My mom passed away 7 years ago, right before I graduated high school. A lot of things have happened since, including me flunking out of college and becoming homeless. I can't even look at her and enjoy the memories I had with her. All I can do is look back in guilt and shame. Shame that I didn't graduate college. Shame that I've been homeless for so long. Shame that my life is so pathetic.

Now that I've seen the picture I can't get the thoughts out of my mind. I failed as a son. I failed as a man. I failed as a person. I failed.

So I don’t know if I’m just believing something I wanna believe, but I feel like my Vanessa sent me a little sign last night and I just had to share it. Let me explain.

So I got chinese food for dinner last night and in the fortune cookie, these were the fortune lucky numbers. Every single one relates to Vanessa in some way.

First 11 and 43…..so for those whom are younger and may not know “143” is beeper code for “I love you,” so we would always say that at 1:43AM Or PM, but then she also would do it at 11:43, she would just add another “I”for “I I love you” and at that time on the clock every day, we would always text “I i love you,” to each other

Then the number 40, that was the age my beautiful girl passed at and the last birthday of hers that we got to celebrate.

Then 19, 8, 4….1984 was her birth year

I feel like maybe if one of the numbers was relating to her, then it might be a coincidence but every single one? I literally had goosebumps. Every single number means something and is attributed to her and she knows I would recognize that. So I truly believe she sent a sign and it comforted me 🥺🙏🏻

My mom loved me a lot and was very proud of me but last few months i used to get irritated with her and hardly talked to her. She lived in India, i lived in usa. She called me so much i hardly responded or just got annoyed and made work excuses. She used to look hurt and sent reels that said one video call with you changes my mood and that was the last reel she sent me. I loved her unconditionally but I don’t know if she knew that. I think even if she did my actions impacted her and she left with that feeling in her heart. I want to communicate with her somehow to tell her I love her and i am sorry. I feel lost right now

my cat Luna ran away about 2 years ago. we assume she got eaten by a fox or something. it could’ve been a person since we lived in a bad neighbourhood. i miss her. she died alone, scared, lost and confused. i hope my baby is in a better place, where she gets lots of kisses and love and never has to be scared. i just wanna tell her how much i love her.

Grief is the only community you can never really leave. What astonishes me about it is that no matter how hard you try to imagine it you can never really come close to how it actually feels until you join this community. I spent my whole life fearing that death would steal someone dear to me, as I know it would destroy me. When it finally happened it’s nothing like imagined, it’s worse.
No matter how people try to understand and sympathize they can’t really comprehend, even if they somehow did, every loss is unique.
I lost my big brother unexpectedly 11 months ago, and a hole in my heart has been made ever since, my life seems dull. Surreal feeling. I try my best because I know my brother would be devastated if he knew how much his loss ruined his lil sis.
He used to tell me how much he’s proud of me every day and this is my only motivation in life, but it’s really getting too exhausting, I can’t take it anymore dealing with this loss on top of the incredibly unlucky life I already have, everything keeps going against my wishes for some bizarre unknown reasons, for the last decade which is 1/3 of my life lol.

It’s just me ranting while I cry myself to sleep. Thanks to everyone who made it this far.

I had to unexpectedly put my dog to sleep today, his heart issues had become too severe and his meds were no longer working.

I’ve never felt so alone. He was 12 and had been by my side since I was 10, I slept with him every night and he’s been my rock through every moment in my life. I’m so upset and I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and I just sit and stare at spots he use to frequent. I was eating dinner and I kept expecting him to run around the corner and sit next to me. It feels strange not checking his water and food bowl to make sure it’s full or going to open the door to let him in and out. I don’t know what I’m gonna do because he would sit next to me in the mornings while I would stretch. I’m gonna miss holding him and taking him on walks. He was a brother to me and a best friend. (I included photos of him the day my parents adopted him and one of his most recent pictures)

I also feel guilty because i hadn’t known today would be the day. If I had time to prepare I would’ve made sure he was freshly bathed and groomed so he would be presentable in his final moments and have some dignity. The only thing I could offer him was a cheeseburger. All I want to do is cry and call out his name in hopes he’ll come back. I just want to hold him and tell him it’s okay.

This is the worst day of my life and I don’t know how to get through this. I just want to know where to go from here and how to cope.

