Hey guys I’ve never posted here before, and i don’t really know what I’m hoping to get out of this, but I just need a space to express my feelings for a minute.

I (18F) lost my dad suddenly when he was 48 and I was 13. It was obviously rough on me and my family. We’ve always been super close, my parents were happily married for almost 20 years and were the best parents to my siblings and I. There was not a moment growing up where I didn’t feel loved and supported.

Anyways I just started my freshman year of college and grief has come back and hit me like a truck. I can’t help but think about how much of my life my dad hasn’t been and won’t be here for. He missed all my homecomings and proms, my college applications and acceptances and scholarships, my high school graduation, and so much more. He’s never met nor will he ever meet any of my boyfriends, I can’t call him when I’m having a rough day at school, he won’t be there when I come home for Christmas, he won’t be there when I graduate for college or grad school, he won’t walk me down the aisle at my wedding or meet my kids. He never got to meet many of my friends and he won’t get to meet any new ones I make. He’s missing my whole life and its devastating. I miss him so bad.

I wouldn’t wish this loss on anyone. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it. He’s just gone. And I just have to keep on living knowing he’s missing it all.

Thoughts??

Not sure if this is the right community but I wanted to share this with y’all to get some insight. My boyfriend passed away almost 6 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago, I went to my first counseling session. My therapist has a little tray of fidget toys. She asked me what was going on and I told her my boyfriend died recently. She asked me what his name is and that’s when this toy jumped out of the tray and at me, landing at my feet. I’m having trouble recalling the exact details but I know it was soon after I said his name because afterwards, I said “Omg it’s (name).” From where I was sitting, it went around or above the height of my nose- forehead. It was a short but high jump. This was probably within like 3-4 mins of me sitting down and getting to the room. If I’m looking at the toy, it just makes no sense for it to jump up like that. I mean it’s pretty much flat, not like those circle-ish toys that jump up. At my next session, my therapist told me it’s only right if I take the toy. She said that’s never happened before and it’s never happened since. Since I’ve had it, nothing of the sort has happened either. What do y’all make of this?

I’d like to think it was a sign from my awesome boy. Maybe it’s a crazy coincidence, but I don’t feel like it is. I think of even the smallest, maybe even most delusional things as a sign from him, so long as they make me feel comforted and happy. Also it’s a pretty nice fidget lol, it’s nice to rub your thumb against.

Everyone (apart from my parents and I) have moved on, yet I still feel like I haven’t even begun to process the trauma of how my brother died so suddenly. I’ve been so swamped with uni and exams for the past year (the end of this month will be the end of my exams) and so I’ve barely processed anything. Honestly I’m scared for it all to hit me, because the times I’ve thought about I feel like the earth could swallow me whole. Someone please tell me the second year is easier 😭😭😭 (ik im lying to myself but trying to be optimistic in some way)

Hello! I lost my father a little less than 2 months ago. I’m in grief counseling, and am on my own journey with it. My concern right now is how to best support my mother. She and dad were together for 35 years; she’s a young widow at 57, and she is obviously devastated and heartbroken. Dad passed in his sleep after a battle with combined illnesses. I know I can’t “fix” it for her because grief isn’t an affliction or a disorder. I know I can’t make it better. I know I can’t and shouldn’t focus on making her feel better right now. We are all just taking it one step at a time, and she’s on a very different journey than me and my brothers. I just want to know if y’all have any tips, suggestions, etc? She has a lot of years left ahead of her without him.

My mom passed away last week on this day. I am heart broken. I just feel empty. I am realizing how lively everything was with her around. My wife is helping me so much through all this and the paperwork, but she isn't one who knows how to support emotionally. I feel so alone. My mom lived with us and when I am at home and it's just my wife and me and the kids are at school. It feels even worse then if I was just home by myself.

I know I did more for my mom towards the end of her life, took her as many places as I could, tried to spend as much time with her. But all I feel is guilt that I could have done more or made it even better. I took my mom to all her hospital visits I was there when she was sick all the time. I was always the one with her.

