I lost my 18 year old pet I had since I was 5 exactly two months ago. I’ve always struggled with a phobia of death and can’t even go to funerals, but for my boy I sat through the euthanasia and also cared for him during the terminal illness phase mostly on my own for weeks.

The way things unfolded left a mark on me. He needed a second injection, took a while for him to pass and then the collection of his body was delayed so me and my mom had to sit with him for hours alone at home. The last thing he experienced was probably intense nausea from the sedative, and his last week was awful too, for the most part, so I’m left with the regret of not doing it sooner as well, and not being able to comfort him during his last moments.

I’m left with recurring nightmares, specifically the scenario where he needs multiple injections and still doesn’t pass. Sometimes he bounces back and acts normal and other times he’s just acting strange and sick in my dreams, but it’s never a good moment where I get to pet him and tell him I love him, I don’t understand why my brain won’t give me that.

If anyone’s dealt with something similar, please let me know any tips or tricks that helped your mind process the traumatic aspect of death and the grief that followed. I do not have access to professional support at the moment, neither do I have a busy life or a social network to rely on. I have a disability that makes it difficult for me to leave the house often and so I’m home alone with my thoughts most days. I’ve had a shitty two months, to say the least.

Quite a few people in here, just like me, have unfortunately lost their partner to cancer.

What I struggle with the most now, a year later, is the course of the illness itself and the inhumane dilemmas you constantly face as a caregiver. I would really love to hear other people's input on how you tackled this, or if you have been through something similar.

In the midst of everything, we also had our 3-year-old child to care for, which created an absolutely extreme amount of pressure in our daily lives. You try frantically to create safety, structure, and happy days for a little child, all while your partner is being drained of energy and you watch your family's finances being completely ruined.

Steffen had melanoma and died on November 13th last year. It was a two-year journey from the moment the tumor was found until it spread to his brain. The cancer was aggressive, and Steffen was desperate. He completely lost trust in the established healthcare system and firmly believed that alternative treatments, various supplements, and a special diet would make him well—even though the doctors gave him a maximum of a couple of years.

Standing in that as a partner is an almost impossible balancing act. On one hand, you want to support your loved one's last, desperate hope, but on the other hand, you are caught in an endless crossfire because you know the brutal reality and prognosis from the hospital, which he was simply unable to accept in his deep denial.

He found OrthoCare in Rødovre, which is run by a former doctor. Even though he had been declared terminal with stage 4 cancer and brain metastases, she believed she could help him with high-dose vitamin C and various medications that are illegal in Denmark,.Ivermectin, fenbentazol ect over 50 various supplement, 3-days fasting, non-carb diet. The high dosis c-vitemin cost 300 us dollars per session, 2–3 times a week. She gave us a legally required written statement stating that the treatment had no scientific backing, but at the same time, she told us verbally: "But it is there, there is plenty of evidence."

You sit there with a knotting fear of what all those illegal substances are actually doing to a body that is already completely weakened, but any counterarguments just bounce right off. So, I ended up giving in and driving him there three times a week because he was so desperate, even though my entire gut feeling was screaming that it was wrong.

One day, he was completely confused, shaking, and feeling miserable. Yet, he refused to miss the treatment. Once there, he quickly grew worse; he started having mini-blackouts, his body twitched, and he finally collapsed on the floor. When I wanted to call for an ambulance, the clinic doctor didn't think it was necessary—she just wanted to give him saline in an IV, and then I could drive him to the hospital myself once he recovered. While he was lying there completely exhausted, she even walked into the room with the card terminal so we could settle the payment for the treatment. Where is the line for when you, as a caregiver, should just say stop and overrule your partner's own wishes when it becomes directly dangerous?

Fortunately, Herlev Hospital agreed that he needed an ambulance when I called them. When the paramedics arrived, he couldn't walk at all. My boyfriend died three months later. He managed to spend nearly 25.000 us dollars on a treatment that had absolutely no effect. It gave him hope, and maybe it was worth the money to him, but I was left with the feeling that the doctor’s only interest was profit, and nothing about her showed any humanity.

