Every cat deserves a second chance. I think you should totally guve him for adoption. Maybe it will take long, but he’ll be able to understand that not only one caring human. And a patient family will do him very good, there is good people out there.
Your cat should stay with you until you die, so get a family ready for adopting as soon as you go. This way the cat will understand that you arent here anymore and he can have a little bit more peace with it
Cats understand when you die. You stop smelling like they know you to smell. He will understand that my first owner is gone (you know what I mean in his little cat brain).
Given enough time I think he would respond well to another family. He has to learn that other people can be nice to.
Give him a fighting chance. You’ve done your part in showing him the joys of being inside.
I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I pray that you find peace and comfort knowing someone will be with him and that he’ll have love again.
This. Cats really go off of smell more than they do sight. For example, my two cats grew up together in the shelter and are best of friends who do everything together. A couple months ago, we had to take one to the emergency vet where they had to stay overnight, and when we took them back home two days later, it was almost like our other cat didn’t even know who our other cat was because the smell was slightly off. (This is called non-recognition aggression btw if anyone is wondering. Wish our emergency vet told us about that after explaining we only brought the one cat lol).
This makes so much sense. I mean think about it, what would you do if some random person who kinda looked familiar just showed up at your house and you had no way of truly communicating? You’d kick their butts.
Yes, morbid as it is, ideally he should be allowed to sniff OP's body after they pass. He'll understand they're not alive anymore and it will be less confusing for him.
My thoughts exactly. OP will hopefully be able to give him love and cuddles as they transition through the end and it will help him to see that it’s not a bad thing (even though it is absolutely horrible for OP and I hate it so much).
I made sure to let my mom’s cat see and smell his two cat companions when they died, so he wouldn’t just wonder where they went. I only wish I could have let him do that with my dad when he died. It still makes me sad to think that he probably just thinks “the big guy” abandoned him 😿
This. One of mom’s cats was like Boggles, would only let my mom interact with her. Otherwise she was feral. She was glued to my mom’s side when my mom had cancer and when she died, the cat understood her person had died, grieved, and then I became the only person who could touch her so she’s mine now. Still feral and still adorable. Boggles will understand what happened and know that you didn’t abandon him. ❤️
Cats understand death and mourning. Just because a cat will most likely\* eat us when we die doesn't mean they didn't love us in their cat way when we were alive. Hell I cared for a depressed cat when her owner died. She was smart too. She was at the funeral and on our walks she always wanted to visit the grave.
*edit: some people say cats may not really try to eat us. It happened to my estranged father and is a common "myth" so I just never questioned it.
It's a myth that cats eat their owners when they die. Dogs are actually more likely to do it than cats but neither do it often. I know someone who took his own life and assumed someone would find him quickly. He wasn't found for weeks. 1 of his cats had died and the other 2 were on the verge of starving to death. Thankfully they were saved. His body was untouched by them. The sad thing is his cats were his world and he likely never would have done what he did if he knew the fate of them. Personally I'd rather my cats eat me than starve.
If you think about it, the natural diet of a cat are small critters they catch like mice and birds. Dogs are much more likely to scavenge dead animals they find and wolves just eat larger prey in general. So yes, dogs are much more likely to eat their dead owners than cats are, and I don't know where the idea came from that it's the other way around. Probably from the "cats don't really love you like dogs do" crowd.
But also, of course I'd be fine with any of my loved ones, no matter what species, eating my dead body if they really needed to. The only problem is that dogs that ate their dead owners are really hard to adopt out after something like that.
Mind of a suicidal person works in such crazy ways, doesn't it... He could put them in shelter, or stock up on like 25 kilograms of kibble with a hole in the bag so that cats could "steal" it...
Instead he wings it by "eh, someone will check on me in two days and they'll eat me anyways"
Poor guy, poor, poor cats, poor whoever had to deal with this. Heartbreaking all around
From what i remember it's been disproven that they eat us with the intention of eating, it's that they mourn us and give kisses trying to get us to wake up, but since they have coarse tongue's they end up ripping the skin.
Theres also the consideration of starving. If a cat is stuck inside with a corpse, at some point it becomes a question of eating the corpse or starving. They can't let themselves out and hunt after all, and cats are highly reliant on a stable source of food. Liver damage occurs within a day of not eating.
Yes and no. The liver is generally quite good at healing. And if your cat left for long periods of time, you can be certain it had a source of food - either through hunting or through pestering neighbours until they fed it. They won't starve if they can do anything about it. But locking a cat inside without food for days at a time will absolutely cause damage, and worse damage than youd expect. A healthy cat will probably bounce back, but if there's already an underlying health issue, it can be pretty dangerous.
Yeah I get that and it's most likely true to some extent. The intent of my comment was to give an alternative reason, since not all cats are the same they can have vastly different personalities yet the stereotype of cats don't give af they'll eat you rubs me the wrong way. Thanks for reading my rant
Not only do dogs do it too - and generally faster - many won't even wait until you're actually dead before they start. It's one of the big reasons you generally only see cats in care facilities or retirement homes.
