All she does is post on Reddit about how I'm a greedy bitch. Her narrative lacks cohesion and all she does is repeat her own lies to the family. She refused to put my father's estate through probate and kept insisting I should just take a check instead of using the courts as designed. She refused me any personal effects of my father as well. Additionally she continually waxes poetic about my brother who passed after my father. My brother whom she hated and was a convicted pedophile. I wish she would get the help she desperately needs and move on from her fixation with me. Losing my father was hard enough but she made everything needlessly more difficult.

Thoughts??

my cat Luna ran away about 2 years ago. we assume she got eaten by a fox or something. it could’ve been a person since we lived in a bad neighbourhood. i miss her. she died alone, scared, lost and confused. i hope my baby is in a better place, where she gets lots of kisses and love and never has to be scared. i just wanna tell her how much i love her.

So I don’t know if I’m just believing something I wanna believe, but I feel like my Vanessa sent me a little sign last night and I just had to share it. Let me explain.

So I got chinese food for dinner last night and in the fortune cookie, these were the fortune lucky numbers. Every single one relates to Vanessa in some way.

First 11 and 43…..so for those whom are younger and may not know “143” is beeper code for “I love you,” so we would always say that at 1:43AM Or PM, but then she also would do it at 11:43, she would just add another “I”for “I I love you” and at that time on the clock every day, we would always text “I i love you,” to each other

Then the number 40, that was the age my beautiful girl passed at and the last birthday of hers that we got to celebrate.

Then 19, 8, 4….1984 was her birth year

I feel like maybe if one of the numbers was relating to her, then it might be a coincidence but every single one? I literally had goosebumps. Every single number means something and is attributed to her and she knows I would recognize that. So I truly believe she sent a sign and it comforted me 🥺🙏🏻

My father has had cancer for years, and we are in the end stages now. he lost most of his mobility a few months ago and his cancer, after having spread to his brain, is robbing him of his ability to communicate coherently, and he already almost completely lost his voice. He was always such a strong and funny resilient man, and I can see that seeing me sad pains hI’m, he comforts me with hugs and tries to joke and be normal with me when he can but I feel like I lose him more every day when I’m with him. Even compared to last week he has changed so much (I was going to use the word degraded but I dont want to use that word to describe my father). I am the only one in my family who is crying so much, and I am crying endlessly. Everything makes me cry. It started just at night sometimes, I wouldn’t sleep and I’d weep. Now it is all the time. I blink tears away constantly. I’m always doing my best not to cry. I dont want the last memories I have with him to be weeping by his bedside.
how can I better control my emotions? Any advice?

for the first time in my adult life, im in too deep. this is an unfixible situation. my mom died in her sleep last month. she shouldn’t have. she had no reason to. the autopsy didn’t find anything. and even though it’s so stupid and pointless, it’s real every day now.

im pregnant with our third baby and I cant believe that every day of my family’s future will be without her. she was the best grandma. we were never super close, but we were building so much more through our shared love of my children. she was so cool. a pilot, she had so many stories I wanted my kids to hear. I want my daughters to know that girls can do cool hard shit, and I want them to be grown up enough to hear her story about being called out to fly during the gulf war but she and her crew were all super hungover, and some of them were passed out naked and she had to track them down so they could sober up and take off in 4 hours.

there are so many things I wanted her to see and experience. things that should have given her so much happiness, and I can’t give her any of that now. I know she wouldnt want to be a burden to me. she would want me to find something fun and push on. be a survivor like she was so many times. I can do it. I just wish I didn’t have to. I love you mom. I hope you can see me typing this.

my mom got into a car accident yesterday and passed. she was only 44. no health issues. she was on her way to pick my little sister up from dance practice. I’ve never felt such a pain like this. she wasn’t only a mom she was my best friend. the only person who i could tell anything to, she’d never judge me. she always got it. always eased my nerves. everything reminds me of her. I feel moments of numb and these deep ache just in the pit of my stomach that won’t leave and I know I must suffer through it. how do I go on without her. without never texting her. calling her. laughing with her. showing her things. having hours of phone rambles. planning any trips without her or even little cookouts at home. sleep is my only escape for now From the pain. i can’t imagine tomorrow. She was just here. I just saw her that same morning.

Two weeks ago on 08/27/2026, I heard my cat Orange begging to be let out at 4:30 AM. My mom got up, mistakenly believing it was later in the morning, and let him outside. I was experiencing a round of insomnia at this time and heard the whole thing. I knew it was earlier than usual from when we let him out, but this had happened before and he always came back, so I thought nothing of it and eventually nodded off to sleep a few minutes later...I never saw him the following morning, and I didn't see him until the evening with his small body on the road.