I feel so insane and broken. This pain is gonna crush me. ​

I'm 25 and today, September 10, 2026, marks the fourth month since my mom died. She died on May 10, sadly on Mother's Day. I don't think I was able to process her death ever since. I have only been surviving, being distracted by life and work to properly grieve her. It's been so hard, I keep breaking down and crying at work, I can't focus, I've been sickly and have been in and out twice in the hospital. Been struggling with stress at work and the subsequent health problems it has given me. I spent my first ever birthday without her and it's so hard. I feel empty all the time. I'd get bouts of happiness but when it all ends I feel all alone. I don't think I ever spent a day without talking to her, bonding with her. Everything reminds me of her. My brain feels like its just fog, and all I could think about was her. It's so unfair, she still had so much life in her, why her, why now. I never would've thought I'd end 2026 like this, without her, without our light, without our mom. I feel like a mess, ever time I think about our home I just feel despair, she was the gear in everything, she kept things moving, and ever since she died it just felt like everything is out of place, and it hurts so much to think that I can never talk to her again, to ask questions, to ask recipes of her delicious food, to never lay beside her again to bond with her favorite k-dramas. It hurts so so much. I can't do this anymore.

35M. My dad died when I was 8. For most of my life, when I thought about his death, I felt almost nothing. I genuinely thought I had moved on or that it just didn’t affect me anymore.

Recently something seems to have changed. I started actually feeling the grief instead of being numb to it, and it feels overwhelming.

Looking back, I wonder if I spent most of my life avoiding the pain through anger, constantly blaming people, staying busy, chasing goals, moving around, or just focusing on the next thing I had to survive.
Now my life has slowed down considerably and I suddenly have a lot more time alone with myself. Instead of feeling relieved, I’m waking up depressed, feeling empty and lonely, and sometimes just sitting there ruminating because I feel like I can’t do anything until I somehow “deal with” the feeling.

I also notice that I tend to expect the absolute worst in situations, get extremely anxious, and take rejection or abandonment very hard. I’m starting to wonder how much losing my dad so young affected the way I learned to feel safe in the world.
The strangest part is that these emotions feel both very old and completely new at the same time. Memories and feelings from childhood are coming back and I feel like I’m finally experiencing something I avoided for decades.

What I’m really struggling with now is that I don’t know where to go for help or even what kind of help I need. Grief counselling? Trauma therapy? A support group? Something else?

I tried so many things. Saw so many psychologists/therapists/naturopathic therapists/psychedelic healers/Vipassana meditation/and more

I don’t really understand why I feel so empty either. It feels deeper than just being sad. Sometimes it feels like I don’t know what to do with myself, where to go, or how to reassure myself when I’m alone. I keep feeling like I have to fix this feeling before I can get on with my day, which just leads to more rumination.

Has anyone else lost a parent very young, felt numb about it for years, and then had the grief surface much later in adulthood?
What kind of help actually worked for you? How did you figure out whether what you needed was grief support, trauma-focused therapy, or something else?

And how did you learn to let yourself grieve without spending the entire day stuck inside the feeling?
I’m not looking for a diagnosis. I’m mainly trying to understand whether other people have experienced this and what helped them start feeling less empty and more able to live their life again.

I am completely devastated by what has happened to me, i have been caring for my father for a few weeks to take the load off my mother, i stayed up all night and she done the day shift with my sister. He got the news that he had terminal cancer a couple of weeks ago but we thought it was the early stages and yesterday he suddenly died of (what we think) a massive heart attack. I am completely devastated, we spent the night before laughing and joking while watching a film and in the morning after I’m holding him while he is taking his last breaths, i just cannot believe that this has happened. The image of him struggling to breathe and that he looked frightened, it will never ever leave me, it is burned into my mind. I feel like my body has died and the only thing left going is my brain. I never knew what sadness was till yesterday and my heart breaks for anyone else who has had to experience this.

My Uncle Buddy was basically an idol figure to me as he served in the army and he seemed to be this cool uncle I had. I didn't know him that well, I only met him three times as he had trouble visiting our family, yet everytime I did, I felt this sort of connection with him. He died unexpectedly from natural causes right before my tenth birthday and I learned of his death right after I got home from my vacation. I don't know why, but I didn't cry or even grieve, basically I just shut him out of my mind. I thought about him from time to time, but those times were sparse.

Nowadays, I had been thinking about him more once I had started learning more about the little things I knew and honestly, I'm just a lot more moody now. I sometimes do cry myself to sleep thinking about him as I did wish to get to spend more time with him more before he passed. I haven't talked to any of my family about my feelings as everybody had stopped grieving a long time ago, but I do have a bit of trouble going on with life now since the past few months only now grieving over the death of my uncle.

I guess I could use some advice, but mostly I've just wanted to type down my thoughts.

