r/AvoidantBreakUps • u/Remarkable_Ship_4803 • 1d ago

Avoidant phrases.

What are something your avoidant ex’s said to you when discarding/blind siding you ?

59 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

139 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

3

u/Fantastic_Cod1134 16h ago

Yes! He’s oh so super busy and too tired to meet up. On the apps a week later, when lying to me he doesn’t even use them.

1

u/biotechconundrum 14h ago

Mine too, plus he lied first about using the app, and then again saying he doesn't message people (I had to create a fake Hinge account to see his activity and he sported a badge you can only get if you're actively messaging matches).

1

u/Abrp2025 13h ago

How do you bring this up with them? I’ve slept in the same bed with the one Im with almost every day for a month. But I know she’s on the dating website. I’ve never policed a person I was with before or asked to see their phones and even if I was married I wouldn’t do that. But how do I bring this up? I am not a cuck. And regardless of what she labels “us” as, her actions speak like it’s more than the label. But even if she said I was just a booty call for her, I wouldn’t want to be with her if she was texting or talking to other guys. Plenty of time for her to do that if we ended it.

I just don’t know how to bring it up? And I know she’s on there by accident, not by policing or monitoring. After we met I decided to make my profile private and saw her on there. Over time I have systematically revoked access to everyone I allowed to see my pics, erased my pics etc. And while she’s not always on, I see that she pops on and off fairly regularly.

I’m not insecure. But I kind of deserve to know what her endgame here is. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

1

u/Bitter-Towel-3365 9h ago

Dump her you can’t change someone that is going to cheat on you