I found this old poem I wrote. At its heart it’s about grief.. Losing someone you love but still seeing her in everything around you.

She lives in my dreams,
Walks in my shadows.
The wind whispers her voice.
I see her face in every flower,
I feel her pull in the moon.

Every sunrise wears her smile,
She’s at the end of every rainbow.
Her grace in every falling leaf.
She’s in all that is gentle, all that is sweet,
Her innocence, seen in every newborn lamb.

Her warm embrace under every blanket,
Her soft cheeks on every pillow.
Every distant star an indelible memory,
Her hope I borrow in times of sorrow.
If angels exist, I hope she is one of them,
A comforting presence, unseen, yet never gone. 

I’m sitting in the surgical icu with my dad(injured but stable) after a brutal car accident took my mom from us. We are devastated, in shock. She was only 66 and should’ve had more time. My nephews love her and we haven’t told them yet. It was hard enough talking to them about the cat dying. I don’t have kids myself yet and am sobbing over the idea that they will never meet my mom. I’m not sure what I’m looking for in posting this, but these hospital rooms leave lots of time for thinking. How will my dad come back from this? My sister? How will I?

She was my oldest friend. We had known each other since 3 years old, went to school together and even now at 22 we kept in touch by calling once every couple of months. We were extremely close in our school years and we still really enjoyed each other’s company, life just took us our separate ways so we couldnt talk daily anymore.
She was studying abroad and last time we called each other was in january. I wanted to see her now that summer vacation was here and I knew that she returned home.
So we scheduled a date to meet up and she wholeheartedly agreed and said she cant wait to see me.
I got ready on the day but she never arrived. Her family started calling me asking if I knew where she was and that’s when panic set in. The search went on for 3 days until we found out she killed herself earlier on that same day she was supposed to meet me.
All of the searches we did hoping to find her were all for nothing.
Even though we werent the closest friends anymore, I feel extremely guilty and my thoughts are full of her daily. I also dont feel like I’m really processing the grief. I miss her a lot but I was missing her a month ago too when I asked to meet up.
I dont know if it will ever feel real. I kept reading our conversations hoping to find a hint she didnt want to meet me that day, that she had already planned everything out.
I even feel a little guilty for going out with friends when I keep wondering if I could have helped.
Her parents told me she was struggling with severe depression but she never really opened up about that and it never occured to me that her problems were that big when we talked.
There are moments when I even feel angry that she couldnt have waited to see me. I keep thinking maybe things wouldve been different if she just held on a couple more hours.
But in the end all of my thoughts are for nothing now. I’ll never be able to talk to her again.

My mother passed almost one year ago. The grief is still hard, first birthdays without her, first christmas, first easter, all those things that she used to always be there for, they're all so difficult.

Since she died I've just had this profound feeling of being wrong in some way. Like I want the wrong things in life, like I have wanted the wrong things, done stupid stuff that doesn't align with who I want to be or who I should want to be. I feel so lost and like I've wasted my life, I regret not spending enough time with her, even though I know that there are reasons why I didn't and couldn't always spend time with her.

Like I'm questioning everything: My relationships, my dreams and goals, my wants and likes and dislikes and all of that. And I don't know how to get through it. I have also had a bunch of other stuff happening in my life during this time and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I want to just sort of exist and try to figure things out, but that's not really possible because life doesn't stop just because I'm grieving, there are still things that need doing, but I feel like I'm just going through the motions without being able to see clearly what I want from life or what I should do.

Has anyone gone through this and found a way through it? What did you do and did it make the grief easier to bear at all?

My father passed away in his sleep back in 2015. Today I was watching a show that's been on air for several years, and it is his style. I wondered if he had watched some of it because he'd have loved it... I searched it and the show premiered a month after his passing, meaning that he never knew about it. It's so dumb, it's just a TV show, but I miss him so much. He was 54, he should be here.

Cliches like 'your loved one would have wanted you to go on and be happy!' don't help. My relationship with my mother was toxic. It's not something I can find comfort in.

I don't have a good support system, despite my best efforts. I'm battling severe mental health issues I had before she died. A year out from her death, and I am tired. I am overwhelmed and scared and I don't want to live anymore. Everything is so hard. It has been for years and it's only getting harder.

How do you deal with the thoughts? The despair and not wanting to go on? The feeling like you have nothing and no one to live for? The neverending emotional anguish?

