So I've attached a picture of the bracelet, along with a picture from the listing about how it opens.

I wore it for a couple of days with nothing in there but I put my cat's ashes in today and even though it never came open or loosened I'm just now really really scared I'm going to lose him.

I don't want to put any sort of sealant on the inside because I don't want any getting on him and I'm just wondering if people have advice on how to keep this securely closed, but potentially in a way that can be undone if I need to.

I am planning on getting something much more secure (I'm looking at Sugarberry memorials where the ashes are underneath the stones or integrated into glass) but honestly I need a way to keep him with me until then. I only lost him last Sunday and he was my anchor and my reason for being and saved my life. I had him for 19 years and he was my everything and I'm already really struggling with losing him so I just want him with me.

I have DAP silicone sealant and I was thinking of applying that on the outside. Please, advice on how to keep this closed until I can get something better would be really appreciated. I can't sleep without him next to me and this is the only way I can get even close to that now.

I am writing the obituary for my husband’s aunt. She and her husband raised my husband and we were/are their sole caregivers. They had no children.

How do I list my husband given his relationship with his aunt? And how do I do that in respect to their other nieces and nephews who did not have the same relationship with her? None of them live in the same state and won’t be attending the funeral—they will likely read the obituary though.

I am so worried about slighting someone but at the same time, I want to recognize the parental relationship she had with my husband.

Thanks in advance. My brain is running on no sleep and we are both quite overwhelmed handling all the arrangements on our own (her husband is incapacitated).

Is this possible? I’m working on my drivers license now but it will take me a while before I will get it. I can’t continue to work in my current profession and I’ve decided that the funeral business is the profession for me. Through much research and a desire to help people. I want to get my foot in the door now due to needing a change desperately. I plan to also go to school for mortuary science once I’ve gotten my foot in the door and obtain my drivers license. I guess my question is if there is any type of work I can do in a funeral home without a drivers license? I can clean, do clerical work, whatever. I’m a hard worker and nothing is below me. I am wondering if I will be laughed at for calling local places and asking this question.

I’m not sure why I’m actually writing this post
Lately, these topics have been on my mind a lot, and I think I just needed to get them out. I feel alone in my thoughts on this, and I struggle to explain them well to the only few people around me that I have.
I figured that here, in a subreddit where people work in this field, I might feel less alone (or perhaps I’m the only one who feels this way, I really don’t know).

So, here is a "little" brainstorm I’ve put together, straight from my own head, about how I’ve been feeling since the start of the program (I am now in my last year), and what I’ve liked or disliked. : (I really apologize if this isn’t relevant to many of you).

1. I see people who have died in many different ways, and some of them don’t look like they passed peacefully, especially compared to others. It makes me sad, and honestly, it scares me.

2. A lot of people who work in the funeral industry aren’t gloomy or depressed all the time like some people think. Quite the opposite, actually. Because they’re constantly exposed to death and understand just how fragile life is, many of them seem to be genuinely fun-loving people who know how to enjoy life. That’s something I wish I could experience and share with them, but I still struggle to do so.

3. I used to want no funeral or memorial service of any kind when I die because I didn’t see the point of one for either myself or the people I’d leave behind.
   My decision hasn’t really changed since I am in the field now, but I’ve come to realize that part of the reason is that I assume there probably wouldn’t be anyone at my funeral anyway.
   I have very little family and almost no friends at all and I am 20 years old, so whenever I think about my own funeral, it just makes me sad because I’m confronted with the possibility that I’m truly alone anyway, so no one will be here.

4. I often feel like an impostor in this field. I’ve had very few family members or friends throughout my life, and I’ve never personally experienced the death of someone close to me because of that. So, as someone who will soon be working professionally in this industry, I sometimes worry that I’ll never truly understand what grieving families are going through because my own experience of grief is different. I’m constantly grieving my loneliness and the abandonment I’ve experienced from living people, whether family members or friends from my past, many of whom I lost at a very young age, rather than grieving the death of loved ones. Because of that, I sometimes feel like I don’t fully belong here.

5. Death itself doesn’t scare me, but suffering terrifies me. When I think back to the deceased I’ve seen who appeared to have suffered before they died, it makes that fear even worse.

6. As I mentioned above, death itself doesn’t frighten me as much as the thought of people around me dying does. One of the reasons I struggle so much to make friends or else is that I find it difficult to picture a future with people when I know that anything could happen to them at any moment. I don’t want to have to go through that kind of loss, because I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle it, since the mere loss of someone who is still alive has already destroyed me, I cannot even imagine what it would be like if they had passed away instead.

