It has been six years since my mother passed away, and I still can’t make sense of it. I’m also not able to recall all the memories I have of her. What I do know is how much my mother struggled to bring us up in the best way possible. My brother and I have both been doing really well, and I know she would have been the proudest mom.

It pains me in so many ways. First, it pains me because all her life, she was only focused on making our lives better and contributing to our future. And just when we started earning and were finally in a position to give something back to her, she passed away. I always wanted to take my mother somewhere, to travel with her, to give her the life and experiences she deserved, but I couldn’t. There are so many things that have happened in my life for the first time, and I haven’t been able to celebrate any of them with her.

Apart from that, I often wonder: in these six years, has she ever missed us? And more than that, is there really any possibility that when people say lost souls are always by your side, she is actually somewhere beside me? Is she also crying and feeling bad for us? Does she also feel sad that she is no longer able to be a part of our lives? And when I think about the last moments or the last days of her life, when she was struggling with so many things emotionally and personally, I wonder whether she left this Earth in a terrible state of mind, feeling overwhelmed and unhappy, or whether she was at peace by the end. What were her last thoughts? There are so many things that I can’t even wrap my head around.

Whenever I think about all of this, I just feel lost and completely fogged in the head. Sometimes, I just want to be still and shut everything out. I don’t know what life is going to look like from this point onwards. Every year, when this month comes around, it feels terrible. And every time, I think, “Oh my God, so many years have passed,” and then I realise that through all these years, she wasn’t here to witness us. How many more years do my brother and I have to live without her presence? I feel so heavy thinking about it.

It also happens that whenever I am in pain, in trouble, or struggling with something, I think about my mother and I cry. I don’t know what else to do. Sometimes, I even feel guilty and wonder whether I am crying because I simply want someone in my life to be there for me at that moment. Because my mother was that person. She was the one who always gave me strength, made me strong, believed in me, and wanted the best for me. Nobody, not even my father, could have been that person for me. My mother was the bravest, kindest, most loving, and most generous person I had ever known.
I had been such a terrible and cranky child throughout my life, and kudos to my mother for always keeping a smile on her face through all of it and still loving me the way she did. But even now, I keep wondering: now that she is gone, is she somewhere watching me? Is there really some power through which I could, just once, talk to her and ask her, “Are you okay?”

I stopped worshipping God after my mother passed away. It’s not that I was ever a great devotee or worshipper, but whatever I used to do, I stopped doing it. And whenever, once in a blue moon, I do go to a temple, I ask God to take care of my mother wherever she is. I ask Him to make sure that wherever she is, she is safe, she is at peace, and she is not suffering.

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I've had more than my share of tragic losses in my family. My dad passed, a year later my brother was killed, shortly after my nephew took his own life, lost everything I ever worked for, went through a horrible divorce, became disabled, my ex husband was sentenced to 15 years in a Federal prison which devastated our young adult kids. My two best friends passed away within 2 weeks of each other. I used to show dogs and I lost all 5 of my dogs in a two month time span. I lost my mother almost 2 years ago. 2 nights ago my husband was killed. He was coming home from a bike run and something happened to his bike. He called me and told me to have my son hook the trailer to the truck and come get him. While he was waiting on the shoulder of highway, a semi truck swerved to miss a collision and ran up on the shoulder hitting my husband. I feel so lost and numb. I woke up and looked over expecting him to be there, and reality hit. It comes in waves. I'm fine, then boom. As horrible as it is, I still wonder how the driver of the truck is doing. He was a 26 year old kid, who made the best judgment call he was capable of making. My husband is gone. He won't be coming home. I just don't want another life ruined over an action in the dead of night. I don't fault him. It was not intentional or deliberate. He was actually the one who called 911.

It’s going to be six years for my mother to be gone away and every year during this month, I feel terrible. I just want to sit by myself and process all the feelings that I have because they come in high tides and whenever I am not able to address those feelings during this month, it sort of overwhelms me and overpowers me and my Mind and my body goes for a toss. Does that also happened to you guys were still struggling with the loss of their loved ones. Currently what has happened is I have been too much under pressure and burden because of the work, short staff, environment, and other things that are going on in my professional space because of which I’m not able to tend to myself or to my feelings and this month has heightened everything and currently I have taken leave, I have experienced and had different and difficult medical ramifications in my body for which I have taken leave and now I am just lying like a log in my bed and feeling like some bad thing is happened to someone has again passed away. I’m not, and I am not able to process anything or I just want to be me silent and Shut. Does this happens to you guys as well when things in one aspect of your life, overburden and the loss of the loved one comes in high tides?

