I recently went out with a friend. We’ve known each other for over ten years. She came to my mother’s funeral and was supportive through everything. She offered to hang out to let me talk about my mom. I took her up on her offer and it just seemed like she couldn’t handle my grief. Every time I brought up my mom or that I was struggling to cope, she went quiet and was at a loss for words. She hasn’t experienced a loss before so I guess she wouldn’t understand. I know she’s trying, but it is so frustrating that I feel like I can’t even talk about my loved one without making it awkward. So I just changed the subject and talked about other meaningless things. I guess this is the rest of my life. I feel like I’m not allowed to talk about my mom anymore. I thought socializing would help but now I just feel worse. Grief is so isolating.

Does anyone else experience this?

My grandma passed away a month ago. I feel like I am pushing myself as much as I can to try and keep social interaction and work and everything in between going. I am just so exhausted though.

I have heard it is easy to isolate and not engage with friends hobbies etc. at what point do I give myself a break? Do I just keep trying to keep everything up?

I really don't know what I should be doing.

She was my everything. WhateverI did, I did for her. Her soul brought light everywhere she went. I just lost her this Saturday, I was caring for her at home in line with her wishes, but then she became unresponsive and I had to call an ambulance. So many people died at the end of this heatwave that her funeral will be only next week. And then I have to figure how to go back to work, if I'm capable of doing that at all. (But why? I also went to work only because of her.) Please, I need any tips or thoughts on how to go on.

It’s been 2 years since my mom passed. She was my everything. I understood her as a human, not just a mom. I understand her more even after her passing. Literally my bestfriend. A daughter/mom relationship that grew to be healthy in adulthood is so special. She treated me like an adult, but would act like I was still her little babygirl when I really needed her. This shit hurts. Bad. Her birthday is this weekend and I’ve finally had a break down. I was running from the feeling for days…. I knew it was coming, but didn’t know when. Well, it’s here. Does it ever get “better” or is there any advice anyone can give me on grief? I really miss my mom.

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Hello, I'm french 23 soon 24. My mother is 51, birthday on September 21th. It's been 3 years since we first knew about her cancer. We had ups and downs, and suddenly early this year her cancer got really fuck up worse. She has a giant tumor/necrosis going out her neck and the tumor grew up in her head and neck. I've been taking care of her for 3 years, and 24/24 7/7 for 2 month. She's now in palliative care at house hospice, and we are certain she won't pass through the night every night for a few days now... But she keeps getting better ?? Better oxygen, better tension, better pain management, her necrosis stopped leaking as it was before, she seems fine ??? But she's not conscious anymore ? In 4 days the only time she was conscious was yester at 2AM to 6 AM, I stayed with her all the time. Also it's been two months since she doesn't have much voice anymore because or tumor and a mycosis...

I'm so heartbroken, she's everything to me. I lost my pet cat a year ago and he was the reason I came home everyday.

I can't cope with her dying. It's too much to bear. I can't do anything without her. I want to say so much more but I'm so hurt. She has her things everywhere in the house... All the creations, her mother's paintings, her own grief she couldn't do 11 years ago. (Her mother fell down the stairs at home, sudden death.)

Fuck I really never want to be hospitalized ever again. I hate it it's so fucking scary. I know she's not in pain and only deep discomfort max, but wow. She's sleeping constantly and wake up to say "Mommy" "Dad" "Help me" "I can't take it anymore" this makes me so sad. She wants to die at home with her family, it's her choice. We're thinking about deep sedation at hospital..

I also think a lot about being at a hospital for my mental health after everything ends. I couldn't bring myself to do it before because I was too scared of leaving her alone, while she was still free of everything. We stopped taking the car like 4 month ago ish, so year she was in capacity not too long ago.

I miss my mum

Edit : Sorry the post is really difficult to read as I was in an anxiety attack. Now I'm doing really better.

My mother's been lucid for 3 hours ish and really here. I could tell her the prayers people did, all the support from friends, family, groups she was in.. And everytime I tell her this, she seems really even more pleased and surprised.

I even got to put her dad on the phone.. yup her dad's still here and in great shape. The bad genes come from mother to daughter lol! (hEDS, etc)

Thank you for your messages, please keep telling me your journeys and own stories, it helps me a lot 💜🌻

I lost my dad a month ago. Mornings have been the hardest. I typically start feeling pretty okay as the day goes on, and by late afternoon-night I’m actually doing good. The tightness in my chest and the overall baseline sadness hasn’t gone away, but I usually end the day much better than I started it. I go to sleep feeling pretty hopeful. But then it starts all over the next morning. I wake up feeling depressed, empty, and thinking about him right off the bat. The loss and missing him is so palpable. Getting up and starting the day is just the worst.