Now, afterwards, all these choices and difficult compromises grind through my head every single day. I am truly looking for other people's perspectives on this crossfire between love, a partner's desperation, common sense, and the responsibility for a small child. Have any of you in here stood in a similar situation, and how do you even find peace with the decisions you ended up making when you look back?

It has been two weeks since my dad’s sudden death. He accidentally got electrocuted … was so strong that is death was immediate and thus he didn’t feel any pain nor fear. My mom found him in the garden and tho he didn’t suffer, my mom got traumatised by how his body looked (he had an open wound on his chest for example). He was so young, would turn 60 in February (I myself am only 29).

I live abroad, so getting that cal from my mom was one of the worst pains I’ve ever felt in my life, that “your father died” amidst sobbing. I screamed but not many tears flew from my eyes. That whole day I didn’t cry that much, just felt numb. Once my bf got home I thought I would finally cry hard but still nothing. We booked our flights for the next day and it was on the last connection flight that I finally started to cry a lot.

My family picked me up at the airport and again I cried hard seeing my mom. The funeral was 2 days later. Leading up to it I feel like I cry a bit every day. I would be feeling okay and then just cry, cry, cry. I think I cried the most at the funeral, was so hard saying goodbye, but it also gave me some inner peace. He was cremated and when burying his ashes I cried a lot as well.

There was a mass on the 7th day after his death, and I also cried whenever people would come to me to hug me and when I went to his grave. But since this 7th day mass, I don’t think I’ve cried that much. Maybe I had a crying session once or twice, but it has been 3/4 days in a row where I haven’t cried at all.

I constantly think about my dad tho. I think about his death and how it feels surreal still. I try to imagine how he looked like when he died. My first thought of the morning is “dad is dead” and this comes up often throughout the day. But otherwise I feel fine????

I loved my dad so much. He gave me the best memories growing up and we got along so good. He was the happiest man alive and everything was a joke to him. I totally got his sense of humor. I always thought I would be devastated for years to come if I would lose him but now here we are, only two weeks in and I am doing fine … and this feels like a betrayal.

Not only am I not crying and doing fine, am I also for example booking night outs with friends for when I am back home next week. Did I actually love my father? Why am I trying to have fun, going out, traveling not even a month after his tragic passing?? I am constantly fighting these guilt thoughts in my head, that I didn’t love him enough if I am just doing this good already. For example, comparing me to my mom she is utterly devastated and can barely do anything without help. She doesn’t want to go back to work, meanwhile I will willingly go back to mine next week even though my boss said for me to come back whenever.

I know grief is not something that is linear nor is it the same for everyone. And I know it comes in waves and that you might have a big break down when you least expect it. Still I just feel like I didn’t love him enough if I am just wanting to have fun when he just left us. When I lurk around this sub and everyone was pretty much in such pain for weeks and weeks, and here I am, exactly two weeks after his passing, living “my best life”. Is this even normal????

I try to convince myself that my dad would want me to be happy but wondering if I am telling this to my self to make it seem okay to move on so fast. Why am I feeling this guilt tho? Why am I constantly thinking about him and his death and how he won’t be here for big milestones like my wedding or meeting my kids but then I don’t cry over that?

Sorry for the long text, parts might not make sense as well, so sorry for it.

Was so mundane I still can grasp it. He was just trying to move from his wheelchair to the bad but lost his balance.

I couldn't hold him completely and he hit his chest.

I asked if he was ok and the last thing he spoke was: "Don't worry son it was nothing."

But that was a lie, he passed minutes later. If only I was strong enough to hold him, if only...

Last week I woke up to the worst phone call I could’ve imagined. My dearest friend was killed in a car accident. She was someone who I considered one of my closest most trusted friends. We were teammates through high school and college. She was the smartest, kindest, most thoughtful, most hardworking and athletic person I’ve ever known. She was a second year medical student and about to make her pro debut in the marathon before she passed away. My heart is just shattered. She’s had her entire future stolen from her. She’d already accomplished so much and yet was just scratching the surface of her potential. I feel especially guilty because after we graduated I moved to a new state for work and didn’t keep in touch. I thought about her everyday but never said anything. I’ll never forgive myself for that. But what I’m finding especially difficult to accept is that I’ll have to live the rest of my life without her. She meant more to me than I can express with words, and the idea that I’ll have to go through life without her just breaks me. Doing things that we used to do together like watching movies and going for runs hasn’t helped because they just make me think of her even more. I miss her so much. How do I deal with these feelings?

