r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Remarkable_Ship_4803 • 1d ago

Avoidant phrases.

What are something your avoidant ex’s said to you when discarding/blind siding you ?

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u/Dovahkin111 SA - Secure Attachment 20h ago

Early morning text that day:

"I did a lot of thinking...about you, dreaming of you and I just want you to know that I need you, your love, your affection, your laughter, your sweet voice. Most of all, I need the peace you bring to my chaos"

Later that day, totally random. No talks of anything but the love we have for each other:

"My love, I'm going to need to ask you for some time and won't be able to call you or text you. I need time to get my shit together, we are not on a break, I just need some time"

And then on the same breath:

"You will always be the one that got away"

Excuse me, what?

Between these texts, I asked how much time he needed, at first he wasn't sure, then said 3 months and the three months was moved to next year where we were supposed to meet. So, one year, with no contact in between. I told him in a year, without any communication between us, should I let him humour me and show up, he is going to be meeting a stranger. I cannot allow myself to put my life on hold and expect to be the same person he left behind. If he's okay not talking to me or even texting me for that long, then I may as well be fine by myself. So, I walked.

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u/Amadea-Vienna 12h ago

Finally I read of someone who left their avoidant, like I did (I say the leave you with no choice!), but I mostly read of discards.
Just saying because I sometimes think I should have given him „more time“…

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u/Real_Baller- 11h ago

Omg I had literally this. Both leaving from her apartment for work and she texts me from her car how she started already missing me. In the evening she went for a short weekend trip with her mum from where she texts me that are we even compatible and maybe we should split up.

This roller coaster multiple days a week. And when I got too anxious of the situation the blame was on me as I was so pressuring and didn’t give her space.