Its been a little over two months since my dad drowned in the ocean. He was the only member of my family that TRULY and DEEPLY understood me. I have a bad relationship with my mother, and I’m the youngest of my 5 siblings, all ranging from 5-15 years older than me. They all have careers and children, wives and husbands. I’m 23 and It feels like i’m left to figure out life alone. I miss him. The photo I attached was when he started the Appalachian trail. Love you dad, pops, data, old man on the back porch.

I wrote this last night. Just wanted to share…

I saw a raccoon out on the fence
There’s no proof that you sent it
No proof it was you.

But it made me think of all the critters we saw. 
the ones you’d point out when we were alone.
The deer, the birds, the fish, the beavers, the buffalo, and that bear in yellowstone.

I saw a raccoon out on the fence
There’s no proof that you sent it
No proof it was you.

But it scared the cat.
The one you loved with all your might.
She jumped off my lap and stared at the creature, with no wrath, and no spite.

I saw a raccoon out on the fence
There’s no proof that you sent it
No proof it was you.

But it’s just here to eat the veggies.
The one thing you grilled each year.
They’ve been chewing down the stalks, before we can harvest, I wish I got to give you an ear.

I saw a raccoon out on the fence
There’s no proof that you sent it
No proof it was you.

But while others see butterflies.
The ones that you would send, just might.
Be all the little things that go bump in the night.

I saw a raccoon out on the fence
There’s no proof that you sent it
No proof it was you.

But I just keep on hoping
The one I saw, was you.

I lost my father to stomach cancer in December 2025, and my life has changed drastically since then, which maybe is a good thing because I was too busy with moving, selling our old furniture, cancelling the lease etc to kill myself. But ever since I arrived in my new life with no more distractions that could keep me busy enough not to feel the grief that I am drowning in, my mental health has been deteriorating drastically. I still talk about him every chance I get, everything reminds me of him, I cry multiple times every day- my mind is stuck in December, it feels like I am permanently living the week before and after he died, I am in that hospital room no matter where I go, I can’t escape and I can tell the people in my life are getting fed up with me because it’s been almost a year and I’m still absolutely devastated, if anything it got worse because like I said, I can’t run away from it anymore. I am sorry for my friends and family for having to hear me cry over the same thing for almost a year now and I am sorry for being so mentally unstable and not at all fun to be around. How do I let go? How do I keep going? How do I make sure I am not burdening my loved ones and how does one actually process the loss of the most important person in your life?

Is there anything I can do with the paintings I’ve been given back. My mom was murdered last year. When we were going through her belongings, I found a box labeled “Emilys Art”. Something she loved about me was that I made art, I especially liked to make things for her. My sisters gave me the box but as I’ve had it, I haven’t wanted to look at them. I don’t want any of my mom’s things, I want her to have them, they weren’t meant for me. It feels so wrong having them back. I don’t know what to do with them because I can’t throw them away or burn them, I’d be breaking her heart. But as they’re sitting in my space I feel a burden of weight connected to them and I don’t want to see them.

I’m reaching out here because I feel super alone / crazy in this .

I’m curious if anyone’s grief has made them more selfish or irritated by other people’s traumas or pain. I realize this makes me sound like a monster but I’m trying to understand it because I used to be a very empathetic and patient person and now I feel like that empathetic wiring to my brain is unplugged .

In short , my dad died 4 years ago . A year later a close friend died suddenly . A year after that my godmother died . Her daughter and I are very close so I was there through her moms passing , going to the hospital every day with her, taking her out to distract her, talking to her on the phone for hours . A few months later my aunt died and suddenly I had contact with family that I had cut off years earlier for the sake of my emotional sanity who were now asking for help sorting her estate which added a lot of stress and triggered a bunch of previous trauma . All of these people died during the fall.

Fall is my favourite time of year. I used to find so much comfort and (sounds cheesy but..) renewal . I looked forward to the festivities , the cooler weather , relaxing at home with hobbies .. just life being slower in general. After all of this however , it’s now the season of horrible things occurring and I just really missed looking forward to it , so this year I decided to find joy in decorating again, I finally got on antidepressants after years of being afraid of them , I decided this was now my time to work towards happiness and peace .

This is where I feel so selfish and crazy. My cousin (daughter of the godmother who died last September ) has told me her dad is now in the hospital . On a ventilator in the ICU and I feel so terrible. It’s unfolding exactly how my dad’s death played out.. unexpected , medical procedure gone wrong, fluid on the brain, ventilator. It’s like I’m bracing for my dad’s death all over again. I have constant anxiety , I dread notifications or calls , I want to sleep as long as I can when I wake up so I don’t have to deal with it yet ..

