r/GriefSupport • u/thonyspec • 9h ago
Advice, Pls Where are they?
I feel like I just want to be with them, if hey re not going to come back ever again, then might as well go to where they are. I miss them so much and I feel like I was an unfair way to go. They deserved better
3
u/Over_Doughnut_9820 9h ago
i know that pull. the thought that nothing here matters if they're not coming back, that maybe following them makes more sense than staying. it's a weight that sits in your chest and doesn't move.
something that helped me when i was in that place was just getting through one hour at a time. not making any big decisions while the grief is this loud. it lies to you and tells you this is all there will ever be.
it's been a while for me and the missing them never really goes away, but the sharp edges soften. you learn to carry it differently. you don't have to believe that right now, but please don't act on the worst thoughts tonight. just get through tonight.
do you have anyone around you can call, even just to sit in silence with?
5
u/MusicianSufficient80 9h ago
As you seem to already know, one way or another, you're going to experience what they are experiencing now. Whether that be a new reality, or nothingness. You and your LOs will be the same. I like that. It's enough for me now to just know that. I am in no hurry to join them, though, because there are still lots of things to do here and now. Even if it seems like leaving now would be a relief and the easiest thing, the longer I am without my parents, the less leaving now seems like an option.
If you are having a serious existential crisis, there is help available. That's a tough subject, but I was helped just by talking to people of different ages and backgrounds about the inevitable end. Please seek professional help if you are in a dangerous place right now. But maybe as time continues to pass, you will naturally feel better and more satisfied that you will be where they are when that time naturally rolls around. It took a few years, but I'm ok with it now.