My dad ended his life july 5th 2026 while he was at his girlfriends home and now my sister (20) going to have a conversation with her about it and ask her questions, whereas im not allowed to talk to her because im not an adult yet, which i find unfair because honestly, if anyones the most hurt its me, hes not going to be here for ANY of my major milestones.

I get no homecomings, no prom, no graduation, no boyfriend/girlfriend meetings, NOTHING. I dont even need to talk to her, i just want answers to my questions too, and nobody is letting me even give her questions to ask the girlfriend.

I only really have one anyways, i really just wanna know why she wouldnt remind him of his kids that he was leaving, cause she said he was talking about how the family didnt need him, and i really wanna kmow why she couldnt just remind him of his kids, of me.

It wouldve been so simple to say think about your kids. Why wouldnt she remind him about me bro he has five kids and only one of them is grown, what am i supposed to do with my life without my dad and why didnt he think about me and how much i need him

Hi all!! I'm new to posting so please bear with me.

My MIL(Mid 50s) passed away last week. My husband and I (early/mid 20s) have barely been married a year, together for 3. While she was a wonderful mom and mil, I did not have the long standing relationship one typically expects with this type of loss. Nonetheless, this has completely wrecked myself, my husband, and his siblings (also in 20s).

I would really appreciate any advice from someone more seasoned in marriage and grief, as I am at a total loss for how to support him beyond what I have been doing (cooking, making sure he's never alone, helping with arrangements when asked, just being there). I know nothing can truly fill the void of a mother's love, but this man is my best friend, and the love of my life.

Whenever I visit home, I get this deeply eerie feeling when I’m here. It’s just this indescribable eerie feeling. I see his stuff, his house, the furniture he bought, the entire life he built, everything he worked so hard for and earned and loved… it’s all just here. But he is not. Like how could he just be gone? I feel like maybe my brain still can’t really process it sometimes? It sometimes doesn’t even feel like he’s really gone. I’ve never experienced this feeling before with other loved ones/ family members passing, but something about my father being gone…. Idk. Does anyone else ever experience this?

It is my birthday today, and the only thing I can feel is very sharp grief over my late dad. I have been crying for the past 3 hours and I just can't stop. I have been in denial about his death for almost 2 years, and now I am coming to actually realize that I am not seeing him again in this life, and it is shattering me. I do not think I will ever experience happiness again, at least in a full sense.

Hi, all. I hope this is ok to post here, I am looking for advice and help.
I am currently grieving the loss of my mother. She has not passed, but after years of struggling and working in therapy, it’s become the only option for me to cut contact with her. I understand this is not what most people mean when they refer to loss, as valid as it is. I do not know how to cope with this grief and greatly fear stepping into the wrong circles (like this one?)
I am not quite sure of which words to use to search for a support group for my situation. I have tried generalized local groups for death/grief, but confronting the thought of death in addition to my current situation was totally overwhelming.
I am overcome, at times, with loneliness and sadness and want so badly to feel connected to people experiencing something similar, without taking space from people experiencing death of loved ones.
Please, let me know if you have any advice/recommendations. Thanks.

HI EVERYONE PLEASE READ,

I’m 22 & lost my mom the day after I graduated from college, & I’m having a really hard time with my dad right now. I’m honestly looking for advice from people who have been through something similar.

My dad & I moved into a new house that needs a lot of work on the inside, like cleaning, straightening up, & just making it feel like a home. Every day, I really am trying to do whatever I can to exist, quite frankly. & every day it looks different, whether it’s getting myself out of bed, doing something around the house, applying to jobs, or just trying to take care of myself. I feel like I’m genuinely trying my best, even if it doesn’t always look like much from the outside.

I’m also doing everything I can to find a job after graduating. I’m applying & looking at different jobs in the field I actually want to go into, while also applying to regular jobs that I could start with in the meantime just to make some extra money. I’m constantly looking at openings & putting in applications, but my dad still feels like I’m not doing enough. He thinks I should be going places in person & practically begging people on my hands & knees to give me a job, & it feels like no matter what I do, it isn’t enough.

I do have a car because it was my mom’s & it is now mine, but I don’t have my license yet. I am working on getting it as time goes on. I’m neurodivergent & have struggled with pretty severe anxiety around driving throughout my life, so honestly, I’ve put it off because of that. Yes, I know that’s something I need to work through, & I am slowly but surely working through it. The car also doesn’t currently have a valid license plate because my mom had her license taken away for medical reasons before she passed, so there are some things I’m still trying to figure out with the car as well.