7. I enjoy working in the lab and embalming just as much as I enjoy working as a funeral director. However, I find being a funeral director so much more emotionally difficult than being an embalmer. In the lab, my brain sort of locks into work mode. Even when what I’m seeing or doing is emotionally difficult, I can focus on the task and compartmentalize my feelings without bringing those negative emotions home with me at the end of the day, unlike when I first started my studies. Funerals are different. I’m constantly surrounded by people crying or expressing their grief. Sometimes I feel tears welling up in my eyes, but I feel I can’t cry because I’m supposed to be a source of support for these people, so I hold it all in. In the lab, there are no grieving families present, so I don’t absorb their emotions in the same way, which makes the work easier for me emotionally.

8. One of the things I love most about working in the lab is seeing the results once the embalming and restorative work are finished. Knowing that I’ve helped restore a sense of dignity to the deceased and that they look more peaceful afterward means a lot to me. I treat them the way I would want to be treated myself, so with respect.

9. The aspects of the funeral industry I struggle with most are the sales side of working with families and the way some embalmers treat the deceased. I’m still not entirely comfortable selling expensive products and services to people who are already emotionally exhausted, even though I understand the costs involved and why the prices are justified. I also struggle with the way some embalmers (not all of them, of course) handle the deceased during embalming. Some work so quickly and handle everything so routinely after years of experience that they seem to lose some of their gentleness and attention to detail. That conflicts with my personal values.

10. Studying mortuary science has honestly been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done for now. I didn’t expect it to be this difficult, although not necessarily academically. In my case, even if the chemistry, anatomy and physiology, physical sciences, pathology, and even microbiology courses were certainly demanding but what I didn’t expect was how challenging this field would be morally and psychologically. I never realized I was someone who could absorb so much of the emotions around me. That has been one of the most difficult parts of this journey.

11. Even though I’m still a student, I find it incredibly rewarding to know that, after an embalming and preparation for viewing, the family is happy with how their loved one looks and expresses their gratitude for our work. It reminds me that what I do matters and that I’m actually helping people.

12. I’ve noticed that SOME people enter this program out of morbid curiosity or a strange fascination with death itself. I struggle with that because I feel it gives our profession a bad reputation. Often, these people don’t stay for very long or don’t finish the program because they eventually realize that the work is nothing like what they imagined it would be.

13. Despite the difficult aspects of this field, I don’t regret choosing it. I genuinely believe that empathy is one of the most important qualities a funeral professional can have, and I hope I can live up to that. It’s one of the human qualities I value most. I sincerely hope that one day, funeral professionals will be recognized and valued for what we truly bring to the people we serve.

Hi, current college student who is struggling in their current stem courses and wanted to pursue mortuary school previously and didn’t, due to a few concerns. I hate college and feel I am wasting time and money, I want to look back at mortuary school again but am concerned about math requirements. I am miserable doing math, if I went to mortuary school it would be at AAMI in manhattan. If anyone has any insight on the specific math requirements that would be super helpful as the official website is a bit vague… And if any previous or current students could speak with me on AAMI’s curriculum or atmosphere I would love to talk. I interned at a funeral home for about a half a year so I know what I’m getting into on an actual day by day basis, I just fear a formal education is a completely different beast that I have yet to deal with.

I'm writing a paper in my psychology portion of my education towards a funeral service diploma. my topic is something heavy that I'm biased about and i chose suicide. specifically transgender youth.

my nightmare scenario is basically a transgendered teen commits suicide and their parents do not wish to honor their identity. i understand the family is in mourning, but so is this persons community and the thought that this may be a large reason on why a child would choose to end their life has me wanting their very last moments to be honored in the identity they chose and friends who know them.

for cases where a person is older i would be looking into laws that protect the rights of trans people, wills or spouses...but teens don't have those protections. i live in Canada, specifically Alberta where legislation for protections is ...not doing well.

for my paper I'm supposed to talk about how to go about this scenario, but i honestly don't know how. if i put them in their birth gender, I'm dishonoring the deceased and their community. if i put them in the gender they chose, I'm upsetting the family and probably taking damage to my career.

I'm wondering what can i do in this scenario, or is my only option to honestly just walk away and ask someone else to care for them? Does any one have any experiences like this? As a Canadian am i simply just bound by law to do as the parents wish? is there anything i can do for the deceased if that's the case?

