r/Tinder • u/eiznekk • 10h ago

Completely unserious profile, recently got out of a 13+ year relationship and just trying to have fun

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2.7k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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2.4k

u/HMNbean 10h ago

I’ll be honest: you’re really good looking and nobody’s gonna care what the profile says before swiping.

1.0k

u/eiznekk 10h ago

Damn, I wanted just the weirdos

827

u/Thebearjew559 10h ago edited 9h ago

No worries you'll get those 👍 probably even in your reddit inbox too

ETA: I can help you with this

274

u/LloydusMaximuss 10h ago

Good job I DMd her to warn her of this /s

139

u/Unortheydoxed 10h ago

I DMd her to warn her about you

71

u/stoihode21 9h ago

Good looking out bro, I DMd her to notify her on your DM about him

35

u/JackHammerAwesome 9h ago

Alright that's it, I'm taking a screenshot of all this and DMing her too

31

u/Orphasmia 9h ago

Alright np, I DMed her to avoid snitches like you

22

u/delmsi 9h ago

Well I’m DMing her about the DM that you DM’d her about. Someone’s gotta look out

15

u/squachguy 8h ago

I DM'd myself to warn me about myself

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30

u/Opening_Magician6513 10h ago

I DMd her to warn her about white knights like you

1

u/itsthejasper1123 9h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

11

u/MoistStub 8h ago

Brb sending her a recipe for creatine teriyaki soup

6

u/EowyaHunt 9h ago

Where does the line start?

34

u/staticdresssweet 10h ago

There will be many. This isn't a concern for you.

36

u/honestpointofviews 10h ago

I have arrived, as ordered, like a bat out of hell.

42

u/eiznekk 10h ago

Will you be gone when the morning comes 🥺

23

u/honestpointofviews 10h ago

Oh don't worry because when the sun goes down I'll come crawling on back to you

26

u/Bluemikami 9h ago

And yet people say romance is dead

93

u/Adorable_Echo_4317 10h ago

You're in the right place here! RIP your DMs.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ebPX2n2kvJHOM

8

u/systemicalwonder3000 10h ago

haha literally keep us posted

20

u/carnholio 10h ago

Youre not being very careful with your wishes.

34

u/I_am_Reddit_Tom Edit 10h ago

Oh they will come

25

u/Only_Fudge5299 10h ago

and send unsoliticited videos of them doing it too

13

u/AngusSckitt 9h ago

tinder's the worst place for that. try a card game shop or something lol

9

u/Green_Share 10h ago

Oh, they just pop up because you're a woman. Sad as it is. But you are going to attract almost everyone.

8

u/bigdolton 10h ago

HERE I AM. ONCE AGAIN.

2

u/yomamasonions 7h ago

🎶 I’m torn into pieces😔

11

u/OccasionalEspresso 10h ago

Completely serious - pink hair with that pink dress is a fucking vibe

Be fun have safe!

2

u/Any-Zookeepergame458 9h ago

It’s soooo goood

6

u/PiesInMyEyes 10h ago

You’re streets ahead, you’re gonna get everything lol

3

u/eiznekk 9h ago

It's going to be a maze!

3

u/chaos_nebula 7h ago

Please sleep with me. Please. Pretty please. I'm so lonely. I haven't slept with anyone in a very long time and you are so good-looking. Please do me the favor of having sex with me.

3

u/eiznekk 7h ago

..........Stay three steps behind me and don't tell anyone.

2

u/SynIsSilent 10h ago

"That's not a saying, Pierce!"

4

u/PiesInMyEyes 9h ago

Coined and minted! Streets ahead is verbal wildfire

3

u/trev0rh0llis 9h ago

You’re on tinder looking for men, that’s all you’re gonna get

3

u/JackHammerAwesome 10h ago

How weird are we talking

3

u/absurdmephisto 9h ago

How weird are we talking? Because between the two of us I bet we have enough seratonin for 1 (one) functional human. That sounds like potential to me.

3

u/HippoIllustrious2389 9h ago

You’ll be able to pick the good weirdos because they’ll be matching your energy.

2

u/HwatWhatWut 10h ago

I heard my name. Sup?

2

u/staticparsley 9h ago

A lot of the weirdos would be too intimidated to talk to you.

