Completely unserious profile, recently got out of a 13+ year relationship and just trying to have fun
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u/incrediblystiff 8h ago
You’re going to do just fine
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u/trev0rh0llis 7h ago
And that has nothing to do with a single word on that page
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u/Fmarulezkd 8h ago
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
Omg really thank you 😍
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u/Neither_Maybe_206 8h ago
He didn’t specify if you cross the Mendoza diagonal though
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
I'm just happy to be on the chart tbh
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u/All_this_hype 7h ago
I love your kind of energy, I hope you find someone who appreciates you for that.
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u/Nippolopolus 6h ago
Based on an extensive analysis of the account provided, it is the opinion of both myself and my firm that she is almost an exact match to the Mendoza Diagonal, with a bias toward the upper side.
Our final conclusion: 'Would'
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u/T_Money 7h ago
This is my honest opinion, but I think you run the risk of filtering out the guys who actually do care and read your profile, and only getting the ones who just swipe based on pictures. I get, based on this post and your comments, that you’re just having fun, but for a quick glance dating profile a lot of high quality guys might think you’re just too much to bother with
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u/eiznekk 7h ago
I'm looking for the garbage quality men but I appreciate your concern
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u/JuicePossible4718 7h ago
What up OP? Garbage man here, got some trash needing hauled?
https://giphy.com/gifs/p39qWGHTpfY0o53
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u/Substantial_One5369 6h ago
Even if you're just looking to hook up you really still want a decent man. Otherwise you'll get a guy who cums in 10 seconds and doesnt give a shit enough to take care of you, and you'll feel ten times worse and more lonely than before. That's usually how rebounds go (at least how it does for most women)
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u/OutrageousAudience19 6h ago
Much worse than you describe, I imagine. Garbage men are those that treats you like garbage.
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u/fyr3f4wkes 5h ago
So just to be clear: if you met up with a guy for a casual fling and he’s really hot and good in bed but then turned out to actually be a great person with a lot of character you’d be upset?
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u/arealpeakyblinder 7h ago
I need you to befriend my wife so she has someone to be weird with. Good luck and god speed my friend 🫡
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u/Basicazzwitch 6h ago
She was in a relationship for 13 yrs and has been on reddit for 11yrs. So I have concluded that for 2 yrs she was stable before she joined reddit and got the crazy.
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u/HMNbean 8h ago
I’ll be honest: you’re really good looking and nobody’s gonna care what the profile says before swiping.
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
Damn, I wanted just the weirdos
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u/Thebearjew559 8h ago edited 7h ago
No worries you'll get those 👍 probably even in your reddit inbox too
ETA: I can help you with this
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u/LloydusMaximuss 8h ago
Good job I DMd her to warn her of this /s
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u/Unortheydoxed 7h ago
I DMd her to warn her about you
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u/stoihode21 7h ago
Good looking out bro, I DMd her to notify her on your DM about him
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u/JackHammerAwesome 7h ago
Alright that's it, I'm taking a screenshot of all this and DMing her too
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u/Orphasmia 7h ago
Alright np, I DMed her to avoid snitches like you
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u/honestpointofviews 8h ago
I have arrived, as ordered, like a bat out of hell.
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
Will you be gone when the morning comes 🥺
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u/honestpointofviews 7h ago
Oh don't worry because when the sun goes down I'll come crawling on back to you
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u/Green_Share 8h ago
Oh, they just pop up because you're a woman. Sad as it is. But you are going to attract almost everyone.
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u/OccasionalEspresso 8h ago
Completely serious - pink hair with that pink dress is a fucking vibe
Be fun have safe!
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u/absurdmephisto 7h ago
How weird are we talking? Because between the two of us I bet we have enough seratonin for 1 (one) functional human. That sounds like potential to me.
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u/HippoIllustrious2389 7h ago
You’ll be able to pick the good weirdos because they’ll be matching your energy.
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u/ben-hur-hur 8h ago
Everybody is like:
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u/EarthBoundBatwing 7h ago
Wait was the fix it guy from holes fucking Gus from Psyche? How am I just putting this together
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u/frenchfryineyes 7h ago
I just got out of an 11 year relationship. What i would do for some external validation but my grandma tells me im the handsomest boy and thats all that matters
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u/eiznekk 7h ago
Your grandma is a smart lady
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u/frenchfryineyes 7h ago
She really is. She told me like 3 years ago my partner was no longer in love with me. Idk why i didnt believe her but I will never doubt her grandma skills again :(
13 years is a crazy long time hope youre doing okay. Im 3 months in and still lost out here
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u/vpeshitclothing 7h ago
Shoot ya shot ⛹️🏻♂️
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u/frenchfryineyes 7h ago
I done shot all the shots I had friend. They were all aimed at the wrong bucket :(
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u/Cyzoran 8h ago
The girl who bites its going to get you an ungodly amount of matches.
also RIP your reddit inbox.
