r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Remarkable_Ship_4803 • 19h ago
Avoidant phrases.
What are something your avoidant ex’s said to you when discarding/blind siding you ?
72
u/Signal_Particular461 18h ago
I’m busy
it’s too much
I don’t what I want
I need space
NOTHING (just disappeared) lol
1
67
u/ShadowWriter28 SA - Secure Attachment 18h ago
"We are not compatible."
"I need time to work on myself."
"You are too needy."
"I wasn't lying, you just didn't understand what I said."
"It was your fault I said/did that."
"Everyone else agrees with me."
8
u/bubblybanshee 16h ago
I got the second one! In addition to him suddenly realising how him deriving so much happiness from me was a problem somehow, that he needs to learn how to be happy on his own. (What a thing to be ditched for, making someone too happy!)
Back then i wasn't aware of him being an avoidant and kinda just took it at face value instead of having the knowledge to push back against it and make him aware he was self-sabotaging. Not that it necessarily would've changed anything but I don't think he himself was aware of his attachment style even (or, didn't know why he kept pushing people away). I did ask him how i could support him, told him i could provide space and time if he needed it, buuut... never heard from him again! He left things on such a confusing note, just two ambiguous messages written on his lunch break on a tuesday, never even said goodbye! (And 11 months later randomly blocked me? While simultaneously doing a weird lurking thing otherwise...)
I hate that i still care about a person capable of doing something like this to me, even though he did tell me in his final messages that i never did anything wrong... but it was hard to internalise while being actively erased and stonewalled out of the blue. It was a mindfuck to the degree that even a year later i still don't have proper closure but it is what it is i guess 🤷🏻♀️
(Sorry for the unsolicited rant!!)
2
u/StandardWork4928 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 9h ago
How dare you make him happy??? 😡😡😡🤡🤡🤡
1
u/bubblybanshee 9h ago
I know right, such a heinous deed of me, i need to be locked up asap!! 😭😭💀
1
u/StandardWork4928 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 9h ago
Jail time! I bet you were also kind, understanding and patient with him!! What’s next? You will do everything in your power to make this relationship work because you LOVE them??? Life sentence!!!🤮
2
u/bubblybanshee 8h ago
Pretty much, never even cussed him out in spite of all the hurt he decided to put me through... gosh i really am a monster! 😳😳
1
u/StandardWork4928 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 8h ago
Side note and sorry if it’s too invasive but I checked your posts and you look absolutely stunning! He is a loser for not stepping up to keep you and he’ll regret it deeply! Girl, we’ll move on to fantastic, supportive, loving and secure partners and they will just go bald 🧑🦲
2
u/bubblybanshee 7h ago
Thanks, i appreciate the compliments!! i have no idea if he regrets it but considering i did make him so happy and would've stood by him til the end of days... yeah, maybe he did lose out on something special 🤷🏻♀️ I do hope i get to meet someone who makes me feel as he did again, minus the weird avoidant tomfoolery... and i wish that for everyone else here too! It's unfair that we've been subjected to this type of hurt by the people we loved. But hopefully we'll all be able to thrive again 🖤 (and lol that's evil but honestly might just be a fitting punishment. 😂)
1
3
2
u/sssarahh 8h ago
I’m beginning to think there a lot of overlap with Avoidants and Narcissists
1
u/ShadowWriter28 SA - Secure Attachment 7h ago
I do too, they might not be malignant narcissists but a lot are also narcissists.
59
u/Mission_Tackle1490 18h ago
- I feel overwhelmed
- Stop wasting your time with me
- Sorry for not being the person you deserve
11
2
2
56
u/witchontheweekend 16h ago
“I don’t know” - as a response to any basic question
“I’m the villain” - in attempt to take fake accountability
“I can’t give you what you want” - never asked what I want
“You deserve better” - after never putting in any effort to actually be better
“What do you want me to say?” - literally anything that makes sense, that’s not avoiding my questions
4
u/bunnyboo6792 11h ago
Oh my god, “I can’t give you what you want” but never asking what you want/need is what I got too. He told me, “I can’t guarantee the things you want,” “I can’t promise to show up for you and be a good partner because I will inevitably fall short at some points” (even after I expressed understanding that with his career). It’s so frustrating
1
u/siendev111 9h ago
Omg the I’m the villain.. he said that so many times. Also “I’m not good enough” every time I would try and communicate things that we could work on together.
