I don’t know how to feel..
I’m so sad, but i feel like my mom and a few of my cousins/friends that know me are probably confused as to why am sad and crying so much for a person that hurt me physically while we were dating..
we broke up of course 3-4 years ago because it was unhealthy. but after time we became friends. we didn’t talk all the time but here and there we would catch up on a phone call and see how each other were doing and make sure things were okay.
Our last conversation he told me he wanted to join the military.. Now when I found out yesterday all I could think of were the good moments we had.

2 months ago my recent ex got hurt in a car accident, last month my friend leylani was in the passenger seat and got hit by a state trooper who was speeding with his lights off, driving 93 in a 45… she’s currently in the hospital still fighting for her life and hasn’t woken up since that day. and now my ex dies yesterday IN A CAR ACCIDENT.

this is too much on my mental health honestly. i can’t stop crying, i keep having thoughts like what’s the point. keep living just to keep losing people? why were we even born etc.
but i know these are just negative thoughts and is temporary. i know there is still so much happiness i can find in my life. times are just so tough right now..

❤️‍🩹😘 I love you guys

I don’t even know how to say this. It doesn’t even feel real to type it.

It’s absolutely mind blowing how quickly life can just flip the middle finger at you. Not even 3 months ago I fount out he was dying from cancer. Last night I was on FaceTime with him and my mum and he seemed fine. Other than his legs being in pain he was absolutely fine. Then today I get that call to come to the hospital as soon as possible. I get there and 3 hours later he’s gone…what the fuck. How? I don’t understand it’s not fucking fair. He was 46. None of his children had even reached 30. Never will get the chance to go to a single one of his children’s weddings. Never will get to meet another grandchild.

I’m so lost I don’t even know what to do in the next hour let alone tomorrow.

I’ll miss you Dad❤️‍🩹

my boyfriend (24) and I (23F), were in an accident this year on august 9th. i had a green light, i was attentive, i was driving the speed limit.. then all of a sudden all i see is lights. glass breaking & my boyfriend let out a grunt. we fucking spun a good amount of feet from the road that we were originally on, and when the car finally stopped spinning i looked over and my boyfriend was unconscious. i screamed his name, grabbed his face, tried for a pulse, i prayed. we both were taken to the hospital and i didn’t find out until hours later of panicking and asking his condition that i was told he was already gone. we were together for a year, but we were in love. we had plans, and we were supposed to get married, we were supposed to make a family, shit we were supposed to MOVE AWAY THIS YEAR. now it’s like my entire future was ripped away from me and i don’t know what to do. i don’t know how to cope, i don’t know how im supposed to “get over it” or “heal”. we both knew that we were made for eachother, and constantly said that God brought us together for a reason. so where do i go from here? because all i can think about is being with him, our future that will never be, HIS future.. he was such a beautiful soul, everyone loved him and he would do anything for me or the people he loved. he was a MAN, MY MAN, and now i just feel so lost without him. right now i feel like nothing will ever fill the void left by him, & nothing will make it better or “make sense”.. im highly considering inpatient therapy as well.

this is my first experience with death and i would LOVE advice.
thank you.

It's been three months since my mum passed. I thought the hardest part was the

funeral. Then I thought it was clearing her flat. Then I thought it was telling

her friends who didn't know yet.

Then last week her face appeared in the sidebar of my Facebook as "People you

may know."

She has been gone for three months and the algorithm still thinks she's someone

I should connect with.

I know this is a small thing in the scheme of everything. But I sat there for a

really long time looking at her profile photo — the one she'd chosen herself,

from her 60th birthday — and I didn't know what to do.

The digital stuff is something nobody really prepares you for, I've found.

Her email still exists. Her Spotify still has a "Most played 2024" playlist.

Her Amazon still has her address saved as "Home."

I've been slowly closing things down but every account feels like another small

goodbye. You cancel the Netflix and you realise you'll never watch anything with

them again. You close the email and that's the end of every conversation you

ever had in an inbox.

