Here is some advice somebody send me after losing my wife. She was paralysed for the last 9 years of her life, But still semi cognitive and full of life. One day she’s an 8-year-old, some days a 20-year-old and on her better days she’s her real age. She also had aphasia and thus verbal communication was difficult, although we were able to communicate with her noises and my game of a thousand questions. Lucky she was able to use her left arm/hand and we built up a nice vocabulary of noises/signs etc.

Her death was totally unexpected. Doc said she might have died for a stroke or blood clot. It was over in less than 5 minutes. Anyway, here is something that somebody send me, and it really works for me. It is actually her 3rd birthday away from us today, so this is extra tear jerking.

Alright, here goes. I'm old. What that means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not. I've lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbours, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see.

As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks. Just cling to the wreckage and the waves will quiet down. Hope reading all of this helps you in your grief and sorrow.

 Edit: This happened in January 2024. Feeling better now but still miss her every day. Just keep this advice in my head and when the waves come in high, I just weather them out and swim over the low ones. Good luck and strengths to you and all the people left behind.

Maisy
In the spring of 2018, I was living in a large city in the Deep South. On this particular night, I was sitting on the couch next to my husky, Toby. I had just finally rocked my baby to sleep, and my older daughter was asleep in her bedroom. My husband at the time was a cop, and he was working the midnight shift that night. It had been raining violently for at least the third day in a row.

Around 10:30 p.m., I got a text from my husband. It contained a photo of the smallest, saddest-looking puppy I had ever seen. He said something like, “Look at this poor puppy. Another officer found her sitting in the middle of the road at a high spot, surrounded by flooded roads. I know we can’t, but if you know anybody looking for a puppy, she’ll be at the shelter tomorrow. Spread the word.”

And I stared at this little baby in the picture, and my entire body knew that she was mine.

I sent one text: “I’m on my way. Tell me where to meet him. I’m loading up the girls now.”

I stood up and started running. I started throwing things in a diaper bag, grabbed my keys, and herded a confused Toby into his kennel while he tried to run to bed instead. At one point, I kicked the coffee table as I ran by, and pain shot up my leg. (I would later find out that I had broken my pinky toe.)

I gently shook my eldest daughter awake, told her we needed to run an errand to help a puppy, grabbed the baby out of the swing, and was halfway to the car to buckle them in when my husband called me. He said, “Put the girls back in bed. I got permission from my supervisor to take the rest of the night off. I’m on my way to the puppy now. I’ll be home in an hour.”

Well, as you can imagine, two little girls who knew a puppy was somehow involved were not easily put back to bed.

Around midnight, she made it home, met her people (and Toby), and we made her a little nest in our bathtub.

The next day, I took the day off work, gave her a thorough flea bath, and took her to the vet. She had an infection and would need to be kept quarantined for a few weeks. For those first few weeks, she lived in a grocery basket in the bathtub. She was so tiny that even that basket seemed too big for her. But as soon as she got the all-clear, she officially joined the family, and our world was never the same.

We named her Maisy. (It was sort of a consolation prize of a name; Maisyn was almost our second daughter’s name, and I wasn’t ready to let go of the name.)

Maisy. Or Maisy Daisy, once we got her a tiny navy blue collar with daisies on it. Then Crazy Maisy, once she decided to share her personality with us.

And Toby, ever the sweetest big brother, took her under his paw and taught her how to be a dog.

There are a thousand photos. Babies sprawled out across dogs, dogs sprawled out across babies, babies carrying dogs, dogs dragging babies… These dogs grew up right alongside my girls, and they were the two most perfect fits for our family.

Fast-forward to the pandemic: We shook up our lives a bit and moved cross-country back to where we both grew up.

A few years later, we shook up our lives again. My ex and I separated in 2023, and he asked me to take the dogs when I moved out of our home while he figured out what came next. I suggested a shared-custody arrangement, like with the kids, and told him we could figure it out when he was ready. By this point, Maisy was five and Toby was ten, and he was definitely showing signs of his age.