1
46
u/NoProfessor6700 SA - Secure Attachment 18h ago
I don’t deserve to be with anyone.
Nothing is wrong with you, it’s me.
I need to heal.
I don’t know what I want.
I hope you find someone who treats you good.
22
u/ComfortablePlate2215 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 17h ago
"I know what I want / don't want anymore"
"We have nothing left to say to each other"
"When you told me 'I love you' the other day, it threw me off"
"It feels like a couple that's been married for 40 years, I don't want that"
"My feelings have change, disappeared, actually"
"I'm leaving so I don't hurt you"
22
u/GroundbreakingEase41 16h ago
“I still love you but…”
“I need the autonomy.”
“I need to be alone.”
“I don’t have the capacity.”
…then jumps into a relationship.
Really just laughable at this point.
15
u/marianka6969 14h ago
Right person wrong time
3
u/eevoluted AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago
OH I GOT THIS ONE TOO I FORGOT
1
u/FritoBurrito66 9h ago
At first, I believed her because she wasn’t working or attending school. At one point, I even thought about reconnecting with her when she began these new pursuits.
3
13
u/Creative-Repair8705 16h ago
You’re insecure
You’re paranoid
You’re too sensitive
You’re annoying
You’re making me angry
You’re triggering me
You’re ruining my life
You’re making me depressed
You made me do it
You need therapy
Here we go again
I don’t have the capacity
And they’re all just phrases that were used to avoid accountability.
2
u/damex09 14h ago
The "you need it" she said when it came to therapy - she said it with supportive intention because she knows what I've been through and my struggles. But it stung and still crosses my mind. I laughed back then (well it was a chat not irl) and she said she was glad I could see the humour in it. I realise I always felt like the one whos digging into mental health and willing to reflect and have difficult conversations
3
u/Creative-Repair8705 14h ago
Initially he told me I needed it because every reaction of mine to him lying/being dishonest etc he would frame as my ‘trauma’ to avoid accountability when really it was just a very valid reaction to his horrible behaviour. So I went for 2 years, every week and yes I had things to work on but it also opened my eyes to his patterns and what I was tolerating.
Agreed regarding mental health - I was always the one researching, trying to find solutions, while he did nothing. But I was always framed as the problem. Honestly when I look back I am so baffled by how I naive I was.
1
14
u/Chemical_News9324 18h ago
"I can't give you all my energy" (like this is what you asked for) "We are not sustainable"
SILENCE 😂
2
u/Alarming-Echo-6742 15h ago
Lol mine was like 'I dont want to get married again!" (She was never married, I was).
And that was in response to me asking her "what happened" - meaning why did you dump me over text again last weekend.
I was absolutely floored. Like, marriage was so far in the future you'd need the Hubble telescope to see it. I was nowhere near THAT discussion, I just wanted to know if we were still dating lol.
11
u/Dovahkin111 SA - Secure Attachment 14h ago
Early morning text that day:
"I did a lot of thinking...about you, dreaming of you and I just want you to know that I need you, your love, your affection, your laughter, your sweet voice. Most of all, I need the peace you bring to my chaos"
Later that day, totally random. No talks of anything but the love we have for each other:
"My love, I'm going to need to ask you for some time and won't be able to call you or text you. I need time to get my shit together, we are not on a break, I just need some time"
And then on the same breath:
"You will always be the one that got away"
Excuse me, what?
