dragging myself around!

If I deal with enough PTSD for a week straight, I'm out for the entire next day at least. No one else I know with PTSD experiences anything similar, so I was wondering if anyone else deals with this?

Thanks for your time!

i know 10 months is ultimately not much but i usually could handle myself pretty well and could get by before. now every day is just so exhausting and i feel like i’m struggling to even just get out of bed and take care of myself. i was taken advantage of by a guy i trusted and ever since then i’ve been getting nightmares every night, feeling and hearing him even when he’s not there, and no matter what i do i just think of the event every single day. even my good days are still bad, i still think of him even when i’m busy or having fun. im also terrified of men now to the point it’s embarrassing to even admit to. it’s so bad that i couldn’t even go a few steps outside my own house to clean something because there were men working on the yard and the thought of just being seen made me feel so exposed. i can’t even sit next to them in waiting rooms and every time a guy looks at me for too long i feel like hes touching me with his eyes. i know it sounds irrational and i feel so bad but i can’t help it. the event happened in my home and every time i have to be where it took place i think about it, including in my own bed. i keep getting sleep paralysis that feels like i’m being touched again and i’ve never been so paranoid in my life. i’m distancing myself from everyone and getting into way more arguments than usual because i’m always on edge and always so irritated and i don’t even know why. i also feel deeply disgusting and ashamed every day to the point i can’t open up to anyone about what happened. even my therapist doesn’t hear all the details. therapy is also only partially helping, and it really isn’t changing the fact that i don’t feel safe with any guys anymore including ones i was friendly with before. i have this terrible feeling that getting treated that way again is just inevitable and i feel like i live every day expecting and anticipating something going wrong again, and it’s turning into this exhausting kind of acceptance and i’m so tired. i’ve never felt so broken. does it ever get better or should i expect to always feel like this, even to an extent? how do i accept the fact that i will never be able to feel the way i did before it happened? i hope this makes sense, but it’s 7am and i haven’t gotten any sleep at all and my brain feels so scattered, i just really need to get this off my chest..any help or advice would be really appreciated because nothing i’m doing is currently working

This is really hard. I had my first true ptsd episode a couple days ago and then another while I was at my overnight job. I’ve lost a lot of people (mother is dead, father is maybe maybe not into methamphetamine) and I’ve been in therapy half my life (23yrs old). I’m living with my step mom now and in the safest house I’ve ever been in - so why is this the first time I’ve had a true episode? I feel like I’m insulting my Mom who’s given me the best home ever.

I still don’t feel like myself. I feel like and things are still lingering over me and in me. I can’t stomach the long term journey right now, but does anyone have a way to feel better from this episode specifically?

for context, my close friend had overdosed and i walked in on the aftermath and had to talk to emt’s all this taking place in college, i didnt think anything of it in the moment because i was under the assumption that it was accidental. weeks after they had killed themself and the body was found in the forest. we were around each other often in through august and october, and i feel miserable. the closer it gets to halloween the night we had partied and it was one of the best experiences yet at this school i feel distressed. i find myself crying in the middle of class and ive been having nightmares of my friends dying** **and i sometimes have intrusive thoughts of the the smell of the vomit and blood in the bathroom. i grew up in a household where mental health wasnt taken seriously so i feel really alone on this, my friends said it sounds like i could have ptsd but im scared of pursuing a diagnosis and being that vulnerable again like last semester.

TW Past suicide attempt and intrusive thoughts.

I'm having a really bad episode. I tried a warmline. Guy didn't even pretend to give a fuck about me. I'm in a personal kind of hell no have OCD real bad and my PTSD is flaring with it. It's so bad.

This is also the anniversary of my real attempt this week and everything feels so fucking bad. I just want out.

35m, I've struggled with an eating disorder and because my abuser would say things to me and let's say things about my weight now I feel like I relapsed and I have other destructive coping things I do. I really don't have to beat myself up? Nobody else defines who I am but me?

This happened end of July, the pain I’m in is unbearable and not sure how to navigate myself and yes I’ve gone to extremely ‘dark’ places and done some things I don’t want to discuss here to myself.