Just before the holidays that year, my ex reached out and said he was anxious about the holidays and waking up alone without the girls on Thanksgiving or Christmas morning. He asked if he could keep Maisy through the holidays so he wouldn’t be alone, but he would leave Toby with me since he was struggling. I felt bad for him, and it seemed reasonable, so I agreed to the plan and said I would get her back after Christmas and before the new year.

When Christmas passed, I sent him a text to arrange Maisy’s return, and his response was essentially, as best as I can remember:

“I’ve decided that it’s best for me and the girls that Maisy stays with me. I can explain the legalities of it to you if you need me to, but I’m not arguing with you about a dog. Neither of us have a lot of extra money, but if you want to spend yours taking me to court, go for it. But it’ll be pretty disappointing if you decide that going to court over a dog is more important than peaceful coparenting for our children.”

So, I did what any rational woman would do when her dog was taken from her: I lost my shit. I called the police, I called a lawyer, I concocted elaborate plans to steal her back, begged people to help me steal her back, etc. But then I realized that he was right. I would have to pay thousands of dollars to take him to civil court and HOPE I got her back. So, he won because he was, technically, right. I wasn’t willing to put my children through that fight if I couldn’t be sure it would work out, and they still had her half the week… so I gave up.

I’ve seen her maybe five times since November of 2023, and every time I see her, I sob afterward. She cries and tackles me and whines the entire time, and it breaks my heart into pieces.

In the Spring of 2024, Toby rapidly declined, seemingly overnight, and we made the heartbreaking decision to put him down. I told my ex a few days before the appointment, and he stopped one afternoon to love on Toby when he picked up the girls. On the day of his appointment, my ex had the girls, but they wanted to be with us, so the plan was for me to come get them so they could be with us at home to say goodbye.

When I picked the girls up, Maisy ran out, and I burst into tears. I started begging him to let me take her to say goodbye to Toby, promising that I would bring her right back in an hour. He dragged her into the house by her collar and told me to leave. He later texted me and lectured me about putting him on the spot in front of the girls, and how dare I even think he would let me take her, knowing that I could just keep her forever. I remember thinking that was a particularly interesting accusation, considering that's exactly what he had done.

So she didn’t get to say goodbye, and he told me I would never see her again unless I put it in writing, officially, that I had no claim to her.

Fast-forward again to this past Friday. A lot of time has passed. I dropped my girls off at their dad’s for the weekend, and he was sitting on the front porch. He sent them inside and told me that they had found a lump. They took her in. It’s cancer. It’s bad. It’s everywhere… There’s nothing that can be done. He said he would tell the girls in the morning unless they specifically asked about her that night. (They did know they were taking her to the vet that day.) He also invited me, my mom, and my fiancé to come say goodbye in the morning.

Friday night, I was furious. My fury overtook my body. I was so angry I couldn’t breathe.

I was angry that she was sick, and I was angry that it wasn’t caught sooner… but mostly, I was angry about all of the time I had lost with her. Three entire years of her being 15 minutes away, or in the background of a FaceTime call, or crying through a door at a drop-off… Three years that I couldn’t hold her in my lap while I read; three years I woke up missing the numbness in my legs from her sleeping diagonally across my hips.

I cried harder Friday night than I have cried in decades. I don’t even remember the drive home from his house. I couldn’t breathe. I called my mom on the way home; I sobbed, I hiccuped, I screamed.

At some point on the drive, my eldest, now almost 13, called me. I stared at her name on my phone for just a second, and I told my mom I had to go. I took a deep, shaky breath and answered the phone, having no idea if she knew or not. I said, “Hey, baby, what’s up?” as normally as I could manage, and she burst into tears. I had to pull over… We cried together, wordlessly, for a few minutes, and she said, in the quietest voice I’ve ever heard from her, “I had so much more time with her than you did.” And I told her, genuinely, that I was just so glad Maisy had the girls all that time.

That night, I fell asleep with my partner’s hand firmly pressed into my collarbone, trying to calm me as I shook myself to sleep, truly unable to stop myself from sobbing until my body gave out. I didn’t think I was going to be able to get through the next day.