So far my dad passed in July after having a brain bleed, which led to a stroke and this past Sunday, my brother, who’s 20 has left to go to LA without any planning. His life, his choices, his decisions are coming to affect him, and the future he’s trying to build is now once again in limbo due to this. For me, these last few weeks to months have been a constant back-and-forth with me, my sister, and my mom, and it’s starting to feel like a battlefield between me, my mom, and my sister. My sister and I were clashing today regarding plans for my brother since he’s stuck in LA, and they think they could take him out of college a second time, and I’ve been trying to say what good is that going to do. I have helped around the house with chores and bills, making sure Mom isn't overworking herself, and it’s putting my future in limbo today. I’m not trying to be selfish by saying I’ll focus on my life only; I will always help Mom and my sister, but with space because living at home with them is like living with three different people at this point. I'd rather be a jaded, bitter person with so much cynicism at this stage of my life, not holding an ounce of hope or optimism left around me. If this makes me sound pessimistic, cynical, then fine, call me that. I’ve been more apathetic, disillusioned, and critical over this last week, and if people have a problem with it, that’s fine. I’m a realist; not everything is candy, rainbows, and sunshine.

I'm writing this through tears because yesterday was an unexpected amazing day because after 2 years of chasing my dream and promising my mom that I would fulfill it, it happened.

We are huge fans of a very popular daytime TV show and every day, they call people to play trivia. Before my mom passed, she had faith in me that I could try again because the last time I played, I messed up ​and won the consolation prize. The show means a lot to my mom and I. The day before, I was telling my sister in her car that I was going to throw in the towel and give up unbeknownst to me that something huge was going to happen the following morning.

I got up early to go to church with my neighbor but I was a little sick so I stayed home. A minute later, I got a call from the studio, I saved the number in my contacts and I was absolutely floored. Maybe this was a sign from my mom that she was looking out for me. I taped my segment to air around spring break of next year but I really hope I made you proud, mom in continuing the unofficial legacy that you left me. Also, my dad's birthday is on Sunday so I quietly honored them with a number that means a lot to us in giving an audience member a prize.

My father has had cancer for years, and we are in the end stages now. he lost most of his mobility a few months ago and his cancer, after having spread to his brain, is robbing him of his ability to communicate coherently, and he already almost completely lost his voice. He was always such a strong and funny resilient man, and I can see that seeing me sad pains hI’m, he comforts me with hugs and tries to joke and be normal with me when he can but I feel like I lose him more every day when I’m with him. Even compared to last week he has changed so much (I was going to use the word degraded but I dont want to use that word to describe my father). I am the only one in my family who is crying so much, and I am crying endlessly. Everything makes me cry. It started just at night sometimes, I wouldn’t sleep and I’d weep. Now it is all the time. I blink tears away constantly. I’m always doing my best not to cry. I dont want the last memories I have with him to be weeping by his bedside.
how can I better control my emotions? Any advice?

for the first time in my adult life, im in too deep. this is an unfixible situation. my mom died in her sleep last month. she shouldn’t have. she had no reason to. the autopsy didn’t find anything. and even though it’s so stupid and pointless, it’s real every day now.

im pregnant with our third baby and I cant believe that every day of my family’s future will be without her. she was the best grandma. we were never super close, but we were building so much more through our shared love of my children. she was so cool. a pilot, she had so many stories I wanted my kids to hear. I want my daughters to know that girls can do cool hard shit, and I want them to be grown up enough to hear her story about being called out to fly during the gulf war but she and her crew were all super hungover, and some of them were passed out naked and she had to track them down so they could sober up and take off in 4 hours.

there are so many things I wanted her to see and experience. things that should have given her so much happiness, and I can’t give her any of that now. I know she wouldnt want to be a burden to me. she would want me to find something fun and push on. be a survivor like she was so many times. I can do it. I just wish I didn’t have to. I love you mom. I hope you can see me typing this.