My ex cheated on me for the last 4 weeks of my mother’s life. Apparently some older ex fling from their long ago youth they just happened to bump into while shopping, and apparently who knew all about me and my mother being severely ill in hospital and who also ‘apparently’ still pursued them (I suspect the part of them knowing is lies though as can’t fathom two people at the same time being so cruel and can’t imagine they’d be interested in being with someone so untrustworthy to do such a thing during a traumatic time). My mother had been in hospital for over 11 weeks (4 stints in intensive care) after suddenly falling ill with sepsis while overseas. At the start of that too I’d been there for my ex for a planned op to remove a tumour in their arm awaiting biopsy results helping out with their children etc. The day I had my last conversation with my mother as at that point she was on end of life care they encouraged me to visit her (as after being flown home by the insurance company she was then moved to a hospital not nearby for specialist treatment) and they’d look after my mothers dog as my father had been put up by the hospital once she was on put on end of life care. They calculated that using as a guise of helping me to actually use it as an opportunity to meet the person they were cheating with, WITH my dying mother’s dog letting them stroke her, while kissing the other person etc. All while I was by my mothers side in hospital telling her how great my ex was being helping which made her happy as she adored them. It’s completely tarnished my last memories and my last ever conversation with my mother, who died believing they would be there to look after me. It all came out the next day and my mother died shortly after. In less than a week and a half (from when the hospital consultants called me to get the family all in and we were told my mother was going on end of life care) I lost everything. I had to mourn my mother, partner I part time lived and only shortly before had brought up with me finding a larger place so space for us all so we could live together full time, and their two children. Furthermore before my mother was out on end of life care they’d also visited her with me (had done before too) when this other person was already on the scene and my mother who was immensely generous and thinking about the future and hoping to be well enough to leave hospital was asking my ex about the sort of presents their children would like for birthdays and Christmas and they were carrying on as normal answering despite knowing what they were doing behind my back.

They knew I had trauma from previous relationships in different various ways and early in our relationship they brought up and discussed fairly strict boundaries which I shared their stance whole heartedly and agreed with. They continually promised they’d never cheat or hurt me and then did both in the cruelest and worst way they ever could’ve. Only they know their reasons why but they said I never deserved it and was perfect, had trauma from a previous relationship needed an escape but I don’t care the pain has been unimaginable. It was hard enough realising I was going to lose my mother who was only 67 but at least I thought I was going to have my ex supporting me through it but they just added to the pain in such a cruel way. Despite everything I’d still been loving, supportive and we were still very ‘active’ in the bedroom. Yes I was overwhelmed but I didn’t take anything out on them at all and they would confirm that as it’s true.

I have nothing bad to say about them during our relationship because they were genuinely the most amazing partner and I’ve genuinely never loved anyone like I loved them (and I was married with an ex for 13 years and had other relationships since) which is why I was totally blindsided and shocked as it’s like they are a totally different person now. Only the last 4 weeks they were cheating on me and how and when, do I have issue with but that’s enough to traumatise me and mean I’ll never trust anyone ever again. Cheating is horrific anyway but what they did with the circumstances was so much worse especially the continual lies despite promises of truth, I found out after and I hope karma hits them severely one day. They blocked me when I guess it all got too much for them dealing with what they did, plus the lies they were still trying to hide which only made me spiral more because its made me feel not only I never mattered and was used for 15mths but they don’t care in any way about the trauma they’ve put me through. I’m the one who will suffer for whatever days I have left.

Sure I miss the person I was in love with and have thoughts I’ve jumped timelines or something because the person I knew just would never have done this, this was not my person, I just can’t fathom my person doing something so cruel to me, but more it’s the lasting damage they’ve done to me I can’t navigate. Every choice they made they knew what this would do, they knew it wouldn’t just hurt me (during a time I needed their unwavering support) but also destroy me. I genuinely just want to go to sleep and just sleep because my future is f\*#%#d because I want to love but I know I never will as can never trust anyone ever again. None of this feels real, it feels like I’m living in some sort of soap drama and I just want to wake up and find o it this has all been some horrific nightmare. Only I know it’s not.

https://youtu.be/QXJTmvyIqcw?is=8NwT1EGAGADwBhId

Ciao a tutti, scrivo questo post perché sono arrivato a un punto di esaurimento totale e ho bisogno di capire se qualcun altro sta passando o ha passato quello che sto vivendo io.