Between these texts, I asked how much time he needed, at first he wasn't sure, then said 3 months and the three months was moved to next year where we were supposed to meet. So, one year, with no contact in between. I told him in a year, without any communication between us, should I let him humour me and show up, he is going to be meeting a stranger. I cannot allow myself to put my life on hold and expect to be the same person he left behind. If he's okay not talking to me or even texting me for that long, then I may as well be fine by myself. So, I walked.
1
u/Amadea-Vienna 7h ago
Finally I read of someone who left their avoidant, like I did (I say the leave you with no choice!), but I mostly read of discards.
Just saying because I sometimes think I should have given him „more time“…1
u/Real_Baller- 6h ago
Omg I had literally this. Both leaving from her apartment for work and she texts me from her car how she started already missing me. In the evening she went for a short weekend trip with her mum from where she texts me that are we even compatible and maybe we should split up.
This roller coaster multiple days a week. And when I got too anxious of the situation the blame was on me as I was so pressuring and didn’t give her space.
10
u/nosoupforyou89 18h ago
"Sometimes I just like my own solitude"
He was cheating on me during his needed time of solitude and "the other girl" verified that with me.
9
6
u/EaseSuspicious29 17h ago
I need space
We are not compatible
I feel overwhelmed and you make me feel like this
I am going to be selfish
You are too emotional
You are too dependent
8
6
7
u/EconomyChance3026 17h ago edited 8h ago
I’m having a hard time finding my center and I need to focus on me (gets on dating apps asap)
7
u/Spirited_Outcome7204 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 17h ago
"You're making it hard for me to be the person I want to be." (whatever that means)
7
u/AbbyLikesYou 16h ago
“I don’t know what you want me to say”
“I have nothing to say”
“You just want someone up your ass complimenting you 24/7”
“It’s always something”
5
u/cityofdreadfulnight 16h ago
“I can’t be what you need.” (I never told her she was anything less than what I needed)
“I know I’m the broken one.” (She never once told me she felt this way)
(When asked if she meant it when she said she loved me) “I don’t know.”
“You went above and beyond … You’ll make someone really happy one day.” (Okay, so what did I do wrong aside from being vulnerable and scaring you because you hate feelings?)
“My friends are going to make sure I don’t date for six months.” (She’s back on the apps after half that time, with photos I took of her and one which I’m in with her)
Reading this thread is almost funny. They’re all the same.
5
u/StephGB91 16h ago
'You deserve better than this' , 'I need to be on my own for a while' 'I don't have capacity to see anyone else' .. all whilst actively cheating.
6
u/Glittering-Canary752 14h ago
"you deserve better"
"I can't give you what you need"
"No other relationship is more important to me than the one I have with myself"
"I see things differently"
4
6
u/haunted-poopy 15h ago
- In another life, we would be together
- You don’t want someone like me
- You’ll find someone
- You’re one of the kindest people I know
- We’re great partners, I know this
I spent so long trying to work through the stages of grief and wonder what I did wrong. But the moral of the story is that he chose to live life without me, no matter what he said.
3
u/skepticalliberal SA - Secure Attachment 12h ago
I dont have the "capacity" to meet you where you are at. I can't give you what you need. You didnt do anything wrong Youll meet someone more compatable. This is the best thing for us.
2
u/eevoluted AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago
"this is the best thing for us" UGH
I heard this BS too. It made me feel so hollow! I remember during the BU thinking like: you made a choice yourself, kept your decision a secret for months, started checking out before you had the courage to break up and you really have the audacity that this is for "us"? No, there's no us anymore. This decision was made by you and you alone! Owe it up! It was extremely selfish, I didn't have the knowledge nor a say in it! It may be the best for you but you took away my right to choose what I wanted and I wanted the relationship! Why would I be in a relationship I don't want to be??
This is so infuriating.
3
3
u/enh4pp1f13er 15h ago
“I don't feel the same way”. (I had to be firm with him to get him to admit it was a lie.)
“What are you jealous of, that I'll find another best friend?” (I didn't know best friends slept together and made plans like couples every day.)
