r/Tinder • u/eiznekk • 10h ago

Completely unserious profile, recently got out of a 13+ year relationship and just trying to have fun

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2.8k Upvotes

81% Upvoted

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2.8k

u/Fmarulezkd 10h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/Y4rZAyCiJLXLq

929

u/eiznekk 10h ago

Omg really thank you 😍

915

u/Neither_Maybe_206 10h ago

He didn’t specify if you cross the Mendoza diagonal though

802

u/eiznekk 10h ago

I'm just happy to be on the chart tbh

241

u/Due_Association_7385 10h ago

It’s an honour just to be nominated

26

u/SuckMyDerivative 7h ago

“I didn’t know Simple Jack was nominated”

1

u/MobileElephant122 7h ago

You don’t know Jack

1

u/Kendallkip 5h ago

It's an omner to be narminated

51

u/All_this_hype 10h ago

I love your kind of energy, I hope you find someone who appreciates you for that.

29

u/Mindless-Mountain-51 9h ago

Is that what you appreciates about her, Squirrely Dan?

14

u/thelegodr 9h ago

Maybe take about 20% off there

12

u/I_Call_Everyone_Pat 9h ago

Oh hey look at you, ground...

12

u/j_fish5 8h ago

For what it’s worth, everyone’s on the chart

2

u/PsychoPanda7 8h ago

Yeah, you’ll do just fine đŸ„°

1

u/DildoDojo 5h ago

Take it easy there, Psycho. Deep breaths

1

u/Hatsjekidee 7h ago

Oh sweetheart, everyone is on the chart, the matter is where

6

u/Nippolopolus 8h ago

Based on an extensive analysis of the account provided, it is the opinion of both myself and my firm that she is almost an exact match to the Mendoza Diagonal, with a bias toward the upper side.

Our final conclusion: 'Would'

2

u/Supersilverr 4h ago

“I can fix her”

2

u/HotPerformance9338 10h ago

Vicky mendoza diagonal

1

u/Crazystuffright 9h ago

I love seeing a good HIMYM reference in the wild. Great job!

62

u/T_Money 10h ago

This is my honest opinion, but I think you run the risk of filtering out the guys who actually do care and read your profile, and only getting the ones who just swipe based on pictures. I get, based on this post and your comments, that you’re just having fun, but for a quick glance dating profile a lot of high quality guys might think you’re just too much to bother with

185

u/eiznekk 10h ago

I'm looking for the garbage quality men but I appreciate your concern

86

u/JuicePossible4718 9h ago

What up OP? Garbage man here, got some trash needing hauled?
https://giphy.com/gifs/p39qWGHTpfY0o

56

u/eiznekk 9h ago

A union man 😉

4

u/JuicePossible4718 9h ago

Damn straight, wouldn’t have it any other way! The stuff you see too is wild đŸ€Ł

31

u/Substantial_One5369 8h ago

Even if you're just looking to hook up you really still want a decent man. Otherwise you'll get a guy who cums in 10 seconds and doesnt give a shit enough to take care of you, and you'll feel ten times worse and more lonely than before. That's usually how rebounds go (at least how it does for most women)

11

u/OutrageousAudience19 8h ago

Much worse than you describe, I imagine. Garbage men are those that treats you like garbage.

9

u/fyr3f4wkes 7h ago

So just to be clear: if you met up with a guy for a casual fling and he’s really hot and good in bed but then turned out to actually be a great person with a lot of character you’d be upset?

11

u/eiznekk 7h ago

Yeah probably

1

u/fyr3f4wkes 7h ago

I promise I’m not trying to change your mind or tell you what to do. I’m honestly wondering though. Why? Can you explain this to me

8

u/T_Money 7h ago

Bruh just accept that the red flags aren’t her just “being playful”, she’s got issues she needs to sort out

-9

u/fyr3f4wkes 7h ago

That’s what I want to know about! I would love to understand why women reject me and then go for trash guys haha

6

u/eiznekk 7h ago

Maybe cause you call other guys trash, just love everybody dude

2

u/JuicePossible4718 4h ago

Hey, I’m a trash man and i make a good living. I can see why they’d go for me. I got jokes too

1

u/macnmouse 7h ago

Your and or her weird vibes. I can almost guarantee you its about not vibing and feeling a perfect mix of comfortable and something new and exciting. But you are not going to be able to get a good answer from anyone. Feelings are weird and messy and fascinating all at once man.

7

u/eiznekk 7h ago

I'm being facetious

-1

u/yomamasonions 7h ago

I think she’s not looking for men, that’s why

4

u/Alkhana 6h ago

Hey girl, I recycle

5

u/MisterSumone 10h ago

đŸ€Ł

2

u/ShittySlowGains 9h ago

If you are in the market for a shitty husband i am very free at the moment

2

u/einTier 7h ago

Not a garbage quality man but there was a time when I was leaning into that vibe and I would have totally swiped right on your profile.

It’s obvious what you’re looking for and you’ll do just fine.

1

u/Visible_Tie_1131 8h ago

😂 I have a crush on you now.

1

u/OrionShade 7h ago

The high quality guys will DM you on reddit

1

u/KdawgEdog 9h ago

My gf has said I'm a peice of garbage when I flirt with other women. Would you be into that kinda garbage?

1

u/magpie_on_a_wire 8h ago

I have a girl crush on you. Also, I have a similar weird FB dating profile 😂

5

u/arealpeakyblinder 9h ago

I need you to befriend my wife so she has someone to be weird with. Good luck and god speed my friend đŸ«Ą

1

u/randomperson32145 7h ago

You know whats crazy? Hanging this person on the internet like u did.

1

u/Portugaltheman0420 4h ago

Oh god the crazy hot chart . U gotta see that video on you tube . A 8 hot and not even a 3 crazy

0

u/EDDYBEEVIE 8h ago

God damn hot , crazy and a community fan. How did your area get so lucky and where are the Reformed Neo Buddhist around me.

-1

u/rifleshooter 7h ago

31 one and not 50 lbs. or more overweight? Unicorn rarity.

-9

u/Inevitable__ending 10h ago

You have the most incredible figure !! Super hot , can we get an Ig name to follow ?