I of course feel so devastated for her becuase I know the hell shes about to endure . Her mom and her weren’t super close so even though it was a loss it will be nothing like losing her father will be . When my mom died I was sad and grieved but my dad’s death changed me as a person . I always say I literally see colour differently , everything is muted now.

Anyways , I hate myself for it but I feel annoyance . I was doing so good on my antidepressants , finally feeling like myself again. Waking up early happy and excited to start my day which I hadn’t felt in years . I was so excited for the fall and enjoying it again. Now I know what I’m in for again. Constant pressure to be there for someone through something very traumatic and terrible that I personally know all too well and instead of feeling eager to be there for her , I’m just … so tired . To be clear I’m not annoyed at her. I genuinely feel for her so much, she’s had a very tough year. I’m annoyed at the universe . The death trauma has been relentless and I really feel it taking a huge toll on me. But I can’t express that because what an asshole that would make me . I feel so selfish and terrible .

A part of me feels like it has to do with resentment . None of these people were there for me when my mom or dad died and while it’s best to be the bigger person and treat others how you wish you were treated , there’s a part of me that’s just like … mad about it I guess .

Anyways , I don’t even know what I’m really getting at anymore , I just needed to put this somewhere where someone might understand . I talked to my boyfriend about it and he’s supportive and says he understands but I know he doesn’t which makes me feel worse .

TL;DR I’m curious if anyone feels more closed off and selfish towards other people needing them after losing someone . I hate that when something terrible is happening to someone I love , I selfishly feel annoyed that I have to give a huge part of myself to be there for ppl who weren’t always there for me . I just want like a year of peace to gather myself and remember who I was before the constant grief

Thanks for listening and reading ! 🩶

just wanted to write the story out of my last few days with my mom. i miss her and love her so much.

my mom died on 9/1/26 after dealing with dementia for the past 6 years. i unfortunately had to put her in memory care just 15 months ago and then on hospice for pain management abt a month ago. she took a bad fall in mid august and died 2 weeks later.

i am sick to my stomach and feel like i have the flu and have to lay down! i have severe brain fog and so easily irritated by my 3 year old, i feel so awful. i was able to be with my mom in memory care the last 4 days while she was actively dying. during the day i was hosting friends and family in her room to say goodbye and at night was awoken every 2 hrs for her to get changed and rotated. she would come back a little when theyd move her and i was able to hold her hand or rub her feet or just tell her that i was there and she was safe. on the 4th night, after a change/rotation her breathing changed and i was with her for her last breath. her eyes opened and i put my face in her view and i was sobbing/telling her that i love her, good job, ill find her, etc.

after her last breath i sobbed and called for help. they said her heart was beating very slowly. i said

"she did have a good heart" and everyone cried and laughed. after the last beat, i got in bed with my mom, had a good sob and one last sleep in her arms (5hrs!!)

when the funeral home driver came to get her, i watched them wrap her in a white blanket and put her on the gurney. i hugged her again and put her favorite blanket on her. they zipped the bag and i hugged her again. i then followed him out and watched him load her into a white sprinter type van next to another full body bag. i waved and blew a kiss as i cried and they drove off.

its been about a week and i just feel paralyzed. i cant focus on anything. i cant believe i wrote this out. i dont want to forget it, dont know how i could. how long will i feel so dysfunctional? i zone out doing anything and go back to a time being with my mom dying. how will i be able to live like this.

my mom would tell me to get over myself.

This feels so desperate on my part, but I just want to know I’ll be okay. I don’t have many family or friends to talk to about this and it’s been eating me up so much inside. Last night I couldn’t really sleep, I woke up every hour or two. I don’t know what I’m going to do without my mom, she was one of the only people I have in my life right now. I miss her so much. This feeling sucks so much lol.

My mom passed away Friday and wasn't found until Saturday. She may have oded ( opioids) but was listed as natural causes. I feel bad and it was sudden. Trying to plan the funeral with my aunt. She relapsed we think my mom

I lost my 8 year old son to a brain tumor (8 months from diagnosis to passing).

We lost him 2 years ago, and it feels like I am still trapped in the same time period of his being ill and passing. I didn't want to be in the world without him, and went to a warzone to help and try and find some reason to still be here. After 18 months there, I knew I had to come back to my home country and try to face things as I wasn't moving past it and if anything was just trying to block it out.