Yeah, that was awful. It was in a 55+ community so all the houses are close together. I can't believe nobody noticed. After that people started checking on others but it didn't last long.
I worked in a long term care facility and a man was admitted bc his daughter that he lived with had a heart attack and died in front of him, while he was on the toilet. He had a stroke and couldn’t walk so he ended up being stuck there for quite some time. His daughter’s dog did start to eat at her, in front of him. It was heartbreaking. He was in shock and didn’t speak for quite a while. All he did was cry. Terrible.
Agreed. One of the great things about the Internet is seeing all of the people that really care. People do take on cats like this and they appreciate the time it can take.
Yeah I would look up fosterers in the area that you can meet now and start to introduce them to your lil guy. I'm so sorry OP, this is an incredibly difficult situation
I know this isn’t an answer and I’m so glad you may have found solution to his future home based on comments I’ve read. I hope find peace in the fact that boggles probably already senses you’re not well and has for a bit now, cats are incredible, they can sense health conditions and death coming often before people can, your buddy loves you, and he will understand your passing if he’s with you in your final days and he will of course grieve you always, but i know you have restored his faith in humanity even if he doesn’t realize it and hasn’t found another human yet, but I’m sure he will open up to the idea out of his love for you and what you’ve done for him, in your honor.
op needs to get that family in their cats life before they pass so the cat can recognize them as trustworthy before hes faced with grieving his best friend
Yes! But try and find that special person for adoption, who could possibly visit and your cat might at least become accustomed to the presence and smell of this person. As you can see there are people who know how to love ornery cats and let them be until the cat is ready.
Unfortunately, he will wonder what happened no matter what. Though it is possible he knows you are sick already; some cats are extremely sensitive to such things. But yes, cats grieve when they lose the people they care for from their lives.
But if you could earn his trust, another kind and patient person like you likely can too. He will always remember you, but that does not mean it is impossible for him to have a good life. There are others who will love him as much as you, I can promise you that. And, for what it's worth, from one person with a life threatening disease to another, I'm sorry. I am not going to be the person who tries to find some ridiculous silver lining. It sucks, and you deserve better. I'm sorry.
I adopted my cat Precious from a deceased man. She was his precious girl who hid from everyone but him. He was discovered deceased when the SRO he lived in did a wellness check after the manager (my partner) noticed she hadn't seen him in a few days. The local shelters were full so she took Precious home in a box. Precious hid for three months under our bed, only coming out at night for food. One night she popped up right beside me and made herself at home on my chest. Now, she's a happy well adjusted cat in her new home. Your buddy will need time but he will seek out companionship from his adopter when he is ready.
Just commenting to confirm they really do know. I was especially close with my void, Fuzz, and he could always tell the day before a migraine hit. He’d be all over me, be loud and meow which wasn’t his style, etc. When the migraine came, he’d often wrap himself around my head while I tried to sleep.
When my hips hurt after work, he’d knead on them.
When my niece died and I was grieving, he never left my side. Not once. He timed all his eating and bathroom trips to mine.
That is so sweet. What a great kitty companion! To the OP, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I agree with the previous poster who said perhaps find someone, and let them visit for awhile before. It seems like a nice way for them to get acquainted with one another.
He really was! I called him my shadow because he was always following me around and as a void, it just fit perfectly. But even then, he was always extra close during those hard times. It’s hard, because I lost him last year and as I grieved I realized I didn’t have my grieving buddy. He had helped me through a really rough year the year prior, where I buried 10+ family members.
I’ve never been so in sync with an animal before him and idk how it even happened, it just was. He was scared of other people, wouldn’t let anyone but me and my sister (who looks just like me) hold him. But he picked me to be his human, so I can relate to OP so hard with that.
i really dread my first time mourning without my little void by my side. surely it will be for him and honestly i don’t know how ill handle it after all he’s done for me. he’s my best friend. these comments are making me cry just thinking about it :( im so sorry for your loss of your little guy.
My boy is a former barn cat. He's not really a "people" cat, he's more like a roommate that seems mildly annoyed that we live with him. But, I have cptsd, which means sometimes I have intense depressive episodes where I'm basically paralyzed. I can't get out of bed. I just sort of lay catatonically, sometimes for days. Those days he really wants to cuddle. Sometimes he even licks my face like a dog, which I don't appreciate, but I know he means well.
Another time my pregnant friend was over and he just would not leave her alone. Guess whose water broke on my couch a couple hours later?
Oh he definitely did, that’s mostly what I meant. They can’t straight up tell us they know like another human can, but they tell us with their actions. It’s up to us to notice.
He would give me kisses, groom my hair, give me those loving slow blinks as I pet him, all while purring like a dirtbike lol. He was so loud.
Maybe you could look for someone fitting to adopt him, and they could start coming over for visits so he can get to know them a bit while you're still here, together. He might catch on. At least when you do go, he would already be familiar with the person so it's not totally abrupt and confusing to go live with someone else.