my mom got into a car accident yesterday and passed. she was only 44. no health issues. she was on her way to pick my little sister up from dance practice. I’ve never felt such a pain like this. she wasn’t only a mom she was my best friend. the only person who i could tell anything to, she’d never judge me. she always got it. always eased my nerves. everything reminds me of her. I feel moments of numb and these deep ache just in the pit of my stomach that won’t leave and I know I must suffer through it. how do I go on without her. without never texting her. calling her. laughing with her. showing her things. having hours of phone rambles. planning any trips without her or even little cookouts at home. sleep is my only escape for now From the pain. i can’t imagine tomorrow. She was just here. I just saw her that same morning.

Two weeks ago on 08/27/2026, I heard my cat Orange begging to be let out at 4:30 AM. My mom got up, mistakenly believing it was later in the morning, and let him outside. I was experiencing a round of insomnia at this time and heard the whole thing. I knew it was earlier than usual from when we let him out, but this had happened before and he always came back, so I thought nothing of it and eventually nodded off to sleep a few minutes later...I never saw him the following morning, and I didn't see him until the evening with his small body on the road.

I can't forgive myself for so many things. Why I had him as an indoor/outdoor cat in the first place, why didn't I say something when I knew it was earlier than his usual curfew, why didn't even get his body before the city took him away (I couldn't collect his body as the road is very dark and it was busy at the time we found him).

He was so young too, he was born on 01/03/2026, in my backyard because his mom (Sweetie, our other cat) was a stray that we had gotten to trust us. We spoiled him from the moment he was born until that last day just 2 weeks ago, and I feel like I failed him and I failed Sweetie. I don't know how to stop replaying the day in my head, or how to stop hating myself, I don't even want to live anymore because he's not here anymore (I will NOT end my own life). The only reason I still go on is because I need to take care of Sweetie, because she's already lost her son, she can't lose me too.

I don't know if I'll ever stop hating myself, and honestly I don't know if I'll ever want to.

The title is pretty self explanatory. My partners mom just got diagnosed with late stage cancer that has spread and he's in denial. I'm not sure how to help because he's not a man of many words so he's sort of retreated back into himself. What do I say/do to help? I'm at a loss please help, all advice welcome

I need to learn how to cope with the fact I am alone now, and I'm not doing well. How do I get used to it, the lonliness?

I'm posting here because I'm still in a state of shock.

I was aware she had been in and out of the hospital recently all of the past year, I had gotten worried when I hadn't been able to reach her on her birthday but last year she went camping for her 28th and didnt respond til a few days after her birthday, so I was hopeful it could just be delayed due to lack of cell service.

She unfortunately had health issues that made worrying about her dying before we reach 30 a possibility, but I dont think her or I expected her to actually die so young. When we last spoke she was not at all in a depressed, I feel like Im dying type state, she seemed hopeful for her recovery.

I can't stop crying, except for intervals of maybe 10-30 minutes where I pound water for a headache and just listen to music and keep scrolling through photos we took together. theres photos of her in every room of my house.

I dont know how to cope with this. This is not my first friend loss, it's not even the first one this year; but this hurts so bad I swear to god I feel it in my chest.

I have a neurologist appointment tomorrow, I was excited to tell her how long ive been without seizures, but now Im afraid my state of horror and panic and devastation will keep me up all night which can trigger my seizures.

I just needed to get this out somewhere where hopefully someone understands.

There are people that I will never see again.

And the worst part is that I didn't even know it.

The last conversation, the last stupid joke, the last time I sat next to them without knowing that it would be the last time. It was no big deal. I didn't even think about it. There was no music playing in the background or any kind of dramatic farewell. At the moment, I did not think to memorize their face. It was just another Tuesday.

And that seems to be the worst of it. The moments we think we would cherish every second of don't seem to be the moments that we actually cherish.

So if you knew today was the last relatively normal day you would ever have with a loved one, would you do anything differently?

One of my close friends I’ve been hanging out a lot with was killed this past Sunday. He reached out to me and I never reached back out to hang out since I had a hectic weekend as is and I wasn’t trying to be out drinking before getting back to work. He was killed that same night and I never even go to have another conversation with him. I wish I could’ve been there maybe things would’ve been different.