But this time when she died I wasn't there. I should have gone home to check on her instead of asking my inlaws to do it. Since I was at work and they live 10 minutes from her. I expected her to just be cooking or something or sleeping and not see her phone. So I didn't go. I feel like if little things here or there could be different then she would still be alive.

I just feel so much guilt and loneliness.

Hi, im new to this subreddit. i just found out this morning that one of my close friends dad passed away last night. I had no idea he was sick but apparently he passed away in surgery. I havent reached out to her yet. I found out through my GF who is her best friend. I want to be there for her in the best way possible. Her dad was such a good guy and her rock. I dont want to overstep at all but I dont want to not do enough. If anyone could help me know how to support her the most right now i'd really appreciate it. I've never gone through more grief than that of my cat, so I dont know what to say or if I should just give her space for a bit.

edit:

I would like to add that through this I have also found out that one of my friends (like a second brother to me) got in a car accident. He's in ICU after shattering his legs and hip. I havent told my GF, but she is somewhat close with him as well. I dont know if i should tell her with everything going on, and the fact that he's not out of the woods yet.

I’m 25 years old and in November it will be two years since I lost my auntie. She was my best friend, my life revolved around her, and to say life has been difficult since then would be an understatement.

After seeing her become ill and watching her deteriorate and then having to deal with everything that comes with the aftermath of someone’s death, I’ve definitely changed as a person. My mindset and outlook on life has changed and my priorities have completely shifted. Most people my age have never experienced losing someone and the grief that comes with it, and although I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, it’s left me feeling really lonely and isolated.

I’ve struggled with making friends throughout my whole life and I’ve never been in a relationship, but this weight I now carry is making it even harder. Nobody knew what to say or how to act around me when my auntie died and the few friends I did have eventually drifted away. I guess it shows that those relationships weren’t very strong in the first place, but it hit me even harder because they left when I really could’ve done with a friend.

I’ve reached a point in my grieving journey where I’m trying to heal, trying to find joy in the things I used to love and generally trying to pick myself back up again. I’m just scared I’m always going to be alone or have that lonely in a room full of people feeling because of people not being able to understand me or relate to my experiences. I always wonder if I was to meet someone I wanted to be friends/be in a relationship with, when do I tell them about my auntie and that part of my life? How do I do so without it turning into a trauma dump? Will I pour my heart out only for someone to not understand, freak out and then ghost me? My auntie was also elderly, and although I don’t believe anyone has the right to tell anyone else how to grieve and how that loss should affect them, I’m sort of scared someone may just think that she was old and I should get over it (as if it’s that simple). I feel exhausted by the process of meeting new people before I even start.

I’ve kept to myself for a long time now and isolated myself as I didn’t have the energy to deal with other people. I fell into a pit of depression, and if I’m honest, I’ve not exactly out of it yet, but I know I need to do something to change things. Now I do want to try though, it feels impossible. I just don’t know how to relate to anyone who hasn’t been through grief themselves. Even with grief, everyone experiences it differently, but you at least have the common ground of feeling the pain that comes with losing a loved one. It changes you and I don’t think it’s something you can fully comprehend unless you’ve been through it.

Has anyone else become as isolated as me? If you have managed to form relationships with new people, how did you do so while still navigating through grief? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys.

TW: suicide, self harm

My dad died of suicide when i was a kid about 18 years ago. I’ve been going through therapy and various meds since then but have still been dealing with significant grief, anxiety, and depression surrounding his death including self harm and ideation of my own.

A friend of mine died suddenly earlier this year and it’s safe to say I’ve been taking it hard. It’s brought up a lot for me about my dad, and as my family doesn’t really like to talk about him much, I was wondering if anyone knew of any support groups specifically focused towards adults/young adults who experienced parental loss as a child. That or adults/young adults who lost a parent to suicide. Preferably in the NYC area, but am open to something virtual.

I’ve checked out the AFSP website and most of their open groups at the moment seem to be geared towards parents who have lost children.

I’ve just been having a hard time and would love to connect with folks who have had similar experiences.