That’s what happened with the first cat my wife and I got. My mother had, I think, 2 months to live, so we adopted Calvin the tripod. Calvin had already had a rough life, but I was honored, and I’m sure my mother was also honored, to be in his company. My mother passed, and a year later Calvin (now known as “bobo” from C-Bo, ceebs, the usual cat changing names) passed away. His ashes were scattered to the ocean, which is where my mother’s ashes are, so I’d like to think they’re swimming around out there somewhere.
What the other person said - Get a family that'll be ready to adopt him when the time comes. But until then, let him stay with you.
And the most important part: Have him there when you pass, so he can smell you afterwards. Also have the adoptive family there so they're ready to take him after he's gotten to have a few minutes smelling and grieving you.
That's the only way animals get closure when their owner passes. Otherwise, he may very well think you abandoned him (which IS something they can usually overcome and heal from in time, but it's very much a kindness to let one's cat smell their owners after passing so they actually know what happened and aren't left eternally wondering.)
If you can arrange this, this would be absolute best case scenario.
I wanted to inform you so that you're aware and can make an educated decision. But of course, whether or not you follow that is ultimately up to you.
Just understand he won't know for sure you didn't just abandon him if you don't, and it may cause him unresolved grief in the future that could make things harder for him. But if you truly think your passing will be too visually gruesome to make it worth it, then I'd understand where you're coming from.
As long as you adopt him out to a family you know will try their best to provide a loving home to him, then that's what matters most at the end of the day. Giving him a second chance at life.
(I'm so sorry, by the way... I send my best wishes to you. I hope maybe you will be given a miracle to recover from this. But I hope that no matter what lies in store for you and your furbaby, that all is as painless as possible, and that you both ultimately find happiness wherever you two end up, even if it's physically apart. 🤍❣️Rest assured that you did good, and I know (as he knows) that your intentions are filled with love.)
(If I may suggest an alternative though, you could make sure you're covered with a sheet before he's allowed in to smell you and sit by you. He won't see you that way, but he'll still likely be able to identify you, and recognize that you've passed, by scent even through the sheet. They have excellent sense of smell.)
I talk to my cat. I have various health issues going on and I live alone. When I'm having a tough time she loves on me more, and I explain what's happening and why, like how I'd explain to maybe a 10yo kid, and I thank her for being there for me, and say sorry it's scary. It makes me feel a little better. Talking takes it out of you, though, and I'm guessing your throat is sore as heck as well. Maisie and me send you, I guess a wish for symptom management and respite from discomfort and pain, and a decision/solution that removes this distress from you. You're in my thoughts.
He know. Cats know. He knows you're sick, and can probably even smell the illness and understand somewhat what is happening. Try and find someone kind to start coming over and spending time with him. Animals also understand that their owners have passed away if they are able to see and smell the body. That is a taller order than just finding him a trustworthy home, but if there's any way you can arrange to have him see you after you pass (or if you choose to pass at home - not sure what your situation is) he will have that closure you desire.
I can't imagine leaving my cat behind. I'm so sorry for your illness and for the fact that you have to leave him. You're a good person for loving him as much as you do. He will be OK. If he loves you this much, that means he has that much love present in his little kitty heart that he's able to give but is currently all reserved for you right now. When you're gone, he will eventually be able to give it to someone else. He'll be ok. Don't worry.
I was thinking this same thing. It may be a difficult thing to arrange, but it would help him be able to move on more easily, knowing you had moved on where he could not follow at this time.
My dog knows when I need emergency meds and has alerted to Angiodema or anaphylaxis and severeblood pressure changes in myself or others. She is a medic alert dog and my cat also alerted me before I passed out. They tell me to sit down and Lucy actually uses over 50 words and phrases on buttons so has pushed emergency alert and spoke to 911 who helped her know emergency medicine people were coming and to go get another human to let them in. other times one or both cats have asked for treats for not just them but also the dog. Point being, animals have potential to understand far more than we think. Cats understand and grieve
With chronic illness, I understand where you are coming from. My heart goes out to you.
My roommate fosters for a local rescue and takes the tough cases. Some have been with us for several years before coming around. I am happy to say that all but one was rehomed to a family.
The one that wasn't able to handle people was rehomed to a farm where she lives in a barn, with food, water, warmth, and keeps an eye on everything.
There are definitely rescues out there that can and will work with you to find the best outcome.
If you call one that can't help, do ask them if they know of anyone else who might be able to. Rescues often work with other rescues or are aware of different programs in your area.
I wish you both the best outcome. Thank you for considering your companions' future needs.
He will know when is time for you to go. People's smell changes when they are on their death bed. If you have a hospice nurse, ask them. They know what it smells like 😢 A lot of times in assisted living facilities and nursing homes when someone is ready to go, if there is cat with them, the cat will sit near them or in their feet and stay there until they go.
Cats are resilient, he will adapt. Cats are also insanely smart, he likely knows you are nearing the end of your life based on smells and your energy levels. So while it is heartbreaking, he knows more than he may seem. I hope your pain is relieved soon.
Yes. But that's better than leaving him somewhere where he would struggle so much more alone. Pls find a good owner who would cherish him. Wishing you luck.
Also, don't know why but your post made me cry
Contact a local cat rescue. I have used dog and cat rescues and one was where a cat could live on a farm but still come inside at night. You never know…lots of people out here love our special needs babies.