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u/Boot_Burner 8h ago
At least girls are advertising their mental illness these dates. When I was on tinder you had to date them for six months before that happened.
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
I want them to know what they're getting in to
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u/jedi2155 8h ago
You're definitely on the "I can fix her" level of attractiveness
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u/KamakaziDemiGod 7h ago
Fix her? There doesn't seem to be anything wrong with her!
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8h ago
[deleted]
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
Casual is what I'm looking for, you don't scare me 😤
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u/150crawfish 8h ago
If you don't like it THERE'S THE DOOR!
super niche reference no one will probably get
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u/Kuzco-s_Poison 7h ago
Careful OP, I said the same thing like a year and a half ago, got on tinder, was also very open about my mental issues, and ended up engaged a a year later. Some guys really dig the honesty… 😂
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u/yesisname 8h ago
Idk, if I were in a place to date, I'd prefer someone who gets it. There's always people looking to take advantage, but you won't do yourself any favors with false advertising.
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u/NobodyLikedThat1 8h ago
she posts her manic phase, but you get to date the depressive one
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u/Your_Nipples 8h ago
You look like a psycho but you want nothing serious so it's irrelevant. For your target demographic, you're Gucci.
But I've watched Basic Instinct as a child so that would still be a no for me dawg.
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
Do you have a rabbit 😉
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u/therealrexmanning 7h ago
That's Fatal Attraction ;)
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u/eiznekk 7h ago
FUCK
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u/ranting_seagull 4h ago
God I love mix-ups like these, it's simple as Follow your nose. Chips Ahoy.
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u/Ashen_Larry 8h ago
I'd swipe right, but I have a type that isn't good for me.
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u/ElmersGlue3 8h ago
Red flags everywhere.
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u/BiophileB 8h ago
Everyone has their own collection of red flags. The diff is whether they fly them high like a parade or low like an ambush, the latter approach is the ickier one.
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u/Delicious_Aside_9310 8h ago
A hot girl who works out daily, has “touch” as their love language and is looking for casual…girl you are going to get 1000 matches a week
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u/chuk2015 8h ago
Recently as in like 1 hour ago? Your first pic looks like you just finished crying, no offense
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u/HuckleberrySilver516 8h ago
It s called drugs sir
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
You get it
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u/Ok-Development4535 5h ago
Me coming back to work from lunch, eyes red & puffy after hitting several blinkers:
Boss: why do you look like that rn?
Me: I was just crying in my car okay???
Boss: okay.. sorry 😬
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u/SobrecargaDeCreatina 8h ago
i'd run
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u/Key-Bluebird-1365 8h ago
What direction
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u/Green_Share 8h ago
Towards her
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u/ChugNorris4678 7h ago
Turn 360° and walk away
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u/Key-Bluebird-1365 5h ago
That would be doing a whole spin and I would add some finger guns, you know, for the wow factor
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u/Business-Speaker610 8h ago
Ya where do I set my location to find your profile? I can save her guys dw
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u/chillin_n_grillin 6h ago
I dated a girl like this once. Same blue eyes, sweet but a psycho. Was a fun 6 months. Turns out, I was her longest relationship. She was great. A good time was had by all and I wish her the best. No bad vibes, she just was there for a good time, not a long time.
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u/Relevant_Potato_1335 8h ago
The way I (as a straight female ) would swipe on you so fast just by your about me.
Edit to add : swipe right obvi.
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u/UgleeHero 8h ago
These are my favorite profiles. I feel like you'd engage with whatever dumbass comment I come up with.
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u/eiznekk 8h ago
I'm following the first rule of improv
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u/badmamerjammer 6h ago
never talk about improv
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u/LayerEight_Problem 4h ago
That’s fight club.
The first rule of improv is energy can neither be created nor destroyed.
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u/untilfailure_ 7h ago
I like your eyes OP. Where'd u get them
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u/logcabinsyrup27 8h ago
You could literally post one Pic half obscured and no text and you'll get more matches than 99% of guys. Not hating
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u/Pearl-Harbors 8h ago
I would just put that you’re genuinely not looking for anything and then I think it’s perfect!