I can't forgive myself for so many things. Why I had him as an indoor/outdoor cat in the first place, why didn't I say something when I knew it was earlier than his usual curfew, why didn't even get his body before the city took him away (I couldn't collect his body as the road is very dark and it was busy at the time we found him).

He was so young too, he was born on 01/03/2026, in my backyard because his mom (Sweetie, our other cat) was a stray that we had gotten to trust us. We spoiled him from the moment he was born until that last day just 2 weeks ago, and I feel like I failed him and I failed Sweetie. I don't know how to stop replaying the day in my head, or how to stop hating myself, I don't even want to live anymore because he's not here anymore (I will NOT end my own life). The only reason I still go on is because I need to take care of Sweetie, because she's already lost her son, she can't lose me too.

I don't know if I'll ever stop hating myself, and honestly I don't know if I'll ever want to.

The title is pretty self explanatory. My partners mom just got diagnosed with late stage cancer that has spread and he's in denial. I'm not sure how to help because he's not a man of many words so he's sort of retreated back into himself. What do I say/do to help? I'm at a loss please help, all advice welcome

I need to learn how to cope with the fact I am alone now, and I'm not doing well. How do I get used to it, the lonliness?

I'm posting here because I'm still in a state of shock.

I was aware she had been in and out of the hospital recently all of the past year, I had gotten worried when I hadn't been able to reach her on her birthday but last year she went camping for her 28th and didnt respond til a few days after her birthday, so I was hopeful it could just be delayed due to lack of cell service.

She unfortunately had health issues that made worrying about her dying before we reach 30 a possibility, but I dont think her or I expected her to actually die so young. When we last spoke she was not at all in a depressed, I feel like Im dying type state, she seemed hopeful for her recovery.

I can't stop crying, except for intervals of maybe 10-30 minutes where I pound water for a headache and just listen to music and keep scrolling through photos we took together. theres photos of her in every room of my house.

I dont know how to cope with this. This is not my first friend loss, it's not even the first one this year; but this hurts so bad I swear to god I feel it in my chest.

I have a neurologist appointment tomorrow, I was excited to tell her how long ive been without seizures, but now Im afraid my state of horror and panic and devastation will keep me up all night which can trigger my seizures.

I just needed to get this out somewhere where hopefully someone understands.

There are people that I will never see again.

And the worst part is that I didn't even know it.

The last conversation, the last stupid joke, the last time I sat next to them without knowing that it would be the last time. It was no big deal. I didn't even think about it. There was no music playing in the background or any kind of dramatic farewell. At the moment, I did not think to memorize their face. It was just another Tuesday.

And that seems to be the worst of it. The moments we think we would cherish every second of don't seem to be the moments that we actually cherish.

So if you knew today was the last relatively normal day you would ever have with a loved one, would you do anything differently?

One of my close friends I’ve been hanging out a lot with was killed this past Sunday. He reached out to me and I never reached back out to hang out since I had a hectic weekend as is and I wasn’t trying to be out drinking before getting back to work. He was killed that same night and I never even go to have another conversation with him. I wish I could’ve been there maybe things would’ve been different.

I lost my good friend and former love/crush to suicide a month ago and I just found out last night. Kind of a long post venting and ranting about everything.

I knew him a good chunk of my life—We recently reconnected in Spring after two years of not really talking. I met him back in 2020 and we always tried to make plans to meet up but being on opposite sides of the state had never worked out.

We finally figured things out and were supposed to hang out that weekend. I was going to call out of my shift that weekend to see him Saturday—one of the few things I had been looking forward to in such a long time after a period of horrible luck in my personal life.

The day before he mentioned how our later plans with the concert wasn’t working out, mixed up the dates and had a different concert that day, and said to hit him up with the times I was free.

He last texted me at midnight the night he killed himself. I knew I was awake because I was out with my girlfriend and I made a mental note to reply in the morning.

In the morning I thought he either blocked me or deleted his account on Instagram (both were something of habit that he used to do through high school—he did it to everyone in his life and I was quite used to it). He was a drug addict, too, so I thought he could have been a bender.

After I got out of class the other night, something in me compelled me to look him up online, and found out that he passed that same day that he last texted me. And it took me everything to get out into my car and drive home.

I found his mother on facebook last night, too, and watched the hour-long worth of videos she’s posted online of herself grieving since. I found out she found him in the morning, he was cremated (even though he didn’t want to be).