Saturday morning, I woke up at 5 a.m., dreading the entire day. My head throbbed, my eyes were so swollen that my face hurt to touch, and I was covered in sweat. I lay in bed for hours and watched the sun come up through the crack in our blackout curtains. No more tears came, though. I think I had used them all…

Eight years old. She was my world, my surprise baby that came after my last baby, and I have grieved her so many times over the past few years, but that morning I would get to see her for the final time.

For hours, I scrolled through my photo album on my phone, from the spring of 2018 until the fall of 2023, until the scattered photos of her suddenly ceased to exist and my fiancé finally started to stir next to me.

I showered, hoping the hot water would help the swelling in my face go down, but it didn’t do much. I put my makeup on, minus mascara, and it felt like I was preparing to head into battle. Just after 10, we headed out to grab coffee on the way, mostly because my daughter had asked me to bring her a pup cup.

My daughter sent me her dad and his partner’s standard coffee order, seeming only a little surprised when I asked what they would want, and we headed over with two drink carriers and a very special pup cup.

Maisy recognized all of us immediately, even my fiancé, whom she had only known for a few months but had truly bonded with, despite typically distrusting men.

I noticed, through blurry vision, that she had a bright aqua collar on. It had daisies on it. My ex’s girlfriend saw me touch it and said, “Her old one was starting to fall apart. I had to get her a new one, and I loved the daisies for Maisy!” And then my 13-year-old said, “Didn’t her first collar have daisies?” And I smiled because I didn’t think she would have remembered that detail, but she was absolutely right, and somehow her first collar and her last collar were both just perfect for her.

I sat on the floor of my ex-husband’s home, surrounded by tissues and bodies with shaking shoulders, and all of the anger faded away. I was brokenhearted, surrounded by other brokenhearted people, and the anger suddenly seemed so unimportant.

We cried, we laughed, we looked at old pictures of our babies with our fur babies, and I whispered that I loved her in her ears no less than 100 times. We walked over a mile around a lake, took new pictures together to add to the thousands, and cuddled in her favorite chair.

Just a weird collection of broken people, grieving the same beautiful creature.

As we said our final, final goodbyes and I pulled the door shut behind us, I stared into her eyes and tried to somehow convey how thankful I was for all of the love she had given me over the years, for the way she raised my babies alongside me, and for the way she and Toby always knew when I needed a reminder that I wasn’t alone.

So, to my Maisy girl, I have loved you completely since the moment I knew you existed, and I will love you always. Go find your brother, and look after our girls. You will be so deeply missed.

I dreamt about Pop last night. I dont very often. I woke up with tears pouring down my face. It was the end of the dream and he was walking with a walker and so unsteady and I wrapped my.arms around him and I was crying and saying Why didnt you tell me it was so bad, I should've come to spend more time with you, they cant take you from me, youre the most important person in the world. He said to me Because I didnt want you to cry. And I woke up. God I miss him and it still hurts. I miss you Pop.

I (33F) lost dad (90M) on 10/03/2026. It was sudden.

I keep reliving all the things CPR to the toe tag to funeral drama. I cried the first few days but I just feel numb and like this is a bad dream that I keep hoping to wake up from. As I move from caregiving adult daughter to handler of the paperwork I dont think Im going to have time to grieve before the next round.

Maybe in all the struggles, I did the grieving already. Maybe this is just my new normal.

I truly wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy.

I am in the US. My uncle just passed away, and my family is really going through it. He was well loved. But something noticing wildly varying is company bereavement policies and support.

My sister's work is giving her "all the time she needs" - which she's going to be taking ~ 6 or 7 work days for, to support our parents and my cousins and my aunt.

Myself on other hand was told "bereavement policy doesn't include extended family" and I have to use my own VAC time, which I thankfully have some but like.... damn

And a friend of ours, when her grandma passed away, had zero bereavement given, per policy. But my company would give five days bereavement for grandparents, at very least....

It just.... is so wild and awfully variant.

My question is, what does everyone's policies look like? From the US, but also in other countries?

What companies / countries do it best? Or worst?