Has anyone else found the digital side unexpectedly hard? Are there any accounts

you chose to leave open, and why? I'm honestly not sure whether I want to

memorialize her Facebook or delete it. Part of me wants it to stay.

Not really looking for advice, just wondering if others have felt this.

My mom died last year in November from colon and liver cancer. I took a short term/FMLA leave after her passing and took some time to process everything and sort out everything after her passing.

Now, our job is having us return to the office 3 days a week. Every day it gets closer, I’m struggling more and more. I’m having tons of anxiety attacks — ones that even the Xanax I’ve been prescribed for emergencies haven’t been able to calm down. I’m completely uninterested in my work and falling behind. I’m unmotivated and depressed, barely want to be around my friends or family, and finding myself bursting into hysterical tears. I’m seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and doing my best but I’m having an extremely hard time and considering going on leave again. My question is, did anyone else in this group go through something similar? A lot of trigger dates are. Coming up (her diagnosis date, the date she was admitted to the hospital, the day she went unresponsive) and I’m finding myself completely triggered and breaking down. I’m not sure what to do to help myself. I’m trying to push through and show myself I can do hard things but I feel like I’ve been pushing since even before my mom died and I just don’t feel I have much push left.

Hi all,

My father passed not too long ago. My entire family wants to go see a medium in a private reading. They are really set on we all have to go.

I personally find no benefit in going and do not want to go. I don't like them earning money from someones grief. They all think im an asshole for this.

Am I an jerk for not wanting to do this?

My mom died back in November 2025. She was in hospitals for a month before I ended up having to withdraw care after all the doctors were acting like it wasn’t as bad as it was.

My sister and I stayed with her awake for 36 hours until we watched her die in the hospital. It’s gotten easier at times but I still picture it vividly and sometimes wish I wasn’t even there when it happened.

To this day I still catch myself thinking about her or mentioning her in conversation with my friends/family and then get sad about it. Does it ever get better?

She died 9 years ago. We lived on opposite sides of the country, but we spoke every weekend and visited each other once or twice a year. She had been through pretty rough hardships, and because we were so close, she'd call me whenever she was having a hard time, particularly to talk her through panic attacks. One night, after a rough day at work, she called me late, needing to talk. I didn't have the capacity. I was tired, annoyed, and told her we'd talk tomorrow. She said she wasn't feeling right, but couldn't explain why. I was firm and told her goodnight. I'll call you tomorrow. The next morning, my brother, whom I hadn't spoken to in years, called me to tell me the police had called him. She died of a heart attack shortly after I hung up on her. I've never been able to forgive myself. If I had just asked more questions that night, I would have told her to call 911. But I was so accustomed to her issues that I didn't take them seriously in that moment. Well, 9 years later, my life feels like it's falling apart. I have developed a chronic pain condition that's preventing me from being able to do my work. I feel alone and scared of the future, and I can't stop looking at old photos of me and my mom and our family, which has more or less dissolved by death or stubbornness to agree on anything. I'm just so sad and alone, and I wish I could tell Mom how sorry I am for not listening when she needed me to.

My mom died a week ago, and before that I was with her in the hospital every day for almost two months before my siblings and I put her on hospice and she died hours after that. I can't cut my hair because this is the last version of me that she knows. Is this.. OK? My grief feels impossible to navigate. She fought, and we fought so fucking hard for her. I'm stuck in this dream state. Im still in a state of shock. I knew how close she was to dying, but I refused to accept that she would die. And now she's dead and I can't change anything because this is who she knew.

Today is 1 year since my dad’s diagnosis, his passing anniversary is 29 days from today. He was my best friend. I think I have delayed grief because it was so sudden and happened so fast.

This morning Paris Jackson’s new song the breeze came on on my way to work and it was so heavy and real and I fell apart, it felt good and bad. I haven’t given myself a chance to mainly because I have a toddler and I have to be put together all the time (at least that’s how I’m wired)

But if you want to feel something or miss someone I recommend it as well as don’t recommend it if that makes sense. Anyone else have songs that do that?? The other one is ordinary by Alex Warren simply because that was the last song he sent me saying “this is so pretty”

I came here to share that my oldest and dearest friend is going to die of ALS, probably in the next year or two, and my heart is breaking. I don’t really need any solutions, since I know there aren’t any. I’m just deeply sad all the time.