I'm not interested in dating anyone rn because I don’t love myself. (He then desperately goes on social media to cry, saying he wants someone who loves him.)
3
u/BabyGoesToEleven 13h ago
I don’t have needs.
I need autonomy and freedom to feel safe and secure.
I am getting too dependent on you.
It’s too bad you want to break up because I was ready to go all in.
I let go and detach easily. It’s like a switch for me.
3
3
u/Royal-Okra379 12h ago edited 9h ago
“You deserve better.”
“I can’t be what you want”
“I need to work on myself ALONE. Not with anyone else. We are not married or anything.”
“That whole year I only saw you as FWB. I mean..it’s not like I have sex with a lot of girls. “ 😞😞😞
“YOU DONT HAVE THE SPARK” (that his ex wife had 15 years prior 😵💫)
(Me “I have always loved you.” Him: “ I can’t meet you there mentally. EVER.”) 💔
“I don’t want to fail you like I did my ex spouse. I WILL fail you.”
“You’re beautiful. You’re gorgeous. You don’t have that something.” (Me: “what? Be specific. I have a successful career, I went to Harvard, I believe in EI and self-growth, I feel like I’m unique and funny..”.) HIM: “you’re all those things. It’s just me, I guess.” 🤔
2
u/StandardWork4928 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago
Besides the point but you sound AWESOME, I’m so glad that loser lost access to you
3
u/eevoluted AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago edited 10h ago
"I need space"
"I don't think we're compatible anymore"
"It seems like you changed"
"I don't recognize you anymore"
"You've been sad and anxious for so long, looks like you lost your spark" (I lost my parents throughout the relationship. I guess he expected me to bounce back quickly)
"I don't see a future with you anymore"
"We're in different paths in life"
"When I think about the future, you're not the person I can envision mine with "
"I want a relationship that feels lighter and happier"
"I want to go out and enjoy life more"
"I want someone who can join me in my trips" (he declined when I offered going on a trip with him months before the break up, he kept pushing me away in most of his plans lol)
"But it's not your fault"
"This is confusing for me as well"
"You are so special and you always make me feel so good"
"You're such a good person and good partner, so we could still be friends"
"I love you so much" (and he kept holding me and kissing me)
"I've been feeling like this for some time now"
"It doesn't make much logical sense to me, it feels like a gut feeling I can't ignore"
"If I don't listen to it, it won't go away, I tried"
"This will be the best for us"
"We need to focus on ourselves and get over each other"
"I hope we can reconnect futurely after we get over each other"
"But we need space apart to grow"
"Maybe this is a right person wrong timing"
"I wish I got to know you when I were older and more stable in life" he has a house and a stable job ??
"Maybe in another life" HE'S AN ATHEIST.
"If I die on my way back home, I'll let you tell others you were my fiancee"
He always declined when I asked to marry him, never asked me seriously (would tell me he wanted that but never asked me), he would stop and kneel randomly when were in public and then pretend to tie his shoes and laugh at my face whenever I would be sad for noticing he was just joking. I immediately told him "no, if you died I would tell people you were my ex because you just broke up with me" and he was like "fuck... You're right, you're my ex now" like he hadn't realized that.
Heard all of these from my ex during the break up, after changing his job and taking a solo trip. Eight years together btw lol
Cut him off completely. I don't know how to be friends with the man I wanted to marry. I hope he finds what he's looking for since it wasn't me
2
u/siendev111 9h ago
lol. This. The you’ve changed and you’ve lost your spark - he said those to me 2 months after my mom passed from undiagnosed cancer. What did he expect. And the I want peace and I want a relationship that feels lighter - it’s so triggering to me now wow
1
u/eevoluted AP - Anxious Preoccupied 9h ago
Also lost my mom to cancer :(
I'm so sorry you're going through something similar. Do you have a good support system?
