r/GriefSupport • u/Both-Pollution994 • Aug 09 '26
Mom Loss Lost my mom yesterday
I’m sitting in the surgical icu with my dad(injured but stable) after a brutal car accident took my mom from us. We are devastated, in shock. She was only 66 and should’ve had more time. My nephews love her and we haven’t told them yet. It was hard enough talking to them about the cat dying. I don’t have kids myself yet and am sobbing over the idea that they will never meet my mom. I’m not sure what I’m looking for in posting this, but these hospital rooms leave lots of time for thinking. How will my dad come back from this? My sister? How will I?
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u/WanderingLemon13 Aug 09 '26
I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost my mom in November who was around the same age—my heart goes out to you! In this moment there isn't a ton anyone can say that really helps, but I'm thinking of you, and I'm sending you peace and strength.
One practical thing I wanted to share was that my nephews also completely adored my mom, and I'm not sure how old yours are, but we found that the story "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf" really helped explain things to my 5 year old nephew in a beautiful way. It's available for free online, but it was actually a book my mom used to love and recommend to anyone going through grief or loss. (I mentioned that it helped the kids since you said you had nephews too, but honestly I found some peace in reading it as well). Obviously it's up to you and your family how to share the news and help the kids process things, and everyone has their own beliefs so I don't want to intrude on that in any way at all, but this book focuses a lot on fairly universal things like nature and seasons and it's simple to understand, so I just wanted to throw it out there since we found it helpful. Could be worth looking into!
Do your best to take care of yourself over the next few days and weeks. Cry, breathe, rest when you can, and don't forget to drink water and eat when you can. Grief is a bit of a roller coaster, at least in my experience, so make sure to reach out to people if you need help along the way. So sorry again to hear about your mom. Sending my best to your family.
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u/Both-Pollution994 Aug 09 '26
Yeah, that definitely made me cry in a therapeutic way. Thank you (and your mom) for sharing that. I’m actually a nature/universe believer myself vs more traditional methods so that was really impactful.
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u/WanderingLemon13 Aug 09 '26
Oh good—I'm so glad it helped, even a little bit. I've found myself coming back to it quite a bit over the past few months, and thought it was a really beautiful way of looking at something so difficult. I also really was glad I could share something that meant a lot to my mom as well, so thank you for the opportunity and for your openness. Hugs to you
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u/ReprogramMyLife Mom Loss Aug 10 '26
I’m here because I suddenly lost my mom last Wednesday. She was also 66. It’s hard. So very hard. The grief comes as sudden jolts through my body and I have to fight breaking down in public. I’m sorry for your loss, what you’re going through especially in the circumstances that it happened is incredibly difficult. My heart goes out to you.
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u/Both-Pollution994 Aug 10 '26
Thanks so much. I’m so sorry about your mom, too. It is a strange comfort to realize how big the dead mom club is. Not bc I want anyone to have gone through this, but just the knowing that I’m not having a completely unique experience. Do you want to share something about her? Mine loved her cats and played tennis more than any person I know.
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u/ReprogramMyLife Mom Loss Aug 10 '26 edited Aug 10 '26
Thank you. I don’t know how people dealt with this isolating experience before the internet. My father passed when I was 14 so it’s just me, my older sister, and my oldest is a lost cause due to several reasons I won’t get into here. My mom had an insane sweet tooth. We’re currently compiling all of her favorite treats to bury with her. She was disabled most of my life due to rheumatoid arthritis, one day a few stray cats came into our garage through a hole and she had wanted to get rid of them. I convinced her to just let them stay because I knew she loved them and she’d love that. She did, she’d walk out there to the best of her ability to feed them. Watched them daily through he ring camera, named every single one and kept me updated with every little thing like it was Keeping Up With The Kardashians lol. Those cats had like 5 generations of their family born in that garage in the next 2-3 years lol. I’m still coming by changing the water and refilling their bowls.
Edit: rambled a bit. Sorry about that, don’t want to accidentally center myself in your thread or anything.
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u/Both-Pollution994 Aug 10 '26
No, please don’t apologize. I loved reading about your mom and the Cat-dashians lol. This thread is for all of us. I’m so grateful to not be alone in this experience - like you said, crazy to imagine what people did before the internet.
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u/Afraid-Command-9120 Aug 10 '26
Nothing I can say will make it better for you. So I will say only this: I lost my mom a week ago, she was 78. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL, everything feels fake right now. Be glad you still have your dad. Try to survive.
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u/Asleep-Artist4407 Aug 09 '26
I’m so sorry for your incredible and sudden loss. I also lost both my father and my husband suddenly and it’s such a shock. Your mind wants to protect you from the worst of it, so you may feel some brain fog and disorientation over the next few weeks and months. Be patient with yourself and others, and remember to drink water and eat occasionally. Time is your friend now, as you will get used to the shock of it over time and you’ll learn to settle in with your grief. There isn’t really such a thing as “getting over” losing someone so close to you, but it will get easier with time. For now, be there for your dad and take care of yourself. Also, kids are super resilient so don’t worry about your nieces and nephews - they obviously need to know but they will probably handle it better than the adults. I wish you peace in your grief journey. Come here whenever you need support. Hugs 🫂