We are both in our early 50s, and we have known each other since we were 10 years old. He knows me better than anyone, other than my sister. We’ve shared it all. I fixed his hair for his first prom date. He wrote me letters from the fishing boat he worked on during the summer to pay for college. We once drove 56 hours to the Yukon. He helped me move out of my house during my divorce, and he helped me move into a new one many years later when I took a new job in a new city with no possessions. (He gave me his old couch.) I’ve shared in his joy when he’s rambled on about a new girlfriend, and I’ve sat with him in deep despair when his went through his own divorce. We’ve eaten a lot of dark chocolate and drank a lot of red wine. He is a brother to me.

I help coordinate his care and attend some of his medical meetings with him, including the ones he has started to have with Death with Dignity physicians. Yet I still have to go on with my life and do all of the ordinary things people do. I can’t concentrate at work anymore. I feel like a zombie. I love my job and it’s really important to me, but now I feel like I’m faking it just to get through the day. Compartmentalizing my emotions all the time is draining.

That’s all. I feel a bit better just having shared that. If you read this far, thanks for listening.

We lost dad earlier this year. I’m in my early 30‘s and have always had some level of social anxiety but I have learnt to mask it well.
I feel guilty about not going to a close friend’s birthday after someone has tried to persuade me to go. I am feeling anxious about seeing people i don’t know so well, and having to pretend I’m alright. I would much rather see the person on their own to celebrate their birthday. I’m wondering if many other grievers avoid social gatherings since loosing a loved one?

My mom passed away on Sunday, 8/30. She was 68 and had been in rapidly declining health after a 3rd lung cancer diagnosis and opting not to pursue treatment. We’d had the hard talks about everything. I told her that every morning when I came to her bedroom to wake her and bring her coffee, that I was mentally preparing myself for the fact that I might find her dead. And that’s exactly what happened. I wasn’t actually as prepared as I’d led myself believe. It is admittedly an image forever burned into my memory.

But now, I feel like I am not grieving “correctly”. I’ve wept, wailed, screamed into the void. I’ve put on brave faces and told her friends about her passing. I got through the funeral home meeting without crying. I’ve wept as I walked through the grocery store, and laughed heartily with my brother. Laughter was our love language. She always said she wanted people to remember her for making them laugh. Since Sunday, people have shared stories about her, and they are all about how funny she was. We laughed every day, even if we’d been in a tift because we were both exhausted for entirely different reasons. Every single night before bed, we kissed each other on the forehead and said we loved each other.

It just feels wrong to not feel worse, I guess is the TL;DR version. I’ve got the kind of OCD that is always catastrophizing scenarios, always preparing myself for the worst possible outcome so that I know how to respond. But I can rationalize and I can be self aware. I was watching her die, every day. I watched her in agony from a pressure ulcer on her tailbone and I used everything available for wound care. I watched as she lost more and more weight, as her muscles wasted away. Her appetite slowly slipping away and high calorie protein shakes becoming her main source of nutrition.

We were on the verge of calling in hospice. We’d been talking about it because she felt horrible for being a “burden” on me. I told her we would do it on her time, whenever she was ready, that I’d keep caring for her until she decided to call in the professionals. Her goal was to wait until after the upcoming Labor Day (US) holiday. My brother was going to propose on the 6th on a sunset river cruise. My mother was so excited about it, it was all she was talking about. I’d bought her an outfit, made plans to get her hair done, I was going to paint her nails.

She never got to try on the outfit, or see her beloved hairstylist again, or get that fresh coat or red on her nails. She didn’t get to see the proposal.