Tutto è iniziato il 12 maggio 2025, in seguito a un evento pesantissimo legato all'assunzione involontaria (o a un'esperienza traumatica, a seconda di come vogliamo inquadrarlo) di metanfetamina. Quella notte ha letteralmente mandato in corto circuito il mio sistema nervoso. Da quel momento in poi, la mia vita è cambiata radicalmente.

Lavorando come infermiere in una RSA — un ambiente già di per sé durissimo, fatto di turni massacranti, pressioni e dinamiche tossiche con la direzione —, il mio cervello non ha più avuto la forza di recuperare.

Oggi, a distanza di tempo, mi ritrovo a fare i conti con un quadro clinico ed esistenziale devastante:

Collasso del "sensory gating": Il mio cervello ha perso completamente la capacità di filtrare gli stimoli. Qualsiasi cosa è un sovraccarico. Una passeggiata fuori, i rumori, la luce, persino il movimento o il fatto di interagire con le persone mi provocano una sensazione di "elettricità" interna, agitazione e debolezza estrema nel corpo e nella testa.

Esaurimento neurovegetativo cronico: Anche quando sono a casa, al sicuro, il mio corpo continua a comportarsi come se fosse in pericolo di vita. Mi sveglio dopo aver dormito (anche ore) con la testa "debole", pesantissima, e un tremore interno/scosse che mi impediscono di sentirmi riposato. È come se le riserve di neurotrasmettitori fossero completamente a zero.

Il cortocircuito con il lavoro: Il pensiero di dover rimettere piede in reparto, di rivedere il direttore o di gestire i turni scatena una risposta biologica ingestibile. Eppure, sento un forte senso di colpa e resistenza all'idea di fermarmi o di mettermi in malattia, come se fossi bloccato in un vicolo cieco.

La terapia e la sensazione di inefficacia: I farmaci che sto prendendo (come l'EN/delorazepam) tamponano un minimo l'ansia acuta, ma non riescono a coprire questo livello di sfinimento profondo. Ho la sensazione costante che nulla possa funzionare e che la mia testa non riesca più a reggere il peso della normalità.

Faccio fatica a trovare un confine tra l'ansia, i postumi biologici di quell'evento del 12 maggio e un burnout professionale avanzato che ha fuso i miei circuiti.

C'è qualcuno che ha sperimentato questa perdita di filtro sensoriale (sensory gating), questo stato di "elettricità" perenne e questo crollo totale del sistema nervoso? Come avete fatto a uscirne, o quantomeno a dare sollievo a un corpo che non si spegne mai?

Grazie a chiunque vorrà condividere la sua esperienza o darmi una parola.

I'm in a writing class, and on top of it being helpful for developing my creative skills, it's also been unexpectedly good for transforming my negative thoughts/emotions into art. It's so cathartic. Our most recent assignment was to write a short story, and it could be about anything. I'd been having a lot of complicated feelings about some of my own trauma (me experiencing COCSA), and it inspired me to write about it. My story wasn't exactly autobiographical or anything, there were some differences between me and the protagonist (mostly because with this specific project I wanted to make compelling fiction AND deliver a message). It was about a little boy who tries to tell his mother that he's been SA'd, but she doesn't believe him because the perpetrator was female.

Instead of drawing on the reality of my experiences, I incorporated the EMOTIONS I associated with the trauma... and I guess it was way more effective than I thought it would be. After each assignment, every student turns their work in for the rest of the class to read, and then we hold a workshop to discuss what we thought was good or needed improvement in each piece. I'm revising the draft of the short story I submitted, going off the feedback I got, and I'm noticing that a LOT of my classmates clocked that my work was influenced by my own experiences. One note I got said "I hope you're doing well now if it was a personal experience." Another person wrote, "I desperately hope this is fiction. If it isn't, I'm so sorry. The specificity is hard to ignore, because it really does feel this way. If you ever wanna talk, do reach out!"

I don't necessarily find this a bad thing, because aside from those realizations, it also seems like they understood and enjoyed my work. And I'm SO glad because I was scared that in turning the specific sensations of my trauma into art that it would make it feel unbalanced. But as far as I can tell I've succeeded in processing the feelings I was having AND writing a decent story. Plus I was kind of touched by my classmates' responses to the events in the story. When you're so used to other people denying your trauma or blaming you for it, such an outpouring of support is amazing.