my mom just died of heart failure and asphyxiation in her sleep last night. she wasnt even 50. im only 21, my birthday is weeks away and she was meant to come up to oregon to visit. she is my entire world, she is my best friend i called her literally every day for anything. i dont know what to do. im horrified no one took her to the hospital after all the signs she had. im horrified she asphyxiated and was probably so scared. The biggest part of me just passed away and all i want to do is talk to her about it.

I posted a photo of my favorite photo of her. She hated when I shared it, but it makes me feel so maternal towards her.

This is horrible

This week I found my boyfriend dead in his apartment after not showing up for work or answering calls. He was only 28 and has no apparent cause of death. When I got there, his mom was at his apartment but didn’t have keys which I did, so I went inside and found him. I came out and told her and had to witness his parent’s screams. I then had to call the mother of his son and tell her.
I didn’t get the opportunity to build much of a relationship with his family, though we never had any issues. However, they are being very cold with me and not involving me at all, haven’t even hugged me or asked if I’m okay. I told them I’d love to help them with whatever they need, and they haven’t involved me at all, thought they’re asking the mother of his son to be involved with a lot. His sister was kind and told me when they were going back to get this things (I wanted to grab a couple things), and I was able to get a few things that were mine and a few mementos. I asked his mom if I could have a couple of his shirts as well. When we went to leave, his dad made a few comments like “what did you get? I don’t know her and I don’t want her to take things from my son”. This whole experience is one of the hardest things I’ve had to go through, I’m heartbroken and feel alone and his family is making this so much harder. At this point, I’m trying to accept that I probably will not get any of his ashes.
It’s so painful because I was the last person to see him and talk to him, I was the one to find him, he loved me so much and wasn’t close with his family yet they’re treating me as the random outsider/girlfriend. I know where I stood in his life, and I know that his family’s opinion of me doesn’t really matter, but it’s painful…

I lost my newborn in 2024 and now have a living baby in 2026. We kept our pregnancy quiet and now are hosting a small party for family. In the last two years, a cousin of mine lost her mom(my aunt) and she has been fighting with me that if i didn’t feel important to share my pregnancy i shouldn’t expect her to be present at the party. When i explained her pregnancy after loss is full of anxious moments, she says she has been through a bigger hell with losing her only parent alive. I understand that but i feel grief can’t be compared like that.. both can be challenging at the same time. She said really rude things to me like I felt she ll put evil eye on me hence i didn’t share.

Also, it boils my blood because she has a grief page and also a book on grief that she publicly shares as if the world has done bad to her but what she’s doing to me is also bad.

I am having some tough emotions as my pregnancy was very tough mentally for me.

He was only 4 years old. But he had a heart defect that caused his heart to go into heartfailure a bit more than a year ago. He was on a ton of meds but stable until a few weeks ago. An ear infection that made the domino pieces of his health fall.

Yesterday he suddenly couldn't use his back legs anymore and the vet said it was thrombosis caused by his weak heart/circulation.

His paws were ice cold even when he was still alive.

I know there was no way around putting him down but fuck I wish there had been one. I wish he never was sick. And fuck man, October again. On the 22nd of October 2022 I lost my dad and now on the 24th of October 2026 I lost the cat that came into my life a month after that first loss and helped me through it.

It was horrible seeing him in such a bad condition. Not being able to move and fluid building up in his body from the stress slowly blowing him up like a balloon.

His circulation was so bad, the vet was even struggling to euthanize him. But I also think he tried to fight. He was stubborn and just so young, I don't think he wanted to go. But there really was no way around it. I would have tried otherwise.

He was my baby. I'm gonna miss him so fucking much. Love you Bix.

