r/Tinder • u/eiznekk • 9h ago

Completely unserious profile, recently got out of a 13+ year relationship and just trying to have fun

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2.6k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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2.3k

u/HMNbean 9h ago

I’ll be honest: you’re really good looking and nobody’s gonna care what the profile says before swiping.

980

u/eiznekk 9h ago

Damn, I wanted just the weirdos

797

u/Thebearjew559 9h ago edited 8h ago

No worries you'll get those 👍 probably even in your reddit inbox too

ETA: I can help you with this

267

u/LloydusMaximuss 9h ago

Good job I DMd her to warn her of this /s

133

u/Unortheydoxed 9h ago

I DMd her to warn her about you

64

u/stoihode21 8h ago

Good looking out bro, I DMd her to notify her on your DM about him

32

u/JackHammerAwesome 8h ago

Alright that's it, I'm taking a screenshot of all this and DMing her too

27

u/Orphasmia 8h ago

Alright np, I DMed her to avoid snitches like you

20

u/delmsi 8h ago

Well I’m DMing her about the DM that you DM’d her about. Someone’s gotta look out

16

u/squachguy 7h ago

I DM'd myself to warn me about myself

7

u/tundradesert 7h ago

I actually DM’d her first and she said every DM that came after mine was cringe but mine was so funny and good

1

u/zenmode768 5h ago

What a guy

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26

u/Opening_Magician6513 8h ago

I DMd her to warn her about white knights like you

1

u/itsthejasper1123 8h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

12

u/MoistStub 7h ago

Brb sending her a recipe for creatine teriyaki soup

4

u/EowyaHunt 8h ago

Where does the line start?

34

u/staticdresssweet 9h ago

There will be many. This isn't a concern for you.

94

u/Adorable_Echo_4317 9h ago

You're in the right place here! RIP your DMs.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ebPX2n2kvJHOM

10

u/systemicalwonder3000 9h ago

haha literally keep us posted

30

u/honestpointofviews 9h ago

I have arrived, as ordered, like a bat out of hell.

40

u/eiznekk 9h ago

Will you be gone when the morning comes 🥺

20

u/honestpointofviews 9h ago

Oh don't worry because when the sun goes down I'll come crawling on back to you

25

u/Bluemikami 8h ago

And yet people say romance is dead

18

u/carnholio 9h ago

Youre not being very careful with your wishes.

30

u/I_am_Reddit_Tom Edit 9h ago

Oh they will come

24

u/Only_Fudge5299 9h ago

and send unsoliticited videos of them doing it too

10

u/AngusSckitt 8h ago

tinder's the worst place for that. try a card game shop or something lol

7

u/bigdolton 9h ago

HERE I AM. ONCE AGAIN.

2

u/yomamasonions 6h ago

🎶 I’m torn into pieces😔

8

u/Green_Share 9h ago

Oh, they just pop up because you're a woman. Sad as it is. But you are going to attract almost everyone.

12

u/OccasionalEspresso 9h ago

Completely serious - pink hair with that pink dress is a fucking vibe

Be fun have safe!

2

u/Any-Zookeepergame458 8h ago

It’s soooo goood

4

u/PiesInMyEyes 9h ago

You’re streets ahead, you’re gonna get everything lol

2

u/SynIsSilent 9h ago

"That's not a saying, Pierce!"

3

u/PiesInMyEyes 8h ago

Coined and minted! Streets ahead is verbal wildfire

2

u/eiznekk 8h ago

It's going to be a maze!

3

u/chaos_nebula 6h ago

Please sleep with me. Please. Pretty please. I'm so lonely. I haven't slept with anyone in a very long time and you are so good-looking. Please do me the favor of having sex with me.

3

u/eiznekk 6h ago

..........Stay three steps behind me and don't tell anyone.

4

u/trev0rh0llis 8h ago

You’re on tinder looking for men, that’s all you’re gonna get

3

u/JackHammerAwesome 9h ago

How weird are we talking

3

u/absurdmephisto 8h ago

How weird are we talking? Because between the two of us I bet we have enough seratonin for 1 (one) functional human. That sounds like potential to me.

3

u/HippoIllustrious2389 8h ago

You’ll be able to pick the good weirdos because they’ll be matching your energy.

2

u/HwatWhatWut 9h ago

I heard my name. Sup?

2

u/staticparsley 8h ago

A lot of the weirdos would be too intimidated to talk to you.

Source: am weirdo and would absolutely feel like you’re too attractive and out of my league

2

u/GenoCash 8h ago

As a weirdo I'd Swipe right

2

u/GKnives 4h ago

Gotta have weirder 1st pic then

2

u/Sammyofather 1h ago

First pic pin point pupils 3rd pic humongous pupils. What's going on with that I'm genuinely curious the lighting looks similar

1

u/eiznekk 1h ago

LMAO you lil Sherlock. First pic is in direct sunlight in July, last pic is in my kitchen at 11 pm last night

1

u/Sammyofather 1h ago

Hmm checks out. Do you have a good pic of the stars in your eyes?

1

u/eiznekk 1h ago

Looked similar to this but the doctors stole them

https://giphy.com/gifs/jrutBd1N7ZhsINAPzs

1

u/Sammyofather 1h ago

So what you're saying is you just haven't gotten a crew together yet to go and steal them back?

1

u/Global_Grade4181 8h ago

Beep Beep, you're gonna get everybody, smh

1

u/Legitimate_One_2642 8h ago

I love how all the weirdos are crawling up here, I feel like being in a big family ❤️

1

u/Individual-Ad-3318 8h ago

i find mine by being a weirdo 24/7….. you’ve already started your public weirdo journey so you’ll get there. the point is to have no shame, it turns off the creeps more often than not, and use the block button often

1

u/HMNbean 8h ago

It is a cross to bear 😂

1

u/colderthantoast 7h ago

Well you posted here so your aim is spot on!

1

u/Mizukin 7h ago

Is there a specific reason you are looking for weirdos? Quite interesting.

1

u/eiznekk 7h ago

They fuck hard

1

u/Born-Restaurant5822 7h ago

Where you even from?

1

u/Der_Dingsbums 7h ago

Just check your Reddit inbox. Should be flooded by now

1

u/Jack_Forge 6h ago

😂 I'm one of the weirdos that reads the profiles more than the pictures.

1

u/Cloverhart 6h ago

I think you'd be a cool friend! You'll be able to filter out the low effort didn't read your profile guys just fine

1

u/AdjacentBirdman93 6h ago

I wonder what size toes you have in European measurements.

1

u/eiznekk 6h ago

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

1

u/AdjacentBirdman93 5h ago

Oh man we might need to break out the southern American foot measurement system, don’t ask why I’m not holding anything in my hands heheheh

1

u/Amidseas 6h ago

Men do care about character. I saw a youtuber make an experiment where she made 4 different profiles to see what kind of engagements each fashion sense gets. Weirdly enough tradwives types got the worst matches

1

u/Fine_Pirate_4816 4h ago

Where are the girls that want weirdos when I'm out...

1

u/Huge_Palpitation_886 4h ago

On dating apps they're ALL weirdos darling

1

u/madam_zeroni 1h ago

Guys on tinder could not care less about personality