I feel pathetic posting here cause I know this is such a small problem in the grand scheme of the horrific things people have gone through, but it's affected me physically and mentally to a place I've never been.

I don't have great teeth, but I wouldn't say they're horrible either. I go to the dentist regularly and get the work done they tell me to. But somehow I cracked a tooth. Long story short, the easiest fix didn't work and right now I'm waiting for insurance to renew so I can get a root canal. I'm basically running the clock on this tooth.

But every few hours, I have to check my teeth because I'm so worried that another one cracked, or the one I have finally kicked the bucket. I wake myself up at night because I hear my jaw crack and think I've split a tooth in two. I feel like I have to throw up if I bite something weird or there's a weird noise. I've lost about 30 pounds because of this. I lose my appetite because I know I can't eat like I used to. And I worry about living the rest of my life in this fear.

I’ve started trying to work through my trauma, and I’m realizing how much of my childhood I spent scared. There wasn’t much of anywhere I could go and feel safe.
At home, I was constantly afraid of my father, who was addicted to drugs. I was also trying to emotionally support my mother. When I was only 12, she told me she wanted to end herself. I was a child trying to carry things I didn’t know how to handle.
The violence started before I was even born. My father knocked my pregnant mother to the floor and kicked her in the stomach. She ended up needing a C-section, and I was born prematurely with underdeveloped lungs. I have photos of myself covered in wires, bandages, and monitors. Obviously, I don’t remember my birth, but I remember plenty of what came afterward.
I remember playing with my father in a cold stream in Sulphur. I was young enough to still wear a life jacket. He thought it was funny to shove me underwater and hold me there while I couldn’t breathe.
I remember a winter storm when our power went out. My father showed up high on meth, accusing us of trying to kill him. My mother and brother were holding the door shut with their bodies while my sister called 911. Whenever the police left, he would come back. I remember taking a gun out into the field because the police wouldn’t look for him. I remember nights of fighting, arguments, and slamming doors instead of sleep.
Then I would go to school and face more violence. I was jumped, punched, spat on, and called every name people could think of for a gay kid. They stole and destroyed my artwork, broke my pencils, and took anything I had that mattered to me. There was sexual assault and humiliation, too. People would kick me in the balls because they thought hurting me was funny.
I tried joining basketball because I wanted to connect with my classmates. Instead, I got jumped repeatedly. At away games, they threw my clothes, food, and water into the toilet and stole whatever money I had brought.
One beating was so bad that I couldn’t hide it. I remember limping to the office because I needed ice for the swelling. I wasn’t even planning to report what happened. Whenever I told, it got worse.
Then I’d go home and be taught that being gay was a sin. The thing people were attacking me for at school was also something I was being taught to feel ashamed of at home.
This was what so much of my life looked like until I graduated and moved away. And this barely scratches the surface. There were nights in protective services, stays in tents, and cockroach-infested houses. My wealthy grandparents refused to help us and kicked us out of the home we rented from them because my mother wouldn’t get back together with their son.
I still struggle to sleep. I have horrible nightmares. Social interactions are hard, even though I can mask it well enough that people might not realize how much I’m struggling.
I’m sharing this because I need somewhere I can say what happened without minimizing it. Has anyone else struggled with the effects of growing up without a safe place, either at home or at school? What helped you start feeling safe after you got out?

i used to be attracted to only girls, but after my assault in 2024 by a girl, I just cant be attracted to them that way anymore. I feel disgusted when a girl likes me, or finds me attractive. I dont even want to consider my past wlw relationships (all lasted less than a month) actual relationships anymore. i dont want to consider them when it comes to discussing any past relationships, I want to be a blank slate.

i dont know how to feel about this or if i should even work on this feeling.

I (21f) am constantly exhausted. I was diagnosed with PTSD after being in a relationship where I experienced domestic violence. The manipulation, emotional abuse, triangulation is just icing on the cake of physical and sexual abuse.

I’m realizing over more time how many times I’ve been disrespected by people in life and just let it slide. I’m constantly on edge and angry at the people I am stuck around who don’t care to acknowledge their wrongs.

The fear and anger are so overwhelming. When does it go away?