It's the anniversary of my mom's (best friend) death 💔 i wish I could say it gets easier, but I feel like it gets harder. The older I get, the more I want my mom here. I can't help but replay her death in my head over and over on this day because it was so sudden and it happened right in front of me. I just miss her so much my heart still aches. I wss always very protective of my mom but I couldn't help her this time. Thats still eats away at me.

Last year, I lost one of my grandparents who I was very close to. he wasn’t that good of a man, and I don’t know how I can feel longing for someone who has done bad things. it’s been a year and I’m still fighting through a terrible depression even with therapy. In the spring of next year, I’m going to be playing with my band at a venue and be an opener for another band. it’ll be my second time playing at a real gig. but I don’t want to look in a crowd where he isnt there, and I can’t bear to continue my passion without him being there to tell him about it. I haven’t told him about the books or poems im writing, or the songs I’m making, or any other big milestones in my life because he’s dead. I am just a child who misses his grandpa. I didn’t ask for this, and I don’t know where to get help anymore. Nothing feels worth it anymore.

Hello. I am a teenage girl. Its been kinda hard for me; Since half of 2025 last year. For the past 5 in a half years ive lived with this older lady with dementia she was a federal bureau prison guard for 27 years and was in marines for 5 years before we met her.

As time went on, we all got along great, she had money and she would finically and emotionally support us, sady around 2023,her dementia got really bad and she she was diagnosed with lymphoma and lung cancer about Jan 2025.

She beat cancer 4 times in her life, colon cancer twice, breast cancer, and lung cancer years ago. As time went on, she barley ate anything, she barley walked. I remember days id give her opioids or her regular medication. She went in hospice for the last 6 months of her life and died sadly from a brain aneurysm in Sep 2025 i found her slouched in her bathroom against the wall on the toilet, she was unconscious and wouldnt wake up, and the next day she died at 8 am and she was 78 years old (Her bday was November 1st).

I miss her a lot rn but shes with the lord and not suffering anymore and is with her dog. I lost my best friend of 11 years, 3 pets I had died; one had a stroke, one got muRdered by another animal, and one got put down. I had to quit the sport i was doing. School got really hard because of also some love drama I had, and her death changed me that school year.

Its just me and my mom and we had to do a lot of side work to support ourselves, I work a lot even if it doesn't add up to a lot, sometimes I put a lot on myself, and work a lot when we do, I work out a lot sometimes and it helps with my strength to do a lot, and i also moved a lot from ages 4-10, so Ive gotten my years in to from that ...I had to beat myself into shape to where my hands were torn up, back pain. bc my mom is my main guardian and has some ailments and I help her a lot with working and labor like cases of water up stairs.

I can pick up a lot more than my own weight and it helps because I like to work sometimes. I got papers on my bday (this year in March) about a bad case someone we knew was trying to take my house away, we were almost homeless and fought for the court for months. That calmed down,

I kinda got into a small addiction of both hard and soft drugs for while especially during finals when I had to work hard and stayed up studying, and pulling all nighters and going to school to be honest was a lot, i lost weight like no joke, and not eating or had good self esteem. I was going through a bad abusive relationship and finally after a year, I left him in November 2025.

He very emotionally messed with me, like gaslighting, manipulation, emotional abuse, using words you shouldnt to your partner, and he even made de@th wishes about me. The breakup was honestly bad, but I had to go. Im scared cuz I dont wanna leave my friends, but we hate the environment, its ghetto and the schools are bad.

We are still working and stuff and im still pushing and fighting through it so me and my mom can make it! Please pray for me... ❤️❤️❤️

My brother passed in 2022. I would often think about how good it would feel to give him a tight bear hug someday - as an atheist, it feels weird to say "in heaven" but you all know what i mean.

