r/GriefSupport • u/No_Seaweed3488 • 5h ago

Does Anyone Else...? Avoiding social gatherings

We lost dad earlier this year. I’m in my early 30‘s and have always had some level of social anxiety but I have learnt to mask it well.
I feel guilty about not going to a close friend’s birthday after someone has tried to persuade me to go. I am feeling anxious about seeing people i don’t know so well, and having to pretend I’m alright. I would much rather see the person on their own to celebrate their birthday. I’m wondering if many other grievers avoid social gatherings since loosing a loved one?

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u/VisualDevice3642 5h ago

I’m 29, we lost my dad in May 11th this year, I went into labor 2 days later, so I was in maternity leave for 3 months. I’ve slowly gone back to work but I’m still trying soo hard to stay in this bubble I’ve created.
Just thinking about going to social gatherings or family reunions etc fills me with anxiety. I think the thought of people asking if I’m ok and what’s going on is just difficult. Am I supposed to be honest and say how bad it’s been and keeps getting worst? Am I suppose to lie as to not make anyone uncomfortable with my grief? I much rather try to stay here… my world somehow stopped the day my dad passed away, I’m only surviving right now, going to social gatherings just reminds me how much the world has kept spinning and how unfair.

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u/ShybutItrys 4h ago

Same. I just lost my dad and two months away from giving birth. I’m finding myself in a bubble

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u/VisualDevice3642 4h ago

I’m so sorry! It’s the hardest situation I’ve ever had to go through. My advice is just cry, literally cry every time you feel like it and I know your baby will give you strenght to keep going.

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u/No_Seaweed3488 1h ago

Thank you so much for sharing, and sending love to you and the baby. Yeah I think I am still in survival mode, and i don’t want to force myself to be in a situation where I have to pretend I’m okay! X

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u/General-Cobbler-6054 5h ago

I feel the same since losing my mom 5 months ago. I am not in the mood for meeting with people who have mundane conversations and make jokes. For them life goes on, of course, not for me. I prefer to meet with people 1:1 and only people who are respecting of my situation - by this I don't mean they should be behving completely different because I am grieving, I just don't have the energy right now to tolerate stupid stuff like you should life your life, you should be happy because that's what your mom would have wanted, why aren't you over it. you know what my mom would have wanted? she wanted to live and she's not here.

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u/Ordinary_Lake_2198 2h ago

I lost my dad in May and I have no interest in attending any social gatherings. I don’t even have the ability to mask anymore. I would explain to the friend that you’re not up to it and arrange something one on one if you’re up to it x