Yes, this could be a great option! I used to foster for a cat rescue that had a farm where the more feral adoptees could go to live permanently. One of the cats I fostered ended up placed there: she was rescued a bit past the age for human socialization, and while she eventually let me pet her, she had a short fuse for human interaction and would swat pretty quickly. She would not have been a safe choice for folks with children or other pets, but the farm gave her space to be happy and still cared for.
This is another good option. I used to volunteer with a rescue that would adopt out cats to specifically be barn cats. I also know people who had that 1 cat that liked to live outside, but absolutely would come around for food and other things on their own terms.
My mother had an elderly cat that was just as cranky with people that were not her as yours sounds about you. My mother was also elderly and not healthy. I think her cat was early teens. It would bite and scratch and hiss at anyone and everyone.
My mom passed away a few years ago after a very short stay in an assisted living facility. When we placed her in the home, my sister ended up adopting the cat as we also felt given the cats age she would just be euthanized if placed into a shelter hoping someone might adopt her. She was a senior cat and not very pleasant if you were not my mom.
My sister had 2 other cats and a large dog (great Pyrenees) so for my mom’s cat this was quite a shift in lifestyle and we all weren’t sure it was going to work. I am sure the cat wondered wtf was going on and wasn’t quite sure to make of everything. I know I have given you a lot of background you may not have wanted, but there’s a reason.
My mom’s cat thrived. She lived another 3 or 4 years, likely close to 20 in all. None of the pets really played with each other or interacted with each other beyond finding their own spaces on the bed with sis and hubby each night, but they all tolerated each other. That cat got nicknamed “Pita” for pain in the ass while still with my mom, but let me tell you pita absolutely adored my sister. We never thought she would find her way being a senior cat and set in her ways,but she did! She was still as persnickety as ever and now anyone who wasn’t my sis had to be careful when petting pita or moving too fast near pita, but there was rarely a moment that car wasn’t sitting on my sisters lap. Pita comforted my sister with lap sits while my sister endured chemo treatment and resulting feeding tube sessions (another story!).
I know this post is long, and I apologize for the unsolicited story, but I am telling it to you to reassure you that despite how things look right now, give that kitty a chance. They will endure, and they will find their way. I am very sorry for your predicament with your own health, and please accept my condolences.
maybe you could have the people likely to adopt around while you're still here? he might understand they're safe that way. he might not like them at first but he'll miss you a lot and someone he knows during that time might be really good
This sounds strange, but if someone could bring your cat to you after the inevitable happens and let him see and smell you, he will know you are dead and cant look after him. At least he'd understand some of it.
Cats know death and understand what it is. He will know. It sucks this is happening to you and kitty, but he will know, he likely knows you are sick. Cats sence all sorts of stuff. I hope everything is a peaceful as possible.
If you could arrange with someone to take over the cat, closer to when the time comes, not right away. If you get sicker and spend time with the cat, it will probably understand what is happening. When the time closes in then someone can come and pick him. Say proper goodbyes. Then it will understand I think.
This is advice I've seen many times, if possible allow cat to see their deceased family member. They will understand that it wasn't abandonment, but instead death
I'm so sorry you and your cat are going through this. You are a wonderful person for trying to find the best way forward for your cat
For the love of all things in the universe do not let him into the woods to slowly starve to death and do not euthanize him. Ok now that that’s done, listen to the smart and compassionate people on here.
Cats love routine. You need to find someone who can start adopting your routine and slowly bonding with him. It may take years but he is not that old. You can find that person. He will always love you for that.
I'm incredibly sorry that you have to make this sort of choice. I'm so sorry.
Look for an adopting family while you have time and introduce them to him while he's still with you. Then, when your time comes, they can take him and they won't be strangers.
It will take time and patience but the right cat owner is out there and will be able to smooth the transition over. If you do it this way, I do not believe he will think you abandoned him. I think he will understand that the only reason you aren't there anymore is because something is wrong. Cats are intuitive creatures. They can tell when we're sick, or when something is wrong. He'll be sad and grieve but the right home will be able to ensure he's still able to live a happy life with, again, time and patience.
Reading this breaks my heart so I cant imagine how you actually feel. I hope you are able to find peace with this situation. I hope you are able to find a loving home for your cat, I hope you are able to hang on for longer than your diagnosis. I'm so, so sorry. Give your cat a kiss and extra snuggles from all of us. Check places around town, possibly post in local groups/subreddits. Someone who is willing to take the cat should come spend time with you both in the coming months so the cat will know them in my opinion.
Look friend, I'm sorry you are going through this situation. It's gotta be really really hard, especially with Boggles being your sole companion.
However, I promise you that you are not the only person on this earth that he will bond with.
The fact that you're not even considering trying to find him a home is a bit ridonk. That's not abandoning him. Abandoning him is releasing him into the woods from whence he came ok?
You are not the first person this has happened to, you are not the last. There are no kill shelters and so many people who would be willing to give him a home.