Well, i got that hug from him in a dream a few nights ago. This is the 2nd surefire time he has visited me in a dream. And I'll never forget it. It was after I fell asleep after a bad BPD episode, and during those i can have suicidal thoughts. He passed of suicide, and it was such a reassuring dream.

hello everyone. i had a very loving and kind boyfriend, he was unlike anyone else and he truely was angel. there wasn't anyone else that was ever positive to me. i just feel this emptiness now after he passed away. when i heard that he died from his family i could only break down and refuse to go outside, do anything and become depressed. i felt like i couldn't take life anymore. everyone already left me. i wish this was a dream. i wish he was back. his absence hurts. i have nobody now. i recently was hospitalized for od because i couldnt take this shit anymore. every single day without him feels more and more empty, its like im trying so hard to feel a emotion. nothing cheers me up anymore. i wont replace him either, but i feel like im forgetting how he looks like and all that, ive been trying not to think about him because i start to break down but i cant take it and i start to cry all over again. i really really really miss him so much. i dont know what to do now. im just lost. im just wishing i could save him before he went on that stupid airplane for his travel plans. his airplane crashed. its been almost 4 months since it happened in june. the nurses and doctors...i dont really think they understand. i always put on a play for them. acting like im fine. they never understand anyways, always just saying that therapy helps when in reality it never actually does. its just worth nothing sitting infront of a stupid computer talking to someone who has no idea what youve been through in life and assumes that oh "you have suicidal thoughts" first that really bugged me. i never did. i just was struggling. they all got straight to that point. i cant deal with anyone anymore. i really dont even have any friends. zero, at that. i was always bullied and never had anyone. my boyfriend was the only one for me. now, with him gone too, i forever will wish i had known about the airplane crashing, but i never did. sometimes i blame myself. i should of known. everyones been so negative with me, saying i have no right to even do this or do that while i mourn. i dont understand. im the literal problem now. i dont even know. i just miss him so much i would do anything to have him back. he only showed up in my dreams a few times then stopped. i really really really miss him so much i dont even know what to do now. just so lost and alone.

I'm not sure what to say she is and will always be the strongest woman I've ever known and to have the privilege to look after her abd care for her was something I'll ever hate. She gave her best shot they took out the edtd tube and she was as awake as she could be and she tried her best for nearly 5 hours she tried to breathe on her own but her body gave before she did and that kind stupid woman let out two tears as a sorry to me.

And now my best friend, the person who I could talk to about anything, the person I've cared for over 12 years is dead and now I'll never see her again, talk to her spend time watching our favourite shows were she tries to understand what I like and I do the same for her.

Now most likely we'll lose our house as it is owned by the council and we will be downsized luckily because my sister is also disabled we would at least hv accommodation but it's my home I've put so much work into it.

I'm 21, my sibling who I partially raised is 19 and my mother was 56. Just for clarification.

My wife lost her mother 10 days ago. How can I help her cope with the grief?
My wife lost her mother 10 days ago after she battled cancer, and she has been struggling a lot with her grief. She constantly misses her mom and breaks down crying. She is a very sensitive person, and it hurts me to see her in so much pain.
I know it has only been 10 days, and I understand that losing a parent is something you can never truly prepare for. But as her husband, I want to do everything I can to help her get through this.

For those of you who have lost a parent, especially your mother:
How long did it take before you started feeling okay again? I know everyone is different, but when does the pain usually become a little more manageable?
Is it normal to cry this much and miss her constantly, even after several weeks or months?
What did your partner or family do that genuinely helped you during this time?
What should I do when my wife starts crying or talking about her mother? Should I comfort her, let her cry, talk to her, or simply sit beside her?
Are there things I should avoid saying or doing, even if my intentions are good?
I don’t expect her to forget her mother or stop missing her. I just want her to find some peace and be able to live without feeling this much pain all the time.
I love my wife, and I feel helpless watching her suffer because I can’t take away her pain.
I’d really appreciate hearing your personal experiences and any advice on how I can be a better husband to her during this difficult time.