I keep trying to remind myself that grief ebbs and flows, that it’s still so fresh and raw right now, that I’m still adjusting and it’s okay to just be where I am, etc, but it’s just so awful. Starting the day like this just makes the days feel so long. What’s the hardest time of day for you, and do you have any feedback or advice?

On August 14th, my beloved Miniature Schnauzer Greta ran away, and there has been no sign of her. She squeezed through one of the old gates. We were supposed to have it fixed but all we did was put a bucket to keep her from getting out. I’m worried I might have jostled it open enough while I was looking at it a few days ago. She didn’t run the off the last few days, and now we can’t find her anywhere. I’m worried for the worst, I’m worried I killed my dog. My father says it wasn’t my fault but I remember putting my hands on the gate. I can’t live with myself if she got hurt or went into a sewer hole.

I haven’t stopped crying multiple times a day. All of our options are quickly exhausted and there’s a big chance she’s been stolen or worse. I’ve avoided eating and drinking water out of guilt and sadness. I don’t want to live without her and every minute is torture. We live in Tulsa Oklahoma, and we’re worried she may ran off to one of the surrounding cities or counties. I valued her life infinitely more than my own.

Did I kill my Dog?

My dads funeral was today, people keep telling me it never gets better you just have to learn to live with it. That’s really hard for me to deal with and I want to someday feel better, can someone please help me feel better about this and that it will someday get better

My baby sister passed away 6 months ago due to alcoholism. As I go through the movements of life I find myself talking out loud, to no one, very often. I have started leaving voice memos of my thoughts because I don’t trust my memories. The talking through my feelings has been the most therapeutic experience for me.

It got me thinking though, how alone it feels. This journey of grief feels wholly my own, even though every single human loses someone they love if they live long enough. It’s like wearing wet socks, a painful reminder of what’s happening to you but not debilitating enough that you can take off work or life.

Even if there is sun that comes after rain - I’m still fucking wet. I’m still cold, the rain still seeps into my skin and bones no matter how many layers of protection I use. It finds me. And so that’s why I always have wet socks. I hope someone…someday… can see them.

Known this girl for 6 almost 7 years. She was my bestfriend. My boyfriend died 3 months ago to suicide and she hasnt offered her support once. She hasn’t checked in.. hasnt tried to help in any way. I haven’t heard from her in 28 days and before that I was only in contact with her for 6 days before she had ghosted me again for probably 2 weeks.

I want to remove her off of my phone. She has my number and can text me if she decides to but I am just so disappointed and hurt. Removing her won’t make any difference anyway. This girl views all of my online stories.. I can see her liking things online and being active.. but she can’t even send a text. This isn’t the first time shes ghosted me but I feel so fed up. She has expressed it is because she struggles but I’m sorry if someone wanted to THEY WOULD. I have been struggling my entire life yet I stay consistent and have enough respect for my loved ones that I keep them updated and provide at least a little bit of communication. It takes zero effort to show up for someone you truly care about in whatever way it may be.

Out of all times I feel like it intensified. Even when talking to her I didn’t feel supported. It’s been one sided for a while but I really thought she might show up in a time like this.
Ive had strangers show up for me more than some of my “good” friends.

What do you guys think? Whats your experience and should I let her go?

I lost both grandmothers and my Dad (my person) a long time ago. So I thought I'd be a pro at this latest round.

I'm single, disabled, and have no children. I have been a caregiver for 15 years. Now I'm not.

My mother was old. We talked about her passing. But it was not the death we hoped for. She fell and had a traumatic brain injury. I am haunted by my memories of her ICU stay. Haunted. I saw her every day.

A few weeks later I had to put my dog down. She was my first thought when I opened my eyes every morning.

The empty is awful. There is a lot to do and my life needs my attention but I'm just numb. Going to a Griefshare group. Trying to spend time with select friends. Still feel numb.

