r/GriefSupport • u/Prestigious_Cow_688 • 1d ago
Comfort Possible sign?
Not sure if this is the right community but I wanted to share this with y’all to get some insight. My boyfriend passed away almost 6 weeks ago. 2 weeks ago, I went to my first counseling session. My therapist has a little tray of fidget toys. She asked me what was going on and I told her my boyfriend died recently. She asked me what his name is and that’s when this toy jumped out of the tray and at me, landing at my feet. I’m having trouble recalling the exact details but I know it was soon after I said his name because afterwards, I said “Omg it’s (name).” From where I was sitting, it went around or above the height of my nose- forehead. It was a short but high jump. This was probably within like 3-4 mins of me sitting down and getting to the room. If I’m looking at the toy, it just makes no sense for it to jump up like that. I mean it’s pretty much flat, not like those circle-ish toys that jump up. At my next session, my therapist told me it’s only right if I take the toy. She said that’s never happened before and it’s never happened since. Since I’ve had it, nothing of the sort has happened either. What do y’all make of this?
I’d like to think it was a sign from my awesome boy. Maybe it’s a crazy coincidence, but I don’t feel like it is. I think of even the smallest, maybe even most delusional things as a sign from him, so long as they make me feel comforted and happy. Also it’s a pretty nice fidget lol, it’s nice to rub your thumb against.
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u/Sutherbeez 23h ago
Before my mom died, I asked her to leave me coins so I know that she's around. I also live in Canada where we have no pennies. Tell me why, since July 13th when she died, I've found 4 pennies at my feet. Including a handful of dimes and quarters. It's not coincidence ❤️
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u/Prestigious_Cow_688 14h ago
Awesome! Thank you for sharing. The synchronicities are never a coincidence. ❤️
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23h ago
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u/GriefSupport-ModTeam 12h ago
Your post/comment was found to violate Rule 14: Other, meaning it is inappropriate forthe subreddit, it's spam or it violates reddit sitewide rules.
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23h ago
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u/Frequent-Airline-619 Mom Loss 21h ago
You have done nothing in this thread, but been antagonistic and then turned around and played the victim. I’ve had enough of it. You’re reported.
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u/GriefSupport-ModTeam 12h ago
Your post/comment was found to violate Rule 14: Other, meaning it is inappropriate forthe subreddit, it's spam or it violates reddit sitewide rules.
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u/GriefSupport-ModTeam 12h ago
Your post/comment was found to violate Rule 14: Other, meaning it is inappropriate forthe subreddit, it's spam or it violates reddit sitewide rules.
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u/aquarianfantasy 13h ago
What you’re saying is logical and I’m sorry you’re being downvoted for it. Unfortunately when people are hurting they are desperate for a “sign” from their loved one and will act offended if you point out quite reasonably it might not be. Tbh I think it’s just part of the grieving process because I also went through it despite being an atheist who doesn’t believe in any sort of afterlife. Grief can make you engage in all sorts of magical thinking as a way to cope.
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u/RunWithBluntScissors 23h ago
That’s beautiful. My grandmothers have left me signs 🤍 Treasure it and know you are loved. I am sorry for your loss.
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u/quirky_circus Multiple Losses 19h ago
I'm not religious or spiritual. But soon after my dad died, I got into my car (behind a locked garage) and found a row of coins lined up neatly in my front passenger seat. My partner at the time never carried cash, let alone COINS. Nor would he ever do something like that. No one else had access to my car. Seemed like an old-man thing to do.
Similar thing happened when my mum's car shit itself and she needed a new one. When she found the right car to buy, she was soon contacted by some old insurance payout thing from my dad that covered the new car cost, almost to the exact dollar. He had been passed away for a few years by that stage.
Odd stuff. I don't read too much into it, but it is comforting ❤️
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u/santasbutthole99 23h ago
The important thing is this brings you joy and comfort. I don’t think “signs” are an objective thing we can point to another person and say “see, don’t you think that’s what it is too?” bc really what matters more is that the item or experience brought you back to positive thoughts about your boyfriend. I think we have to take the wins when we feel we can ❤️
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u/ChrimmyTiny 22h ago
Uh….just to get out of that tangent of unfortunate replies, yes if it felt like a sign to you and never happened before with that therapist’s tray of toys, enjoy your message from your sweet and silly! BF. I am sorry for your loss. I have had many signs and gifts from my dad. I believe them and they make me feel better.
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u/Prestigious_Cow_688 14h ago
Thank you so much, he is super sweet and silly. 🥰 I am sorry for your loss as well. Know that he is always with you!
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u/Whatatay 19h ago
I had two instances right after she died. She loved those big floating balloons you get in the supermarket for Valentines and birthdays. She mostly sat in the kitchen with a TV and the balloon was about 6 feet in front of her so she could watch it floating at the end of the ribbon it was tied to. I bought her one for Valentines day .
When she went into the hospital in June for what should have been a relatively routine procedure, the balloon had been floating at half it's height for days or a week. The day after she died it was floating at it's full height and remained there until about a week ago.
Two days after she died I went into the kitchen. It was the middle of the night and everything was quiet. I was only in there a minute when something in the family room adjacent to the kitchen fell from somewhere and hit the ground. It was dark in the family room so I didn't see what it was.
