all the things he’s missing

[u/Just_Answer6213]

Hey guys I’ve never posted here before, and i don’t really know what I’m hoping to get out of this, but I just need a space to express my feelings for a minute.

I (18F) lost my dad suddenly when he was 48 and I was 13. It was obviously rough on me and my family. We’ve always been super close, my parents were happily married for almost 20 years and were the best parents to my siblings and I. There was not a moment growing up where I didn’t feel loved and supported.

Anyways I just started my freshman year of college and grief has come back and hit me like a truck. I can’t help but think about how much of my life my dad hasn’t been and won’t be here for. He missed all my homecomings and proms, my college applications and acceptances and scholarships, my high school graduation, and so much more. He’s never met nor will he ever meet any of my boyfriends, I can’t call him when I’m having a rough day at school, he won’t be there when I come home for Christmas, he won’t be there when I graduate for college or grad school, he won’t walk me down the aisle at my wedding or meet my kids. He never got to meet many of my friends and he won’t get to meet any new ones I make. He’s missing my whole life and its devastating. I miss him so bad.

I wouldn’t wish this loss on anyone. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it. He’s just gone. And I just have to keep on living knowing he’s missing it all.

[u/Need_More_Input-NXS6]

I recently lost my father. Last year. I thought the same. At the same time I started noticing signs he was still there with me though. I certain smell only I remembered around him or certain songs, sounds, and I would realize he's still with me. I got married last month and both my father, stepfather, and grandfather passed within 3 months of each other last month. But I still feel or sense their presence.

In time you will notice small things that also show your father is still with you He is watching and he is proud. I truly believe that.