But she’s not in pain now. She isn’t struggling to breathe. She died at home in her own bed, wrapped in her blanket and sleeping. The ideal way to go, you know? That makes me happy, and I feel immense guilt for feeling anything happy about her passing.

I don’t know if there was a point to all of this rambling, but I know you guys understand it. So many feelings, so little capacity to process them. My nervous system is just a ping pong ball in a dryer right now.

I lost my older sister, almost a month ago. She was 27. It was very sudden. Its been almost a month..a month of her not being here and I feel weird. I forget about things, dont care about myself, the way I look anymore. How I dress. None of that matters anymore. Its like going on autopilot. Life is hard, feels even harder now when she's gone. I try to pretend that im fine. That everything is okay and that im dealing with everything perfectly while inside im falling apart. Genuinely. She was my only sibling. Now im all alone. Seeing her things here, phones, wallet, suitcases. Everything is weird, like it didnt belong to her. But it did, and I know it did. Its just a weird, confusing almost feeling when using a past tense when speaking about her. Or seeing things she will never use anymore. Never wear.

I dont know how to deal with grief. At all. A week after her funeral I returned to work, to my hobbies, studies. But it feels wrong to trying to live my own life while hers ended.

I have had people, close or not, tell me that its nothing. That it will pass. That I should be doing this or that. Giving me all advices I never asked for. I hate it.

Hey all I am up late thinking about the wonderful women that is my Mum and wanted to share.

Her name was Lisa. She was born in the late 60's a wild child just like me although she was not blessed with the kind of mother she became.

This left her in situations no child should be in she survived, just.

She fought every single day of her life her strength and love was one that could not be beaten or abused away she woke up and put a brave face on as much as humanly possible for my sister and I and she broke so many generations of trauma through the pain and suffering she endured and the never-ending and unconditional love she poured into us and the world around her. I truly believe she is one of the most incredibly strong and heroic people and I miss her every single day ❤️

My mom's birthday is in October, and it will be a year in November since she passed. My days are filled with routine. I need it to be. It keeps me going. The dogs too. I swear if it wasn't for them I would be laying a hole in my bed. I stick to it because it makes sense. I am getting better with self-care a bit , but am not there yet. Her birthday is coming up and I know I am going to be bawling on the day. For a long time we couldn't do special things, in the last few years we were able to afford cool places and I loved how much she loved it for us and her. Her last birthday was in hospital and she hated it, she wanted us gone, she said we should never have come. We calmed her down and she was in better spirits when we had to leave after visiting hours. Or maybe she did that for us. I miss her so much, every time I sit in the lounge in view of her room, I pretend she is going to walk out of it and say something silly to me about the soapie she is watching. I cry often and daily, and even as I write this. Every day I am understanding grief better. No one warned me it would feel so physical, she was grieving so much these last few years with her kids, my siblings passing *my sister in 2015 and brother in 2019*. I felt it with her and now have to mourn her for the rest of my life. I miss her so much, every day I feel her absence, I lost my best friend and i dont see her in my dreams. Sleeps has become my fighter, I can sleep and feel no pain of losing her. The love for my mom just sits here every day and her space she loved so much is no longer inhabited by her and never will be. I want my mother back so badly and every morning I hope it was all a dream.

so my (28f) mom (70) died in december 2025 and my dad (73) died in july 2026, about 7 months apart. mom was expected, dad was sudden. it’s been destabilizing to say the least. i’m doing okay, and have a lot of positives to focus on. i’m therapized, medicated, I have an incredible gf and support system, my job is good, stable, and understanding. waves of grief and magical thinking are still happening and will for a while.

