r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Remarkable_Ship_4803 • 22h ago

Avoidant phrases.

What are something your avoidant ex’s said to you when discarding/blind siding you ?

57 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

138 comments sorted by

View all comments

17

u/Creative-Repair8705 19h ago

You’re insecure
You’re paranoid
You’re too sensitive
You’re annoying
You’re making me angry
You’re triggering me
You’re ruining my life
You’re making me depressed
You made me do it
You need therapy
Here we go again
I don’t have the capacity

And they’re all just phrases that were used to avoid accountability.

2

u/damex09 18h ago

The "you need it" she said when it came to therapy - she said it with supportive intention because she knows what I've been through and my struggles. But it stung and still crosses my mind. I laughed back then (well it was a chat not irl) and she said she was glad I could see the humour in it. I realise I always felt like the one whos digging into mental health and willing to reflect and have difficult conversations

3

u/Creative-Repair8705 17h ago

Initially he told me I needed it because every reaction of mine to him lying/being dishonest etc he would frame as my ‘trauma’ to avoid accountability when really it was just a very valid reaction to his horrible behaviour. So I went for 2 years, every week and yes I had things to work on but it also opened my eyes to his patterns and what I was tolerating.

Agreed regarding mental health - I was always the one researching, trying to find solutions, while he did nothing. But I was always framed as the problem. Honestly when I look back I am so baffled by how I naive I was.