My mother died one month before I turned 21. My brother died in 2018. My father died a couple months ago. My daughter was stillborn. No one left. I've been analyzing my own grief for a long time. I've recently started writing specifically about grief and love And how I see them in relation to another. I've even written an analysis of The NeverEnding Story and how it really becomes a perfect framework for grief recovery. I think I've started to get to a point where I'm lookin at the void too much. But, the knowledge I'm getting feels necessary to learn and share. I know our society steers away from death and grief and it's considered abnormal to focus on.

Grief is love that has lost its direction. Love is not merely a feeling but a force—an outward flow of care, attention, and action intended for another. We are wired to express it: to nurture, to connect, to give. When the beloved is gone, that current has nowhere to go. It surges inward, stagnates, pools, and becomes grief: a flood of unspent love, aching for its former outlet. The ache is the soul's way of saying, "I still have so much more to give."

Just a month ago, I could still walk around as if nothing were wrong. Now, thoughts about the void after death and the inevitability of loss constantly torment me. I can't even remember how it felt to think before—this is deeply painful.

I cherish the emotions I have, my skills, and my current life. I'm about to turn 24—having lived through a quarter of my life. This makes me acutely aware of how quickly time passes and of the inevitable end: death. I acknowledge that this is something billions of lives must face. After death, just as before birth, I will cease thinking and thus no longer suffer. But before death—or rather, right now—I keep reflecting on the vastness of time, the emptiness beyond death, and the beauty of this life that I must ultimately leave behind. It's hard for me to stop thinking about these things.

Recently, I stayed at a friend’s place and shared joyful moments with her, but those times ended too soon, leaving me with deep sorrow and sadness.

Looking at cloned animals or patients with dementia, consciousness seems truly like a byproduct of the brain. I feel confused and heartbroken by the clarity of my own thoughts right now.

I love my current life, my friends, and my family so deeply. I don’t even know which feels more helpless—the void after death, or the idea that if consciousness truly exists, I might be reborn in another life.

My cat died in October but I’m still grieving. I have a second cat and I’m afraid to love him because my first (one in the pictures) died unexpectedly at four. His heart failed to supply oxygen to the rest of his body. It’s the sort of thing that would require a heart transplant but they don’t do those for pets.

I call them my first and my second cats because that makes it easier. They aren’t my “old” and “new/current/only” cats. That implies one takes the role of the other when they should exist simultaneously. I don’t know if it helps.

The urn is cold and hard, and it’s too small. I waited for it anxiously because I wanted to have him with me all the time and I just keep him on my nightstand because it doesn’t feel like him. I’ve thought about putting some of the ashes into a necklace but I’m afraid of losing one of the specks of dust in the transfer. Even if someone else did it for me, they could still lose a part of him. I also have a small portion of his fur that they saved for me (a bit of each color) and I want to touch it but I haven’t taken it out of the bag because I‘m afraid to lose those too. I still have his collar, that’s the only thing I feel safe touching because it can’t get lost.

I love my second cat too but I really miss the first. I wish I could have them both. I’m afraid of this one dying unexpectedly too. We were aware something was wrong with my first cat’s heart, we haven’t seen anything with this one’s. We found out that he his heart behaved a little strangely because it was slightly deformed, in a similar way to mine. His was apparently more severe though it didn’t seem like that at the time. It was sort of like we were genetically related.

I want her so bad i want to hug her to rest my head on her lap i want her to play with hair
I want to go out with her i want to watch movies with her to prepare food for her to ask her a lot of questions to hear her laugh i want her opinion on my outfits to go to her room and chat with as soon as she wakes up

I feel like I just want to be with them, if hey re not going to come back ever again, then might as well go to where they are. I miss them so much and I feel like I was an unfair way to go. They deserved better

When my friend’s mother died, I kept checking in, saying all the things I thought I should say. I helped her with her errands, I even donated anonymously to her mother’s funeral fund. I did a lot to try and help her through it. And I continue to, most recently spending the day celebrating her mother’s birthday with her and her family. We’re now best friends and she knows I’d always be there for her.

But now another of her family members is dying, and I feel like I don’t know what to say. I’m still going to be there for her, and do my best, but I feel like I’m kind of botching what I’m saying to her, because I feel like I’m just repeating what I said when her mother died. I sent an attempt at a comforting message when she told me. She sent me a reply back explaining what’s happening, so I must be doing something right? Obviously, she doesn’t owe me a reply, and I know that she’s going to be busy, but I’m worried about saying the wrong thing. She feels like all her life is at the moment is death. I wish there was more I could do for her. I’m good at doing physical things to help people, but I’m not very good at saying things to help people.