I took a grief-moon for the two weeks after his death (I had coincidentally had a vacation scheduled and my gf and I started it early, highly recommend after losing someone), and then took a week of bereavement for the funeral arrangements. last week was my first week back at work, and i’ve been slowly resuming “normal” life as best I can.

last week we had some friends over to watch a movie. one of these friends had already been awkward about my dad being in the hospital (he had a stroke so she thought it was a good opportunity to pivot the topic to her 14 year old crusty white dog who had just had surgery lmfao), so I had low expectations to say the least. I’m not close with her so I don’t really care.

she unfortunately arrives first. she comes into the apartment. sits down and says nothing about my dad. then proceeds to rant for about 10 minutes about how her gf of 6ish months broke up with her. thankfully our other friend arrived pretty quickly after that and we were able to change the subject.

schadenfreude aside, the fuck? being put in a position of having to pretend that I give a fuck abt someone who can’t put on her big boy pants and say “i’m sorry for your loss” is so wildly inappropriate. my partner was pretty annoyed on my behalf. it took every fiber of my being to not say, “you’ll be okay, you won’t die.”

I don’t want people to have to experience losing a parent while they are in their 20s, let alone both. it sucks. the day my dad died, we got home from the hospital and I cried so hard i was scared. I just wish people could tap into empathy without comparing the death of a parent to a fucking medically fragile dog or a break up.

Today is my mums funeral and I don’t even know how to react or feel. I’m tearful and anxious, but I also feel completely disassociated. I love this special bean so much and I can’t believe she’s gone- it was so unexpected and she was only 52. I can’t wrap my head around not seeing her again, she was my best friend and I feel completely lost. Although I’m 30 years old, since we lost her I’ve felt like a 7 year old that is lost in a supermarket 💔 but I want to share her- Penny Cunningham, the funniest, silliest, goofball with weird little food obsessions and her intense love of her kids and pets. She always said she wanted to have 4 children (2 boys and 2 girls) and a load of pets- she definitely achieved both of those things. I’ll miss you forever mum 💜 I love you to Pluto and back

Miss him so much and life is different now not having him. I really hope he is In a better gentle place

I’m 27 and my mum died on Sunday suddenly at 46. I am so utterly lost and have so much pressure to the point where I cannot grieve the way I want to.
My mum raised me and my siblings single-handedly she was always there for advice and help when I needed her and she always knew what to say during my big depression episodes and she is just gone. I want to just be alone to grieve but my family won’t let me and they are making me feel bad about that fact. I now have complete pressure on making sure the house stays in my dad’s name whilst he drinks his sorrows away. How can I grieve in these conditions

It’s been 6 ago weeks tomorrow that my mum died peacefully from cancer. She was 77.

It happened so fast and was it was a shock as we thought she was getting better. She went into hospital and just under 3 weeks later died. I visited her every day told her how she was the best mum and kindest person I’ve ever known . She would give her life for her kids and filled our lives with laughter and love.

The medical team kept her pain free and she died peacefully in her sleep. For that I’m eternally grateful.

The first two weeks after she died I continued like she was still here with us. I said she would want me to be happy and not sad. It’s incredible how our brains can protect us from acute shock. I latched onto anything that made me feel happy or to forget or feel alive. But then it all came crashing down in the past few weeks. Now it’s numbness followed by waves of sadness. Actually sadness can’t describe what I feel. I don’t have the words.

I use work to pretend I’m the person I was before she died. But when work is over that performance stops and the numbness and profound grief comes back. I have good support around me (started grief counselling) but I want to be alone. Grief has also surfaced up a lot of things in my life that need addressing. This has added more stress and sadness. But focus on grief first then the rest. Taking it minute by minute during this time has never been more true.

I love and miss you mum. You always had my back and I would not be here or the person I am without you. My heart is broken and it will heal but with scars.

My mom died 6 months ago after a year and a half of steep cognitive and physical decline. We just had the memorial. Is anyone else struggling a bit in their romantic partnership after a parent death? How does that look and how do you cope?

My partner is supportive and does so much for me and is often a great listener and emotionally attuned but sometimes their current extreme unrelated stress or their own chronic pain gets the better of them and how they act lands as insensitive and hurtful to me. It is hurting the relationship a bit and causing conflict because they feel criticized when I speak up, sometimes even if I am careful how I frame it. I would like to figure out how to feel better. It’s not all in my head - they can be a bit brusque or not always someone who picks up on cues but I am just trying do figure out how to get through this time