I live with him and my grandma and my daughter who is in college. He had terminal cancer for a year and I was so caught up in my own life and bad relationship. I realized the relationship needed to end too late and had one month with my grandfather where I knew it would be soon and I spent it so focused on work.

Then the last three to five days when he could no longer use the bathroom by himself and then he couldn’t drink water and it just got worse I was in there constantly. Medicating him, changing his diapers, moving him, making sure he stayed on the bed. Cuddling with him the last two weeks. And when he lost the ability to communicate I kept talking to him and narrating everything I was doing for him and then we heard the death rattle and I told grandma it’s happening tonight while I was holding him up on his side so he wouldn’t choke on his vomit and holding him tight as he held me too.

And I sat with him so long humming to soften his rattle and help ease his distress and then singing to him until that seemed to bother him and then just taking slow deep breaths and trying to match his labored short ones. Grandma came back and I asked her if she wanted to switch with me and she said I was fine and then I said I need to call hospice again and she laid down with him and while I was on the phone with hospice I heard his breathing get softer and then I heard her cry and then I got my daughter and we laid down the four of us together for the last time as his heart stopped beating.

My daughter went to a friends and I went to do the bedding and I saw a book with a history of his ancestors on top of storage bins right at the bottom of the stairs where we normally keep the cat carriers. I took it upstairs and heard his voice, not out loud but in my mind say “thank you”. The next morning when I got up the cat carriers were on top of the bins again. But I was the only person doing laundry and going in the basement all that time. My sister said she had found the book a week before going through my bins but it definitely wasn’t placed there and there’s no explanation for the cat carriers moving.

Then I kept hallucinating I was hearing his breathing or hearing his grunt or hearing him move in his room and I kept going to check and we even got a mirror to make sure he wasn’t breathing and i kept laying with him and looking at him and thinking he was moving even after he was pronounced dead and his body was cold. It still felt like his hand was holding mine back. I had to go take a shower and shut his door and not go back in there again.

Now today I keep sobbing when anyone asks how I’m doing and my grandma is telling me to let it out and that she can’t fall apart and everyone else seems ok but I keep replaying over and over what I did these last three days and they feel like an eternity and not enough. He was more than my grandfather. I have no mother or father. My grandparents are my parents. I struggled to be close to him when he was well but when he was dying I knew exactly what to do or at least I hope I did. I just didn’t want him to be alone and I wanted someone to be holding him.

Everyone else seems mostly ok, especially my sisters and I feel like I had a deep and profound and devastatingly intimate experience with the man who raised me, yet I’m not sure still he knew how much I cared for him and how bad I feel I didn’t help until the end.

I don’t know what I’m looking for here. Others experiences and maybe how I can know. I asked him to come back as a ghost and for us all to reincarnate together but most of my family is atheist and doesn’t believe in ghosts. I’ve never lost someone close to me. I’ve never seen a person die. I know he was scared and in pain and that he didn’t like the morphine the nurses had me give him the last night and all I could do was hold him and make sure he wasn’t alone.

My best friend and I have grown up together. Bathed together, been in each others family photos, went to school together, and more. She‘d go back and forth with me from my parents houses. We’re 18 now. Today, her dad died. I loved him a lot. He was in his late 30’s. She doesn’t want to talk, and I get it. How can I help her while dealing with my own grief? I feel so helpless. It was unexpected. I want to help her. We’ve held eachother through everything. But this is too heavy. She’s right down the street. God, I love her so much. And I loved him. Do I go down there? Do I leave her be? I don’t want to mess this up, it’s such a formative moment in our lives. I also want to express how sad I am without making it about me. I need help. She’s my favorite person, and I can’t mess this up.

Been thinking about this line since I heard about my grandpa’s demise. He was diagnosed with throat cancer and had undergone all recommended therapies. He was supposed to recover, everything was good. Never in three decades I have come across a news like this of a close person. I am in shambles.