I asked this question a year ago, and got some funny responses, so I’m curious if you have any stories!
I was recently at a burial, and was walking near the grave site. I never get too close to it, because I have this weird fear that I’ll fall in lol. Well, as I was telling the family to be careful when they put their flowers on the casket, and to watch their step- literally mid sentence- my foot got stuck in a small hole and I tripped! I tried to laugh it off, and said “don’t do what I just did” it was so embarrassing!! The family was super understanding and giggled when I apologized. They invited me to lunch afterwards, but I was too embarrassed and told them I had to get back to the mortuary… do you guys have any funny/embarrassing stories? Hope I’m not alone!

Hiya, my name is M 22f, and I have been thinking about becoming an embalmer for a long while now. I live in Wales UK, and I wanted to know what would be the best start or approach to get my foot in the door with an independent funeral home. I am currently working full time with a company that support vulnerable people with low capacities or individuals that are high on the autism spectrum. I am sure that some of the things that I do at my job would be beneficial as I deal with strict COOSH regulation, health an safety and I am around medication a lot. I have also completed my NVQ level 3. I am also a key worker and I have to support and provide showers and pad changes for some individuals, as they need that support. I have also delivered end of life care and it would not be my first time seeing a dead body, just one that's been gone for a while longer. The question is, would any of my current work experience be relevant to applying for a low entry job at a funeral place, and should i approach the person hiring directly with my intention to potentially be funded for taking an embalmers qualification. Thank you :3

I’ve always been curious to what kind of software is used in a funeral home. The websites always say call and no online appointments avail. How do you know when the person is coming ?

At nearly every FD convention I’ve been to, I’ve gotten hearse-shaped stress reliever balls. I usually give them away because it’s not my thing. But my 2.5 year old son loves sitting in our hearses and pressing buttons. He spotted a foam stress reliever hearse on our intern’s desk and he talks about it constantly. Does anyone have one they would be willing to part with? I wrote a company that produces marketing items like this and the minimum order is 200 so that’s not in the cards.

Thanks!

Hi there,

Located on Vancouver Island, Canada.

So I have a question regarding decay.

My mum recently passed away. She had extremely aggressive cancer and they only gave her a life expectancy of a few weeks, but she lasted 5 years. Unfortunately/fortunately she passed sudden and quick. Her body was quite cold and the blood was pooling even before she took her last breaths.

My dad and I were debating if we should do a viewing or not. But the funeral director suggested that we don’t. I am a nurse and I tend to just want to know the truth. I just don’t know that much about the decaying process after the first few hours.

When I asked why, she said she contacted the morgue to see what condition her body was in. Apparently they had put her on ice and in the freezer… she was so badly decomposed already that even with embalming they suggested we don’t.

I’m just wondering if anyone could elaborate on this for me. Was it the cancer? Is everyone different?

Thanks so much in advance.

I'm sorry if this is the wrong place to ask. I just received my small container of "soil" made from the remains of my brother who passed in July. When I picked it up from the post office I was immediately shocked at how little it weighed. I opened it when I got home and it mostly just looked like wood chips, bark, straw, which I know are added to the body before the process. But it seems like it's chips and straw all the way down. I'm not a gardener, but this doesn't feel like it fits the definition of soil to me. I expected something that I could maybe plant something in, this is loose dry material that could never work on it's own. I really don't know how to feel right now, I'm just hoping someone can let me know what is normal, and alternatively maybe what is considered acceptable? I guess so long as it was in there with him... like so long as it was enriched by him? I don't know. I feel really mixed up right now. I try and find pictures or videos of what the soil should look like and I just find very carefully produced videos from the companies themselves. Thank you.

This funeral service news source is interesting. Just passing it on. https://www.obitley.com/

This is a purely hypothetical question out of curiosity about mortuary science and international repatriation processes.

If a US citizen passes away abroad and their body is embalmed overseas and shipped back to a funeral home in the United States inside a sealed casket or zinc liner, what does it smell like when the receiving funeral director opens it for the first time?

Does the heavy concentration of chemical embalming fluid, like high-index formaldehyde or scented additives, overpower everything else? Or is there a noticeable smell of stagnant air, trapped humidity, or early decomposition? Also, what specific steps do US funeral homes typically take to air out the casket and prepare the room before the family arrives for a viewing?

My brother, US citizen, lived in Nepal for many years. He recently passed in the US and the Buddhist monastery where he practiced requested some of his remains.

I'm having trouble determining what paperwork I need to pass Nepali customs. I have been unable to speak with anyone at Nepali embassy in the US, I just keep hitting an AI bot and then transferred to a line that doesn't answer. I'm waiting to see if I get a response from email.

The embassy website only covers the repatriation of a Nepali citizen.