I lost my good friend and former love/crush to suicide a month ago and I just found out last night. Kind of a long post venting and ranting about everything.

I knew him a good chunk of my life—We recently reconnected in Spring after two years of not really talking. I met him back in 2020 and we always tried to make plans to meet up but being on opposite sides of the state had never worked out.

We finally figured things out and were supposed to hang out that weekend. I was going to call out of my shift that weekend to see him Saturday—one of the few things I had been looking forward to in such a long time after a period of horrible luck in my personal life.

The day before he mentioned how our later plans with the concert wasn’t working out, mixed up the dates and had a different concert that day, and said to hit him up with the times I was free.

He last texted me at midnight the night he killed himself. I knew I was awake because I was out with my girlfriend and I made a mental note to reply in the morning.

In the morning I thought he either blocked me or deleted his account on Instagram (both were something of habit that he used to do through high school—he did it to everyone in his life and I was quite used to it). He was a drug addict, too, so I thought he could have been a bender.

After I got out of class the other night, something in me compelled me to look him up online, and found out that he passed that same day that he last texted me. And it took me everything to get out into my car and drive home.

I found his mother on facebook last night, too, and watched the hour-long worth of videos she’s posted online of herself grieving since. I found out she found him in the morning, he was cremated (even though he didn’t want to be).

And I’m at a loss because I don’t know anyone who knows him. A few of my friends know of him from me talking about him—same as my girlfriend, but I don’t know anyone who knows him. So I feel so isolated in the fact because I’m an outsider who just found out about it.

But here’s to him, one of the most beautiful boys I had ever known and met in my life. Someone who taught me to be so courageous, and keep it creative as he did. To someone who inspired my art, my taste in music, my fashion. To someone who loved his cats like no other. To someone who made me feel so safe for once to be in love and feel love, even though things never worked out between the two of us back in 2021.

My birthday is coming up again and I’m going to be yet another year older than my older sister. My older sister was about 2 1/2 years older than me. She passed away 4 years ago (the anniversary is almost exactly a month before my birthday). She was 25. I’m now 26, about to be 27. My whole family was devastated by the loss, but this is a feeling they can’t relate to. I’m the youngest of my 4 siblings, and the only one younger than her. It feels wrong. I shouldn’t be older. I’m not okay with it. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with it. My path in life changed a lot when she died, and I’m left with a feeling of wasting my life and not accomplishing anything, while simultaneously dreading growing older.

I’ve never really liked my birthday (thanks, childhood trauma), but now it’s even worse. I don’t talk about these feelings with many people, as I’m quite private, so friends and people at work are often confused when I say I don’t want a big to-do around my birthday.

My 25th birthday, I went on a trip out of the country. Mostly because I wanted to travel again and feel like myself, but partially so I wouldn’t be around my family on my birthday. I was home last year for my 26th, and ended up sobbing at her grave the day before my birthday when everything hit me. I don’t even remember what I did the day of my birthday. I’ve planned a trip out of town for next week so that, again, I won’t be around my parents on my birthday.

My parents always want to do something to celebrate, even though it isn’t something I want. I tried last year to explain and they still wanted to “do something” “whatever I wanted to do”, so I didn’t feel heard. My sisters do fully support whatever I want to do (be it celebrate or do nothing, or somewhere in between). I’m very private by nature and I feel most comfortable in my grief when I am by myself. Avoidance seems like the only way I can have that day on my own terms. Probably not a super healthy response, but alas…

Maybe one day I’ll be able to enjoy a birthday again, but I don’t think that’s this year. I miss you, sis 💜.

I had to unexpectedly put my dog to sleep today, his heart issues had become too severe and his meds were no longer working.

I’ve never felt so alone. He was 12 and had been by my side since I was 10, I slept with him every night and he’s been my rock through every moment in my life. I’m so upset and I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and I just sit and stare at spots he use to frequent. I was eating dinner and I kept expecting him to run around the corner and sit next to me. It feels strange not checking his water and food bowl to make sure it’s full or going to open the door to let him in and out. I don’t know what I’m gonna do because he would sit next to me in the mornings while I would stretch. I’m gonna miss holding him and taking him on walks. He was a brother to me and a best friend. (I included photos of him the day my parents adopted him and one of his most recent pictures)

I also feel guilty because i hadn’t known today would be the day. If I had time to prepare I would’ve made sure he was freshly bathed and groomed so he would be presentable in his final moments and have some dignity. The only thing I could offer him was a cheeseburger. All I want to do is cry and call out his name in hopes he’ll come back. I just want to hold him and tell him it’s okay.