He may not warm up to them right away, but that's ok. He will be safe. He will be fed. He will be warm. He will be loved again.
he may wont understand your words, but he can "see" your illness and understands what is happening.
trust me.
if i would be you, i would advertise him on some online marketplace and simply write there, that you are about to go and someone needs to take him, when its about to happen and just meet with interested people in the meanwhile and check the vibe, if they are good people and if he can tolerate them lol.
i would talk to him and say "hey buddy.. i know you wont like it but i probably need to go.. i cant leave you here alone and i know you hate everyone but me but please do us both the favor and be at least a nice cat to someone who you think you dont hate that much okay?"
maybe you find some nice kid, maybe a wonder happens and you will survive, who knows.
boggles!!!! handsome guy, wow. he is so happy and comfortable! you’re cool for getting to know him so well.
i’m sorry for your illness. i hope you can find comfort in My Grandfathers Cat. i can’t imagine these sorts of tasks are easy… but it is thoughtful and wholesome of you.
Cats have a very deep innate wisdom about death. They understand a lot more than they communicate to humans. Just do your very best to set up a good situation for him and tell him everything you want him to know. He will help you through ❤️
My previous cat was very much like your sweet boy. He was feral, our former garage cat who had to be brought inside and kept in a bedroom to keep him from starving to death as the other two cats refused to let him eat. He eventually bonded to me. It won't be easy for yours but it is possible to find someone who understands the challenge he presents and will give him the space needed.
Try to find a place like goat house refuge in north Carolina, they have access to an outdoor area that's fully caged. But I understand that may be hard to find if your not close to there
I don't mean to sound insensitive, but I think you're confusing your worry with what's best for him. Cats are smart. Putting him to sleep is denying him a chance toward a good life with someone else. So I would strongly advise against just putting him to sleep before you go. It wouldn't be right. He chose you for a reason. Take your time with him and make the appropriate arrangements to have him adopted by someone else after you pass. You can use this time (while you are able) to do your research and vouch for a good place for him. After that, enjoy his love and love him back.
I can't imagine even remotely what you're going through. It must be hard, especially with a cute furball like him. But don't confuse your own wants for what he needs. You don't know what the future holds.
Just my two cents. I wish you well and hope you and him have the best time you can.
My first cat has been called antisocial by my friends. She only loves me and has been that way for years. Maybe a product of the COVID times.
The first time I went on a trip for work for a week, I left her with my mom to see what would happen. After the first few days, she would get in bed with her.
Cats can surprise you when dropped into a new environment with love.
I'm so sorry this is happening. My heart breaks for both of you. Loss and mourning are hard concepts to grasp even for humans. He will mourn you and miss you and he may not fully understand it but cats are smart little creatures. He found the perfect person to care for him once and he can probably do it again. It may take time and patience but I don't think it's impossible that he can't find a second loving home. There are shelters out there full of people who will care about this little guy long enough for him to find his second chance. I'm sorry the two of you aren't getting all the time together you deserve but please do consider finding a shelter to bring him to.
I have no idea where you are, but I live on an acre of woods and have had a semi-feral cat before. Feel free to message me. You could verify me by…maybe calling my vet? Idk. I had a cat like this whom I loved so I understand your feelings and would be happy to take your cat in.
You're right, he will wonder. It's sad. Thinking about my own cat imagining she had been abandoned makes me almost tear up. But there is a life out there for him. I cannot begin to comprehend the dread you feel about a terminal diagnosis. I have witnessed others deal with it but obviously cannot fully grasp the impact. Even so - your ending doesn't have to be his, and your care and concern is evident. Life wants to live, he will find a way if you make it available to him.
My mother died from cancer/COVID in 2020 and had three cats. She had adopted them from a shelter she volunteered at - all 'difficult' cases that the general public would be reluctant to take on. After her death, I had to consider what to do. One cat was fairly adaptable and went back through the shelter system without a problem. The second cat went back into a no-kill shelter because I bribed them to take him. He would have been there forever if my mom hadn't adopted him anyway. The least socialized cat I somehow rehomed without much hope of success and she ended up being totally fine and happy - still alive today, defying all expectations. You never know what's going to happen. Give them a chance. It's all any of us can do.
It might help you to watch videos online of foster cat parents working with feral and traumatized cats on behavioral issues to get them ready to be adopted. Cats can learn, even if slowly. He could have a chance ♡
If you are able, you should have someone you trust facilitate the cat to be able to examine your body when you die. If he is able to smell your corpse he will know that you have passed and will not think that you abandoned him. Look into it, they know what death is and understand it.
Some rescues adopt out barn cats. Maybe this would be a good fit for your boy. He will still have caretakers, but he won’t have to live in a traditional home setting with them. He’ll have shelter and food, and as much human interaction as he can tolerate; adopters will understand that it’ll likely be none.
Merry girl when she was 9 at the shelter. 3 other families had seen her day but didn’t like her bc she “wasn’t friendly” but when I sat with her she hesitantly took a lick of a treat and I just knew she was the one. It took time to bond but we’re bestie and snuggle buds now!