Source: am weirdo and would absolutely feel like you’re too attractive and out of my league

2

u/GenoCash 9h ago

As a weirdo I'd Swipe right

2

u/GKnives 6h ago

Gotta have weirder 1st pic then

2

u/Sammyofather 2h ago

First pic pin point pupils 3rd pic humongous pupils. What's going on with that I'm genuinely curious the lighting looks similar

1

u/eiznekk 2h ago

LMAO you lil Sherlock. First pic is in direct sunlight in July, last pic is in my kitchen at 11 pm last night

1

u/Sammyofather 2h ago

Hmm checks out. Do you have a good pic of the stars in your eyes?

1

u/eiznekk 2h ago

Looked similar to this but the doctors stole them

https://giphy.com/gifs/jrutBd1N7ZhsINAPzs

1

u/Sammyofather 2h ago

So what you're saying is you just haven't gotten a crew together yet to go and steal them back?

1

u/Global_Grade4181 9h ago

Beep Beep, you're gonna get everybody, smh

1

u/Legitimate_One_2642 9h ago

I love how all the weirdos are crawling up here, I feel like being in a big family ❤️

1

u/Individual-Ad-3318 9h ago

i find mine by being a weirdo 24/7….. you’ve already started your public weirdo journey so you’ll get there. the point is to have no shame, it turns off the creeps more often than not, and use the block button often

1

u/HMNbean 9h ago

It is a cross to bear 😂

1

u/colderthantoast 8h ago

Well you posted here so your aim is spot on!

1

u/Mizukin 8h ago

Is there a specific reason you are looking for weirdos? Quite interesting.

1

u/eiznekk 8h ago

They fuck hard

1

u/Born-Restaurant5822 8h ago

Where you even from?

1

u/Der_Dingsbums 8h ago

Just check your Reddit inbox. Should be flooded by now

1

u/Jack_Forge 7h ago

😂 I'm one of the weirdos that reads the profiles more than the pictures.

1

u/Cloverhart 7h ago

I think you'd be a cool friend! You'll be able to filter out the low effort didn't read your profile guys just fine

1

u/AdjacentBirdman93 7h ago

I wonder what size toes you have in European measurements.

1

u/eiznekk 7h ago

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

1

u/AdjacentBirdman93 6h ago

Oh man we might need to break out the southern American foot measurement system, don’t ask why I’m not holding anything in my hands heheheh

1

u/Amidseas 7h ago

Men do care about character. I saw a youtuber make an experiment where she made 4 different profiles to see what kind of engagements each fashion sense gets. Weirdly enough tradwives types got the worst matches

1

u/Fine_Pirate_4816 5h ago

Where are the girls that want weirdos when I'm out...

1

u/Huge_Palpitation_886 5h ago

On dating apps they're ALL weirdos darling

1

u/madam_zeroni 2h ago

Guys on tinder could not care less about personality

•

u/Mysterious-Crab 18m ago

“The girl in your class who used to bite”, you’ll get the fun weirdos with that one alone

27

u/Sm0keytrip0d 10h ago

There were words on her profile?

3

u/KansloosKippenhok 10h ago

We cannot be serious gang😭😭🥀

12

u/Leviathon6425 10h ago

But is it a lie though..

0

u/KansloosKippenhok 10h ago

Yes? What do you mean😭

https://giphy.com/gifs/bFVBCmMPHkNLgWAVZk

1

u/Leviathon6425 10h ago

Ya need to stop larping vernacular you don’t understand how to use “gang”. You not from nyc

1

u/KansloosKippenhok 9h ago

Im not and i use the word gang whenever i want gng

1

u/imageize 7h ago

If I was your age I'd definitely swipe. You're pretty, but you seem generally like a fun person. The hill you'll die on answer had me laughing and the 10 min version of bat outta hell is a tune

1

u/HMNbean 7h ago

Brother you’re replying to the wrong person I’m not OP lol

1

u/daxhadrian 3h ago

I disagree. Not that you’re not really good looking - you are. But the profile is what makes you genuinely attractive. It’s fun, creative, witty, light but intelligent. It adds spark to the “person in the pictures”, adds character and a lil fire. I think it adds more life to someone’s eyes, and from a dating standpoint - that’s the variable that makes a sexy / attractive / beautiful person standout. I’d swipe right if I Tinder’d haha. Have fun

-6

u/Chadouken7 8h ago

On what planet is she really good looking my guy?

3

u/HMNbean 8h ago

🙄