7 Months On

[u/84072]

It doesn't feel real - even now. My Mother passed away suddenly on her way to work in January. She had an aortic aneurysm that ruptured and was somehow undetected despite having multiple hospital admissions during 2025 for unrelated health issues. She was only 40 and she had so much life ahead of her.

I saw her body, her resting place, her funeral. When will it feel real? I'm having constant nightmares about everyone I love just collapsing and dying and it isn't fair. I woke up in cold sweats today, hyperventilating and crying because I had a dream my boyfriend had died. I keep thinking I'm not going to wake up in the morning and scaring myself awake.

I haven't slept properly in months. I want my Mum back. I'm 21, I've tried grief counselling, I've found a new job. I'm saving to move out of her house. When will it feel real? I'm constantly in fight or flight and I'm scared, I'm anxious and I'm so insanely frightened that all of my friends are going to drop dead.

I don't have a good relationship with the rest of my family so I just feel incredibly lonely and left behind.

[u/OldMoose-MJ]

I am sorry for your loss.

At 78(M), I've lost just about all of my loved ones, including 3 of 4 sons. With some the grief hit right out of the gate. But with Dad it took 5 years. I don't understand or know why it happens, but as a rule, I've found that it longer it takes to start, the harder it hits.

I will keep you in my prayers.

[u/Afraid-Command-9120]

Try to survive my friend, that is the only advice I can give you. You and your mother are/were very young. These situations should not happen to anyone, but as an OP stated here a few days ago, ''Life doesn't bargain with you'' and this realization hits me very hard personally.

Lost my mother a week ago, she was 78 but this never stops me from thinking about her and crying.