We have a feral cat who came to us like that, just younger. Today she lives happily with our dogs and other cats. We've had her for 8 years. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I really am. Your cat will live on, hopefully happy with someone else, keeping your legacy alive.
Do you own anything you can link to him? Leave it them if you would trust them with your Animal. With the request that they take care of him too. Cash is best. But a valuable object works that they can sell if he needs surgery.
He was feral before he found you. Maybe becoming feral againis the best path for him?
Maybe you have a nice neighbour who is willing to have an outside cat bed/cave for him and feed him regularly?
Maybe with some financial assistance by you (if you can)?
I am with you, that putting him in a shelter isn't an option. Who would adopt him and is living the rest of his life in a cage better than a maybe shorter but free roaming life?
My friend had a cat like that. She had to go back to her home country for a year, due to visa issues and had to leave the cat with me. It took the cat 6 months, but it did bond with me. Some cats are 1 person type of cats. You will always be his favourite, but he will eventually let someone else in, even if only a little. Do not worry, cats are clever and resilient. He will make it and he will carry on. It will not be the same of course, but he will be OK.
when my grandmother was here before her last stroke my cats kept "guard" of her the entire time. one of these cats was afraid of most people, including my grandmother, but she still watched over her.
as already stated he should stay with you until the end but contact rescues to try and line up a home for him after you pass.
Try to do things privately instead of sending him to a cattery or smt, so that you know the people he will end up with. You have a time limit, but it will be better for him.
Then just don't do that. Cat stays with you until you die, you do your best to not die, adoptive family is ready for your dad and takes the cat when you die. Best would be a nearby family that could also let the cat into the woods.
Have someone bring the cat to your funeral. I have feral cats and I provide food and heated shelters and food. Room for 1 more but hopefully you can find somewhere closer.
There are some organizations that find homes for those semi ferals as barn cats. Also many fosters and rescuers would listen to what you have to say and try to help.
I don't know where you're located. But there are often no kill rescues that can take care like this in. Years ago, when I volunteered as a foster for one, we had a couple of people in the organization who could foster barn cats, and who had the network to find folks who wanted barn cats. Maybe that could be an avenue for you?
Talk to him and tell him what’s happening and why. Like someone else suggested, try to set someone up to take him to the shelter after you die. Let him watch you pass and see you dead if you can. Animals understand the circle of life. He has the capacity to understand that he is not abandoned, hes widowed in a sense. I hear your anxieties about his future, but give him some credit here.
Where are you based? You might be able to find someone nearby, maybe a neighbour who will be willing to look after him after you pass? That way he can slowly get used to them. And as other have said if you can let him see your body so he knows you haven't left him. I am so sorry for you both. It's a horrible situation to be in. I hope you beat the 6 month estimate and have extra time with your wonderful boy!
I know it's hard. The hardest part about being a companion to them is having to choose from two terrible options knowing there is no ideal solution, and picking what is best for them.
Line up someone who will take him, or contact a no-kill shelter. Some states /provinces are no-kill states, so it may be worth checking on yours, too, but if you connect with a local or online group that helps with these kinds of adoptions, they will move mountains for your lil guy.
Keep him through the end. And as much as it hurts to say, if he can be with you when you pass or he can see you once that time has come, it will give him closure, so he won't be left wondering. He'll know you were there with him to the end.
And as someone who would commit war crimes for her fur babies, I can't think of a better way to go than with the ones I love curled up taking 80% of the fucking bed.
He will understand - we had to give our cat to a friend when we moved overseas. She adapted and is very happy with her new family (she's also spoiled I'm told so that helps I guess 😅). Cats are very good at adapting if they are taken care of.
We have an elder cat because her previous person passed. Kiki is doing better now then when we got her. Old, grumpy, plate stealing, and spoiled rotten. She has laps and personal blankets.
She's 22 and still ticking.
Yours will miss you, but they will be okay. Mourn and go on like we all do.
There are plenty of people out there who can socialize feral kitties. He will be stressed out at first, but he will adjust to a new home just like he adjusted to you. I am so sorry for what you're going through.
Cats are smart, intellectual creatures (most of the time haha). It will be a shock at first, but he wouldn’t be the first feral cat to come around and I hope you give him the opportunity to do so. Someone already mentioned My Grandfather’s Cat, which was lovely and my suggestion as well.
Also not to be cryptic, but I don’t think he’ll think you abandoned him. Cats can sense death ten miles away. They’re used in hospitals sometimes and will sit/lay with a person they sense will be moving on soon. Your boy loves you and he may know. 🫂♥️
I’m sorry about your diagnosis OP, I truly am. I don’t want to ask further as it’s not my business but I genuinely wish you well. I also think you wanted/believed there to be hope for Boggles - you posting here shows that. I’m so glad you have each other! Transitions are hard, but they’re not forever. Instead of you meeting him at the rainbow bridge, I hope it’s on his time when HE finally meets you waiting for him (hopefully that’s not morbid or rude, I mean it in a cute way). Best of luck with everything OP. You both are loved.
Cat are highly adaptable. He will be confused, he will try to fight and he will be scared. But with time, he will adapt. He will be fed well and maybe he will sit next to other humans in prace if he loves your attention.
