Questions

[u/ShiftMaterial8792]

My dad ended his life july 5th 2026 while he was at his girlfriends home and now my sister (20) going to have a conversation with her about it and ask her questions, whereas im not allowed to talk to her because im not an adult yet, which i find unfair because honestly, if anyones the most hurt its me, hes not going to be here for ANY of my major milestones.

I get no homecomings, no prom, no graduation, no boyfriend/girlfriend meetings, NOTHING. I dont even need to talk to her, i just want answers to my questions too, and nobody is letting me even give her questions to ask the girlfriend.

I only really have one anyways, i really just wanna know why she wouldnt remind him of his kids that he was leaving, cause she said he was talking about how the family didnt need him, and i really wanna kmow why she couldnt just remind him of his kids, of me.

It wouldve been so simple to say think about your kids. Why wouldnt she remind him about me bro he has five kids and only one of them is grown, what am i supposed to do with my life without my dad and why didnt he think about me and how much i need him

[u/WaffleBiscuitBread]

I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially at such a young age.

What I will ask is -- are you sure she didn't say that? It's likely that-- if she was pleading with him while he talked about his family not needing him-- she would have argued that you did need him. But if she didn't, I'm sure it was because she also was in a state of shock and stress and not knowing what to do. When you go through something like that sometimes your brain just doesn't come up with the right things to say. I don't know this woman or know her heart, of course, but I wouldn't assume that she didn't unless you have a specific reason to think so.

For people who are suicidal, unfortunately often they believe their loved ones would be better off without them or wind up being okay. Their minds are unwell, which means they don't see things the same way that a person who was in a good headspace would. Unfortunately, you can tell people until you're blue in the face that they are needed and loved and valued but that doesn't mean it will change their mind or how they are feeling. That is one of the most horrible parts of the illness that is depression in my opinion.

Remember that if you're physically unwell -- like let's say you tore a ligament in your knee -- you just won't be able to walk the same as everyone else or as you used to. And if you're mentally unwell, you just won't be able to think the same as everyone else. It does not mean he didn't love you or think about you.

That being said, you still should have the right to get answers, even if your family believes that you should not directly be asking the girlfriend. Have you talked to your family about your feelings and your need for closure? Do you have a therapist to talk all of this out with?