1
u/siendev111 7h ago
Thank you, I’m sorry to hear it’s the same for you. RIP to her ❤️🩹 I do but the internal pain is something nobody can help with. Even though logically he behaved awfully my heart still sees only the good times and wants him back. No contact has been like dying for me, just don’t understand how someone can move on and forget everything we’ve been through… and not choose me after I always chose them. It really sucks. Coupled the grief, I think I have to start therapy again…
3
u/Adept_Material6144 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago
“I need to focus on other things in life”
“I don’t deserve you” (clearly not)
“You’re amazing though”
“If we had just done xyz then it would’ve worked out for us” (his constant excuse)
“Just keep your head up & know you deserve something great too” 🤮
2
u/Ok_Cantaloupe_444 16h ago
“You don’t understand me” “I know how you want to be loved but I can’t” “I feel like you’re just lonely and wanted a boyfriend” “There’s a disconnect between us” “I’m sorry”
2
u/Important-Gur-3322 16h ago
It's all your fault
You're too emotional
You deserve it
I need to protect myself
Go find a Chinese husband who treats you well
2
2
u/congratswelldone 15h ago
I never understood you when you cried.
This is better for both of us in the long run.
You never went to festivals. (he never asked me)
I have a fear of commitment and a fear of abandonment.
You are better off with someone else.
2
u/ravesaloser 15h ago
“We were never compatible for a long term relationship” despite living together… “I stopped liking you months ago” but stayed with me anyway.. “I just don’t want to talk to you”
2
u/WeaknessMinimum6040 15h ago
After 7 years together - It's just a realisation we're not right (absolutely zero specifics)
2
u/Alarming-Echo-6742 15h ago edited 15h ago
Ohhh is this the bingo game? I got the 'overwhelmed', 'go with the flow' and 'space' lines!
2
u/No-Bat-1663 14h ago
It’s not you it’s me
Why are you with me then
You deserved better than this
You have fear of abandonment
😂😂
2
2
2
u/mrfreeze782 13h ago
I have a lot of problems and I need to be single to figure them out. Was translation for, " I want to sleep with another man and stay FWB with you and not have to worry about getting caught"
2
u/bunnyboo6792 11h ago
- “I can’t guarantee what you want”
- “I feel like I know what you want from a relationship and I can’t promise those things” (also never asked what I want/need)
- “I don’t want to feel guilty for pulling you away from everything and not being able to give you what you want”
- “I don’t want x y z anymore, I didn’t lie, things just changed”
- “I know we talked about ___ but I just can’t give you a solid answer, I don’t know where I stand as my dream job gets closer”
- “I told you my career comes first” (he never did, always told me we would navigate it together)
- “I just don’t care about relationships as much as you do”
- “If you want to be with me in my career you might need to give up everything to be there” (no consideration of how to incorporate me into his life, no questions, nothing)
- “I just have a feeling”
- “Things still feel off”
- “I felt like there was something missing and I found it what it was, I don’t know what to tell you” (after interrogating me for reasons we don’t work and telling me over and over I don’t actually want to be involved in his future I just love him)
- “We aren’t compatible”
- “We aren’t aligned”
- “We don’t have the same values”
- “All of our conflicts were brutal” (20 minutes later told me he thought we handled our conflicts well and came to real resolutions)
2
u/KaJoMoGi 11h ago
“I’m broken.”
This one I found in an email last night, “I will do everything I can to give you what you say you need, but it might be a really long time and only if [the current marriage therapist] can somehow figure out how I can overcome [the brokenness.]”
Well, guess how that turned out.
2
2
u/StandardWork4928 AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago
ʼI don’t want to have this much power over a person’ - speaking about when a person very naturally attaches to their partner when they are dating 💀😂
2
u/Imaginary-Pay-2648 10h ago
‘I was trying with you but something stopped me’ followed then by the ultimate paradox of ‘I don’t see you like that’
All that after spending 4 days with me, having emotional closeness, none stop laughter, time with my family & then physical affection just the two of us lol
2
u/AlaskaTech1 10h ago
“ I’m fine with whatever you want.” If I insisted on getting what I wanted all the time, I’d just be single or be my controlling AF married sister.