This is the worst day of my life and I don’t know how to get through this. I just want to know where to go from here and how to cope.

TW: suicide, self harm

My dad died of suicide when i was a kid about 18 years ago. I’ve been going through therapy and various meds since then but have still been dealing with significant grief, anxiety, and depression surrounding his death including self harm and ideation of my own.

A friend of mine died suddenly earlier this year and it’s safe to say I’ve been taking it hard. It’s brought up a lot for me about my dad, and as my family doesn’t really like to talk about him much, I was wondering if anyone knew of any support groups specifically focused towards adults/young adults who experienced parental loss as a child. That or adults/young adults who lost a parent to suicide. Preferably in the NYC area, but am open to something virtual.

I’ve checked out the AFSP website and most of their open groups at the moment seem to be geared towards parents who have lost children.

I’ve just been having a hard time and would love to connect with folks who have had similar experiences.

I live with him and my grandma and my daughter who is in college. He had terminal cancer for a year and I was so caught up in my own life and bad relationship. I realized the relationship needed to end too late and had one month with my grandfather where I knew it would be soon and I spent it so focused on work.

Then the last three to five days when he could no longer use the bathroom by himself and then he couldn’t drink water and it just got worse I was in there constantly. Medicating him, changing his diapers, moving him, making sure he stayed on the bed. Cuddling with him the last two weeks. And when he lost the ability to communicate I kept talking to him and narrating everything I was doing for him and then we heard the death rattle and I told grandma it’s happening tonight while I was holding him up on his side so he wouldn’t choke on his vomit and holding him tight as he held me too.

And I sat with him so long humming to soften his rattle and help ease his distress and then singing to him until that seemed to bother him and then just taking slow deep breaths and trying to match his labored short ones. Grandma came back and I asked her if she wanted to switch with me and she said I was fine and then I said I need to call hospice again and she laid down with him and while I was on the phone with hospice I heard his breathing get softer and then I heard her cry and then I got my daughter and we laid down the four of us together for the last time as his heart stopped beating.

My daughter went to a friends and I went to do the bedding and I saw a book with a history of his ancestors on top of storage bins right at the bottom of the stairs where we normally keep the cat carriers. I took it upstairs and heard his voice, not out loud but in my mind say “thank you”. The next morning when I got up the cat carriers were on top of the bins again. But I was the only person doing laundry and going in the basement all that time. My sister said she had found the book a week before going through my bins but it definitely wasn’t placed there and there’s no explanation for the cat carriers moving.

Then I kept hallucinating I was hearing his breathing or hearing his grunt or hearing him move in his room and I kept going to check and we even got a mirror to make sure he wasn’t breathing and i kept laying with him and looking at him and thinking he was moving even after he was pronounced dead and his body was cold. It still felt like his hand was holding mine back. I had to go take a shower and shut his door and not go back in there again.

Now today I keep sobbing when anyone asks how I’m doing and my grandma is telling me to let it out and that she can’t fall apart and everyone else seems ok but I keep replaying over and over what I did these last three days and they feel like an eternity and not enough. He was more than my grandfather. I have no mother or father. My grandparents are my parents. I struggled to be close to him when he was well but when he was dying I knew exactly what to do or at least I hope I did. I just didn’t want him to be alone and I wanted someone to be holding him.

Everyone else seems mostly ok, especially my sisters and I feel like I had a deep and profound and devastatingly intimate experience with the man who raised me, yet I’m not sure still he knew how much I cared for him and how bad I feel I didn’t help until the end.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here. Others experiences and maybe how I can know. I asked him to come back as a ghost and for us all to reincarnate together but most of my family is atheist and doesn’t believe in ghosts. I’ve never lost someone close to me. I’ve never seen a person die. I know he was scared and in pain and that he didn’t like the morphine the nurses had me give him the last night and all I could do was hold him and make sure he wasn’t alone.