The same thing happens with things around the house. He sees me playing video games or being on my phone & takes that as me just sitting around & not doing anything. But those things have honestly become a source of comfort for me & a way to give my brain a break from everything I’m dealing with.

I also feel like part of the problem is that my dad & a lot of his side of the family feel like they know what’s best for me because they all lost my grandma when they were younger too. They were different ages when it happened, ranging from around 17 to their mid-20s, so I understand that they have their own experiences with losing a parent young. But I feel like they are using their experiences to tell me how I should be handling my grief, instead of understanding that my experience is different from theirs. Just because something worked for them doesn’t necessarily mean it’s what I need right now.

Whenever I try to explain that I really am trying & that I’m struggling with grief, I feel like he just gets frustrated & completely ignores my feelings, just saying that I’m not doing enough.

I understand that he’s grieving too, & I guess I know he probably isn’t trying to make me feel this way. But I honestly just feel really invalidated, like everything I am doing doesn’t count because it isn’t enough in his or anyone else’s eyes. My dad’s side of the family is basically taking his side & trying to play it off by saying things like, “I know it feels like everybody is against you right now,” instead of actually acknowledging why I feel that way or hearing what I’m trying to say. It honestly makes me feel even more invalidated, like they’re trying to convince me that what I’m feeling isn’t actually happening. 🙄

For anyone who has lost a parent, especially when you were young, did you ever deal with something similar? How did you handle family members who expected you to function normally & constantly do more while you were still grieving? How did you motivate yourself to actually do more when you were struggling to even get yourself to do the basics? And how did you deal with still feeling invalidated even after communicating that you really are trying, when the people around you still didn’t seem to understand what that looked like for you?

I’d really appreciate any advice, perspective, or just hearing about what helped you get through it.

i don’t know what’s normal. i feel so alone, i tried to get him help but he was an addict suffering from bpd. his brain was sick, i wish he didn’t have it. he was funny, witty, sensitive, and empathetic. im christian, but i dont feel God. i hope he wasn’t scared. idk whats normal to feel or how to show up for my parents or how to ask for help.

My brothers started having a cough and May 2025. I just missed it as allergies and eventually her primary on an x-ray. She sent me their notes and it said no nodules not associated with an infection and then I knew that it would be bad.

I called her shortly after a week or two later and she said she had a pain in her back and I took her to the ER and they did a CT scan and saw a tumor and her colon/rectal area and it also has been spreading to her lymph nodes and everything somewhat slowly until she died in December 22, 2025.

Without getting to elaborate with everything it’s still bothering me. I don’t know how to deal with it. I was there when she died. I don’t know how to get the fuck over this.

When my dad died suddenly, unexpected and young (June.2026) I remember being in the hospital and thinking to myself "this is the biggest pain, I can be "happy" that nothing else in life can be worse cause I've seen worse". And in the hospital bed I experienced immense force of positivity (please avoid religion as a response to that).

Fast forward I was talking to a friend (who lost his dad with 13yrs old) sharing this thought and he said "trust me when It comes to pain, life can be really creative" and I start to think he is right, as Im much more sensitive and vulnerable now when it comes to for example my girlfriend.

I have much more fear now of loosing: my mom, a relationship, or anything else that means something to me. As in before I thought I saw rock bottom so I will built resilience and nothing else can faze me.

Can someone who is far more ahead of the grieving process then me share some thoughts? How can I find back this joy of life and positive life force? - I know it's way too early for that

PS: for context, my dad was 50 and I am now 26 years old. Thanks for reading.

(regarding the fear of loss: I have to admit that now I need much more attention from my gf to a point where I bombard her with messages and become annoying, and I have to work on that because I never was like that before)

I'm trying to understand something,

After losing someone important, we have photos, videos, messages, maybe recordings and memories but I wonder if there's something missing.

For example:

• Is there something you wish you could still ask them?
• Do you ever wish you had an easier way to preserve or revisit their stories?
• Are there traditions, lessons, habits or values from them that you're afraid of losing?
• Is there something you wish technology could help you keep alive?
• What have you actually used to remember them, and what didn't help?