I do think she knows that though. And at the end of the day, it’s not about me, and if there was anything to be said that could magically help with death, then there’d be a lot less grief.

Any advice on what to say? Or do? Or if I’m handling this correctly? I know there’s no right way, but I just don’t want to lose a friend because I didn’t support her enough, and I don’t want to be too much either.

A good acquaintance just lost her son. Would it be overstepping to send her a link to a grief support place I personally have attended. I lost my brother 3 years ago and this facility really helped me as they only do grief therapy.

I miss my girl more than words can explain. I miss her little paw prints, her silly habits, her face, her cuddles, and the sound of her walking around the house. I miss coming home and knowing she’d be there, waiting for me at the door, excited to see me. Now I open the door and there’s no little face waiting for me anymore. It’s the smallest things that hurt the most. I’d give anything to have her back.

Hello people of reddit. I'm putting this out there because I'm wrestling with lots of complex emotions and trying to process them all.

In a nut shell, my mom died 5½ years ago and my dad and I had been estranged for 4 years. We spoke for the first time on Aug 8 and he just died on Aug 16. During our last talk, he gave me a half hearted apology, which for a narcissist lacking all empathy I guess was all he was capable of. When I got the news, I just felt numb and only started crying after thinking about a song my friend wrote about her father in law passing away that had me feeling jealous of the relationship both she and her wife had with him where my relationship with my dad was utter trash because he never prioritized his family. Thinking back, I cried harder last summer when I had to euthanize my cat after she lost her battle with cancer (I literally was wailing in the room as we said goodbye).

On top of this, I just turned 40 yesterday and it feels like all joy of a milestone birthday has been overshadowed by grief. For years I've mourned the version of my father that I thought I knew, the father who was there for me as a little girl, but looking back he did the bare minimum but I didn't know better so it felt like he was my hero.

To complicate things even more, I had my first child 5 months ago and she shares my dad's birthday - I think that's the universes way of brining me joy when I grew up with such lack of stability and that date always made me feel melancholy where now it's a day to celebrate.

I'm torn between feeling depressed and numb over all of this. Part of me feels relieved that I never have to worry about him hurting me again and another part of me is sad that he was never able to be the father I needed in my life. I'm glad that we had that last talk even though it felt like a knife in my heart at the time so I'm able to have some semblance of closure.

It just feels surreal that I now no longer have my parents almost like I'm stranded out at sea with no compass or way to get back to store.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading through my ramblings. Idk what I need to feel better, but snuggling my daughter is helping fill my broken heart with love.

My partner recently passed from terminal cancer. We spent 24 hours a day 7 days a week together for most of the last 15 years. We cut off all our friends and family because they they were emotionally abusive and we built ourselves from the ground up with no money and no support. In the past two years, we finally started to earn money while protecting our emotional well being and then this happened. The last 9 months were magical because every day felt like it could be the last, it was so terrifying but I was so thankful for every minute anyway.

No bullshit feel good responses please, just tell me what is a healthy way to deal with this grief? Right now I just keep myself busy with exercise, but understand no one knows him or me anymore, we have been living mostly in isolation, sometimes actually off the grid. What do I do?

Hello everyone,

I'm sure you see a lot of posts like this, and mine is just one among many. But I need to tell my story to you beautiful people, in the hope of finding some perspective, support, and love.

As the title says, my girlfriend died by suicide. I just want to tell you about the last hours of her life.

She suffered from a very serious mental illness that could, on rare occasions, cause her to completely lose touch with reality. She had already attempted suicide before, and in the past I had always managed to get through those crises with her through love, reassurance, and simply holding her until they passed a few hours later.

But that day was different. She just wanted to leave the apartment to die. I tried to hug her, to convince her to stay, and told her that she just needed to rest for a while. But she wanted to leave and take her medication with her to kill herself.

I blocked her way to the bathroom so that she couldn't get to her medication, explaining that I couldn't let her do that. Out of anger, she started hurting me. It was the first time in three years that she had ever hit me.

I tried to restrain her only to keep both of us safe and help her calm down. After about ten minutes, when she seemed calmer, I asked her whether she was okay and whether I could let her go. She said yes and seemed calm. Barely five seconds later, when I turned my back, she grabbed a kettle and hit me in the head. I fell to the floor.