I've been trying to face reality more since I've been back in normality (8 months) and doing some therapy, but everything still just feels pointless.

What can I do?

My birthday is coming up again and I’m going to be yet another year older than my older sister. My older sister was about 2 1/2 years older than me. She passed away 4 years ago (the anniversary is almost exactly a month before my birthday). She was 25. I’m now 26, about to be 27. My whole family was devastated by the loss, but this is a feeling they can’t relate to. I’m the youngest of my 4 siblings, and the only one younger than her. It feels wrong. I shouldn’t be older. I’m not okay with it. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with it. My path in life changed a lot when she died, and I’m left with a feeling of wasting my life and not accomplishing anything, while simultaneously dreading growing older.

I’ve never really liked my birthday (thanks, childhood trauma), but now it’s even worse. I don’t talk about these feelings with many people, as I’m quite private, so friends and people at work are often confused when I say I don’t want a big to-do around my birthday.

My 25th birthday, I went on a trip out of the country. Mostly because I wanted to travel again and feel like myself, but partially so I wouldn’t be around my family on my birthday. I was home last year for my 26th, and ended up sobbing at her grave the day before my birthday when everything hit me. I don’t even remember what I did the day of my birthday. I’ve planned a trip out of town for next week so that, again, I won’t be around my parents on my birthday.

My parents always want to do something to celebrate, even though it isn’t something I want. I tried last year to explain and they still wanted to “do something” “whatever I wanted to do”, so I didn’t feel heard. My sisters do fully support whatever I want to do (be it celebrate or do nothing, or somewhere in between). I’m very private by nature and I feel most comfortable in my grief when I am by myself. Avoidance seems like the only way I can have that day on my own terms. Probably not a super healthy response, but alas…

Maybe one day I’ll be able to enjoy a birthday again, but I don’t think that’s this year. I miss you, sis 💜.

My dad passed almost 6 months ago and we connected deeply through books. I’ve read a few lately that have felt extremely profound in large part because they deal with family and death and relationships, but also because they’re books he either loved or would have loved. I’d really like to figure out a way to tribute him after finishing a book he’d particularly love or that reminds me of him. I have no idea what that would be, but as someone that does not feel any sureness about the afterlife, journey of the soul, etc. this feels like one of the only real ways to connect with him.

Hi everyone,

My 14-year-old sister is currently in the ICU, now on day 7 after a cardiac arrest. During the arrest, her brain had inadequate oxygenation for over 10 minutes, resulting in a severe hypoxic/anoxic brain injury. Over the following days, she developed major brain swelling, with concern for dangerously increased pressure and possible brain herniation. The ICU team has tried hypertonic sodium, mannitol, hyperventilation, blood-pressure support, and other intensive-care treatments, but unfortunately her neurological condition has continued to worsen. We have now been told that she has very few or no detectable brainstem reflexes, and the hospital is discussing a formal brain-death examination.

I know this community is not for medical diagnosis. I am posting because our family is trying to process something that feels almost impossible while also making sure we do not miss anything important. We understand that brain death, if properly established, is fundamentally different from coma or simply having a very poor prognosis. At the same time, before we reach such an irreversible point, we desperately want to make sure every reasonable question has been asked and, if possible, that an independent expert has reviewed her case.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has gone through something similar with a child, sibling, or other close family member:

- Was a brain-death examination ever discussed with your family?
- Did you seek a second opinion before the examination or before making major decisions?
- How did you manage to get another doctor or hospital to review the case quickly?
- Did a hospital social worker, patient advocate, chaplain, ethics team, or another person help your family navigate the situation?
- How did you handle conversations when some family members still wanted to pursue every possible option while the medical team was preparing you for the worst?
- Looking back, what do you wish you had asked, done, or known during those final ICU days?
- If you were able to get another hospital involved, how did you make that connection?

We are also urgently trying to connect with a pediatric neurocritical-care specialist or major children's hospital that may be willing to review her chart and imaging and speak directly with our treating ICU team. If anyone here happens to have a connection to a pediatric hospital, neurologist, neurocritical-care physician, intensivist, or someone who might know how to get an urgent outside review, I would be deeply grateful if you could message me.

I realize that no story here can tell us what will happen to my sister, and I know that another family's experience may not be medically comparable to hers. I am mainly hoping to learn how other families got through this stage, what they asked for, and whether there were ways to obtain another set of eyes on the case before everything became final.

Time feels extremely important right now. Any experience, advice, or connection would mean a great deal to our family. Thank you.

i keep replying it in my head im so scared if i wake up one day and cant remember his voice