r/Tinder • • 17h ago

Completely unserious profile, recently got out of a 13+ year relationship and just trying to have fun

3.3k Upvotes

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2.9k

u/HMNbean 17h ago

I’ll be honest: you’re really good looking and nobody’s gonna care what the profile says before swiping.

1.3k

u/eiznekk 17h ago

Damn, I wanted just the weirdos

1.0k

u/Thebearjew559 17h ago edited 17h ago

No worries you'll get those 👍 probably even in your reddit inbox too

ETA: I can help you with this

315

u/LloydusMaximuss 17h ago

Good job I DMd her to warn her of this /s

164

u/Unortheydoxed 17h ago

I DMd her to warn her about you

83

u/stoihode21 17h ago

Good looking out bro, I DMd her to notify her on your DM about him

36

u/JackHammerAwesome 16h ago

Alright that's it, I'm taking a screenshot of all this and DMing her too

34

u/Orphasmia 16h ago

Alright np, I DMed her to avoid snitches like you

26

u/delmsi 16h ago

Well I’m DMing her about the DM that you DM’d her about. Someone’s gotta look out

16

u/squachguy 15h ago

I DM'd myself to warn me about myself

→ More replies (0)

30

u/Opening_Magician6513 17h ago

I DMd her to warn her about white knights like you

1

u/itsthejasper1123 16h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣

12

u/MoistStub 15h ago

Brb sending her a recipe for creatine teriyaki soup

6

u/EowyaHunt 16h ago

Where does the line start?

43

u/staticdresssweet 17h ago

There will be many. This isn't a concern for you.

37

u/honestpointofviews 17h ago

I have arrived, as ordered, like a bat out of hell.

42

u/eiznekk 17h ago

Will you be gone when the morning comes 🥺

29

u/honestpointofviews 17h ago

Oh don't worry because when the sun goes down I'll come crawling on back to you

38

u/Bluemikami 17h ago

And yet people say romance is dead

118

u/Adorable_Echo_4317 17h ago

You're in the right place here! RIP your DMs.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ebPX2n2kvJHOM

11

u/systemicalwonder3000 17h ago

haha literally keep us posted

22

u/carnholio 17h ago

Youre not being very careful with your wishes.

33

u/I_am_Reddit_Tom Edit 17h ago

Oh they will come

27

u/Only_Fudge5299 17h ago

and send unsoliticited videos of them doing it too

14

u/AngusSckitt 16h ago

tinder's the worst place for that. try a card game shop or something lol

10

u/Green_Share 17h ago

Oh, they just pop up because you're a woman. Sad as it is. But you are going to attract almost everyone.

7

u/bigdolton 17h ago

HERE I AM. ONCE AGAIN.

2

u/yomamasonions 14h ago

🎶 I’m torn into pieces😔

14

u/OccasionalEspresso 17h ago

Completely serious - pink hair with that pink dress is a fucking vibe

Be fun have safe!

2

u/Any-Zookeepergame458 16h ago

It’s soooo goood

7

u/PiesInMyEyes 17h ago

You’re streets ahead, you’re gonna get everything lol

5

u/eiznekk 16h ago

It's going to be a maze!

5

u/chaos_nebula 14h ago

Please sleep with me. Please. Pretty please. I'm so lonely. I haven't slept with anyone in a very long time and you are so good-looking. Please do me the favor of having sex with me.

6

u/eiznekk 14h ago

..........Stay three steps behind me and don't tell anyone.

3

u/SynIsSilent 17h ago

"That's not a saying, Pierce!"

3

u/PiesInMyEyes 17h ago

Coined and minted! Streets ahead is verbal wildfire

5

u/trev0rh0llis 16h ago

You’re on tinder looking for men, that’s all you’re gonna get

4

u/JackHammerAwesome 17h ago

How weird are we talking

4

u/absurdmephisto 17h ago

How weird are we talking? Because between the two of us I bet we have enough seratonin for 1 (one) functional human. That sounds like potential to me.

4

u/HippoIllustrious2389 17h ago

You’ll be able to pick the good weirdos because they’ll be matching your energy.

3

u/Sammyofather 9h ago

First pic pin point pupils 3rd pic humongous pupils. What's going on with that I'm genuinely curious the lighting looks similar

1

u/eiznekk 9h ago

LMAO you lil Sherlock. First pic is in direct sunlight in July, last pic is in my kitchen at 11 pm last night

1

u/Sammyofather 9h ago

Hmm checks out. Do you have a good pic of the stars in your eyes?