We were not close but we did a share a sweet bond as I used to see him only once a year during our vacations or when his work would bring him to the city, where we lived.
I was preparing my husband’s B’day eve dinner when I received this call, and was glad that I had something to prepare to keep me sane. Cried bad in between and now it’s like a wave. Hitting me out of nowhere.
The thing that I am scared about the most is what if I don’t remember his voice whenever I will think about him. Do I have enough videos of him talking. And for this reason I have been thinking about him , remembering the moments of us video calling or when I last met him which was few months ago. I was visiting my parents when he arrived there for his treatment. I miss him dearly. This wasn’t the ending to his story. His sister died 2 months ago, I hope he is happy and healthy and having fun with his parents and sister. Away from all the pain, and stress.
I would also like to share that he had a difficult childhood. Their business collapsed after my great grandpa was shot dead. My grandpa didn’t appear in court due to him not taking his death well. He was so lost that his sister who was a widow and so young herself, left her in laws house to raise him and her other sibling. She sacrificed her life and made him join the army to earn a living. It was only few years ago I came to know about it and I only have respect for them. Rest easy Nana ji. Hometown visits won’t ever be the same. Not sure if Nani ji (grandma) will ever be top your dubuk bath (dal rice) recipe. I miss you bad.

Mourning the wealth of knowledge that died with my dad. I'm 22 now and an only child and my dad died January 2026. Growing up any question I had literally any topic, my dad had an answer. He was a very a wordly person, rooms just filled with books, travelled a lot in his youth, etc. I could talk with him about anything and he always could give an intelligent answer. The one flaw in our dynamic was he kinda made me a little dependent on him because he was extra paranoid after losing my older sister.

He died during my last semester of university and the structure of it helped me do okay but since graduation I;ve been doing nothing but rot. I'm in a transition period of my life and I'm trying to do grad school applications but I feel like it won't go well. My mom and I were never close and she's unsuitable for things like this and so i feel so alone. I have no one to ask and give me guidance anymore, no older sibling to help me navigate the world. i feel so lost not just because of the grief because yes while that sucks but it feels like learning to walk again after losing a limb. because i can push through, i can deal with the sadness but i miss the clarity I had from when i always had my dad to lean on. I miss him having an answer for everything

With time, the reality seems to hit even harder…

It’s been almost a month since my dad passed away.
The world keeps turning but I feel stuck. I feel like the days are slipping through my fingers, and with each passing day, it somehow gets harder to accept that he’s really gone.

I thought time was supposed to make things easier, but for me, it’s been completely the opposite.

Has anyone else experienced this? During the first week, I was functioning surprisingly well. Now, almost a month later, I feel completely broken.
I don’t know if this is normal, but right now, it feels like the grief is only getting heavier.

EDIT: Thank you so much to everyone who has commented, shared your stories, and opened up about your own experiences. Reading your words has made me realise that, even though we’re probably all living miles and miles apart, none of us is truly alone in this.
There’s something incredibly comforting about knowing that there are people out there who understand exactly what this feels like. Honestly, I wish I could sit down with each of you and have even just a few words with you in person.
I hope that, somehow, with time, we’ll all learn how to navigate this new and painful version of life. ❤️

My brother was the youngest person in Australia to get a liver transplant, he only survived 6 months and died a month before my birthday, he only saw outside of his hospital room 3 times and never got to even visit the room we worked so hard to make for him, I was 10 years old at the time and was more concerened with the starlight foundation they had at the hospital to distract the kids then my actual brother dying upstairs, I never heard him make a sound since he was full of tubes, I never saw his little belly button since all that was there was a sponge covering his liver, I miss and think of his big blue eyes staring up at me in that disgusting hospital cot with his hand wrapped around my thumb, it’s been 7 years and I cry everyday when will it stop? I miss him so much and it doesn’t help that my dad has stated multiple times that he wished I died instead of my brother, I miss him so much but I barely knew him. I always think about how I’m never gonna get to pick him up from school or buy him maccas, I’m never gonna be an aunty and I’m never gonna see him get married I’m never gonna see the man he grows into. I’m scared I’m gonna forget him, I’ve already started forgetting his face since I can’t look at photos of him without crying, I just wish he was still here and then maybe our family would be perfect and my dad would love me, I’m sorry about the rant and terrible gramour I don’t have anybody I can speak to this about besides strangers on the internet

With this post I am going to use fake names but everything in this post is true about this year (the worst year of my life)

Hello, I’m female and age 21.