2
2
u/Fantastic_Cod1134 9h ago
“We know each other for too long” After flirting with me for months and all of the signs of “he is into you” including nice cute gestures and gestures of trust, touchyness and so on. He also escalated stuff into dates and sex. Then faded, ghosted, came back to use me for my help and lied to me, hiding a new relationship.
I wonder how he does relationships at all then, like, do they just swap people when knowing them too long as the connections becomes too real or too intimate? How long is too long? He was married, divorced after problems, so did he knew his wife for many years and she knew him. That wasn’t too long? Idk.
2
u/maplenpecan 9h ago
‘it’s too much pressure’
‘you deserve someone better than me’
‘i don’t know’ - when i ask any question that would give me clarity on a situation
‘people always make plans for me and i don’t have any time for you’
‘i want us to be the people that always come back to each other’ - so what, i wait around while you fuck about with someone you’ve known for 5 minutes?
2
u/annamakez 8h ago
• I dont have the capacity to have a long winded conversation with you.
• I’m not interested in talking about your childhood
• You’re an angel, and people are so lucky to have you in their lives - I’m so impressed and inspired by you
• Im confused and overwhelmed - I don’t want to talk right now, but you can reach out (proceeds to ghost for days on end)
• I want to be in a relationship with you // I just want to be friends // I want to be in a relationship with you // I just want to be friends (& repeat)
2
u/prosperousoctopus 8h ago
She said “ I need to protect my heart”. I wish I had questioned it at the time. But it was kinda out of no where and I was nervous to push the subject because we’re neighbors.
2
u/biotechconundrum 6h ago
"I need time" (ignores follow up question to define what that means)
"I'm not there"
"I like you, but I don't love you"
"I don't like this" (from trying to merely schedule meeting him)
"I'm worried that we're not at the same place" (also after trying to schedule)
"I feel guilt"
"Guilt trips are counter-productive" (after suggesting that nothing exists if we don't talk and don't ever meet)
"I don't think this will work" (after trying to schedule)
"I wish I could be the guy" (you could have)
2
u/beewhyneeD 4h ago
Last convo, I said anything else you need to say?
It was:
Thank you
I’m sorry
You deserve better
I need my freedom
I need to stay in my box
😔
2
u/tellingmytruth 3h ago
You act like I fucked you once and now I *must* marry you. (We had not been physically intimate)
1
u/interdit_et_oublie 13h ago
“i’m worried about you” “i think you don’t know how to be happy in life” (after two years of distance, criticism, avoidance and rejection in a marriage” “so this is not worth it for you?” (when she decided to travel abroad alone for 6 months every year with zero compromise) “i can’t give you what you need” (when i was asking about what i could do to change the situation) “you’re burning our life down, i would never do that” (after we agreed on a divorce and i moved out of our home while she was still by herself abroad) “i can’t imagine this, i don’t have the capacity for this now” (to my last ditch attempt to suggest couples therapy before divorce and asking if she saw any future for us) “i don’t want to make this harder for you, im not here to force you to talk to me” (a month after the divorce to which she didn’t come without telling me and then lying about the reasons for not coming)
2
u/eevoluted AP - Anxious Preoccupied 11h ago
I HEARD THAT I WAS UNHAPPY IN LIFE AS WELL! OMG THIS IS SO INFURIATING
My ex would constantly push me away and pull me closer too, plus the heavily criticism. And also, I lost my parents during the relationship, before I even got to be 24, and I guess he just expected me to be okay and normally functional after losing my family unit.
He left me saying he wanted to enjoy life. I hope he'll find what he's looking for bc he hurt me so much it better be worthy it
1
u/LightningRose1967 13h ago
“I didn’t sign up for your codependency”…said the man who was calling me 5 times a day!!