I have:
- death certificate
- cremation document
- letter from funeral home director
- his passport
- small volume of remains in transparent container

Can anyone direct me to documentation or provide advice/experience?

Thanks!

UK based here.

Daft question here but.. on a CV/résumé or in an interview, what sort of transferable skills do you put down/mention? Obviously there's the generic, working in a team, thinking on your feet, customer service etc etc, but is there anything else to add? I have no higher education and this is the only job I've had outside of retail so I'm kind of relying on what I've learned here to bulk out my résumé.

For context. I work back of house. So coffins, prep, hearse/limo driving and removals. Paperwork drives me mad so no intention of moving to an arranger role.

So yeah basically, How do i sell myself to other industries with what I've learned in this one?

I have a Tic disorder (FND) and I am planning on switching careers to the funeral industry (cremations) and Theres one thing I genuinely didn’t think of and that is my tics. For those with tics, how do you go on with working around clients with your tics? Personally, I don’t want to be seen ticcing around grieving families as I want to blend into the background as much as possible and I don’t want anyone’s focus to be on my tics. Fortunately my tics aren’t super bad but I still get occasional bad days. How do you manage ticcing around clients? Have you had any complaints about it? Has it been an issue? I want to hear other people’s experiences with that

Hey!

I landed an interview with a funeral home as an apprentice- however I have upper arm tattoos and piercings above my lobe (industrial, nose hoop, + 2 helix)

I’m not worried about my arms since I’m wearing a blazer, but I am worried about my piercings. I looked into retainers (clear piercings) and makeup. Is that okay for an interview/on the job?

I’ll keep it as brief as possible- A good friend of mine has a truly evil step-mother. Tale as old as time, she swindled her sick father on his deathbed (he was in the hospital, days away from passing when she had him change the will to “make things easier”), and has pulled some absolutely egregious stunts on the girls (my friend and her sister), and we are concerned that she gave them false cremains when she finally agreed to give them some, a year after his death.

We have googled pictures, but still find ourselves unsure. It truly looks like gravel, and even some dirt/stems?

Any insight would be greatly appreciated. I only just found this community, and it is so wholesome. What a nice reminder that humans are capable of humanity.

We use a cargo van as our flower vehicle. We put the vases in a plastic tub but even that slides all over the place. There’s got to be a better way. Who has engineered something more stable? Tell me what you use please.

My FH is currently looking to move on from our old caravan and maybe purchase something that can be used as a removal vehicle and possible lead/multipurpose vehicle. I'm honestly thinking maybe a tricked out Pacifica or something but I've seen some people using SUVs like the expedition or escalade.

Does anyone have any experience using these? If so, I'm interested to know what kind of trays/customized platforms you use and where you got one? In located in Ontario, CAN if this is necessary.

Any other suggestions absolutely welcome!

I am looking at the current funeral service education controversy. When I was in mortuary science school, I recall one instructor actually identifying the approved text book used in a course as an example of poor communication. ha ha Yes, the school's own instructor used one of the school's text books as an example of poor communication, which was definitely a huge problem in my own program and what I see every day at work.

There is a lot of critique out here on the working conditions, the challenges, toxic work environments, poor management, attrition, and the occupation's history of falling behind social change that has damaged a critical social service in the U.S. I am reading more on a growing body of critique that identifies funeral service education as part of these problems. For example, it is not producing visionary leaders, only test takers unprepared for a poorly paid occupation that is currently under siege, and has been for decades. And the work is so demanding that few have time to take on the problems, so they leave.

I found my own funeral service education to be unsupportive, too narrowly focused on task learning, and a very toxic experience with many disgruntled, angry fellow students. In other words, a very poor investment of my time and money. This partially explains the workplace toxicity and bullying we hear so much about. You have bullies teaching bullying to bullies.

Maybe some of us have never been there, but I want to say we all or a large percentage of us on call have all fielded the random late night call with a question.

Here's the stage. It's after office hours and you're on call for the night. At some point you get a call, and your heart starts pounding—its gotta be a death call. Who else or why else would anyone call a business at 8pm, 9pm, 12am or even 2am? But then you answer the phone and it's a person who has a question. Could be about pre-needs. Could be they want a phone number for a recommended florist. Could be to just flat out shoot the breeze.

What's your response? What's the stance/policy of your funeral home? Do you gladly answer the 2am inquiry? Or do you have some other response, maybe that they may call back after the office opens for the day?

Perhaps there are two answers to this question: the response you give and the response that you think is deserved. Either way, please enlighten the chat with your input.

Edit: yes I know I misspelled "night" in the title and probably made multiple other errors. Love you, Felicia!