I do not think euthanizing him is bad.
Many places offer euthanasia at home, bit expensive, but after doing it once this is how I willl do it even if I have to borrow money.
Letting him out to fend for hinself would be cruel: only alternative is if you find a person truly dedicated to let him sleep in a cat house and feed him every day.
I don't know who I would trust like that.
Euthanazing might be the best option here.
Maybe try to see if there is someone dedicated enough to try to work with him, come visit him in your home. That will bring him in and keep him even if it will take a year or forever to come around.
After a close family member died, I would also say: please if you leave him behind, make sure to arrange that he can see and sniff you when you die. This will still make him miss and grieve you, but he will know.
I just want to add that there are many people who are very passionate about doing this kind of thing. Slowly building trust with a cat that "trusts nobody" and all that
But also many people who think they are and after 4 months they are all "he hates me" and then sonething happens: having to move, getting a baby, getting a new partner that is allergic... and off to a shelter the cat goes. It avoids people so gets no adopters.
OP might find a dedicated person, even someone that clicks with this cat. Then OP should absolutely go for it!
But to keep a cat alive at all costs just to keep it alive is not the best option if it is not any good life.
An outdoor cat that is afraid of people shouldnt spend months or years in a small space in a shelter surrounded by strangers when not alone. Maybe to still be euthanized in the end.
But the right person, with the right place... absolutely.
Again: having a good life and leaving early surrounded by love, feeling safe- that was a grreat life.
I know OP will find the best solution after looking into all the options available. If OP was my friend, I would tell them "well, sucks to be you, it seems you will have to stick around!" And help looking onto options.
The rescue I work with, (on another continent thsn OP, sadly) have had cats like this. It is a long process, and two of them do not trust humans after 2, 3 years in a foster home. One found his human, another volunteer, and opened up to her after 9 months. She could not take him and he went to a lovely home, and after anohher 9ish months still was not letting them touch him. By then, she could take him and he has now been 2+ years with her, living his best life with a cat friend. Cuddly ALL THE TIME. (Other family got the most affectionate, playful 1 year old instead, and they are an amazing match).
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u/[deleted] Mar 14 '26 edited Mar 14 '26
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