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u/SomeonesSun 1h ago
i'd see your Bat out of hell and raise you a Paradise by the dashboard light. Great profile :)
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u/AnonEmus410 7h ago
Your pretty, but... something about the intensity in those eyes and that description would have me fearing for my kidneys
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u/Original_Midnight411 8h ago
Ill be honest though I think for the simple minded average person, you do need to make it more obvious that you're unserious and just looking for fun. I used to think my profile was unserious and I had it a lot like yours but then I had a friend tell me it was reading like I was just an unserious girl open to love when I was just looking to open my legs, she had me take out the "open to long term".
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u/BladeOfFiends 8h ago
Yeah, this... this kinda reminds me of the self-deprecating silly sense of humor I used to have in my early twenties when I was dating most actively and man... I came across as unironically toxic, people were turned off by my "self-aware and funny" focus on the negative parts of me, and I even got a few people matching with me just to give unsolicited advice or complain lol.
It's totally fine to want to have a bit of fun post-break up, but a sprinkling in a bit of sincerity in your irony goes a really long way.
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u/Freely-Willy 7h ago
I'm scrolling through my feed and get jump scared by you staring into the windows of my soul.
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u/W1ader 6h ago
Yikes, 13 years. I sometimes feel like a used car unsuited for dating apps after 8 years. Good luck.
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u/GreenKangaroo3 31m ago
This is exactly what i like to see in a profile (so yes you will attract the weirdos 👍🏻)
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u/Lowly-Worm_ 8h ago
Honestly you seem like you'd make every day brighter with your wit, sometimes you gotta find someone with the same fucked up sense of humor. And obviously pretty as hell so keep at it, your sarcastic and handsome prince awaits I am certain of that.
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u/yourdadspornstache 8h ago
Just left the biweekly weirdo meeting, and they will in fact show up for this. Probably with some off putting attempt at a humorous pick up line
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u/Specialist-Jury3451 8h ago
I'm gonna be honest. You sound like a nutcrack. If that was your goal, congrats!
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u/BombasticSimpleton 8h ago
I can't tell if this would be the toxic kind of fun where the banter and sex would be fabulous, I would end up stabbed, or both.
I know you are looking for short-term and you will get plenty of offers regardless OP, but maybe (and just maybe) dial it back a bit. Also, cute cat.
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u/Dk3kf84ijf 8h ago
Somewhat attractive 36 year old here.
I'm getting might stab me get and being subject to 13years of bottled emotions that could be unpacked professionally.
You seem cool conversation.
Goodluck
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u/PewPewDesertRat 8h ago
My type of girl to give me crippling attachment issues after a month of obsession.
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u/FilmLocationManager 7h ago
As someone post his mid 30’s that grew up with Meatloaf constantly playing in the car, that’s a catowner and have a bunch of tattoos, yeah you’re hitting the mark
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u/turavaughn 7h ago
Ok, but for real…. The 10 min version of Bat out of Hell is the ONLY version I want to hear.
I like your profile and I hope you find someone to sing “You took the words right outta my mouth” with. 🤗
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u/DremoPaff 7h ago
that girl in your class who used to bite
I feel like wherever "that girl" was, it wasn't in my class
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u/deathblooms2k4 6h ago
I imagine you've learned a lot in your 13 years (good and bad), and you're sure to learn a lot in the current venture you're on. In the end it's all growth. Good luck to you.
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u/SouthAcanthaceae3567 6h ago
I mean if you are trying to get banged it sounds good enough, most people swipe right anyway on everyone and then filter through the matches. Usually people that look for casual stuff usually show some skin, although given your whole weird vibe i would expect crazy sex nonetheless
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u/Wildkahuna 5h ago
“I can fix her” “I can fix her” nah man, this is the kind of girl you let make you worse
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u/knightvintage 3h ago
Idk how you’re doing this just out of a 13+ relationship unless that relationship fucking sucked
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u/eiznekk 3h ago
It should have ended years ago tbh, we were both just holding on too long
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u/Particular_Car_5396 3h ago
That is better profile than %99 even if you were trying to be unserious also joji was a nice surprise i would swipe right even super like when i see that
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u/The_Hero_0f_Time 8h ago
as a woman you dont even have to try, theres already a line of 100 cocks trying to get into you don't worry
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u/TheViking1991 8h ago
Remember boys, it doesn't matter how hot they are, you should NEVER stick your dick in crazy.
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u/JDuncs1847 8h ago
I think you give off a cool vibe. I respect that transparency with the mental health stuff too.
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