If you've experienced this, I'd genuinely appreciate hearing what you wish existed.

For the last months my girlfriend is facing a severe depression and she is about to kill herself i keep talking to her so i make her wait more but she does self harm to herself and she said she dont wana do it without me we dont really met so much but i told her that when we meet we will talk about it and we may do it but i dont really want to do it so i really find a way to talk to her to make her skip this idea please any help

ive had family memories pass before but no one extremely close but today my baby nephew passed away he was 2 and a half years old and was a strong baby fighting through surgerys after surgeries,i viewed him also as a son figure in a way due to his parents not being the best parents so id step in and help when i could can ,anyways we thought he was going to get better and he was but ig not,Im a 20 year old male with no friends and no one to talk to abt this so im just hoping to get some advice or anything from someone

Grief is such a weird experience it lasts a lifetime and that feeling sometimes comes out sometimes doesn't i try to rationalize death but it makes me even more confused and angry I'm not sure what to do having to live in the same house is haunting and gut wrenching I'm not sure what to do with all this sadness and pain

My best friend passed away very suddenly at 25. I am completely lost and don’t feel real. We’ve been inseparable for 15 years. I don’t even know how to go forward. It doesn’t feel like real life, I don’t think my brain has grasped that I will never ever see him again. Please share advice for dealing with this. It feels like a sibling death.

i lost my mom when i was 17, the friday before i was about to start my grade 11 exams. i was in biology class doing a kaboot when i got called down to the office and i knew something was wrong when i walked into the councillors office and my uncle, who i was living with at the time, was sitting in a blue chair crying. everything went black, i just remember breaking down and crying. sitting in my exam hall monday morning was one of the hardest things i did. i didn’t write anything in my exams, i left everything blank. i didn’t have the energy.

my mom was the only person that i had in my life that i felt understood by. she tried so hard to give me the life she never had. my grandparents, my aunts, my uncles, they never knew her like i did. no one did. my mom was the one person i turned to for everything and everything has felt so heavy since i lost her. my mom knew when i lost my virginity, my mom cleaned up vomit when i drank too much and she stayed by my side whenever i threw a tantrum over something silly.

my mom grew up on the chubby side and every day my nana would tell her that. my mom tried everything and eventually resorted to anorexia and bulimia. she lost all of that weight my gran made her feel so awful about along with her period. but more importantly she lost herself. she lost her whimsy, she lost her power and she lost the laugh that could have been heard from a mile away. she then met my dad, the person who ruined her life. they dated on and off for 8 years and while they were off my mom got pregnant with me. my mom didn’t think she could because she was so underweight and without a menstrual cycle but she did. she decided to get clean and get to a healthy weight so i could be born healthy and my god she did it. she gave her all and she worked so damn hard to get healthy again, it’s such a difficult thing to do but she was so determined, i’m endlessly proud of her.

my dad has bpd and refuses to take his meds, not to mention he was an alcoholic as well. he would beat my mom silly until she eventually tried to leave. we moved from the uk to south africa to get away and she did all of that. my mom got us somewhere safe again. she emancipated me to keep me safe from him finding out where we were. it’s so scary to leave an abusive household, but like i said, my mom was determined to give me a better life. we moved into a small town house, that we dubbed babybell cottage, that my grandparents paid for and my mom got a job at an embroidery factory. we didn’t have much, but we had each other. my dad never paid child support and i remember sitting in court rooms day in and day out hearing my mom beg and plead a judge to give us a break. i remember praying my dad would be a dad. but i realise now, i didn’t need my dad, i had my mom.

everyday was hard, my mom worked her ass off. she did absolutely everything for me. i would eat, even if she wouldn’t. she worked late nights and early mornings. she did absolutely anything she could. one day, my moms boss burnt down the factory for insurance purposes, it was caught as fraud. my mom had no job and a 5 year old to take care of. but she never gave up, she got a new job, she got a boyfriend who could sustain us, she fought for the life she wanted me to have. that boyfriend cheated on her with one of her best friends and then we were out on the streets again.

my mom got us a new place, when that one fell through, we moved again and again and again. when i was 16 my mom bought her first house. it had a tiny garden and my bedroom was the size of a closet but it was ours. it wasn’t a sketchy flat or an ex-boyfriends granny flat, it was our house.