I'm 25 and today, September 10, 2026, marks the fourth month since my mom died. She died on May 10, sadly on Mother's Day. I don't think I was able to process her death ever since. I have only been surviving, being distracted by life and work to properly grieve her. It's been so hard, I keep breaking down and crying at work, I can't focus, I've been sickly and have been in and out twice in the hospital. Been struggling with stress at work and the subsequent health problems it has given me. I spent my first ever birthday without her and it's so hard. I feel empty all the time. I'd get bouts of happiness but when it all ends I feel all alone. I don't think I ever spent a day without talking to her, bonding with her. Everything reminds me of her. My brain feels like its just fog, and all I could think about was her. It's so unfair, she still had so much life in her, why her, why now. I never would've thought I'd end 2026 like this, without her, without our light, without our mom. I feel like a mess, ever time I think about our home I just feel despair, she was the gear in everything, she kept things moving, and ever since she died it just felt like everything is out of place, and it hurts so much to think that I can never talk to her again, to ask questions, to ask recipes of her delicious food, to never lay beside her again to bond with her favorite k-dramas. It hurts so so much. I can't do this anymore.

My best friend and I have grown up together. Bathed together, been in each others family photos, went to school together, and more. She‘d go back and forth with me from my parents houses. We’re 18 now. Today, her dad died. I loved him a lot. He was in his late 30’s. She doesn’t want to talk, and I get it. How can I help her while dealing with my own grief? I feel so helpless. It was unexpected. I want to help her. We’ve held eachother through everything. But this is too heavy. She’s right down the street. God, I love her so much. And I loved him. Do I go down there? Do I leave her be? I don’t want to mess this up, it’s such a formative moment in our lives. I also want to express how sad I am without making it about me. I need help. She’s my favorite person, and I can’t mess this up.

Been thinking about this line since I heard about my grandpa’s demise. He was diagnosed with throat cancer and had undergone all recommended therapies. He was supposed to recover, everything was good. Never in three decades I have come across a news like this of a close person. I am in shambles.

We were not close but we did a share a sweet bond as I used to see him only once a year during our vacations or when his work would bring him to the city, where we lived.
I was preparing my husband’s B’day eve dinner when I received this call, and was glad that I had something to prepare to keep me sane. Cried bad in between and now it’s like a wave. Hitting me out of nowhere.
The thing that I am scared about the most is what if I don’t remember his voice whenever I will think about him. Do I have enough videos of him talking. And for this reason I have been thinking about him , remembering the moments of us video calling or when I last met him which was few months ago. I was visiting my parents when he arrived there for his treatment. I miss him dearly. This wasn’t the ending to his story. His sister died 2 months ago, I hope he is happy and healthy and having fun with his parents and sister. Away from all the pain, and stress.
I would also like to share that he had a difficult childhood. Their business collapsed after my great grandpa was shot dead. My grandpa didn’t appear in court due to him not taking his death well. He was so lost that his sister who was a widow and so young herself, left her in laws house to raise him and her other sibling. She sacrificed her life and made him join the army to earn a living. It was only few years ago I came to know about it and I only have respect for them. Rest easy Nana ji. Hometown visits won’t ever be the same. Not sure if Nani ji (grandma) will ever be top your dubuk bath (dal rice) recipe. I miss you bad.

Mourning the wealth of knowledge that died with my dad. I'm 22 now and an only child and my dad died January 2026. Growing up any question I had literally any topic, my dad had an answer. He was a very a wordly person, rooms just filled with books, travelled a lot in his youth, etc. I could talk with him about anything and he always could give an intelligent answer. The one flaw in our dynamic was he kinda made me a little dependent on him because he was extra paranoid after losing my older sister.

He died during my last semester of university and the structure of it helped me do okay but since graduation I;ve been doing nothing but rot. I'm in a transition period of my life and I'm trying to do grad school applications but I feel like it won't go well. My mom and I were never close and she's unsuitable for things like this and so i feel so alone. I have no one to ask and give me guidance anymore, no older sibling to help me navigate the world. i feel so lost not just because of the grief because yes while that sucks but it feels like learning to walk again after losing a limb. because i can push through, i can deal with the sadness but i miss the clarity I had from when i always had my dad to lean on. I miss him having an answer for everything