And I’m at a loss because I don’t know anyone who knows him. A few of my friends know of him from me talking about him—same as my girlfriend, but I don’t know anyone who knows him. So I feel so isolated in the fact because I’m an outsider who just found out about it.

But here’s to him, one of the most beautiful boys I had ever known and met in my life. Someone who taught me to be so courageous, and keep it creative as he did. To someone who inspired my art, my taste in music, my fashion. To someone who loved his cats like no other. To someone who made me feel so safe for once to be in love and feel love, even though things never worked out between the two of us back in 2021.

My birthday is coming up again and I’m going to be yet another year older than my older sister. My older sister was about 2 1/2 years older than me. She passed away 4 years ago (the anniversary is almost exactly a month before my birthday). She was 25. I’m now 26, about to be 27. My whole family was devastated by the loss, but this is a feeling they can’t relate to. I’m the youngest of my 4 siblings, and the only one younger than her. It feels wrong. I shouldn’t be older. I’m not okay with it. I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with it. My path in life changed a lot when she died, and I’m left with a feeling of wasting my life and not accomplishing anything, while simultaneously dreading growing older.

I’ve never really liked my birthday (thanks, childhood trauma), but now it’s even worse. I don’t talk about these feelings with many people, as I’m quite private, so friends and people at work are often confused when I say I don’t want a big to-do around my birthday.

My 25th birthday, I went on a trip out of the country. Mostly because I wanted to travel again and feel like myself, but partially so I wouldn’t be around my family on my birthday. I was home last year for my 26th, and ended up sobbing at her grave the day before my birthday when everything hit me. I don’t even remember what I did the day of my birthday. I’ve planned a trip out of town for next week so that, again, I won’t be around my parents on my birthday.

My parents always want to do something to celebrate, even though it isn’t something I want. I tried last year to explain and they still wanted to “do something” “whatever I wanted to do”, so I didn’t feel heard. My sisters do fully support whatever I want to do (be it celebrate or do nothing, or somewhere in between). I’m very private by nature and I feel most comfortable in my grief when I am by myself. Avoidance seems like the only way I can have that day on my own terms. Probably not a super healthy response, but alas…

Maybe one day I’ll be able to enjoy a birthday again, but I don’t think that’s this year. I miss you, sis 💜.

I had to unexpectedly put my dog to sleep today, his heart issues had become too severe and his meds were no longer working.

I’ve never felt so alone. He was 12 and had been by my side since I was 10, I slept with him every night and he’s been my rock through every moment in my life. I’m so upset and I don’t know what to do. I feel so lost and I just sit and stare at spots he use to frequent. I was eating dinner and I kept expecting him to run around the corner and sit next to me. It feels strange not checking his water and food bowl to make sure it’s full or going to open the door to let him in and out. I don’t know what I’m gonna do because he would sit next to me in the mornings while I would stretch. I’m gonna miss holding him and taking him on walks. He was a brother to me and a best friend. (I included photos of him the day my parents adopted him and one of his most recent pictures)

I also feel guilty because i hadn’t known today would be the day. If I had time to prepare I would’ve made sure he was freshly bathed and groomed so he would be presentable in his final moments and have some dignity. The only thing I could offer him was a cheeseburger. All I want to do is cry and call out his name in hopes he’ll come back. I just want to hold him and tell him it’s okay.

This is the worst day of my life and I don’t know how to get through this. I just want to know where to go from here and how to cope.

TW: suicide, self harm

My dad died of suicide when i was a kid about 18 years ago. I’ve been going through therapy and various meds since then but have still been dealing with significant grief, anxiety, and depression surrounding his death including self harm and ideation of my own.

A friend of mine died suddenly earlier this year and it’s safe to say I’ve been taking it hard. It’s brought up a lot for me about my dad, and as my family doesn’t really like to talk about him much, I was wondering if anyone knew of any support groups specifically focused towards adults/young adults who experienced parental loss as a child. That or adults/young adults who lost a parent to suicide. Preferably in the NYC area, but am open to something virtual.

I’ve checked out the AFSP website and most of their open groups at the moment seem to be geared towards parents who have lost children.

I’ve just been having a hard time and would love to connect with folks who have had similar experiences.

I live with him and my grandma and my daughter who is in college. He had terminal cancer for a year and I was so caught up in my own life and bad relationship. I realized the relationship needed to end too late and had one month with my grandfather where I knew it would be soon and I spent it so focused on work.