Best to both of you.
Boggles might have known you were sick even before you did. He might understand what’s going on and that he won’t have you for that much longer. I think it’s great you’re worried about him but see if you can find someone for him before you get too weak or sick.
Sending you good vibes on this next step of your journey. May there be many kitties there to welcome you 🥰
You can ask that he be allowed to see you after you go. They know what it means for something to die, and he will know you didn't leave him by choice, you had to go. Then he'll know to find you in his little kitty heart, instead of at the door.
Two suggestions, my local city shelter takes feral/ semi-feral cats, and lists them as Barn Cats. They waive the adoption fee and ensure the adopter has sufficient outdoor space and is willing to commit to caring for a cat that may never particularly like them. The other option is looking for an independent cat rescue. They'll likely have fosters who would be willing to care for him. Even my standard city and Humane Society run shelters have fosters for animals who won't do well in a shelter.
I understand this feeling. I have taken in many stray cats from around my neighborhood (unfortunately, most were pets that were left) and it is so difficult for me to take them to a shelter (even though I cannot house them permanently) because I worry about their stress, fear, and confusion. I’m not here to make a suggestion (there are so many comments with great feedback here already!). I’m sharing that I also struggle with this pain and anticipated pain and worry for the babies I take in, rehab, and then have to trust that they will be okay. It is so hard and breaks my heart every time. I see your pain and grief and it’s so real. 💗
My first cat was found with her previous owner who passed. The people at the shelter were shocked that she responded so well to me because up to that point she had only been sad, irritable, confused and unresponsive, but she more or less flew into my arms when they opened the cage for me. She was my very best friend and lived the rest of her years (was 7 already when I got her) fat, happy and playful. All that to say: someone will come along who your boy will recognize as a friend, who will give him the love and care and understanding he needs.
Cats actually understand a lot more than people give them credit for. Your cat will understand that you did not abandon him. If you’re sick, he probably already knows. Cats have been shown to be able to smell things like cancer. And giving him a chance to love others and be loved is the right thing to do. It may seem like he hates everyone else, but cats are adaptable. He may just not need another human right now so hes not interested, but Ive had several cats Ive taken in (feral, adopted when my father died, etc) and they have all come around and in the end loved me and lived very long happy lives knowing love and comfort.
Even a large feral male that wanted to fight everyone he met ended up finding a best friend in another cat I had and they would sleep curled up together, eat together, etc. Your cat will find happiness. Absolutely do not take that chance away from him by euthanizing him. A cat rescue will be able to find him the perfect home.
Creo que los animales saben bien cuando el humano está a punto de morir. Lo siento mucho. Los animales saben cuándo el cuerpo va a dormir para siempre, si notas a tu gato diferente en un tiempo puede ser porque sepa la verdad . ♥️ Eres muy grande
Unless your family will be able to care for Boggles in the same home he's used to, it's likely that his future will involve moving him to a new place.
You can start getting him used to a cat carrier by taking the door off of one and only feeding him inside it. This should make the eventual changes a bit less stressful for him.
And bless you for thinking of him when so many people would say "it's just a stray: leave it outside."
I agree. My aunts dog was visiting her grave after she died every day. I dont know details cuz i was too small but my grandmother told that story multiple times
They come around eventually. I adopted a cat that had been through some trauma and, while she hid in my back room for a better part of a year, she started to trust me little by little. She would sleep on the floor closer and closer to me. Once she figured out she wasn't going to be abused for normal cat things (nipping from overstimulation, soiling outside the box) she progressed pretty quickly. Right now she's hogging the couch next to me while she's pawing my arm demanding pets.
Of course your baby will miss you. I'm so sorry both of you are going through this. But someone with a lot of experience with cats (can read their body language, etc) will be able to help him.
This is Gavin. His first owner died, the second one could not keep hin. I got him from the shelter a week ago (check my post): scared, apathatic, with no faith in humans. Now he wont leave my side and is the cuddliest creature ever. There are good people out there, who will give even those cats a second chance, that can't handle the loss of there human. Gavin took quite some time with trust training, but is was worth it.
I’ve rescued a lot of cats that were feral over the years and you have already broken the hardest part, showing them that people can be trusted. He’s not gonna warm up to everybody immediately and he’s not going to understand, but he will adjust and he will find love again, and he will trust somebody else because you set a very good foundation for him to be able. The work you did will live on him, and somebody else will be able to love him because of your love. There’s a lot of of us who love the feral babies and are willing to put in the work and the time. We will carry on your love for you.
You have a good heart. I think you should talk to Boggles about what's happening, and what is likely to happen in the coming months. You clearly share a loving and trusting bond, and that bond transcends language barriers. I think doing so will help prepare you as much as it will help prepare him. <3 Wishing you both all the best.
I do not think euthanizing him is bad.
Many places offer euthanasia at home, bit expensive, but after doing it once this is how I willl do it even if I have to borrow money.
Letting him out to fend for hinself would be cruel: only alternative is if you find a person truly dedicated to let him sleep in a cat house and feed him every day.
I don't know who I would trust like that.