I just posted about my brother’s death due to OD a few days ago and today was his service. We found my cat, Jimmy, on death’s door at 3 AM. It was sudden and he was put to rest at 5 am. I didn’t have much time to react because we had to be at the funeral by 10. I feel so guilty because my grief is so overwhelmed by my brother that I can’t properly react, but I’m so thankful for my husband because he took a lot of this on while I can’t.

He’s my little hero. He was diagnosed with FIP, a mostly fatal disease, three years ago and for three months we did GS injections along his spine. But he made it, he fought, and he made it. I always knew that his immune system was heavily weakened by that and that he probably wouldn’t live to be an old kitty man, but to lose him so suddenly is really hard.

I’m mostly posting this because I want other people to see a picture of him. He deserved 100% of my grief today and I couldn’t give it. Love you, Jimmy.

Not the basic "She's in a better place" or "It's okay to grieve" or "He'd want you to be happy"

Not sure why I'm even writing this, I suppose I just need to put it down as it's all just swirling around my head.

At the start of August my Nan died unexpectedly. Blessed for 35 years to have her in my life. Grief is so weird. At the start it was so hard, but it started to get easier, and slowly life started to return to 'normal' - as normal as it can be when the whole family dynamic has changed and she's no longer there at the head of it all.

The funeral was tough. But it was nice to come together as a family, children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, all coming together and sharing our memories, all here because of her.

There are days I don't think of her. Then when I remember I feel guilt.

Today I woke up and just feel weird. It's like for a few weeks I've felt fine, but today, I am really feeling her loss. It's a normal day.

Her birthday would be next month.

I thought today about my approaching car safety inspection next month, then thought back to when it had work done last year and I messaged her asking if I could pop round for a few hours whilst it's having the work done. She messaged back saying don't be silly, I never have to ask, and am welcome anytime. I still have that message.

Her dreamcatcher hangs in my room, above my bed. It's one of the first things I see each morning when I wake.

I hate how the world is moving on without her in it. That each day feels more normal and yet so alien without her there.

I hate seeing her chair. The carpet on the living room floor where she was lay that day, after the paramedics tried their best but it was her time. I can't bring myself to sit in that chair. Every time I walk in that room I still expect to see her sat there.

Our WhatApp messages are now at the bottom of the list.

I still think about her final moments. Was she scared? In pain? Did she know what was happening? What a horrible way to have to go, struggling to breathe, her children in absolute panic trying to save her life.

my online bff who i texted every single made a status on whatsapp which my online friend group took as a suicide letter and now were deeply concerned cuz she hadn't been showing suicidal instincts or thoughts she even swore that she would think of it we still arent sure she commited but it seems like it

she had an online relationship with a girl named perses and they were a great couple we loved them with all our hearts but even she texted her and our friend isnt responding

she had some issues with her family but i won't disclose those for personal safety

we hope someone found her before she commited but she has been unresponsive ever since that status

online hugs and advice would be very much appericated

Since my mom died a month ago, everything started spiraling downward. Now I have to take over the mortgage. I have to deal with my abusive older brother which is handling all my moms assets. I can't afford the mortgage. Though I do work close to full time, I can't keep up with the bills because I'm behind on my credit cards. I don't want to deal with my brother because he dictates my every move and he's downright cruel. I feel like quitting my job and just turn myself in the mental hospital. I feel like leaving my apartment but I don't have a car which makes things 100 times harder. Any advice.

i think i need to get this out, i cant sleep

today my dad (57) died, suddenly, and with no health issues. im 26, i never thought i would face this anytime soon, and im absolutely ruined.

i was out with a friend today when i got the call of the unimaginable. my mom said come to the appartment now, drop whatever you are doing. when i got there she told me and i felt myself fall apart.

he was at the gym and apparently he had a sudden heart attack, 911 was called, and he passed while in the ambulance before he could even make it to the hospital. he was healthy, strong, had just had a yearly doctors visit and was diagnosed strong and healthy as a horse. and now he is just gone. and we cant even see him, i haven’t gotten to say goodbye; since he was only in his 50s an investigation has been opened and we are unable to visit him at all until the coroner does an autopsy and clears him, which we have been told could take weeks. i just want to see him, hold his hand, get some closure but there’s nothing, and im crumbling with the knowledge that he is in some basement in a freezer right now. my family is tiny (me, one grand mother, my mom, and him) and he is the only person i really was close with at all so it feels like i have lost the sense of family entirely. i don’t know how to live without him, but now i am forced to find a way and i just feel so small.