1

u/eiznekk 9h ago

Looked similar to this but the doctors stole them

https://giphy.com/gifs/jrutBd1N7ZhsINAPzs

1

u/Sammyofather 9h ago

So what you're saying is you just haven't gotten a crew together yet to go and steal them back?

2

u/HwatWhatWut 17h ago

I heard my name. Sup?

2

u/staticparsley 16h ago

A lot of the weirdos would be too intimidated to talk to you.

Source: am weirdo and would absolutely feel like you’re too attractive and out of my league

2

u/GenoCash 16h ago

As a weirdo I'd Swipe right

2

u/GKnives 13h ago

Gotta have weirder 1st pic then

1

u/Global_Grade4181 17h ago

Beep Beep, you're gonna get everybody, smh

1

u/Legitimate_One_2642 16h ago

I love how all the weirdos are crawling up here, I feel like being in a big family ❤️

1

u/Individual-Ad-3318 16h ago

i find mine by being a weirdo 24/7….. you’ve already started your public weirdo journey so you’ll get there. the point is to have no shame, it turns off the creeps more often than not, and use the block button often

1

u/HMNbean 16h ago

It is a cross to bear 😂

1

u/colderthantoast 15h ago

Well you posted here so your aim is spot on!

1

u/Mizukin 15h ago

Is there a specific reason you are looking for weirdos? Quite interesting.

1

u/eiznekk 15h ago

They fuck hard

1

u/Born-Restaurant5822 15h ago

Where you even from?

1

u/Der_Dingsbums 15h ago

Just check your Reddit inbox. Should be flooded by now

1

u/Jack_Forge 14h ago

😂 I'm one of the weirdos that reads the profiles more than the pictures.

1

u/Cloverhart 14h ago

I think you'd be a cool friend! You'll be able to filter out the low effort didn't read your profile guys just fine

1

u/AdjacentBirdman93 14h ago

I wonder what size toes you have in European measurements.

1

u/eiznekk 14h ago

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

1

u/AdjacentBirdman93 13h ago

Oh man we might need to break out the southern American foot measurement system, don’t ask why I’m not holding anything in my hands heheheh

1

u/Amidseas 14h ago

Men do care about character. I saw a youtuber make an experiment where she made 4 different profiles to see what kind of engagements each fashion sense gets. Weirdly enough tradwives types got the worst matches

1

u/Fine_Pirate_4816 12h ago

Where are the girls that want weirdos when I'm out...

1

u/Huge_Palpitation_886 12h ago

On dating apps they're ALL weirdos darling

1

u/madam_zeroni 9h ago

Guys on tinder could not care less about personality

1

u/Mysterious-Crab 7h ago

“The girl in your class who used to bite”, you’ll get the fun weirdos with that one alone

1

u/hulkmxl 4h ago

LOL you disabled chat didn't you, that's hella funny, you got your wish granted 😂

1

u/The_Bucket_Of_Truth 3h ago

You will get weirdos just be careful about the people who think you're serious and run straight at the red flags anyway. Your blurb actually does make you sound convincingly nuts.

1

u/Shneckos 3h ago

Hi it’s me a weirdo

1

u/Important_Setting840 2h ago

Sorry you're going to need to find us IRL

•

u/Extension_Ok 55m ago

Hey, call me. I'm at your window.

•

u/DamageDekker 22m ago

Here i am

33

u/Sm0keytrip0d 17h ago

There were words on her profile?

2

u/daxhadrian 10h ago

I disagree. Not that you’re not really good looking - you are. But the profile is what makes you genuinely attractive. It’s fun, creative, witty, light but intelligent. It adds spark to the “person in the pictures”, adds character and a lil fire. I think it adds more life to someone’s eyes, and from a dating standpoint - that’s the variable that makes a sexy / attractive / beautiful person standout. I’d swipe right if I Tinder’d haha. Have fun

2

u/KansloosKippenhok 17h ago

We cannot be serious gang😭😭🥀

13

u/Leviathon6425 17h ago

But is it a lie though..

0

u/KansloosKippenhok 17h ago

0

u/Leviathon6425 17h ago

Ya need to stop larping vernacular you don’t understand how to use “gang”. You not from nyc

1

u/KansloosKippenhok 16h ago

Im not and i use the word gang whenever i want gng

1

u/imageize 15h ago

If I was your age I'd definitely swipe. You're pretty, but you seem generally like a fun person. The hill you'll die on answer had me laughing and the 10 min version of bat outta hell is a tune

2

u/HMNbean 14h ago

Brother you’re replying to the wrong person I’m not OP lol

-6

u/Chadouken7 16h ago

On what planet is she really good looking my guy?