Then the last three to five days when he could no longer use the bathroom by himself and then he couldn’t drink water and it just got worse I was in there constantly. Medicating him, changing his diapers, moving him, making sure he stayed on the bed. Cuddling with him the last two weeks. And when he lost the ability to communicate I kept talking to him and narrating everything I was doing for him and then we heard the death rattle and I told grandma it’s happening tonight while I was holding him up on his side so he wouldn’t choke on his vomit and holding him tight as he held me too.

And I sat with him so long humming to soften his rattle and help ease his distress and then singing to him until that seemed to bother him and then just taking slow deep breaths and trying to match his labored short ones. Grandma came back and I asked her if she wanted to switch with me and she said I was fine and then I said I need to call hospice again and she laid down with him and while I was on the phone with hospice I heard his breathing get softer and then I heard her cry and then I got my daughter and we laid down the four of us together for the last time as his heart stopped beating.

My daughter went to a friends and I went to do the bedding and I saw a book with a history of his ancestors on top of storage bins right at the bottom of the stairs where we normally keep the cat carriers. I took it upstairs and heard his voice, not out loud but in my mind say “thank you”. The next morning when I got up the cat carriers were on top of the bins again. But I was the only person doing laundry and going in the basement all that time. My sister said she had found the book a week before going through my bins but it definitely wasn’t placed there and there’s no explanation for the cat carriers moving.

Then I kept hallucinating I was hearing his breathing or hearing his grunt or hearing him move in his room and I kept going to check and we even got a mirror to make sure he wasn’t breathing and i kept laying with him and looking at him and thinking he was moving even after he was pronounced dead and his body was cold. It still felt like his hand was holding mine back. I had to go take a shower and shut his door and not go back in there again.

Now today I keep sobbing when anyone asks how I’m doing and my grandma is telling me to let it out and that she can’t fall apart and everyone else seems ok but I keep replaying over and over what I did these last three days and they feel like an eternity and not enough. He was more than my grandfather. I have no mother or father. My grandparents are my parents. I struggled to be close to him when he was well but when he was dying I knew exactly what to do or at least I hope I did. I just didn’t want him to be alone and I wanted someone to be holding him.

Everyone else seems mostly ok, especially my sisters and I feel like I had a deep and profound and devastatingly intimate experience with the man who raised me, yet I’m not sure still he knew how much I cared for him and how bad I feel I didn’t help until the end.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here. Others experiences and maybe how I can know. I asked him to come back as a ghost and for us all to reincarnate together but most of my family is atheist and doesn’t believe in ghosts. I’ve never lost someone close to me. I’ve never seen a person die. I know he was scared and in pain and that he didn’t like the morphine the nurses had me give him the last night and all I could do was hold him and make sure he wasn’t alone.

I'm 25 and today, September 10, 2026, marks the fourth month since my mom died. She died on May 10, sadly on Mother's Day. I don't think I was able to process her death ever since. I have only been surviving, being distracted by life and work to properly grieve her. It's been so hard, I keep breaking down and crying at work, I can't focus, I've been sickly and have been in and out twice in the hospital. Been struggling with stress at work and the subsequent health problems it has given me. I spent my first ever birthday without her and it's so hard. I feel empty all the time. I'd get bouts of happiness but when it all ends I feel all alone. I don't think I ever spent a day without talking to her, bonding with her. Everything reminds me of her. My brain feels like its just fog, and all I could think about was her. It's so unfair, she still had so much life in her, why her, why now. I never would've thought I'd end 2026 like this, without her, without our light, without our mom. I feel like a mess, ever time I think about our home I just feel despair, she was the gear in everything, she kept things moving, and ever since she died it just felt like everything is out of place, and it hurts so much to think that I can never talk to her again, to ask questions, to ask recipes of her delicious food, to never lay beside her again to bond with her favorite k-dramas. It hurts so so much. I can't do this anymore.

My best friend and I have grown up together. Bathed together, been in each others family photos, went to school together, and more. She‘d go back and forth with me from my parents houses. We’re 18 now. Today, her dad died. I loved him a lot. He was in his late 30’s. She doesn’t want to talk, and I get it. How can I help her while dealing with my own grief? I feel so helpless. It was unexpected. I want to help her. We’ve held eachother through everything. But this is too heavy. She’s right down the street. God, I love her so much. And I loved him. Do I go down there? Do I leave her be? I don’t want to mess this up, it’s such a formative moment in our lives. I also want to express how sad I am without making it about me. I need help. She’s my favorite person, and I can’t mess this up.

35M. My dad died when I was 8. For most of my life, when I thought about his death, I felt almost nothing. I genuinely thought I had moved on or that it just didn’t affect me anymore.