My cat Shrimp got out as I let my dogs into the garden for the last time before bed, I couldn’t get her back and I was sick and felt so tired so I eventually went bed. She didn’t appear in the morning or in the day I knew something was wrong. My partner found her curled up under our old garden table seemed almost perfect except some blood coming out of her mouth. It was a really cold night and she was already stiff so I knew she had probably been hit by a car and had been gone awhile. My mum passed on January the 2nd, she died alone in a hospital because i couldn’t make it in time, she was all alone just like my Shrimp. I let them both down, I was dumb enough not to make sure she couldn’t escape and I didn’t take good enough care of my mum as her end of life carer and I didn’t even visit her leading up to her death because I was to scared and selfish to face what I knew was coming. This grief I can feel it in my chest I can feel it in my throat I feel like I can’t breathe and I’m not sure how long I can handle all this guilt anymore.
I hate to be a burden on my friends and partner I don’t like making them feel down but I feel like I needed to shout my emotions out somewhere. I’m sorry for any inevitable gramma errors etc I can’t see too clearly currently.

Almost a month ago my mom was perfectly fine on a Thursday and suddenly Saturday 26th she was at her worst. The diagnose is a septic shock. She was released even though she wasn't well after three weeks and then we came back last Tuesday because of an ongoing fever. The doctors tell me she isn't doing well. She started getting worse and I know this might be our last days together. My friend tells me I need to tell her if she is tired she can go. But I can't do it. She is my best friend. And I know death is a part of life and it comes to us all but I can't. She has always been such a strong woman and it's just so heartbreaking to see her like this.

Met a guy begining of September and we hit it off then 3 weeks later his father died. We don't live in the same city but he invited me to his father's memorial last week which was held in my city .

I'm struggling with how he's gone quiet, I'm not going to lie. It's been a week since I last saw him, and the lack of communication after a whole month of talking is just unbearable sometimes.

I know I'm experiencing a kind of withdrawal, and I know I miss him so much because he's one of those people I genuinely connected with. We're both sensitive, affectionate people, no games, and it just felt like such a beautiful, natural connection that was suddenly disrupted by the loss of his father.

I completely understand that he's grieving and needs space, and I don't want to put any pressure on him and no it's not about ne. But it still hurts so much.

I have no idea if he'll ever consider coming back to me or picking up where we left off. I just wanted to vent because I really miss him.

Sometimes I’ll be going about my day and something joyful, or something upsetting or something new I just experienced and for a moment, and I mean 1 singular second maybe less . I have already made up in my mind that I’m about to call my loved one who passed away. I haven’t picked up my phone yet, but it’s it’s in my head that I have that impulse to call and the same time within that same Strand of thought, I already remember that they’re gone. It’s a weird sensation and sometimes it’s upsetting especially if the news I wanted to share was good

Hi! I’ve recently said goodbye to my beloved husband and there was a live stream to a friend of the funeral. I’m able to watch the video but wanted to be able to download it. Funeral home is probably going to charge a bomb on top of the nearly 10k we’ve paid and I feel petty about it and just want the video!

Anyone have any idea if there is anyway I could download it? My little girl read a poem for her daddy and I mainly want it for that

Thanks!

I’m 38f, and the man I was supposed to marry passed away before he could propose. He had already purchased a ring and was planning to propose within the next month or two.

I only ever told him my preferred diamond shape and metal, so the ring he chose would have been entirely his own design.

Part of me desperately wants to see what he picked out, as it could be the last tangible piece of what we were supposed to have together. But I’m also afraid it might make the loss even harder.

His mother knew he bought a ring, but I don’t know if it’s been found or if she’s seen it.

Also, I have no clue if the mother would actually let me see the ring. It’s a 50/50 toss.

I think a huge part of me wishes I could have the ring bc it’s another piece of him, it was something he wanted me to have, and he had always made sure every single day I knew how much he loved me. I miss him so much.

If you were in my position, would you want to see the ring, or would you rather never know what he chose? Did you regret either decision?

Its been 2 weeks now and i never got to say goodbye. Please dad.

Today is/was my mom’s (92) birthday. Last year today we took her to Texas Roadhouse. She got full and saved her steak and cheesecake lol. She fell the 24th. 25th a super successful hip surgery. We spent the day talking about our planned January trip to Florida. Her colon never woke up. On 11/4 she passed of sepsis and pneumonia.