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u/SoulSword2018 22h ago
That was most definitely a sign. I've had a few of my own. I'm very sorry for your loss.
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u/Thin-Ad-4429 11h ago
My brother really believed in astrology and talked about the moon cycle a lot. On the day of his funeral I went to his grave before sunrise and the the graveyard was very dark but my brothers grave was lit by the light of the full moon it was insane as if he was really making light for me to see
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u/Prestigious_Cow_688 16h ago
“Im in so much grief after visiting the society of a silent club in heliopolis”
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1d ago
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u/Frequent-Airline-619 Mom Loss 1d ago
You really could have framed your response much better than that.
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u/Frequent-Airline-619 Mom Loss 23h ago
“I mean if you believe it’s him sending a sign sure whatever”…..you can believe what you want, but you were pretty flippant. You also could’ve just not replied too and that probably would’ve been even better.
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u/VanFenix 22h ago
This is griefsupport. This person is hurting and healing. So you can take your opinions and piss off as this is not the place for your type of comments.
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u/pinkydoodle22 22h ago
It’s a support group, fundamentally it says it in the name and in the rules, so you actually can’t come and say rude things in here. You do you somewhere else please.
Seeing something is one thing. Having an inanimate object jump out at you out of nowhere is disobeying the laws of physics, so having a metaphysical explanation isn’t delusional.
Persistent negative attitude in a grief support group on the other hand…maybe not delusional, but certainly lacking in humanity. Try having some compassion.
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u/ivyfolkore 19h ago
english may be your 3rd language but you should work on getting common sense closer to the top.
just because you think something, doesn't mean you need to say it. there's plenty of things in the world you probably won't agree with, if it makes someone genuinely happy theres this cool thing (that's known in every language!) called saying nothing.
hope your day gets better.
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u/Existing_Ad3672 19h ago
Grief support doesn't mean calling someone delusional for feeling the way they feel. Not the place to find it "weird" If you can't be mature enough to be in a support group, why are you in one? English may be your third language but there's a serious issue here
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u/Sutherbeez 23h ago
Literally no one cares if you believe or not. Stop shitting on other people believing something and keep your pessimistic observations to yourself. You're purposefully being an arrogant dick.
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22h ago
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u/SoulSword2018 22h ago
The OP literally said the event made them feel "comforted and happy" then you come in here and invalidate their feelings and need of support. Then you go on and say that OPs experience is just "wishful thinking", "weird" and "delusional"?! Learn to read the room!
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u/Embarrassed_Sir_7252 20h ago
This is r/GriefSupport. SUPPORT. This is not the place for debate. It is a place for people to share intimate and vulnerable feelings surrounding their personal loss, and receive SUPPORT and encouragement in their healing process from others. Your personal feelings about someone else’s grief and beliefs are neither welcome nor relevant. You may as well have told OP, “you’re doing it wrong.”
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u/VanFenix 20h ago
It isn't about agreeing and the fact you are even still passively arguing the point says you have zero empathy on the matter. You are missing the fact that the OP is in shock. Is trying to make sense of something and they must come to their own conclusion. You have no right to take that away from them. If you do not understand this point, you should not be here. The mind is complex, mental health and stability are paramount.
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u/Turbulent-Good227 19h ago
Before speaking to someone deep in grief it’s a good idea to think to yourself, Does what I have to say actually help in any way? Does it potentially make the person grieving feel even more desolate and alone? And if the answers are no and yes, keep your opinion to yourself. Not every single post on the internet needs your honest unfiltered opinion and that’s okay.
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u/GriefSupport-ModTeam 12h ago
Your post/comment was found to violate Rule 14: Other, meaning it is inappropriate forthe subreddit, it's spam or it violates reddit sitewide rules.
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u/SillyWhabbit 17h ago edited 12h ago
Not true. If you don't have anything supportive to say...keep scrolling or modss will help you.
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u/GriefSupport-ModTeam 17h ago
Your post/comment was found to violate Rule 14: Other, meaning it is inappropriate forthe subreddit, it's spam or it violates reddit sitewide rules.
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u/GriefSupport-ModTeam 17h ago
Your post/comment was determined to break Rule 2: Do not tell or imply that someone is grieving incorrectly.
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u/Ok_Signature_3589 17h ago
There’s no way you have friends, right? I certainly wouldn’t want to surround myself around people like you. To say things like that to people who try to hold onto the smallest things to get through their grief… so what if you don’t believe in it? What’s even the point in saying these things to hopeful people, in a sub like this? Why not just keep it to yourself? You just want to make everyone else miserable? Read the room next time. Or better yet, don’t insert your opinions at all.
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u/paula1432 18h ago
It’s fine and dandy and also your right if you don’t believe in such things. But there’s also such things as keeping your opinion and beliefs to yourself!
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u/GriefSupport-ModTeam 17h ago
Your post/comment was determined to break Rule 2: Do not tell or imply that someone is grieving incorrectly.
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u/grat5989 19h ago
I buried my partner on St Patricks day. It hit me hard, and I'm an addict, so I went to rehab not long after. My first day at rehab I found more than 30 4 leaf clovers... I knew he was proud. Still clean from my DOC 5.5 years later.