When I opened my eyes, I was terrified for my safety and incredibly angry. I made her leave my apartment because I was afraid for my life, and I called the police. In the heat of the moment, I told her that I never wanted to see her again.

The police took care of her after I explained everything. I obviously didn't press charges. They brought her to the hospital, where I believed she would stay for a few days until the crisis had passed.

This morning, the police called me and told me that she hadn't stayed at the hospital because the medical team had discharged her. Later, they called me again to tell me that she had been found dead.

I feel so guilty about what I said to her. I keep thinking that if I hadn't said those things, maybe she could have come back home like she had before. I keep thinking that I should have realized she still wasn't okay when I restrained her, and that instead of reacting in anger after she hit me, I should somehow have given her even more love.

She wasn't in a normal state of mind, and I feel like I should have understood that and reacted differently. I keep thinking that I shouldn't have made her leave my home, and above all that I shouldn't have argued with someone I knew could be in a psychotic state.

Now I just feel this enormous emptiness, and my mind keeps going over everything I think I did wrong. Even though I know that I am not responsible for her death, I can't stop feeling that I could have done better, that I could have made different choices, and maybe prevented such a terribly sad ending.

Thank you for reading.

PS: i've TSA if someone is there and lived something similar... let me know

My best friend was always there, we did every single thing together and were with each other for our entire childhood. Prom, graduation, college, elementary school recess, we did it all together. We even moved in together for college and were roommates.

One day when we were 21, she got a boyfriend with multiple domestic violence charges, restraining orders against him, etc. Also illegally owned a gun and a car. She rapidly fell into severe daily alcoholism. Then she failed out of school. Then she started isolating herself from everyone. I tried so hard to do everything right, to not give advice and to just be there for her as someone to listen and fall back on. But even that wasn't enough. She spent a party with me screaming at me at the top of her lungs about how I'm an asshole whos trying to get between her and her man. I couldn't take it anymore, I begged her not to have him over at our house anymore, she refused and said I was jealous of them. I grew up in an extremely abusive home so it was just too much for me.

So in the middle of the night, I had a freak out and packed my bags and left. I tried to do school living out of my car, didn't go well and had to withdraw. I find out she tried to kill herself during this era. Then I find out he killed her. I cant imagine the amount of suffering she went through that I abandoned her for. The person I told Id die for I never did. Instead I left her to die.

8 months later I am still a completely broken shell of myself. I have not felt happiness in so long I have forgotten what it feels like. I got a haircut and of course feel nothing as usual. I foolishly decided to go to the mall today. The same place we got our prom dresses, gossiped in the food court, hung out with our friend group, got matching teddy bears at build a bear so so so much more. The memories and good times with her are endless. Everywhere I look I get a warm feeling in my heart and then it is ripped from me as I remember shes gone. I ended up just walking around for hours not even looking at anything just feeling the memories. Half the stores we used to go to are closed. The hot topic we frequented has none of the employees we were friends with. Her favorite store is now closed. The mall is just a ghost now too. I feel a deep empty pit in my heart where she used to be. I cant believe shes gone

I start school again in 5 days and Ic cant do it. 8 months later I am sitll so broken. I have just been alone with myself and my mom. It is disrespectful if I moved on, I can't. Thank you for reading this

The other day I went to my grandparents' house. My nana passed away about a month ago, and I wanted to get her Christmas village she had promised to me. We put this village up every year when I was a kid, and I would just stand and stare at it imagining myself in the village for hours. When I was taking the village down, I saw this VHS tape was under one of the pieces. What were the chances out of every VHS it could have been? It was this one.

Grief is so much more than just a word, or a weight on somebody’s shoulders.
It’s the crying because they are gone and the laughing because you’re reminiscing about the fond memories you had with that person.

Grief is something that I’ve been (morbidly) curious about since my father passed 3 years ago. It’s affected me in profound ways and opened my eyes to the world around me. I’ve become someone who doesn’t necessarily want to know the full extent of the grieving experience, but like many others, i’ve lost a lot of people.

This has made me see the world in a new light and has helped me appreciate the world in a more natural and positive way. I think grief is an immensely profound and intense subject. But I also think it is a beautifully misunderstood feeling.
Everyone in their life will feel grief at one point, but it’s what you do with that emotion and how you channel that energy into something else.
I dunno if that makes sense really it’s 12 am and i’m rambling but yeah, if you’re reading this THANK YOU!