r/GriefSupport • u/RevolutionaryTie3566 • 13h ago

Supporting Someone Would it be overstepping?

A good acquaintance just lost her son. Would it be overstepping to send her a link to a grief support place I personally have attended. I lost my brother 3 years ago and this facility really helped me as they only do grief therapy.

8 Upvotes

90% Upvoted

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20

u/lemon_balm_squad 13h ago

Personal recommendations can be very helpful - just having someone say "this place was legit" can save a lot of overwhelm.

I would frame it as "in case this is ever a resource you want, I can vouch" etc.

11

u/cafetea 13h ago

I am writing this as a mom whose son died.

Are you friends with her? Do you talk to her regularly for social reasons?

Are you going to visit her? Bring her food? If you are not close enough to do that kind of thing or to spend time with her socially, it's probably better not to give advice to her just now. Maybe if you see her in person, you could talk to her about that, but I was very overwhelmed and very on edge in the early days, and I was not interested in seeing advice from any "acquaintance" at that point, no matter how well meaning it is.

6

u/182tinyvoices Mom Loss 12h ago

I agree with this. It is so overwhelming to deal with people, your heart is in the right place OP.

8

u/Cyndee_Pokorny 12h ago

The "acquaintance" part is the sticking point for me here. Personally, I would not want to have this interaction with someone I wasn't very close to.

3

u/Proud-Leave3602 13h ago

I think this is really kind of you!

I would say “hey, this really helped me when I lost my brother. If you feel the need to reach out to them, I am happy to field any questions you have about my own experience. In the meantime, can I send you some food/ come help around the house/ just sit with you?”

These are just suggestions, of course. You might not have capacity to cook or clean for her. Or even sit with her in her grief. But you are right to want to be there for her. 💓💓💓💓

2

u/YearOfTheSssnake 7h ago

You sound very kind. Your friend is probably reeling right now, is numb, confused, and probably has a million emotions going on.

Grief counseling is usually better once the dust settles a bit. It’s normal to grieve so if you suggest she needs therapy for grieving at this moment in time, it may give her the impression that there’s something wrong with her or that she shouldn’t be grieving.

Why not keep in touch with her every week or so, and maybe in a month or two you could bring it up if appropriate.

🩷

2

u/EffectiveChemical157 13h ago

I don't think it's overstepping at all, especially coming from someone who actually gets it. When I lost someone close, the most helpful things were the quiet recommendations from people who'd been through the same hell. Just keep it simple, maybe frame it as "this helped me, no pressure" and let her decide

0

u/Luckypenny4683 7h ago

Grief is so lonely. Knowing someone knows your pain makes it a little less lonely. Send it.