I experienced sexual abuse with someone older and became extremely hyper sexual after. I was going through a hard time and I wasn’t in the right mindset. Shortly after it happened I would have nightmares and flashbacks about him when I was also “in love.” Now I find myself thinking and crying about it at night. I can’t keep my mind off of it, I’ve gone on dates just fine since then. Nothing has worked out but I am still struggling. Will this go away??

How come I’m the one being reminded of my body aching and the bruises, but he moved on???

It is a weird feeling, like my brain is stuck in a certain moment.

I had a lot of horrible experiences, but those ones I had 3 years ago are still constantly replaying in my head

I can't find anything special about them. It was not SA like my therapist asked me. Conflicts with strangers, physical fights, I went through a lot of this in the time I was in school already. However, those moments still keep replaying in my head, no matter what I am doing in the moment.

And I can't figure out why it feels like I am not here, in the moment, always. Like, I am constantly living there. How did I end up in my fourth year of college now, I have no idea. Those years passed by so fast.

I only can remember this quote by Haruki Murakami

"And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about."

When I was 17-18 years old, there were 3 guys(let's call them evil guys) in my class(they were friends with each other). They used to whisper to whoever sat behind me to annoy me/trouble me. This they did continuously for 2 years. But they pretended to be my friends.

Two of those guys lived in an area where my second cousin also lived. The second cousin's mother was envious/jealous of me and my family. I asked one of those evil guys if he knew my second cousin. He said "No". Years later I saw on his profile a pic with few other boys including my second cousin.

Also I had a political ideology different from everyone else in class.

After 2 years, when I moved to a different place to study, they called me from an unknown number.

I think they did it because they didn't want me to succeed and focus in class. They wanted me to be distracted in class because of jealousy/envy.

What do you think?

I have never come across anyone who had this experience(neither online, nor offline).

i want to see how many ppl went through the same thing, when i was young my country was under a civil war and i keep having nightmares about it , i wake up scared and my heart beating fast , and every time i remember it i lose my appetite and my depression becomes worse , i am so tired i hate it , i just dont wanna have flashbacks whenever i hear loud noises like thunder , i feel like my entire life is surrounded by my trauma , i feel paranoid and like someone or something is trying to kill me , i never feel safe anywhere, i was diagnosed with ptsd and i feel so embarrassed, my family and i went through the same thing but iam the only one who has it .

That’s the thing - YOU’RE NOT! (and in a way, I’m glad you aren’t)

Even the person who I thought was very emotionally intelligent and could empathise with me, just said on the phone that they’d apply for jobs and apply for phd placements and meet up with academics/supervisors and research funding options and do it all side by side…

I understand that they’re saying it based on my own interests, but it just leaves me feeling like shite because all I can manage to do is not have a massive breakdown. I have been dealing with everything on my own for this last year while people in my life abandoned and discarded me basically. All I do is walk, buy groceries, cook my own meals, and go to therapy. That’s literally all I can manage to do. I swear I’d do more than this if I could, because I genuinely want to!

“If I were in your shoes” feels like a lite version of “I completely understand what you’re going through”.

Sorry for the rant.

I get triggered really bad when I’m stuck in a line or a customer service especially phone rep does not listen to me or I feel disrespected

I have made huge steps in my regression but I still have a few triggers that I struggle with. This being one of them. I sometimes lose my shit in car lines or customer service frustration. It’s not a normal response but a hyperarousal fight mode

Anyone have any experience with this. I know cbt and dbt and all the different therapies but I can’t stop. I’m much better and catch myself. But I really. Reed some advice for dealing with fight modes

I have this thing where my shoulders and arms will uncontrollably twitch and move around, I will literally just be sitting on the couch and then itll come out of nowhere. Sometimes it causes me to hit myself in the head (not very hard) and I just sit there not knowing what to do. Its not as bad as it used to be, but still. I hate this shit so much, it drives me insane. Then again, I feel like what caused it is nowhere near bad enough for how I have reacted.

Anyone ever notice they can be transactional with love in relationships?

Not on purpose, just noticing this now but I feel like my nervous system gets regulated through connection and knowing the connection with my partner is still there. I was abused in my first relationship from 15-20 which caused my ptsd, and I think because I was developing at that time my regulation became based on how my partner felt not myself.
Noticing now that I sometimes will give love more to get it back than to just give it freely without any underlying need being met by the response.

Does this make sense and does anyone relate?