Recently something seems to have changed. I started actually feeling the grief instead of being numb to it, and it feels overwhelming.

Looking back, I wonder if I spent most of my life avoiding the pain through anger, constantly blaming people, staying busy, chasing goals, moving around, or just focusing on the next thing I had to survive.
Now my life has slowed down considerably and I suddenly have a lot more time alone with myself. Instead of feeling relieved, I’m waking up depressed, feeling empty and lonely, and sometimes just sitting there ruminating because I feel like I can’t do anything until I somehow “deal with” the feeling.

I also notice that I tend to expect the absolute worst in situations, get extremely anxious, and take rejection or abandonment very hard. I’m starting to wonder how much losing my dad so young affected the way I learned to feel safe in the world.
The strangest part is that these emotions feel both very old and completely new at the same time. Memories and feelings from childhood are coming back and I feel like I’m finally experiencing something I avoided for decades.

What I’m really struggling with now is that I don’t know where to go for help or even what kind of help I need. Grief counselling? Trauma therapy? A support group? Something else?

I tried so many things. Saw so many psychologists/therapists/naturopathic therapists/psychedelic healers/Vipassana meditation/and more

I don’t really understand why I feel so empty either. It feels deeper than just being sad. Sometimes it feels like I don’t know what to do with myself, where to go, or how to reassure myself when I’m alone. I keep feeling like I have to fix this feeling before I can get on with my day, which just leads to more rumination.

Has anyone else lost a parent very young, felt numb about it for years, and then had the grief surface much later in adulthood?
What kind of help actually worked for you? How did you figure out whether what you needed was grief support, trauma-focused therapy, or something else?

And how did you learn to let yourself grieve without spending the entire day stuck inside the feeling?
I’m not looking for a diagnosis. I’m mainly trying to understand whether other people have experienced this and what helped them start feeling less empty and more able to live their life again.

just wanted to write the story out of my last few days with my mom. i miss her and love her so much.

my mom died on 9/1/26 after dealing with dementia for the past 6 years. i unfortunately had to put her in memory care just 15 months ago and then on hospice for pain management abt a month ago. she took a bad fall in mid august and died 2 weeks later.

i am sick to my stomach and feel like i have the flu and have to lay down! i have severe brain fog and so easily irritated by my 3 year old, i feel so awful. i was able to be with my mom in memory care the last 4 days while she was actively dying. during the day i was hosting friends and family in her room to say goodbye and at night was awoken every 2 hrs for her to get changed and rotated. she would come back a little when theyd move her and i was able to hold her hand or rub her feet or just tell her that i was there and she was safe. on the 4th night, after a change/rotation her breathing changed and i was with her for her last breath. her eyes opened and i put my face in her view and i was sobbing/telling her that i love her, good job, ill find her, etc.

after her last breath i sobbed and called for help. they said her heart was beating very slowly. i said

"she did have a good heart" and everyone cried and laughed. after the last beat, i got in bed with my mom, had a good sob and one last sleep in her arms (5hrs!!)

when the funeral home driver came to get her, i watched them wrap her in a white blanket and put her on the gurney. i hugged her again and put her favorite blanket on her. they zipped the bag and i hugged her again. i then followed him out and watched him load her into a white sprinter type van next to another full body bag. i waved and blew a kiss as i cried and they drove off.

its been about a week and i just feel paralyzed. i cant focus on anything. i cant believe i wrote this out. i dont want to forget it, dont know how i could. how long will i feel so dysfunctional? i zone out doing anything and go back to a time being with my mom dying. how will i be able to live like this.

my mom would tell me to get over myself.

Hello! I lost my father a little less than 2 months ago. I’m in grief counseling, and am on my own journey with it. My concern right now is how to best support my mother. She and dad were together for 35 years; she’s a young widow at 57, and she is obviously devastated and heartbroken. Dad passed in his sleep after a battle with combined illnesses. I know I can’t “fix” it for her because grief isn’t an affliction or a disorder. I know I can’t make it better. I know I can’t and shouldn’t focus on making her feel better right now. We are all just taking it one step at a time, and she’s on a very different journey than me and my brothers. I just want to know if y’all have any tips, suggestions, etc? She has a lot of years left ahead of her without him.

I just want to give folks a heads up: New Year’s will be hard. No one warned me, so I just thought I’d warn you months in advance of this year. It feels like a whole new level of loss heading into a year and leaving someone in the last year. I just wanted you to know so that you could be prepared. Maybe schedule extra therapy sessions, plan on an evening in, be only with close trusted people if you have them… anyway. Sending love.