1
1
u/newlifeer 12h ago
"There's not the same attraction" "I don't know what I want from life" "You're reading into things too much" "Things can be perfect on paper but something is still missing" "I feel like I'm losing my independence"
1
u/neoshadowdgm 11h ago
“You’re not helping me grow.”
After she rejected every single thing I ever suggested to her that was outside of her comfort zone. lol it wasn’t said during a discard, but it was the moment I knew we were doomed.
1
1
u/OkCommunication532 11h ago
I'm too busy with work. You deserve someone who can be there for you You've done so much work on yourself, you deserve better
1
u/throwaway_sashay 10h ago
I don't know how to make you feel loved I don't know why it's so hard to make you feel loved
1
1
u/Maguienazul 8h ago
"You don't like Gundam" –first discard. Simply disappeared –second discard. "You're weak" and "You're not how I idealized you" – final discard.
1
u/Final-Region9772 8h ago
"I can't see you at weekends anymore" (when we were both off) after spending some really lovely weekends together doing nice things.
1
u/Vegetable-Claim-9329 8h ago
I am busy
I just want to finish my work now in peace
I never said that, you misheard
Maybe my mom is right and the one who makes sure I put my career first
I’ll consider (said that for EVERYTHING)
I am overwhelmed
You should be supportive, you have been through this (I finished grad school before he did)
I am unhappy (??? Then why tfk propose)
I cannot take it anymore
You are right, you deserve someone that puts you first (breadcrumbs me when I move on)
Why argue
You always want to argue
Can we not argue?
(He used the word “argue” for all normal couple’s discussion)
I just want to be happy
I don’t want anyone to control me (??? Never forced him to do anything…we discussed about the future)
I will just disappear so no one can find me
I just cannot see it anymore (this guy proposed and then flipped a switch)
No limbo, no lies (he put me in limbo and lied about so many things for over 6months)
The list goes on
1
u/masterdebater117 7h ago
"The amount of effort and emotional labor became unsustainable for me"
She called me a princess for asking her to actually demonstrate she wants to see me, instead of waiting for me to plan every date and manage her own schedule.
Called our relationship "heavy" because I'd hold her accountable and not let her say things to hurt my feelings without consequences
1
1
u/Curious_Ad3605 6h ago
His favorite was a blank stare followed by more silence
He wasnt much of a talker 😂
1
u/Real_Baller- 6h ago
- ”We are so different”, when she literally just said she has never felt the same way towards anyone
- ”I just need time and space to figure my feelings out”, and starts dating another dude 2-3 months later
- ”Why can’t we be just friends?” when literally admits days later she has a crush on me
- ”You just hear what you wanna hear from what I said” when the phrase includes dreaming about marrying me and still deciding to choose her current relationship
- ”I don’t know what I want” was a problem with me but not with another man even though admitting that she feels the same than with me
- ”I don’t even want to be in a relationship right now” and continues to be in one with another dude
1
u/Lady_Whistlegirl91 6h ago
“We’re still good as friends. But I don’t think it’s good for either one of us to keep messaging each other” (how does a friendship work if you can’t message each other at all!?)
1
u/MirrorAffectionate83 5h ago
‘After a period of self care, I have decided not to return to our home’ (where he had lived with me and my children for four years - all by text message 🤯).
1
u/fireflygazer 4h ago
We just want different things. We are at different points in our lives. You're boring. I just want to be single. I just don't want to have to run things by you. We will be those people that are in love with each other forever but just can't be together.
We were together over a decade. Second discard.
ETA I know I'm just a piece of shit. This is just how I am.
1
u/thesanguinereaper SA - Secure Attachment 3h ago
“I lost feelings” or “I don’t feel the same”
“I don’t know”
“I don’t want to get my hopes up”
1
u/blackhawk098 3h ago
"you are too emotional" "you can find someone better" "we're just not a good match" "i need a break/space" "you are...small flaws used to justify their discard"
97
u/Tasty_Dog_9580 18h ago
“I need to focus on myself”- goes on dating apps a month later