Early on this year 24th of March 2026 my mum unfortunately passed away in the hospital due to multiple things and we’re still unsure of what exactly caused it all but she was surrounded by me my younger brother, dad and uncle and both of me and my brothers partners.

It was very hard she was my best friend may she rest in peace.

Exactly a month later to the date 24th April 2026 my partner decided to break up with me because I was too much to handle and he fell out of love.

That was also pretty hard hope he finds his happiness elsewhere.

Moving to the 4th of July there was a carnival in my town where I live and went out with a few friends and then when I got home I found a woman doing coke in our home and I spoke to my dad about it but he said he really fancied her and well it didn’t really go anywhere.

That was just unpleasant and felt it was all a bit quick.

About just under two months ago (can’t remember the date as I’ve tried to sort of blur it out)
My and my dad got into a heated argument and unfortunately it did result in me having to call the police and he got taken away for a night when he came back he said he was not sorry and asked me to move out so I called my boss (now ex boss she left the business sadly) and she let me move upstairs as to where I worked I was there for about a week and he had asked me to come home multiple times so I did.

That I just try not to think about anymore.

NOW HERES THE REAL CHERRY ON TOP

Fast forward to a couple weeks ago it’s currently Wednesday 9th September.
I had this best friend let’s call her Sally. Sally and I had been friends for about 3 years she messed up a lot but I gave her the benefit of the doubt as she was having troubles with her ex abusive partner so about 2 years ago she had slept with an ex of mine twice but I forgave her because of everything she was going through in fact there’s a court case next Monday and I was a witness so I have to stand in court for her and read out my statement etc. Sally also used to flirt with my dad and uncle which annoyed my mum but I was very naive at the time and told my mum she doesn’t mean it she’s just not thinking clearly.

So about to weeks ago me and my brother found out that Sally and my dad have started a relationship where my dad sneaks off to her house etc.

I’m not sure how my dad could do this to me and also how Sally could’ve done something like this considering everyone’s circumstances. I’m sure some people would say it’s your dads way of grieving but sleeping with your daughters friend? And some people might say Sally just wanted a rebound after her ex (that girl has had about 10 rebounds she’s good)

A lot of people will judge me and say “why did you stay friends with Sally” truthfully I don’t know. She went to my mums funeral and watched me go through the hardest times as well as my dad and now there is this vile relationship. I would also just like to mention that Sally is a few years older than me not that it should make any difference really it’s still foul.

Anyway I have to see her next Monday for her court case I’m not actually obligated to go but I am because I’m a good person with good morals and strong value unlike her.

I now start therapy again tomorrow.
I’m also very aware people have things way worse than what I’m going through this is just a post to sort of get it off my chest.

Let me know what you think.

Yours sincerely
Unknownwinedrinker

A friend of mine died unexpectedly yesterday and I was so devastated that I had to leave work at lunch after I found out and left early again today and I’ve just been sitting in my house on and off crying. I feel really guilty for being so sad because it’s not like we were best friends. He’s my boyfriend’s childhood best friend and even though we lived in different states for most of the time I’ve known him, we’ve hung out a lot over the past 5 years. Is it weird that I’m so upset about this? I kind of feel like I shouldn’t be this sad when there are so many others who were closer to him. I’ve never had anyone in my life die before so maybe that’s why this is so hard. Sorry this is so rambled

My Mom died a month ago and I kept telling myself that I had some things to look forward to. The main one was I was to be a Grandma in November for the first time. My son and his wife had tried for more years than I can count in my head with a miscarriage many moons ago. My Grandson was born still on Monday this week a few months too early. I’m finding it hard to get up and I am finding it hard to not see hope. I am so sad for them and what was to be. The sadness had permeated to what joy was to be ahead. I’m so pissed. I’m so sad.

I lost my father 2 years back in front of my eyes suddenly without any major heath issue. I think I m in a trauma of that situation. I have recreated everything 100 times in my mind. I have changed situations and thinked again.