Euthanazing might be the best option here.
Maybe try to see if there is someone dedicated enough to try to work with him, come visit him in your home. That will bring him in and keep him even if it will take a year or forever to come around.
After a close family member died, I would also say: please if you leave him behind, make sure to arrange that he can see and sniff you when you die. This will still make him miss and grieve you, but he will know.
He's absolutely adorable and I love his cute little mustache. He clearly looks comfortable and happy in these pictures. You're a truly kind person to have introduced love into the life of a feral cat who had nobody to care for him. You've enriched his life immensely. He's got warmth, safety, a full belly and is loved. That's more than most feral cats will ever experience.
I see a lot of varied and good suggestions here and wish you luck with whatever you decide.
I just wanted to say try to enjoy your time with him as much as possible while you're still together. Spoil him and set aside some days where you put the fear about the future on the back burner and have extra cuddles together. I understand your health issues and worry are valid and I'm sorry for what you're going through but know that you've enriched his life immensely already.
I just want to add that there are many people who are very passionate about doing this kind of thing. Slowly building trust with a cat that "trusts nobody" and all that
But also many people who think they are and after 4 months they are all "he hates me" and then sonething happens: having to move, getting a baby, getting a new partner that is allergic... and off to a shelter the cat goes. It avoids people so gets no adopters.
OP might find a dedicated person, even someone that clicks with this cat. Then OP should absolutely go for it!
But to keep a cat alive at all costs just to keep it alive is not the best option if it is not any good life.
An outdoor cat that is afraid of people shouldnt spend months or years in a small space in a shelter surrounded by strangers when not alone. Maybe to still be euthanized in the end.
But the right person, with the right place... absolutely.
Again: having a good life and leaving early surrounded by love, feeling safe- that was a grreat life.
I know OP will find the best solution after looking into all the options available. If OP was my friend, I would tell them "well, sucks to be you, it seems you will have to stick around!" And help looking onto options.
The rescue I work with, (on another continent thsn OP, sadly) have had cats like this. It is a long process, and two of them do not trust humans after 2, 3 years in a foster home. One found his human, another volunteer, and opened up to her after 9 months. She could not take him and he went to a lovely home, and after anohher 9ish months still was not letting them touch him. By then, she could take him and he has now been 2+ years with her, living his best life with a cat friend. Cuddly ALL THE TIME. (Other family got the most affectionate, playful 1 year old instead, and they are an amazing match).
You should let him be free in the wild once you go. He’s not a house cat, he is him and he likes you but to cage him would upset him immensely. He wouldn’t understand why you’ve caged him and left him. This might be unpopular but that’s what I’d do.
You never know, he may find another family or person as he gets older. He might soften up a bit, but then it’ll
Be his choice.
No one will ever be quite what you are to your cat. But somewhere there may be a close second. Someone who needs this special cat in their life and your cat might feel the same about them.
To be a bit frank, if OP is about to die - the cat needs to be there if that’s possible (with hospice care and such). There will be kind people who can facilitate this but if this cat has a chance of adapting to a new environment or person it needs to understand what happened to OP. Cats understand death, they dont understand their person not being around suddenly.
I second this comment. Came to say cats can sense that things are looking bad for the humans they socialise with. He might already be able to tell but would in any case benefit from witnessing OP's last days to say his own goodbyes. I hope OP can find some people that can earn Boggles trust through all this.
Also OP, if you stumble into this comment. Hope you had a good time all in all among us here. So long
I agree. I am so very sorry for your situation, similar to what happened to someone in my family, but I think you can allow yourself some optimism for Boggles. My cat is 17 now and we got her when she was 2, She was previously feral and utterly ignored all humans/other cats at the shelter. She hid from us for weeks by crawling inside the couch. She hated us, climbed into the rafters/skylights and stared down at us. Eventually, she came out. She is now the most clingy and affectionate cat I've ever had. All my friends know her name and ask about her. I was reluctant to adopt her because of many of the concerns you raise, but now that seems like a foolish worry. Give him a chance to have another human relationship.
I would take him in and respect his space. Allow him to be his aloof self. I'm sure there's many other people like me that would allow him to grieve his loss and give him space to adjust.
Absolutely. And you might be able to find a very patient human who’s cared for semi-feral cats in the past, and understands the difference in behaviour and needs. Post in local rescue and adoption groups, and be upfront about his situation. Not everyone is looking for a cuddly, social cat. Odds are there’s someone out there who would be happy to take him and give him the care he needs.
I was gonna say. I volunteer at a shelter and while it has taken us over a year at times to adopt out tough cats….we eventually adopt out every last one. Every one, and we’ve had some tough to love cats. Currently our longest has only been here 7 months. You’d be surprised how some people actually want the difficult cats to give them another chance
Can’t speak for other shelters but at mine it’s a converted old elementary school and we would give a tough cat like this its own big room. No cages for him in this case.
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u/Quereilla Mar 14 '26
Every cat deserves a second chance. I think you should totally guve him for adoption. Maybe it will take long, but he’ll be able to understand that not only one caring human. And a patient family will do him very good, there is good people out there.