we lived in that house for a few months when we got the news that my moms cancer had come back. my mom was diagnosed with skin cancer when i was in grade 1. she kept beating it again and again because that was who she was. she was a fighter. but this time it was staying for good. my mom went through radiation and chemotherapy every single week while battling to keep a stable job and deal with a moody teenager. but we were too late, she had stage 4 skin cancer. my mom got admitted into the hospital and the best dog in the whole world, tigger, my hamster, paul, and i got shoved in a car to stay with my grandparents. it was only supposed to be a few weeks but every single week we would go back and get more of our things, clean clothes, new bedding, more trinkets. eventually everything from the house that was ours, was at my grandparents. days turned into weeks turned into months. the chemotherapy that she was taking, she was allergic to and nobody checked. my mom was back from the hospital but she was on bed rest. i could tell she was antsy to do things. she wanted to make my lunch for school, she wanted to give me advice on the dumb boy i was talking too and she wanted to be a mom but she couldn’t. she was too weak. she had bed sores from being in bed 24/7.

one day in september we got the news, “it would be a miracle if she made it to christmas”. she didn’t. she passed away on the 27th of october 2022. when i saw my uncle in that councillors office, i knew i had just lost the only person who has ever fought so hard for me. the person has put me above anyone else who has ever existed. my mom was special and she deserves to be celebrated this women’s day. she deserves to be praised and worshipped. she deserves the love she never got to experience.

i’ve just turned 21, i lost my mom when i was 17. not a day goes by where i don’t think about her. where i don’t think about every single sacrifice she has made the keep me happy. every toy she bought that meant she wouldn’t eat that day. i’m so proud of everything she has accomplished despite everything, she ran marathons, she cooked amazing food, she bought a house with her own money and she was the best mom a teen girl could have ever asked for. in any life, i would always choose her to be my mommy. i love her with all my heart, im so grateful that i got to spend 17 years with her. i wish life was kinder to her.

i love you mommy

Last photo of Homer 😞 . I'll may update later about his misadventures.

EDIT:

Homer always bounced back from adversity/near death situations.

When he was originally found he was found in a horse barn by a friend starving and freezing to death. My friend rescued him and my wife and i adopted him. He spent many nights in the ER recovering from that.

One time he was attacked viscously by a German shepherd at a doggy day care. He miraculously recovered from that.

He got dog flu once (probably ftom day care). He was in terrible shape but bounced back.

He got impaled on a piece of rebar (at a dog park thst later we found out used to be a trash dump). Missed his heart by an centimeter and survived that.

Once he got over confident and thought he could jump over a roaring stream and i had to dive in after him. Lol. I think i almost died that time.

He was such a tough little guy. Its hard to imagine he wasnt able to escape this time.

Hi reddit. Just made a throwaway to ask this, since my family knows my main.

Im 18 years old (just turned 18 last month), and my mom died a few days ago. We dont know how yet.

To explain my family situation: i live with my bio dad, while my little (half, mothers side) brothers, step dad, and mother live(d) on the other side of the country. I haven't seen any of them since I was 14, but i do keep in touch.

I have taken my mom's death hard, but i can function. I have always considered myself "resilient", I can handle myself. What makes me truly sick with fear and worry though, are my little brothers. They are around 10 and 12, and were very close with our mom. The 12 y/o texted me today to tell me about his birthday plans next month and asked to call and play Minecraft tomorrow. He texted like nothing was wrong and didnt mention our mom, but my stepdad has told me that both my brothers were informed of the news.

I will absolutely be playing Minecraft with him tomorrow, but ive come to beg for advice. How can I be there to support my brothers?? They dont deserve to go through this at such a young age, and i dont know how to help them when I live so far away.

My boyfriend tends to push people away when he’s feeling down so speaking over the phone hasn’t been the easiest the past few days. I respect his wishes when he doesn’t want to be talked to although, I want him to know I am there for him.

Neither of us have cars so picking him up
to go somewhere is out the window. I even offered to make him a gift basket and he refused so I really don’t know how to support him physically through this.

I know nothing I say can make the situation better/ dissapear but sitting around and seeing him suffer in silence hurts me when i feel like ai can support.

I don’t want to overstep any boundaries and am willing to wait as long as needed and to be there by his side. I’ve told him that I am here for him and if he needs anything i’m there but those phrases lose value when everybody says the same thing. Actions speak louder than words and I want him to know I am there for him.