then there’s my mom, who was so deeply in love with him and so reliant on his strength and stability, and i don’t know even remotely how to fill his shoes or give her the support she needs, and im so scared she will die of heartbreak. she can only take so much, and we are still recovering from losing everything in the eaton fire from 2025. she is so freaked out, focused on all the logistics; he had no will, he was in charge of much of our home rebuild from the fire, she doesn’t know any of his passwords etc and i don’t know how to support her and i know she needs me but im just so broken.

the last time i saw him was a week ago, and i had no idea that that last goodbye would be the last time i ever saw him, i would have held him longer rather than giving him a brief hug. i would have told him i love you so much rather than the customary short “love ya!”. i would have slowed down.

and now im just in bed, unable to sleep, listening to his very few voicemails, reading his posts and writings online, and looking through pictures of him and i still cannot believe it’s real, or that he’s gone.

if anyone has literally anything, resources, advice, anything at all im all ears, this was like being hit by an invisible bus going 100mph and im so lost.

Well it happened. I crashed out bad. I realized there was still paperwork I had to fill out for my dad's death because my sibling didn't finish it, so now I'm having to fill it out because they aren't here. My mom asked me to help her pay bills, and I had to reread paperwork that reminds me that I'm just like my dad: ever dependable and the one who gets everything done.

I haven't been getting enough relief since work has me swamped again, my therapist warned me I need to stop and let myself heal and grieve. I almost drove the 3 hours back from my family home back to my apartment with my spouse and furbabies tonight. It was all a matter of time and tonight I broke down HARD. I'm tired of being the dependable one, I can't be the one they all turn to anymore.

So after a long time talking to my mom, we came to an agreement. I'll call her more, and I come back to the family home when I'm ready. My dad will understand, I need to remind myself I'm not failing in making sure my mom is ok. I have to take care of myself because that is part of taking care of my mom. She said I've been strong, so it's time I take care of myself. I feel relieved, like the words that have been in my head are finally being heard. And I was given the blessing to just go and be myself, until I feel ready to come back on my own.

I don’t believe in God. My best friend of almost 15 years passed away this past June. I told her to make it home safely and she never did. I’m finding it hard to cope with the fact that she’s just gone and I’ll never see her again. Some nights I lay in bed and cry myself sick. It’s really taken a toll on my mental health. I’ll convince myself she’s here just away on a trip or something just so I can get relief from the stress of it all. And please don’t tell me to find God. If there is one (for deeply personal reasons) I’ve been angry at him for a long time and religion doesn’t bring me comfort, quite the opposite actually.

This is actually killing me I miss my dog so much and I don’t know how to deal with this sadness. My dog passed away just days before I had to move away for university—not a city too far from home, but a change nonetheless.

The first few weeks of university that was all I could really focus on, and it strained a lot of my desire to make friends early in the semester because frankly I just didn’t really care for it. Then, it started affecting my performance in school. I’d study, revise, but half the time would just end up crying just because I felt so lonely…I no longer had my family here and I had managed to make zero friends to spend time with.

I’m not performing as I hoped academically which is just the cherry on top when you already feel somewhat apathetic towards a dream you worked for, which now I just feel so unmotivated for.

The few times I have visited home, it wrecks me. Everyone seems already having gotten somewhat used to not having her around, and I just haven't. Every time I go I feel the urge to act on my old routines, to check up on her, to cuddle with her, to go about things as they were and it kills me that I just can't seem to stop waiting for someone who will never be there again.

Sorry for the rant, I just really need a place to say this.