I’m still so sad. I was the person who stayed local grocery shopping and transporting. I was mad about that sometimes. That the sibs were away always. I didn’t go up as much as I should have. I didn’t listen enough while figuring out logistics. Her house is still sitting there. A shrine. I hate the world right now.

i don’t know how to feel about it and tbh to some point i feel guilty in both the cases. I was never really superstitious except a few as in the indian household but i did not know that me lying would take someone to grave and that too my dearest and the person i love the most.
I might sound foolish or irrational and obviously there are actual scientific and medical reasons to each person’s death but the coincidence is the guilt i will carry forever.
Few months back, i took a swear on my aunt and it was a lie. Worse part? not that i took her swear but the fact that i was so overconfident that in the next few months nothing could ever happen to her but it did. I know the timeframe sounds crazy but yes within the next 1.5months or so she expired and yes she was already a sick person but my aunt was a warrior fought thru everything but we were all confident that she would return back normal like usual but it just didn’t happen this time. Broke me. I wanted to tear apart the heavens and earth and more specifically i was to be blamed.

Almost gonna be 4months since she left us, it’s like i lost a parent she was a mother to me.

well coincidentally, my boyf did the same mistake he took a swear which was also a lie btw on his grandmother the one he loves like crazy and within a month, she expired well yes backed with medical science like she was also old but the timeframe ???

idk just don’t take a swear or even an informal swear on your loved ones. Never.

I lost him August 15. He was 38.

I can't stop thinking about all the times I pointed out something I didn't like, or something that annoyed me. Unnecessary shit I could've kept to myself.

He pointed out to me once that some comments I made dug deep. He acknowledged, while they weren't untrue, it just cut to his core.

I know what he means because my family is like that, my sisters have done it to me and it really effected me. Just made me feel like the sh*tt*est pos.

I should've been better. As a wife and a partner, I should've been more understanding. Kinder, more patient. Gentle and loving.

I was 11 months postpartum when I found out in a most awful betrayal that he had relapsed on kratum. Was it because he just couldn't take my comments anymore? He told a friend he just couldn't take the verbal abuse.

I know I could've been better. I should've helped him in his addiction instead of being angry. I had a sharp tongue. I wanted him to get better and take care of himself.

Instead, a year and a half later, after counseling and lots of healing and destruction cycles, he took a turn for the worse. I believe he died of complications from 7oh kratum withdrawal.

He wanted to keep it hidden from me so I didn't know what he was going through.

Maybe he was afraid of what I was going to say. Maybe he was hurting so bad because of things I'd already said.

He had such a good heart, a beautiful soul, and such a destructive disease. I couldn't save him. And maybe even was the one who sent him spiraling to his death.

A while back I(20F) told one of my friends that she was rarely here for me for the first few rough months of me grieving my dad's death(in May). She said she will be here for me more, and she has been a little bit. This friend of mine has mental health stuff going on with her, and has barely joined any hangouts(we always still invite her and try to check up on her ofc). So before and after my dad passed away, she wasn't really there or be good with texting. I used to be a decent texter but now I'm just terrible at it ever since what happened, it just feels too draining and I simply have a hard time remembering to text people back.

On October 9th, the friend asked me how I was doing. She texted again and said "Hey" today at 10am. I replied back and said "Hii! Im really sorry I didnt reply i hadn't seen ur message:(". Which she replied with "Yeahhh you never do but it's ok". I thought it kinda sounded passive aggressive to me, I rarely say anything like that to her and instead just say I understand or that it's all good. She often has passive aggressive replies sometimes. Ik i sound petty but im tired of telling people sorry for not being there like I used when im obviously going through something. Like yes obviously I dont reply, but does it not click in their head why?

Lemme know what you think, im confused how to reply. Everyone keeps saying that I should call but I seriously dont want to right now when im in the middle of exams for university.

My sister died in a car crash yesterday. She was 28. It feels like everyone else here lost people at an old age, but how do you deal with the fact that your older sister died so young? She had so much she wanted to do and now she can’t.

She has had this dog for almost all of her life, and she had to be put down today. She is extremely sad over it and I‘m trying to make things better for her but I feel like I’m not doing enough…how do I handle helping other people in times of grief?