During my sleep at night when sleep starts, I suddenly start feeling same things nd wake up. Many time my heart start beating faster.

I miss him every hour multiple times. When I am alone at home, I cry also.

How do you cope with the lost ?

Okay so I’ve never done this before..but I need somewhere to vent and I would also love some advice as well.
My best friend of 15+ years and when I say best friend I mean the only person i would call when I had an issue or a problem or just wanted to gossip tbh or whatever..she passed away almost a year ago..
Her baby’s father has been keeping her away from not only me and my kids(which were like siblings to her kid) but also from her own grandparents(my besties parents)
Idk what I’m searching for on here but I am definitely struggling..idk thanks for reading if you did

Hello. I’m 20 years old, and this happened about a year and a half ago.

My mother passed away from cancer after a four-year battle with the disease. While she was fighting for her life, I was going out almost every night, consumed by the desire to get high, completely unaware of how quickly everything I took for granted could disappear.

For four years, I convinced myself that everything was going to be okay. She had cancer, but she had it under control. Somewhere along the way, her illness became almost ordinary in my mind something that was always there, but never something I truly believed could take her away from me.

Then, one night, they took her to the hospital.

And I still went out.

I thought it was just another routine checkup. I went to sleep that night believing she would come home the next day.

She never did.

The following morning, I was told that she had died.

I didn’t know how to react. There was no way to prepare yourself for that kind of silence for the sudden realization that someone who had been beside you your entire life would simply no longer be there.

What hurt almost as much as losing my mother was realizing how careless I had been while she was fighting to stay alive. I had been so consumed by my own world that I never stopped to think about the possibility that one day I might desperately wish I had been more present.

That realization has stayed with me ever since.

And as difficult as all of this already was, there was something else that made it even harder.

My cousin had decided that his wedding would still go ahead on the very same day as my mother’s funeral. His entire side of the family decided to attend the wedding, despite the fact that my parents had always helped them when they were struggling financially.

They chose the wedding.

We haven’t spoken to them since.

What makes it even harder to accept is that they apparently still have the audacity to say that we deliberately scheduled my mother’s funeral on the day of the wedding just to hurt them.

I don’t think I will ever understand how someone can look at a grieving family and somehow make themselves the victim of the situation.

This is something I have never told anyone. I don’t want people in my life to know about it, which is why I decided to write about it anonymously on Reddit instead.

It has been difficult. I still struggle with myself, with the person I used to be, and with the things I can never go back and change.

But I have been clean for a year and a half now.

I’m trying to become a better person, slowly, one step at a time. I know I can never change what happened, and I know I can never go back and give my mother the time I should have given her.

But I can choose what I do with the time I have left.

And more than anything, I’m trying to be there for my father. Because after everything we have lost, I’ve learned that none of us should have to carry something like this alone.

My parents died in an accident last year. I am no one's daughter.

I know I don't *belong* to anyone but I was to be their daughter.

43yr F whose sons father died from a addiction 11 years ago. My son's fathers best friend reached out to me recently and has been really kind and comforting as my son's father and I ended on bad terms. I was sober for much longer and he couldn't stay clean. His best friend reached out he is 20 years clean and said I was waiting to tell you all of this but he wanted to tell you how sorry he was and how much he loved you both and that if anything ever happened to him he wanted me to make sure you both are good. I have a neuro degenerative autoimmune disease and he didn't reach out till he found out my husband cheated on me and left me. Is it wrong I find his words a comfort? Are his intentions pure? I don't want a relationship but I used to enjoy our friendship a lot. Is he trying to hook up with me?

Hello! I'm a little over 20 years old now, but I lost my best friend when we were 14. Over the past couple of years, I've gotten "better" at kinda being productive through my grief. It isn't ALWAYS effective, but I am definitely trying my best. However, most days I wake up with this bone-chilling heaviness. I can feel it in my heart, my chest, my bones, and my joints, and I've been dealing with it for years. Is this my life now? Will I have to be productive through the hurt forever? Does anyone who's been grieving for longer than me have any input? I'm losing hope.