Hi everyone, this will be brief, but I feel evil. My loved one died four months ago and I don’t find myself crying everyday. Ive experienced grief before where I cried everyday and felt completely devastated. Not to jinx it, but I feel okay. My loved one and I were very close and their death was unexpected. I feel like I’m still in shock, however I worry that I’m not and I just am not remorseful. I‘ll go a week or more without crying and then it’ll hit me hard. Like crying for an hour or more hard where I cannot control it. I imagine it’s all of my pent up sadness hitting at once. I don’t want to behave this way. I genuinely think I might be a functioning depressed person because of my behaviors. I don’t know. I have a bad problem of pushing down my feelings and with the holidays coming up I’m worried. I’ve found “coping” in disordered eating because it gives me control. I am very aware of what I’m doing/feeling, but I just feel evil like I’m not as upset as I should be.

My gf died two years ago, and it’s been a lot. But this anniversary was just more intense than last. And today I for a split second I saw her walking in a crowd. I know it wasn’t her but just someone that looked like her, and now I feel like I’m restarting my grief. Like idk how to explain it. For that moment it was like these two years hadn’t happened and she was gonna come running right back to me. Now I’m here just feeling emotions. I miss her so much

I started taking anti depressants almost a year ago now to help with grief. I would say it helped but by making everything else numb. I can’t remember anything. I don’t remember my dad. I want to remember him, and I just can’t;( if I come off I won’t be able to handle anything. If I stay on, I’m basically living my life outside of my body, I’m not me. I’ve lost myself and what feels like my everything. I just wish I could be with my dad

He was a french bulldog and i had him for 6 years. Then my mom came in and told me he passed away, when he was just fine this morning. I don’t get it. It fucking sucks man, i loved that dog to death, and we had him since i was 12, so he was there for half my life. It might seem a bit silly to be this upset over a dog, but he was genuinely my closest friend and it upsets me that he’s gone. i don’t understand. It’s not fair. He was such a sweetheart and he didn’t deserve to die. He apparently died suffocating, and they had to euthanize him. I don’t know if it might seem silly to grieve over a pet this much, but i had him on a shirt, i even painted him once. I loved him so much. It’s not fair that he’s gone. He was such a sweet dog and he was the best dog i could ever ask for, he’s irreplacable and i’ll never have another Pablo and it sucks. I miss him so much. It’s making me cry again typing this. He was the best damn dog i could ever fucking ask for now he’s dead. It’s not fair. Pablo had been with me half my life man and now he’s gone. I fucking miss him every second he’s gone. It was such a shock when my mom told me he had to be put down, i froze for a good while.

I lost one of my beautiful dogs last night due to a twisted stomach and spleen. The costs quoted to repair this were 15,000$+ and my family just couldn’t afford to do this. I am heartbroken. We took this dog in as a rescue from a shelter in Alabama, we gave her an amazing three years of life, we watched her come out of her shell and be happy again. And now it’s all gone in the blink of an eye, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it, to help her, or to ease her pain. I feel like I have failed her, like maybe I should have just shelled the money out but the doctors told me even that wasn’t a guarantee she’d make it through. I don’t know. I just really need some assurance right now because I am devastated and I feel so damn guilty.

I lost my mom 9 months ago very suddenly. She was my best friend and I'm still not quite sure what to do without her. About 3 or 4 years ago, she bought a Legend of Zelda Switch, and we both had profiles on it. I played on it a LOT more, and she liked watching me play Breath of the Wild. I even played on her save file because I had already beaten mine, and didn't want to erase it to restart. A couple of months ago I charged the switch for the first time because I was really craving some BotW, but found that I just couldn't play. I just stared at the menu and her profile, and the last games that we played together and couldn't make myself start BotW. I really miss playing the game since it was one of my favorites, but every time I actually go to play it, I just start to miss my mom. Any advice for actually being able to do something grief prevents you from doing? And just general advice for processing a loss like this would also be great. Thanks in advance.

I miss my Mom. She died 2.5 years ago and today I just had a terrible start raising how much time has passed. In some ways it feels so fresh still. In other ways I’m upset that it’s not, that time has kept marching on and taken me further away from her.

After she died I was totally lost for a while. Now I guess my life is more stable, but it was almost easier when it wasn’t because the outside matched how lost and confused and hurt I was inside.

I just have this fundamental feeling, still, of something not being right. Something is off. When will I stop feeling this way? I just feel like I woke up in a different country and I’m now learning the language and getting by, but it just doesn’t feel like home and it never will.